Call your parents once a week, they'll love you so much more because of it.
Yes. For some parents it just takes them a while to get used to not having their kids around. Being the oldest sibling in my family, I had to deal with my mom taking it really hard the first couple of years. I had to call or write emails 2-4 times a week. But by the time I was a senior, once a week was enough, but not really required either. They just get used to it.
New fail. My dad is just so emo. Like...Every time he sends me any kind of message, he complains that I don't call him, that he wants to take me and my girlfriend to dinner, and in a message he just sent me, he ended with "talk to you someday." I mean, really...It's just getting ridiculous. I'm at college. I split my time between doing homework, going to classes, and trying to enjoy what free time I have. I'm sorry I don't just call him so that he can fill me in on the latest drama, or so that I can tell him everything's fine, and try to explain my program to him, since every time we talk, he seems to get it less and less. Sorry, just need to vent.
I say just do it anyway. It's not that bad. Try to avoid explaining technical computery stuff to him - it's like if he tried to explain the Super Bowl to you or something. Just let him know that everything's going alright. Believe me, this is nothing. Last year, my roommate's mom would watch the phone bill and quiz him on any phone numbers that she didn't recognize. I'm not even joking.
Yes. For some parents it just takes them a while to get used to not having their kids around. Being the oldest sibling in my family, I had to deal with my mom taking it really hard the first couple of years. I had to call or write emails 2-4 times a week. But by the time I was a senior, once a week was enough, but not really required either. They just get used to it.
I was an exchange student in the pre-Skype era, so we had to kind of go cold turkey on talking.
Axel, I understand you're venting, but you come across as an unappreciative punk kid. Yes, you need time to take care of school and it's nice being in college and feeling independent, but in the end you will more than likely need your family and vice versa when shit gets tough.
I really don't think it's too much to make an effort to call your folks first instead of them calling you. You calling your parents/family first to see how they're doing shows that you actually care and that's possibly what your father is looking for.
I only have this point of view because I was once like that. I was always frustrated with my parents constantly calling me and asking me for help. They still do that. All I know is that throughout my life my parents have taken care of me and have always been there when I really needed help. Plus my mom would tell me off like no other. Now, I realize that I was being selfish and that what they are asking for is not much and something I can easily do. So overall, I just try to do whatever I can for my family.
Yes, I understand all this. It's not like I try not to interact with them. It's more just that he bombards me with this constantly, and asks me weekly to come over and take me to dinner some night, ignoring when I told him that I really don't have free time most nights because I'm doing homework most nights. He also goes out of his way to try and invite my girlfriend to everything...Including my grandpa's birthday party...She feels uncomfortable meeting either of my parents right now, and I've explained we don't want her to just yet. He has a right to talk to me, but it's not like we never talk. It's just that I really shouldn't have to call him once a week. That seems...Excessive.
My parents just want that I call every three weeks or so, and they apparently don't care that much anyway since they've only done it once. They're probably used to it anyway since my brother left to America 15 years ago or so and he doesn't contact them that much either. That, plus they're all the way on Europe. I do get emailed quite a bit whenever there's something important, plus I have my parents on Skype. I'm kinda glad they don't contact me that much though since I enjoy the ability to do whatever I want without having to care about being scrutinized by them. Sooner or later I'll start to miss them, but for now I'm enjoying the independence.
I have to side with Ro on this one. Call home weekly. You're lucky your parents want to talk to you; other people's parents couldn't care less about them. I have been in college a year longer than you, I live alone and make all my own meals and tend to my own apartment, I write application essays and questionnaires every day in addition to homework, classes, and trying to find a research lab, and I still find an hour per week to chat with my mom and my dad. In addition, homework shouldn't stop you from visiting. I still make the two-hour (each way) trip home every once and a while; I studied for an exam, memorized the full set of amino acids, and took a bio quiz online and still had time to watch the Superbowl with family. And eat delicious chili and Momofuku Cereal Bars with them. Mmmm, Momofuku and beef.
On dads: My dad and I weren't especially close until maybe my senior year of high school or my freshman year of college. Now, we're really tight and have awesome conversations all the time. Don't treat a college dinner with your dad (maybe two hours of your time at most) as a chore, and you're likely to have a surprisingly good time.
