How to ask a girl out...

Skyshiro

Well after reading Sonic's thread about what he should do once he asked girl out, I was wondering if anyone could give me some tips/advice on how to ask a girl out...
The only girlfriend I ever had asked me out, so I didn't have to ask her. I'm in high school and I just want to ask this one girl out, except I don't know how.

MrRoboto

Just ask her, worst thing that happens, she says no.

Dr. Timo

"Hi, would you like to go, like, see a movie, or something?"

gomidog

"Hey, baby, come ride my train."

...just kidding. It's really not that complicated. How do you ask someone if they want to hang out with you? Same sort of deal. There's no need to make it "official-we-are-GOING-OUT" right away. If you are already friends with her and hanging out, tell her you like her some time when you are out alone together, talking. Tell her she is cute or cool, and that you like her, and ask her if you can be her boyfriend. Just like that.
"You know, you're really awesome. Can I be your boyfriend?"
I think things like that are honest and appealing to girls. Straight-forward. Cute.

Jason

"Hey, baby, come ride my train."

"You can call me milk, because I'll do your body good."

MarcusNoble

Just ask her, worst thing that happens, she says no.

I agree. Go for anything else and you risk coming off too strongly and having her think you're going to go too fast.

Victor Frost

"Hi, would you like to go, like, see a movie, or something?"

Yeah, seriously, Make it simple.

Just ask her, worst thing that happens, she says no.

Quoted for truth.

...

Just ask her, worst thing that happens, she says no.

Actually, she could also insult you, and humiliate you in front of your friends, her friends, people you admire, people who admire you. Sure, the worst thing is 'no', but 'no' can be very, very bad and depressing. Don't let my assholery bring you down though, the majority of girls are nice. Don't fret.

(side-note, Firefox wishes to spellcheck 'assholery' to 'grasshopper', a hint perhaps?)

Geo

"Hey, baby, come ride my train."

...just kidding. It's really not that complicated. How do you ask someone if they want to hang out with you? Same sort of deal. There's no need to make it "official-we-are-GOING-OUT" right away. If you are already friends with her and hanging out, tell her you like her some time when you are out alone together, talking. Tell her she is cute or cool, and that you like her, and ask her if you can be her boyfriend. Just like that.
"You know, you're really awesome. Can I be your boyfriend?"
I think things like that are honest and appealing to girls. Straight-forward. Cute.

That is all very good advice and everything, but...... what if you're a wallflower (such as myself) who's too shy to do so? Is there any hope at all for someone like that?

HungryJoe

That is all very good advice and everything, but...... what if you're a wallflower (such as myself) who's too shy to do so? Is there any hope at all for someone like that?

No.

Apreche

what if you're a wallflower (such as myself) who's too shy to do so? Is there any hope at all for someone like that?

Get over it.

Geo

what if you're a wallflower (such as myself) who's too shy to do so? Is there any hope at all for someone like that?

Get over it.

You know Scott I wouldn't be talking if I were you, considering the fact that you don't have a girlfriend.

EDIT: I don't have one either, but I'll probably find someone eventually along the way.

Andrew

You know Scott I wouldn't be talking if I were you, considering the fact that you don't have a girlfriend.

Not having a girlfriend and being too scared to ask a girl out are vastly different.

Geo

You know Scott I wouldn't be talking if I were you, considering the fact that you don't have a girlfriend.EDIT: I don't have one either, but I'll probably find someone eventually along the way.

Not having a girlfriend and being too scared to ask a girl out are vastly different.

I have already edited my comment as I realized I was at fault with my statement, thus making me hypocritical.

ColdfireSerge

Speaking as a wallflower, the only advice is to get over it. I still feel shy when I'm out and about, but I find myself having much more fun if I force myself to go out on the floor and dance (sometimes literally).
I made myself talk to a local band and say how much I enjoyed their show. They told me when their next show was going to be, and when it had to be changed let me know about the new location. Then after the opener band finished and the lead singer came to me and she apologized that they had to cancel their own show to allow the place to close on time. Never would have happened if I kept my mouth shut and just bobbed with the music.
So my advice: Go. Dance, talk, whatever. Ask your friends to dance, even better.

Geo

Speaking as a wallflower, the only advice is to get over it. I still feel shy when I'm out and about, but I find myself having much more fun if I force myself to go out on the floor and dance (sometimes literally).
I made myself talk to a local band and say how much I enjoyed their show. They told me when their next show was going to be, and when it had to be changed let me know about the new location. Then after the opener band finished and the lead singer cameto meand she apologized that they had to cancel their own show to allow the place to close on time. Never would have happened if I kept my mouth shut and just bobbed with the music.
So my advice: Go. Dance, talk, whatever. Ask your friends to dance, even better.

