Redditor remediality's answer to gaming marathons like Desert Bus for Child's Play:
What if we got a ton of frat boys - like, hundreds - and stuck them in a shallow pit. Just deep enough that they couldn't escape. And then we'd get volunteers to stand at the rim and just piss all over them. Ten seconds of micturating for every dollar raised.
There would be a webcam setup so you could see your charity dollars at work. Also "Return of the Mack" would be playing non-stop the entire time.
And for every hundred dollars, someone would hurl maybe seven dollars in pennies into the pit. Hard.
Maybe at ten thousand we could start throwing VCRs at them. Full of bees...yes. Fill them with bees. And maybe episodes of "Who's the Boss" on VHS.
At $100,000 we could slide a dolphin right in there. The dolphin would be thrashing around and shit, slick from the seawater and the bros would be screaming and the dolphin would be all "CHIRP CHRIP DOLPHIN NOISE CHIRP" which is dolphin for "WHAT THE SHIT THIS ISN'T THE OCEAN WHAT THE FUUUUCK" and it would just be mayhem. Dolphin sliding around in a horrifying deepening lake of piss and Natty Ice knocking bros over like bowling pins. Some would try to escape, but there's nowhere to run in the crush of popped collars and untucked button-downs. One bro would try to "ice" the dolphin with a premium malt beverage, not realizing dolphins do not have knees and thus cannot be iced.
Eventually through a combination of exhaustion, fear, and alcohol toxicity administered via osmosis the dolphin would expire. The bros would split into two camps. One, the smaller of the two, emotionally shattered by the Mack that never seems to leave yet is always returning, the constant yellow rain - and ironically, how freaked out they are by the fact that getting pissed on, fourteen hours in, no longer freaks them out - they worship the dolphin carcass like the idol of a new God. They cling to it for salvation. The other half just wants to try to stick shit in the blowhole while making a downward spiral of increasingly less clever jokes about it. In the resulting chaos one bro is butt-fucked accidentally. After the commotion dies down, they notice a new sound amidst the gentle patter and occasional screams. Buzzing.
The dolphin is full of bees. Again with bees. Who would expect it? And these aren't nectar sipping fatcat honeybees or even yellowjackets. These are fucking Zulu warrior break into your house fuck your dog and kick your mother style bees. Africanized honeybees- which means they are mean as fuck and they hate the white man.
At a million I think is where this would stop. At one million we'd get a grizzly bear. We'd have to call up the Sharper Image and order it way in advance - so this would only be feasible if we were really, really, confident we'd hit our goal. The deposit on a live bear is a hell of a lot of cheddar. So we get this bear, starve it for two weeks, and what you do is sedate the fucker. Then you shave it. Completely bald. Why? It's not a sex thing, I promise. What is a bears only weakness? Besides kosher wine and novel deconstructed amuse bouches? It's thick coat of fur. The fur gives would-be assailants a place to grab and hold on. So you remove the fur. Shave the bear. Then you grease it up with generous coat of industrial elevator-cable lubricant. Then you inject it with a huge dose of PCP and adrenaline and drop it in the middle of the pit. My perfect lazy Saturday afternoon.
The proper sequel Mad Max 3 will never have. Unless of course we get enough donations from generous Viewers Like You.
Here's some pictures from a book that is titled simply "When was the last time..." presented here for your intellectual and emotional objections. The following will be presented in the voice of Orson Welles (in your head only):
So, ladies when was the last time... And the final blow, the piece de resistance, the best piece of advice ever given to anyone ever!!!
Best birthday in several years. I got a cordless drill, a tea-pot and this cool spoon/iron teabag combo device as well as a fancy polo shirt and a really nice watch. Going to spend the day at a friend's and celebrate with Japanese food tomorrow.
neveldinetaylor the directors of Crank/Crank 2/Gamer/upcoming Ghost Rider movie. Lots of Caginess can be found there. The most recent tweet is "[Nicholas Cage] literally just tried to kill me."
A premature thing of the day. On Mondays Nash does a radio show called Radio Dead Air from 9 PM to 2 AM EST. It is a music and topic radio show that has plenty of great music and a bunch of tom foolery. If you need something else to do online come in and chat with the gang.
Today was a 16 hour day at work, so to help pass the time I watch some old online Christmas videos, and after it debuted last year, I can safely say these could be in my top 10 online reviews.
Your life is a joke, there's no way you can win. Save London.
I would start that game, just to fail. On Purpose.
It's a survival game. The idea is to see how far you can get. And losing on the first wave is kinda difficult since your wingmen are actually kinda useful.
Comments
So, ladies when was the last time...
And the final blow, the piece de resistance, the best piece of advice ever given to anyone ever!!!
Going to spend the day at a friend's and celebrate with Japanese food tomorrow.
The ending is hilarious.
Oh shit.
Your life is a joke, there's no way you can win. Save London.
The Next top 11 Christmas Specials. It was a follow up from the year before, however overall this list has movies you would never expect which is why I enjoyed it so much.
Star Wars Christmas Special. Yes, he watched the entire thing, and the pain is glorious!
Ernest Saves Christmas. Honestly this is my favorite from him and has amazing references and lines, including "My name is Santa Claus
For a bonus Top 10 Disturbing Christmas Songs. Warning there is nightmare fuel here...
I had the same problem when windupbird started using the Zoidberg avatar.