I hate it when dating is viewed as a game and when women don't ask men out. In almost every relationship I've been in, I have asked the other person out. Some of the girls I've encountered seem to think that is boorish and unladylike, but i find it has good results and shortens the awkward "pre-dating"/pining stage. It seems ridiculous to me that anyone (male or female) doesn't ask for what they want. Worst case scenario is that the person says "no" and life stays as it is. Grow a pair and ask!
Dating IS a game, and if you're not in constant competition (even if the other person doesn't realize they're competing) it's not very fun. That's how I treated things until pretty recently and it could be a lot of fun. I think I've outgrown it now.
Recently I just broke up with my girlfriend. It only lasted about 2 months, and she was starting to get weird. Now, as an anime fan, I can take weirdness...to a degree. But then she started talking about how she watches deer in her backyard and gives them names. Then she said she cried when she thought one of them died. It snowballed from there. Then I broke up with her, pretty peacefully. I didn't say much other than I didn't think the relationship would work out, etc.
Then a few days later she just sent me a message that was cussing me out for various things, most of which was stupid bullshit she made up...then it got ugly from there.
Dating IS a game, and if you're not in constant competition (even if the other person doesn't realize they're competing) it's not very fun. That's how I treated things until pretty recently and it could be a lot of fun. I think I've outgrown it now.
Competition for what? Dominance? That is no way to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship.
Hi all, sorry about not being able to reply to anyones comments until now, being in Australia I sadly operate on a slightly different schedule to most of you. I'll try and tackle a few of the comments.
Once again, from the information we have I can only conclude that at least Sime was a liar and a bastard for breaking up with the reason supplied.
I most certainly did lie. It was initially a little lie that shouldn't have bitten me on the bottom like it did. Had the situation been slightly different my lie would have been exposed in a cute way that would have led to making out. That happened once before when at a party I said I could tap dance, as luck would have it a young lady at the party could also tap dance. I promised a performance all night, finally after much drinking and cheering I put on a little concert, which despite being pathetic, was met with much mirth and affection. Now sadly with the piano situation things appeared to have gotten far to intense far to quickly and I found myself at someones parents house being held in far too higher regard for such a brief relationship. The break up was affected because of a) the lie, and more importantly b) things were progressing in a direction my young self was not looking for.
True, but she might've fallen head over heels for him as I said earlier, and told her parents a ton about him and wanted him to meet them as soon as possible.
That appears to be the case. When I came to that realisation, by way of the surprise visit to the parents that knew way too much about me, it was always going to end. I found myself in a significant position of power that I could have abused to boost my own ego and sexual confidence but I thought the right thing would be to end it. I perhaps could have mentioned the piano fib on exit but I don't think that would have made much of a difference. I went with cliches because it was one of my earlier attempts at break ups so I didn't handle it well, and secondly they really do fit well sometimes.
Sime. Here is your mission, should you choose to accept it. You have to find that girl and tell her: 1) You cannot play the piano and were using it as a way to impress her. 2) You broke up with her simply because of this. 3) Your relationship meant that little to you. And get the whole thing on video.
I love a good social experiment, the problem is it probably wouldn't be the right thing to do, and I have absolutely no idea how to contact her. It was over 6 years ago and I honestly can't remember her surname, the town she drove me too or anyone we may have mutually known. It really was not much more than a blip and an anecdote on my dating years.
So hopefully that covers most things. I personally can't guarantee I am not a liar and a bastard. It has been a while since I was single and dating, but in that brief period I am certain I acted like a dick many times over (some I can probably recount here if the thread continues to draw interest). I love the whole process of it, the gamesmanship, and the ridiculous situations that arise, the emotions, all driven by the bizarre desire to find a partner. I am now 6 years in with my wife so those days are well in the past, though there is plenty of room for mischief to be found in relationships as there was in lining them up.
Recently I just broke up with my girlfriend. It only lasted about 2 months, and she was starting to get weird. Now, as an anime fan, I can take weirdness...to a degree. But then she started talking about how she watches deer in her backyard and gives them names. Then she said she cried when she thought one of them died. It snowballed from there. Then I broke up with her, pretty peacefully. I didn't say much other than I didn't think the relationship would work out, etc.
Then a few days later she just sent me a message that was cussing me out for various things, most of which was stupid bullshit she made up...then it got ugly from there.
