Hostile? No. Frustrating as hell? Definitely! Getting no response consistently makes you feel like you are beating your head against the wall for no reason at all. Any bit of feedback at least validates that you are being noticed for your efforts.
No response is only worse than negative response when you're laden with anxiety and prone to over-analysis.
When my time is involved, yes it is worse. Because there's a threshold in which I've committed time to a thing that may or may not happen, and up until I get a response I've got to plan around it. At least having an acknowledgement let's me manage my time appropriately.
And I'm not even relating this to dating. Just general planning.
Hostile? No. Frustrating as hell? Definitely! Getting no response consistently makes you feel like you are beating your head against the wall for no reason at all. Any bit of feedback at least validates that you are being noticed for your efforts.
And constant feedback is not something that young humans, particularly young courting humans, tend to DO. You either have to find somebody as high strung as you are, or accept that sometimes you've got to chill or else you're going to come off as needy and undesirable.
Maybe she's super busy and can't get to it, maybe she's disorganized and forgetful and forgot that you texted her, maybe she's a serial texter and yours got buried in a million other texts, maybe her phone died, maybe she's too nice and doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or maybe she's one of those types who thinks if she ignores something it'll go away. Who knows. Just forget about it and continue on with life. Maybe she'll respond out of the blue that she was busy or something and wants to hang out, and you'll be pleasantly surprised and wish you never doubted her. Yeah I know, easy to say, but difficult in practice. :-P
No response is only worse than negative response when you're laden with anxiety and prone to over-analysis.
When my time is involved, yes it is worse. Because there's a threshold in which I've committed time to a thing that may or may not happen, and up until I get a response I've got to plan around it. At least having an acknowledgement let's me manage my time appropriately.
And I'm not even relating this to dating. Just general planning.
But she already got back to him about the date. Am I missing something?
Hostile? No. Frustrating as hell? Definitely! Getting no response consistently makes you feel like you are beating your head against the wall for no reason at all. Any bit of feedback at least validates that you are being noticed for your efforts.
And constant feedback is not something that young humans, particularly young courting humans, tend to DO. You either have to find somebody as high strung as you are, or accept that sometimes you've got to chill or else you're going to come off as needy and undesirable.
This just further reminds me how lucky I am that the significant person in my life insists on talking about everything.
Hostile? No. Frustrating as hell? Definitely! Getting no response consistently makes you feel like you are beating your head against the wall for no reason at all. Any bit of feedback at least validates that you are being noticed for your efforts.
And constant feedback is not something that young humans, particularly young courting humans, tend to DO. You either have to find somebody as high strung as you are, or accept that sometimes you've got to chill or else you're going to come off as needy and undesirable.
This just further reminds me how lucky I am that the significant person in my life insists on talking about everything.
My wife only talks to me about non-trivial issues begrudgingly because she says she's tired of how right I always am, which she seems to mean un-ironically. :-P
Hostile? No. Frustrating as hell? Definitely! Getting no response consistently makes you feel like you are beating your head against the wall for no reason at all. Any bit of feedback at least validates that you are being noticed for your efforts.
And constant feedback is not something that young humans, particularly young courting humans, tend to DO. You either have to find somebody as high strung as you are, or accept that sometimes you've got to chill or else you're going to come off as needy and undesirable.
This just further reminds me how lucky I am that the significant person in my life insists on talking about everything.
My wife only talks to me about non-trivial issues begrudgingly because she says she's tired of how right I always am, which she seems to mean un-ironically. :-P
I am further reminded of how lucky I am that said person's response to a brewing disagreement is "lets go do the research" and, if that is inconclusive, "well, it's not like we have to agree on everything."
My girlfriend is the only person I know who is geekier than me and the only person I interact with on a regular basis that makes me feel like an intellectual inferior. I may be biased, but I am fairly sure she is the greatest human being on the planet.
Maybe she's super busy and can't get to it, maybe she's disorganized and forgetful and forgot that you texted her, maybe she's a serial texter and yours got buried in a million other texts, maybe her phone died, maybe she's too nice and doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or maybe she's one of those types who thinks if she ignores something it'll go away. Who knows. Just forget about it and continue on with life. Maybe she'll respond out of the blue that she was busy or something and wants to hang out, and you'll be pleasantly surprised and wish you never doubted her. Yeah I know, easy to say, but difficult in practice. :-P
True, true. It's been 20-odd hours since I asked what her availability is like during the week; given that it took half a day to hear back originally, I suppose it's possible.
Also, the whole idea that just not responding is an okay way to "not hurt someone's feelings" is bullshit. No response is a million times more hurtful than a polite "no." At the latter validates the fact that you're a human being worth talking to.
The communication skills of the human race are, in general, pretty fucking shitty.