I can't dance, and when I usually attempt to dance I make myself look idiotic.

Apreche

I'm giving serious advice here. If you are afraid of talking to people, just get over it and do it. The same goes for any other unreasonable fears. Just get over them. Afraid of swimming? Jump in the pool. Afraid of heights? Go hang out on the Empire State Building for awhile. Afraid of roller coasters, ride a bunch. Afraid of spiders? Go see the insect exhibit at the zoo/museum. You can't eliminate fear without facing it. Better to just get it over with all at once than to live in fear.

However, if you are afraid of something reasonable, it's probably a good idea just not to face it. If you are afraid of sharks, that's probably a good thing. I suggest you do not go swimming with the sharks. If you are afraid of getting shot, it's probably not a good idea to get shot. In those cases, just stay scared.

Rochelle

You know Scott I wouldn't be talking if I were you, considering the fact that you don't have a girlfriend.

Not having a girlfriend and being too scared to ask a girl out are vastly different.

Agreed. As I can see some appeal to shy guys, overall if you don't have the testicular fortitude to say hi to me, you're not worth my time.

Like what others have said, get over it. Suck it up. If you keep being shy and a wallflower you will lose opportunities for possible relationships either romantic or of a platonic nature.

ColdfireSerge

I can't dance, and when I usually attempt to dance I make myself look idiotic.

Same here. I dance anyway. Who cares how I look?

Apreche

I can't dance, and when I usually attempt to dance I make myself look idiotic.

Very very few people can dance well. You know when you see videos of a night club and everyone is dancing? Most of those people are horrendously embarrassed of their terrible dancing. They just drink lots of alcohol to remove their inhibitions. They don't worry about embarrassment because they can blame it on intoxication.

Bad dancing does not draw attention unless it is super super bad, like Elaine on Seinfeld. The vast majority of people "dancing" at parties and such is just bobbing up and down to the rhythms while possibly waving your hands or moving your hips from side to side or front to back. That's pretty much it. If you stick to those sorts of typical inconspicuos dance moves, you will blend into the crowd and not get any positive or negative attention.

If you want good attention, take dance classes. Break dancing / parkour is a good way to go. Even if you can't dance, if you can do some flips and spins, you will get lots of attention regardless of your rhythm.

...

Agreed. As I can see some appeal to shy guys, overall if you don't have the testicular fortitude to say hi to me, you're not worth my time.

Saying 'hi' when? When you pass? When you say 'hi'? When you arrive at the party? One cannot and will not greet every single person. You know the world spins around its y-axis (roughly).

Mosquitoboy

Speaking as a wallflower, the only advice is to get over it. I still feel shy when I'm out and about, but I find myself having much more fun if I force myself to go out on the floor and dance (sometimes literally).
I made myself talk to a local band and say how much I enjoyed their show. They told me when their next show was going to be, and when it had to be changed let me know about the new location. Then after the opener band finished and the lead singer cameto meand she apologized that they had to cancel their own show to allow the place to close on time. Never would have happened if I kept my mouth shut and just bobbed with the music.
So my advice: Go. Dance, talk, whatever. Ask your friends to dance, even better.

I can't dance, and when I usually attempt to dance I make myself look idiotic.

I got over the shyness I had when in highschool by talking to random strangers I meet on the street about just anything. "Wow that is a really cool shirt", "Whats up with the mask", "Oh tell me all about your crazy views of the world you liberatarian outside my college". I feel it helped me alot, and now I can talk with people I don't know much easier.

So go out and talk to people for no good reason. I donno it worked for me

Rochelle

Saying 'hi' when? When you pass? When you say 'hi'? When you arrive at the party? One cannot and will not greet every single person. You know the world spins around its y-axis (roughly).

When did I say you have to say 'hi' to everyone? If you're interested in a person, go up to them and say 'hi'. How hard can that be?

TheWhaleShark

Speaking as a wallflower, the only advice is to get over it. I still feel shy when I'm out and about, but I find myself having much more fun if I force myself to go out on the floor and dance (sometimes literally).
I made myself talk to a local band and say how much I enjoyed their show. They told me when their next show was going to be, and when it had to be changed let me know about the new location. Then after the opener band finished and the lead singer cameto meand she apologized that they had to cancel their own show to allow the place to close on time. Never would have happened if I kept my mouth shut and just bobbed with the music.
So my advice: Go. Dance, talk, whatever. Ask your friends to dance, even better.

I can't dance, and when I usually attempt to dance I make myself look idiotic.

Y'know, I can't dance either. Put 5 or so drinks in me, though, and I stop caring and start getting out there and having fun. I've been told I'm quite fun as a dance partner, and dancing is how I landed my last girlfriend. Well, dancing and alcohol, but as I said, those go hand-in-hand with me.

