Be yourself, you never know she might be glad that you two are together as she wasn't so happy in the relationship and is glad its over. That said if shes a bitch just be super charming. Or if your bigger flat out jaw her, it worked for Crocodile Dundee.
Am I the only person who has no qualms about people meeting my parents, or meeting my significant others' parents? My parents are fucking awesome, and so I guess I both am happy for people to meet them (I've literally never had a friend they didn't like, and vice versa), and I expect other people's parents to be awesome too.
No, I never had problems meeting parents, but I was the kind of guy parents generally loved. Though the first encounter with my wife's parents was funny because their comment was "He's kinda quiet", but that was because I hung back observed and generally figured out what were the social norms in the family, now they don't say that anymore. :-p
I think meeting people's parents is just kind of a big step, and I also fear what other people think about me. Also, some people just have mean parents.
That being said, Chris wouldn't be asking you to meet them if he didn't really care about you and think you were great, Katie. Just be yourself, you're very pleasant to be around, I promise.
Nah, it's not even a step. It just something that happens, or doesn't, as the situation allows.
We put ridiculous social importance on "meeting the parents." Newsroom (which came highly recommended) actually turned me off by almost immediately introducing a boring relationship plot between two characters that hinges on "the girl wants to introduce the guy to her parents, but he doesn't want to meet them yet sitcom relationship bullshit" that I have so little interest in I didn't even finish the episode.
I dunno, it's a big deal at different stages of life. With my last girlfriend, her parents dominated a lot of her life, so them liking me and meeting me made her life easier or more difficult, depending on the outcome. Because I didn't prefer to hang out with them super often (I thought they were jerks sometimes), her parents were confused (her ex spent a lot of time with them), and my ex kinda got stressed out a lot over it. Yeah, at certain points, meeting the parents shouldn't be a thing, but some people's parents, especially when you're still hovering in the "newly an adult" phase, can be overprotective/controlling. So naturally, you're gonna worry about that getting out of hand.
I've met all sorts of parents from welcoming to indifferent to outright hostile and I've gotta say I've never really understood the anxiety surrounding this for some. I think its largely about self esteem.
You meeting his parents is fine. Him meeting your parents is fine.
What you should be worried about is his parents meeting your parents. I managed to get through a 5 year relationship with Pola without her and my parents ever meeting. That was probably for the best.
I'm not sure that my parents EVER met my first wife's parents. In fact, I'm pretty sure that never happened.
My current wife's parents are pretty laid back and easy going, so there's not much to worry about there. My dad is very chill and gets along with everyone and my mom is so bat-shit crazy that we just don't bother with her anymore (gave her an ultimatum to seek treatment, which she declined.)
Chicago has three: Saharan Summer, Arctic Winter, and Construction.
A ways back, but Massachusetts has two seasons: Winter, and road repair.
Rym, when you said Newsroom, I immediately though of Newsradio.
! I recall liking New Radio. I wonder if it holds up...
It does. It's very obviously from the 90s, but still quite funny. It's the only time I've actually thought either Joe Rogan or Andy Dick were actually funny intentionally, rather than just being laughable human beings.
Uh, I think my point was misunderstood. I'm actually not freaked out about meeting his parents at all. I've already met them and they like me. Meeting the whole extended family and then some sort of scares me, but mostly because that seems like a big deal at our age and based on the way he is. But what mainly freaks me out is the part where his ex will probably be there, and depending on how you look at the situation it's easy to see things in the context that I stole him from her, and considering they'd been together awhile and apparently his family really likes her, that's intimidating.
To give context, he and his ex were high school best friends who dated on and off throughout most of college. She's an important friend to him still, but hasn't really wanted to be around since he broke up with her. I don't know really any details of their relationship or breakup, but the way he's compared it to things I know about, it was not really my entrance in his life that made him break up with her.
But it still means that I'm important enough to him that he's willing to "show me off" to his recent ex that he knows will be upset about our relationship, and she's important enough to him that he wants me to be friends with her. These aren't bad things, but they're sort of putting things into perspective and it's a little much to think about.
Uh, I think my point was misunderstood. I'm actually not freaked out about meeting his parents at all. I've already met them and they like me. Meeting the whole extended family and then some sort of scares me, but mostly because that seems like a big deal at our age and based on the way he is. But what mainly freaks me out is the part where his ex will probably be there, and depending on how you look at the situation it's easy to see things in the context that I stole him from her, and considering they'd been together awhile and apparently his family really likes her, that's intimidating.
You already said yourself that they broke up for reasons unrelated to you. This sounds like way more anxiety than it does reasonable concern.
Probably because he broke up with his girlfriend of on-and-off three years about a month after meeting me, and about two months after that breakup we were dating? I asked directly if they stayed friends because I knew she was an important friend to him, and he established at day one that he was nervous about entering a relationship with me because of his recent breakup and wanting to be considerate of his ex. So no, I don't see it as manipulative. Besides the fact that even had he not said anything, the situation being what it is, I'm a girl. I'm pretty sure I can figure out how she's likely to think about things based on what happened this summer.
Nah, it's not even a step. It just something that happens, or doesn't, as the situation allows.