To my mind the first three months is the trial period. You should be able to feel each other out, make out a little, have some fun, then you asses the situation and decide if you'd like to proceed further. Maybe because I am a little emotionally stunted but I am surprised at how anyone can get horribly upset in that period. It takes time to get to know someone, if you learn they cry over deers and that doesn't float your boat, you end it. Why that has to then get ugly is a little beyond me, committing to a long term relationship is serious business and should be done with care. My advice is to play it nice and not get caught up in the slanging match, that way you leave the option open for still hooking up with her friends.
I hate it when dating is viewed as a game and when women don't ask men out. In almost every relationship I've been in, I have asked the other person out. Some of the girls I've encountered seem to think that is boorish and unladylike, but i find it has good results and shortens the awkward "pre-dating"/pining stage. It seems ridiculous to me that anyone (male or female) doesn't ask for what they want. Worst case scenario is that the person says "no" and life stays as it is. Grow a pair and ask!
Even better is that after a little pining and then a rejection you can feel sorry for yourself which makes your CD's more poignant. Bands like Radiohead have always sounded better to me when I had a crush on a girl that wasn't into me. When I was in a happy relationship I wasn't as much in the mood. So I say throw yourself into it, best case you hook up, worst case you get to listen to some great music.
I hate it when dating is viewed as a game and when women don't ask men out. In almost every relationship I've been in, I have asked the other person out. Some of the girls I've encountered seem to think that is boorish and unladylike, but i find it has good results and shortens the awkward "pre-dating"/pining stage. It seems ridiculous to me that anyone (male or female) doesn't ask for what they want. Worst case scenario is that the person says "no" and life stays as it is. Grow a pair and ask!
Even better is that after a little pining and then a rejection you can feel sorry for yourself which makes your CD's more poignant. Bands like Radiohead have always sounded better to me when I had a crush on a girl that wasn't into me. When I was in a happy relationship I wasn't as much in the mood. So I say throw yourself into it, best case you hook up, worst case you get to listen to some great music.
"How Dating Influences the Global Music Market?" Someone needs to write that.
I have some funny dating stories, but here is one that is near and dear to my heart.
After a bad break-up and before I met my husband, I dated a young man.... let's call him Darryl. He was nice, cute-ish, and geeky. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but pleasant. I dated him knowing that I wouldn't fall for him. I told him that I was only interested in dating casually (not dating multiple people, just not getting serious), so I was upfront about my intentions and he was fine with it. He was addicted to some online game (it was a space game, I forget the name) and he would ignore me (even when I was clearly offering physical intimacy) to play it. Eventually the weak attraction that was there died away and I went over to his place to let him know that I wanted to be just friends. He started to cry... a lot. I felt horrible, and I hugged him and told him that I would always be his friend, that I never expected him to fall for me, etc. I started to tear up, I never intended to hurt such a nice guy! Then, as he sobbed on my shoulder he looked up at me with big, earnest eyes and asked "Can we still fool around?" I couldn't believe it! I laughed in his face, threw him off me, and left the apartment.
"How Dating Influences the Global Music Market?" Someone needs to write that.
At the very least there is a massive analysis required regarding the league system (the whole finding a person of equal standing) when it comes to dating. It is such a complex beast, people maneuvering themselves into niches, people shunning mainstream, people that are attractive but with baggage, temporary blemishes like braces on ones ranking, how age affects the system etc. I am certain someone with a bit more intellect than me could right an incredible paper on it.
But then she started talking about how she watches deer in her backyard and gives them names. Then she said she cried when she thought one of them died. It snowballed from there.
This is called a girl. If you're shocked to learn this is how they think, I can't wait until you discover they have boobies.
My wife gives all the stray cats in the neighborhood names. There's Mister Pinky-Whites, Miss Snow-Fur, Mister Dinks, and Little Timmy Two-Toes. She cried the other night when a squirrel fell out of a tree in our back yard during a thunder storm and died before she could think of a way to rescue it.
Ah. It's been a long time everyone. ^__^ But I'm back!
Ah... my love life. I don't really believe in high school love. My friends and I have more of a 'friends with benefits' relationship. Call me a whore, but I personally enjoy being affectionate with my friends. I don't go to the point of where I'm sleeping with them though, that's a little too much for me yet.
I hate it when dating is viewed as a game and when women don't ask men out.
That's common? It's was common for me to see women ask out men all the time growing up and now. Then again I was raised in a majority straightforward female family.
I've found that many people in relationships don't seem to learn anything from them.
Yeah, I could agree with that. I learned something from each of my relationships. The last major one I had I learned the most from and became more mature from it. I also learned how to be a better woman and girlfriend to anyone.