So, even if you can't really dance, just get out there and do your thing. Stop caring about it and just give it a whirl. Being carefree and a bit shameless will go a long way in helping you get a girl. It shows that you're comfortable enough with yourself to not care about looking like an idiot.

...

When did I say you have to say 'hi' to everyone? If you're interested in a person, go up to them and say 'hi'. How hard can that be?

You came over snobby, as if the world revolved around you. Kinda like a 16 year old who got the latest BMW instead of a Mercedes. But that's not the most important part, what is is "Darn you! Be more annoyed when I attempt to be mean to you. ".

Very very few people can dance well. You know when you see videos of a night club and everyone is dancing? Most of those people are horrendously embarrassed of their terrible dancing. They just drink lots of alcohol to remove their inhibitions. They don't worry about embarrassment because they can blame it on intoxication.

You still have a problem if you are a non-drinking wallflower. Seeing as you are already feeling uncomfortable being on that dance floor, no matter how inconspicuous, you also cannot blame alcohol for your horrible dancing when you are noticed to be dancing for a change.

Keiya

Odds are that most people in the room are either too intoxicated to care, too busy dancing or are also just as, if not more self-conscious than you are. As Scott had said a couple of posts ago, you have to be pretty bad to be noticed... Bad as in, common sense defying bad.

Rochelle

You came over snobby, as if the world revolved around you. Kinda like a 16 year old who got the latest BMW instead of a Mercedes.

Meh. I'm just saying from my opinion as a female. Most girls like confident guys. The shy neurotic types are too high maintenance. Why would you want to deal with that?

But that's not the most important part, what is is "Darn you! Be more annoyed when I attempt to be mean to you. ".

Why? I'm just trying to give advice from a female perspective. You criticized my advice. So you're saying you know better of the female perspective? ^_~

Apreche

You still have a problem if you are a non-drinking wallflower. Seeing as you are already feeling uncomfortable being on that dance floor, no matter how inconspicuous, you also cannot blame alcohol for your horrible dancing when you are noticed to be dancing for a change.

I don't drink, and I have no problem. The key is to not care what other people think. Let's say you are a wallflower, and you decide to go out and dance without being intoxicated. What's the worst that can happen? Someone says "Hey look, the wallflower is dancing!" You can either just ignore them, and do your thing, or you can make a witty comeback. As long as you don't do something really stupid and conspicuous, you're all good.

The key is that you have to do everything with confidence. Even if you try to pretend to be confident, it won't work unless you are confident. Nervousness and shyness are self-fulfilling prophecies. You're nervous because your worried that you will look like a doofus. You will only look like a doofus because you are nervous.

Geo

You know you guys, I only have a problem of going up to girl and asking them out. But it is very easy for me to talk to anyone else, as long as it doesn't revolve around relationships or things of that kind. I guess I'm like this because I am quite aware that I sometimes that I say things I don't mean and I do some annoying habits (don't get me started) and I just don't think I can risk a relationship having those tendencies. It's also probably due to the fact that almost every chick I know is either totally vain or unwilling to expand their mind about things. There are a few exception as I know some girls who aren't like that, but even then I don't know if those kinda girls would be able to hold a relationship with me.

You still have a problem if you are a non-drinking wallflower. Seeing as you are already feeling uncomfortable being on that dance floor, no matter how inconspicuous, you also cannot blame alcohol for your horrible dancing when you are noticed to be dancing for a change.

I don't drink, and I have no problem. The key is to not care what other people think. Let's say you are a wallflower, and you decide to go out and dance without being intoxicated. What's the worst that can happen? Someone says "Hey look, the wallflower is dancing!" You can either just ignore them, and do your thing, or you can make a witty comeback. As long as you don't do something really stupid and conspicuous, you're all good.

The key is that you have to do everything with confidence. Even if you try to pretend to be confident, it won't work unless you are confident. Nervousness and shyness are self-fulfilling prophecies. You're nervous because your worried that you will look like a doofus. You will only look like a doofus because you are nervous.

The fact that I worry about how I look is a huge obstacle which prevents me from starting a relationship. That's most likely due to my dad ingraining into my head the idea that it's bad if I act unusual. I keep telling him that I don't care how I look, but he just resists and stands firmly and stubbornly still on telling me this.

Walker

I don't claim to have much experience, but the more I think about it the less I understand all the tension surrounding this sort of thing. Girls aren't mysterious, magical beings who smite those that displease them. You can interact with them as you would anyone else, no matter how much you like them. So just ask. If she says no, that sucks, but it isn't that hard to get over.

djfooboo

One of the "sexiest traits men posses" according to women is confidence.

Seriously, get some. It makes many things easier besides love life.