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Fail of Your Day

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  • That's why I don't go to reddit you feckin retards.
  • I just wrote the following sentence: "Dedicated centralized document management systems are something that, while highly desirable, are perpetually deprioritized in deference to more important expenditures."

    I feel unclean...
  • Dude, capitalism is fucking magical. Where can I get me some of that?

  • Capitalism cured my male pattern baldness and made my dick 2" longer.
  • Capitalism ate my baby and now I have so much extra cash.
  • Advance programming teacher is such a sexist pig that I had to walk out of class in an unspent fit of rage. Good fucking god. D:<
  • Record him being a sexist pig and report him to the Dean.
  • Record him being a sexist pig and report him to the Dean.
    Seconded.

  • edited February 2013
    We went to a new trivia tonight and one of our questions was what were these expansions from? The answer was dominion. But in truth I've never looked into any of the dominion expansions so I had no idea. We guessed Magic.
    Post edited by MATATAT on
  • At work today, we (the kitchen staff, collectively) found a very special and mysterious bucket in our storage room. It was a small, white, 5-gallon bucket, of which we have many.

    What made this bucket special was that, despite the fact that it was clearly empty, it was also certainly filled with something most foul. Upon cracking the lid, in preparation to use it for its intended storing purposes, there was released a stench. Now, bad smells aren't that uncommon to me or my cohorts. Burning hair, backed up grease traps, coffins full of rotting corn and mayonnaise (which is a story for another time). No, the strength or putrescence of the odor was not what made it stand out. Rather, this smell was the perfect, precise, exact smell of human semen. But, times a thousand.

    There was a moment of silence, and then horror, and then laughter, and then horror, and then curiosity. No one could recall having put the bucket back there, and there were no tags or markings stating what might have previously been inside, if anything. There were no stains, or remnants of prior occupants. It might as well have been fresh off the factory line, were it not for the fact that it was emitting a room-smothering cloud of smegma-covered-dick stench.

    So, in the end, we drew lots to see who would have to clean the damn thing out, removing whatever invisible substance was haunting it. And I got it. Lemme tell ya, the thing was almost unbearable from a few feet away. I had to stick my face right up to a few inches away. Now, I may not know what it feels like to be gagged with a dick, but I'm almost certain I now know what it smells like.
  • Check one off for Scooby Doo and the gang.
  • My friend just told me he wasn't allowed to use the term "Illegal Immigrant" (or any variation) in a college paper, but he WAS allowed to use any other derogatory slag he wanted.
  • Due to me thinking the same conversation with my girlfriend was actually two different conversations about two different things, I let her use my paypal account to sign up for a paid service online. It turns out the two conversations were the same conversation. If I'd have known that, I wouldn't have let her fall for an obvious scam.

    So... I guess I'll never see that 100 dollars again.
  • Wacom tablet driver not found. Even right after I reinstall you.

    Awesome.
  • Making a chess set out of boredom. Well, the set is out of polymer clay and odds and ends, but the motivator is boredom. I made a kickass figure of Death to be the black king, but then I decided I could improve him with a paint application or two. Oops.

    Now he's a little more zombie Rastafarian Jesus...

    http://imgur.com/7MMNb7A
  • Making a chess set out of boredom. Well, the set is out of polymer clay and odds and ends, but the motivator is boredom. I made a kickass figure of Death to be the black king, but then I decided I could improve him with a paint application or two. Oops.

    Now he's a little more zombie Rastafarian Jesus...

    http://imgur.com/7MMNb7A
    So how's this a fail?
  • A very good friend of mine from high school died last night, from a seizure in perfect health next to his wife... Fuck.
  • A very good friend of mine from high school died last night, from a seizure in perfect health next to his wife... Fuck.
    Wow.

    Did he have a history of seizures, or was it completely out of the blue?

  • edited February 2013
    Completely out of the Blue, his name was Ryan Johnson, you met him down the shore once and at my wedding, he was the World War II Ph.D. guy. Short guy. Funny, carefree.
    Post edited by Cremlian on
  • I'm sorry to hear that, Cremlian. That's a total bummer :(
  • Completely out of the Blue, his name was Ryan Johnson, you met him down the shore once and at my wedding, he was the World War II Ph.D. guy. Short guy. Funny, carefree.
    :(

  • That's got to be traumatising for his wife.
    I can't even begin to wrap my head around someone going from healthy to dead completely out of the blue in such a shocking way.
  • Yea tell me about it it's going to be heart wrenching when I see her
  • Holy fuck dude... That is awful, you have our sincerest condolences. If there is anything we can do to make things easier or whatever... Just let me know.
  • So very sorry to hear that,. Cremlian... :(
  • Damn, that well and truly sucks. My condolences.
  • edited February 2013
    My mom has breast cancer. Holy fuck.
    Post edited by Walker on
  • Woah dude. That really sucks. :(
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