Maybe she's super busy and can't get to it, maybe she's disorganized and forgetful and forgot that you texted her, maybe she's a serial texter and yours got buried in a million other texts, maybe her phone died, maybe she's too nice and doesn't want to hurt your feelings, or maybe she's one of those types who thinks if she ignores something it'll go away. Who knows. Just forget about it and continue on with life. Maybe she'll respond out of the blue that she was busy or something and wants to hang out, and you'll be pleasantly surprised and wish you never doubted her. Yeah I know, easy to say, but difficult in practice. :-P
True, true. It's been 20-odd hours since I asked what her availability is like during the week; given that it took half a day to hear back originally, I suppose it's possible.
Also, the whole idea that just not responding is an okay way to "not hurt someone's feelings" is bullshit. No response is a million times more hurtful than a polite "no." At the latter validates the fact that you're a human being worth talking to.
The communication skills of the human race are, in general, pretty fucking shitty.
It's been less than 24 hours. It's too early for speculative anger.
Also, the whole idea that just not responding is an okay way to "not hurt someone's feelings" is bullshit. No response is a million times more hurtful than a polite "no." At the latter validates the fact that you're a human being worth talking to.
The communication skills of the human race are, in general, pretty fucking shitty.
Maybe you and the other people here think this way, but maybe she's a ditz and thinks she's being nice? I think a lot of girls are this way and don't realize they are causing more harm than good. Personally if someone is ignoring me, I just think "meh, you're a jerk" and assume they aren't interested.
Dude, chill out. I knew her through friends before I knew she was a barista. This isn't some weird It's Always Sunny Charlie-and-the-Waitress scenario; her job is incidental.
And even if her barista-tude isn't what brought you in, I have no doubt that she's got some courtship fatigue going on if she's even vaguely cute, due to her job.
I'm rooting for you here. You're going to pace a circular hole in the bottom of your love boat and sink.
When people don't respond, unless they're drama people, it's usually because they're not thinking about it. Not responding is a default action, not an active decision, for most people.
People txt/email/call me all the time. I very often don't respond.
Most non-geek types seem to think that a 24 hour silence period between communications during the first-second-third date period is minium and mandatory in order to not seem desperate/clingy/damaged, so there's that to consider. See for reference: every popular media depiction of dating ever.
When people don't respond, unless they're drama people, it's usually because they're not thinking about it. Not responding is a default action, not an active decision, for most people.
People txt/email/call me all the time. I very often don't respond.
DO NOT USE YOURSELF AS EXAMPLE!!! He drives the rest of us nuts.
When people don't respond, unless they're drama people, it's usually because they're not thinking about it. Not responding is a default action, not an active decision, for most people.
People txt/email/call me all the time. I very often don't respond.
DO NOT USE YOURSELF AS EXAMPLE!!! He drives the rest of us nuts.
Just do what I do when I have friends who don't respond.
When people don't respond, unless they're drama people, it's usually because they're not thinking about it. Not responding is a default action, not an active decision, for most people.
People txt/email/call me all the time. I very often don't respond.
DO NOT USE YOURSELF AS EXAMPLE!!! He drives the rest of us nuts.
Just do what I do when I have friends who don't respond.
One text message every minute until he answers.
I only pay for 200 texts per month for a family of 4. I'm very conservative about my texting. There's Groupme, and there's the fucking phone. I refuse to pay exorbitant rates for what amounts to a 'free' UDP packet on a carrier's network that doesn't even guarantee message delivery.
I'm bad about answering texts too. I get sidetracked, and sometimes I respond 24 hours later. If you are not having trouble and expecting an answer right now Oh My Gosh, I will probably be lazy. Rym never picks up his phone. Texting him is your best bet, because at least he will probably look at it and see it if you need to convey information.
I really don't think not responding is bullshit. Mostly, cause I've been in situations where saying no doesn't make a guy go away. They either start pestering you or worse freak out and make you feel like shit. Sometimes not responding is just my and a lot of other women's way of protecting themselves.
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And I'm not even relating this to dating. Just general planning.
Yeah I know, easy to say, but difficult in practice. :-P
Except for the sex, which was phenomenal.
Also, the whole idea that just not responding is an okay way to "not hurt someone's feelings" is bullshit. No response is a million times more hurtful than a polite "no." At the latter validates the fact that you're a human being worth talking to.
The communication skills of the human race are, in general, pretty fucking shitty.
Quit smoking, switch to tea, and move on to the next cute barista in a week if necessary. ;-)
ALSO: falling in love with your barista is sort of like falling in love with your stripper. Get in line.
And even if her barista-tude isn't what brought you in, I have no doubt that she's got some courtship fatigue going on if she's even vaguely cute, due to her job.
I'm rooting for you here. You're going to pace a circular hole in the bottom of your love boat and sink.
People txt/email/call me all the time. I very often don't respond.
One text message every minute until he answers.
Rym never picks up his phone. Texting him is your best bet, because at least he will probably look at it and see it if you need to convey information.