We put ridiculous social importance on "meeting the parents." Newsroom (which came highly recommended) actually turned me off by almost immediately introducing a boring relationship plot between two characters that hinges on "the girl wants to introduce the guy to her parents, but he doesn't want to meet them yet sitcom relationship bullshit" that I have so little interest in I didn't even finish the episode.
I don't believe Aaron Sorkin has ever had a human relationship with a woman. Thus, one of the biggest faults of that program (And Studio 60)
But if we are on the subject of strange romances in fiction. I still feel iffy on Scott and Ramona from Scott Pilgrim, similar to the frustration people had with Tom and Summer. I mostly blame the fact that O'Malley lost control of way the story was an allegory and became actual science fiction and brought up more questions than answers.
However, something someone brought to my point of view that I hadn't have known was that all of Scott's friends seem like bad people, because we only see them when he interacts with them. It makes more sense that way and makes some of it make more sense, but at the same time it's one thing that irks me with the characters. THEY ALL have communication issues and come off as immature dicks, yet Scott is the only one being blamed for it.
I know this sounds odd, but I think when the series comes to romance it's pretty sweet and understandable a lot of ways, but in terms of human relationships it feels...more off-kilter than believable.
Scott and Ramona is actually pretty realistic for couples of a specific generation and lifestyle that the comic series tends to appeal to in my opinion.
Is it bad that generally when I see someone's relationship status change back to single, I feel mostly like I've been proven right yet again? Woo cynicism.
Is it bad that generally when I see someone's relationship status change back to single, I feel mostly like I've been proven right yet again? Woo cynicism.
The secret is to not change it away from single until you are very very sure it's going to last.
I think the reason for that is that the vast, vast majority of real life romances are fucking boring to everyone not on the inside of that particular romance. It's like ketamine - you're having a great time, everything seems fantastic, but to everyone else, you're just a drooling puddle in a dark, damp k-hole.
Is it bad that generally when I see someone's relationship status change back to single, I feel mostly like I've been proven right yet again? Woo cynicism.
The secret is to not change it away from single until you are very very sure it's going to last.
Or, like me, just hide it from view altogether.
Managed to score a date with cute goth-mecha girl. Sweet.
Comments
My parents are fucking awesome, and so I guess I both am happy for people to meet them (I've literally never had a friend they didn't like, and vice versa), and I expect other people's parents to be awesome too.
That being said, Chris wouldn't be asking you to meet them if he didn't really care about you and think you were great, Katie. Just be yourself, you're very pleasant to be around, I promise.
We put ridiculous social importance on "meeting the parents." Newsroom (which came highly recommended) actually turned me off by almost immediately introducing a boring relationship plot between two characters that hinges on "the girl wants to introduce the guy to her parents, but he doesn't want to meet them yet sitcom relationship bullshit" that I have so little interest in I didn't even finish the episode.
Yeah, at certain points, meeting the parents shouldn't be a thing, but some people's parents, especially when you're still hovering in the "newly an adult" phase, can be overprotective/controlling. So naturally, you're gonna worry about that getting out of hand.
What you should be worried about is his parents meeting your parents. I managed to get through a 5 year relationship with Pola without her and my parents ever meeting. That was probably for the best.
To be fair, I also liked "Wings" and "It's a Living" at various points in my life...
My current wife's parents are pretty laid back and easy going, so there's not much to worry about there. My dad is very chill and gets along with everyone and my mom is so bat-shit crazy that we just don't bother with her anymore (gave her an ultimatum to seek treatment, which she declined.)
To give context, he and his ex were high school best friends who dated on and off throughout most of college. She's an important friend to him still, but hasn't really wanted to be around since he broke up with her. I don't know really any details of their relationship or breakup, but the way he's compared it to things I know about, it was not really my entrance in his life that made him break up with her.
But it still means that I'm important enough to him that he's willing to "show me off" to his recent ex that he knows will be upset about our relationship, and she's important enough to him that he wants me to be friends with her. These aren't bad things, but they're sort of putting things into perspective and it's a little much to think about.
So no, I don't see it as manipulative. Besides the fact that even had he not said anything, the situation being what it is, I'm a girl. I'm pretty sure I can figure out how she's likely to think about things based on what happened this summer.
But if we are on the subject of strange romances in fiction. I still feel iffy on Scott and Ramona from Scott Pilgrim, similar to the frustration people had with Tom and Summer. I mostly blame the fact that O'Malley lost control of way the story was an allegory and became actual science fiction and brought up more questions than answers.
However, something someone brought to my point of view that I hadn't have known was that all of Scott's friends seem like bad people, because we only see them when he interacts with them. It makes more sense that way and makes some of it make more sense, but at the same time it's one thing that irks me with the characters. THEY ALL have communication issues and come off as immature dicks, yet Scott is the only one being blamed for it.
I know this sounds odd, but I think when the series comes to romance it's pretty sweet and understandable a lot of ways, but in terms of human relationships it feels...more off-kilter than believable.
Managed to score a date with cute goth-mecha girl. Sweet.
Either that or she really really likes mecha anime. Take your pick.