Never had a Girlfriend, I tried and failed EPICLY. Then I just gave up and will wait till later in life. Highschool isn't the best place for relationships.
Never been on a date. I had a crush once, but she never replied to my email. It hurt. But I'm passed that now and have my eyes peeled for a new girl. Thus far every time I think it might go well something happens that crushes my dreams. My favorite one is when I found out that the girl I was thinking of asking out just came back from "Nun Camp". I don't care if she isn't planning on becoming a nun, I don't want to date someone who has stories of nun camp.
My current boyfriend lied to me for two years, telling me that he disliked chess. Then, about a month ago he tells me actually he's really fond of chess, it's a great thinking game, and just doesn't like people to know he plays/likes chess because if they ever beat him at it he'd never hear the end of it. My immediate reaction was "wtf" but actually he does have a friend like that, so I can kind of understand. But still! wtf!
Other than that, uh, cute story: When we first started dating he gave me Seven Romantic Things (apparently in honour of Seven Arbitrarily Chosen Ancient Ancestors). I think they weeerrrre Jewelery, a movie, a show (Fiddler on the Roof), candy, dinner out, dinner in (which I ended up half cooking because he can't cook) and a promise to do any of those things again if I ever asked, at the drop of a hat. D'aaawwwww.
Whoa! I just remembered a bad date. It was so long ago like 4 boyfriends ago. Anyway it was our 2 year anniversary and we were going to Six Flags America. He promised to treat me out before hand. Then he told me in the middle of the place that he spent all his cash on Slim Jims instead! An ungodly huge amount of Slim Jims! He totally broke a promise to me and that was one of many disappointments. Sigh, why did I stay with him for that long. XP
Dating, huh? Dating the Rym half of Scrym is pretty great. Talking about making stuff up to impress girls though, Rym used to make stuff up all the time. I suppose it was not so much making things up as crazy exaggeration, but I remember at various times in our first year going out he told me he was fluent in French, that his family was rich (and possibly had mob connections), that he was half Cherokee Indian (he is part Cherokee heritage, but he doesn't care as much as he should). He was paranoid that I would find out about the time when his car got repossessed and didn't tell me about it until much later. And so on and so forth. I make fun of him about these big fish stories, but it doesn't make me want to disassociate myself with him. It's actually kind of hilarious and endearing. As far as bad dates go, though, I can't think of a single one. Some of our dates are like movie dates: hiking in the mountains with birds flying below you in the valley, going out to a play and eating s'mores at Cosy's, Dinner of mussels and wine at a French bistro on a summer day, Barefoot on the boardwalk, dressed up in Manhattan, sitting drinking ice cold beer at the sushi train while rolls parade past the table. It's like having a best friend that you can also be all romanchikku with. Life is good.
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Then I broke up with her, pretty peacefully. I didn't say much other than I didn't think the relationship would work out, etc.
Then a few days later she just sent me a message that was cussing me out for various things, most of which was stupid bullshit she made up...then it got ugly from there.
So hopefully that covers most things. I personally can't guarantee I am not a liar and a bastard. It has been a while since I was single and dating, but in that brief period I am certain I acted like a dick many times over (some I can probably recount here if the thread continues to draw interest). I love the whole process of it, the gamesmanship, and the ridiculous situations that arise, the emotions, all driven by the bizarre desire to find a partner. I am now 6 years in with my wife so those days are well in the past, though there is plenty of room for mischief to be found in relationships as there was in lining them up.
Someone needs to write that.
My wife gives all the stray cats in the neighborhood names. There's Mister Pinky-Whites, Miss Snow-Fur, Mister Dinks, and Little Timmy Two-Toes. She cried the other night when a squirrel fell out of a tree in our back yard during a thunder storm and died before she could think of a way to rescue it.
The womens, they have empathy for animals.
Ah... my love life. I don't really believe in high school love. My friends and I have more of a 'friends with benefits' relationship. Call me a whore, but I personally enjoy being affectionate with my friends. I don't go to the point of where I'm sleeping with them though, that's a little too much for me yet.
But ah! I missed you guys!
Other than that, uh, cute story: When we first started dating he gave me Seven Romantic Things (apparently in honour of Seven Arbitrarily Chosen Ancient Ancestors). I think they weeerrrre Jewelery, a movie, a show (Fiddler on the Roof), candy, dinner out, dinner in (which I ended up half cooking because he can't cook) and a promise to do any of those things again if I ever asked, at the drop of a hat. D'aaawwwww.