At the end of the day, family is the only thing you can be 100% sure about. Try to always do right by them, and they'll try to always do right by you. A good deal of people don't have that bond, so cherish it and grab dinner with your pops. With or without the girlfriend.
Yes, I understand all this. It's not like I try not to interact with them. It's more just that he bombards me with this constantly, and asks me weekly to come over and take me to dinner some night, ignoring when I told him that I really don't have free time most nights because I'm doing homework most nights. He also goes out of his way to try and invite my girlfriend to everything...Including my grandpa's birthday party...She feels uncomfortable meeting either of my parents right now, and I've explained we don't want her to just yet. He has a right to talk to me, but it's not like we never talk. It's just that I really shouldn't have to call him once a week. That seems...Excessive.
Well, at least when he calls it's to invite you to something, mine only calls when he needs money.
It just sounds that your Dad is trying to have something to do with you that is all. I'm at uni to and had sort of the same problem of the family checking up, my girlfriend has that as well even after two years. Its just them making sure that you are ok. Better that they are to loving than they don't care.
I talk to my parents daily. We will occasionally go a few days without talking if I am out of town or very busy, but usually I speak to at least one of them once a day. Then again, my parents are awesome people, so I would want to talk to them frequently regardless of them being my parents.
I would do quite literally anything if I thought that it would give me a very slight chance to be able to talk to my father again, if even for just a few minutes.
So, if you're on good or even neutral terms, call. You know what, even if you're on bad terms, call. If they weren't bad parents, you should call them. You never know when you might not be able to any more.
In some ways, I'm definitely on the lucky side here. I get to see my mom virtually every week, and I see my dad almost every day. Since my dad and I work together, there is the one hand of always being in touch, but there is the other hand of always being around him. Luckily we both know what our priorities are and only chat about work.
So this is the second day being woken up an hour early. Yesterday it was my cat deciding it's play time. This morning it was my neighbor starting his extremely loud motorcycle for 10 mins right near my bedroom window. This will continue throughout the year as long as the weather is nice.
So because I'm awake I go check my email. I get a message from Jet Blue saying, "Check in your flight right now for Boston!"
I was a month off for my flight to Boston. I had to pay some fees to change the flight.
Pretty shitty way to start the day. I might just call in.
I was a month off for my flight to Boston. I had to pay some fees to change the flight.
A few years ago I was a month of on my flight HOME from a convention. A month late, that is, and only noticed when I turned up to the airport. I had to buy a new ticket there and then, and it was stupidly expensive compared to my original ticket. I'd been paid for the gig, but this extra travel cost kinda made the whole thing break even instead of profitable.
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I really don't think it's too much to make an effort to call your folks first instead of them calling you. You calling your parents/family first to see how they're doing shows that you actually care and that's possibly what your father is looking for.
I only have this point of view because I was once like that. I was always frustrated with my parents constantly calling me and asking me for help. They still do that. All I know is that throughout my life my parents have taken care of me and have always been there when I really needed help. Plus my mom would tell me off like no other. Now, I realize that I was being selfish and that what they are asking for is not much and something I can easily do. So overall, I just try to do whatever I can for my family.
Something to put into perspective.
My Fail: I originally typed 31 instead of 30 for my age. I'm not 31 for another 2.5 months. OMG
On dads: My dad and I weren't especially close until maybe my senior year of high school or my freshman year of college. Now, we're really tight and have awesome conversations all the time. Don't treat a college dinner with your dad (maybe two hours of your time at most) as a chore, and you're likely to have a surprisingly good time.
At the end of the day, family is the only thing you can be 100% sure about. Try to always do right by them, and they'll try to always do right by you. A good deal of people don't have that bond, so cherish it and grab dinner with your pops. With or without the girlfriend.
So, if you're on good or even neutral terms, call. You know what, even if you're on bad terms, call. If they weren't bad parents, you should call them. You never know when you might not be able to any more.
The sail is in the breeze...
So because I'm awake I go check my email. I get a message from Jet Blue saying, "Check in your flight right now for Boston!"
I was a month off for my flight to Boston. I had to pay some fees to change the flight.
Pretty shitty way to start the day. I might just call in.