Yo, for the record, I'm Catholic and I am pro-marriage equality, pro-choice, pro-legalization, pro-separation of church and state (i.e., keep the Ten Commandments away from public courts), I think "God" should get pulled from the Pledge, etc. So, y'know.
Flirting is fun and all, but there is a definite line.
Where?
When one party is obviously disinterested, bothered, and/or trying to avoid the second party, who persists in flirting despite knowing that the first party wants to be left alone. That's when we're seeing harassment.
Okay. I was just making sure. I've seen enough Christian bashing on this forum, often when it's uncalled for.
I was actually surprised at how heathen-like this board seems. My other haunts typically have a Christian majority or at least a near 50/50 split. Everyone likes to take potshots at the "competition" but you probably get a disproportionate amount. Or maybe overly proportionate is more correct. Whatever, I'll back you up on the next Christian vs whatever argument I see. I work both sides.
The only group I never get to see skewered is the Baha`i faith. Those guys are due for some.
Flirting is fun and all, but there is a definite line.
Where?
When one party is obviously disinterested, bothered, and/or trying to avoid the second party, who persists in flirting despite knowing that the first party wants to be left alone. That's when we're seeing harassment.
The discussion of "the line" got shifted to a new thread.
Okay. I was just making sure. I've seen enough Christian bashing on this forum, often when it's uncalled for.
I was actually surprised at how heathen-like this board seems. My other haunts typically have a Christian majority or at least a near 50/50 split. Everyone likes to take potshots at the "competition" but you probably get a disproportionate amount. Or maybe overly proportionate is more correct. Whatever, I'll back you up on the next Christian vs whatever argument I see. I work both sides.
The only group I never get to see skewered is the Baha`i faith. Those guys are due for some.
You don't need to back me up unless you really want to. And I don't plan on getting into any more arguments, so your proposal may be useless anyways. But thanks.
I thought I might clarify this for Axel's sake: Axel, if you're right, I'll back you up. If you're wrong, ... Or, if you don't want "right" and "wrong" in the mix: I'll try to consider your arguments independently of your person.
That is something I've wanted for a very long time. There's a Kung Fu dojo down the block from us, but I have to wait until I can afford it. He offered me $500 for a year and I want to take him up on that, but I need to have a nice buildup in my savings account before I can consider that.
I really don't want to derail this thread into "My tiger style is more powerful than your dragon style", but please -- kung fu doesn't work. Striking arts in general are probably not right for you as a woman who's looking to defend yourself against men, who will generally be much bigger than you, but if you're going to go with a striking art you should probably go with boxing or kickboxing. Arts with a full-contact sport component are almost always more effective. I really would recommend judo, as its all about biomechanical advantage which allows you to throw a much larger opponent, then get out of there. It's also usually pretty cheap -- I was taking judo at a Japanese community center for only $20/month. Some kind of wrestling could be good, as could Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, though it's generally really expensive, and not much help unless you're already on the ground.
I was a greco-roman wrestler in high school and my first year in college. I also studied some Judo as an aid to my wrestling.
And I don't plan on getting into any more arguments, so your proposal may be useless anyways.
You came dangerously close here. If you really want to avoid arguments, then next time you're about to post anything about religion, don't.
I know. I was reconsidering it as I was posting. But I felt this one was necessary. I just don't want people to jump to this stereotype of that being all Christians...
What about the stereotype that all Christians think that all non-Christians think they're a stereotypical Christian? What are you going to do about that one? EDIT: Bet you weren't prepared for that!
What about the stereotype that all Christians think that all non-Christians think they're a stereotypical Christian? What are you going to do about that one? EDIT: Bet you weren't prepared for that!
Then next time be prepared. And next time, if you want to start bitching about Christian blah and Christian waaaah, please make a "Christian blah and Christian waaaaah" thread, and keep it the hell off of stuff like this.
Then next time be prepared. And next time, if you want to start bitching about Christian blah and Christian waaaah, please make a "Christian blah and Christian waaaaah" thread, and keep it the hell off of stuff like this.
I've had the reverse situation. An ex of mine always tried really hard to get me to kiss and make out with other girls. (And ultimately, of course, a threesome, but he said he would be happy just watching.) He tried getting me drunk, tried pulling the "if you really love me you'll do it" card, etc. I asked him what he'd do if I went lesbian and left him, and I think he was serious when he got all excited at the notion. I just couldn't get it into his head that I had no interest in engaging in more-than-friendly actions with other girls. I just don't get this obsession with lesbians that guys have. Every now and then when I mention that my best friend is a girl (surprise!) I get the "have you ever experimented?" question from guys. This behavior is really insulting to all girls, no matter our sexual preferences. I just don't get it.
If someone ever pressured me to engage in any activity (sexual or otherwise) that I did not want to take part in, they would simply be out of my life. I am glad you aren't with someone that treated you like a sex toy rather than a human being anymore.
Yeah, I'm very relieved to hear that that guy's an ex of yours. That's just nasty.
It's insulting to all girls because it's a shameless attempt to pry into our privacy, and therefore incredibly disrespectful. I've had both strange guys and girls think that they can ask me all manner of questions once they find out I'm gay. "Do y'all use a strap?" was one of the worst, asked by another girl at a place I used to work. (And yeah, I worked in a shithole).
You know, I think it's mostly a lack of experience that prompts these questions. Having been friends with bi and lesbian girls for a few years now, I can safely say this: They're just as boring as everyone else in a relationship. They're people, not magical fairies that come down out of the sky and do it for your pleasure. And most guys need to get it through our heads that "lesbian" means "I don't have any romantic or sexual interest in you. I may like you as a friend, but that's about it".
If someone ever pressured me to engage in any activity (sexual or otherwise) that I did not want to take part in, they would simply be out of my life. I am glad you aren't with someone that treated you like a sex toy rather than a human being anymore.
I'm not even sure why someone would want to pressure someone else. If I'm interested in a person, and want to do things with them, I want them to be interested in doing things with me as well. It probably goes back to insecurity issues; they lack the self-confidence to feel like they can make something happen without pressuring someone.
tried pulling the "if you really love me you'll do it" card, etc
That's the part that I find particularly reprehensible. That's emotional abuse right there, and that's never OK.
If someone ever pressured me to engage in any activity (sexual or otherwise) that I did not want to take part in, they would simply be out of my life. I am glad you aren't with someone that treated you like a sex toy rather than a human being anymore.
I'm not even surewhysomeone would want to pressure someone else. If I'm interested in a person, and want to do things with them, I wantthemto be interested in doing things withmeas well. It probably goes back to insecurity issues; they lack the self-confidence to feel like they can make something happen without pressuring someone.
In that particular case I doubt it had anything to do with insecurity. It sounds more like the guy wanted an open relationship or a woman interested in threesomes and attempted to force that on his significant other because 1) he felt he could force and manipulate someone to fulfill his needs regardless of their desires (a classic power trip) and 2) he actually wanted a different kind of relationship than she wanted and instead of addressing that fact openly, realizing the disparity and deciding to reconcile himself to the relationship he had or leave the relationship - he instead attempted the aforementioned power trip. It is fairly obvious that the issues at play were control and a lack of maturity in openly expressing and fulfilling his needs or desires.
It is fairly obvious that the issues at play were control and a lack of maturity in openly expressing and fulfilling his needs or desires.
It's been my experience that control freaks are extremely insecure people, but you're right, the more immediate causes were most likely the need to control the situation and immaturity in general.
It's good to be able to recognize these problems and fix the situation before it gets worse. Sometimes the solution sucks, but it's better than dragging yourself through hell only to get more of the same.
Comments
The only group I never get to see skewered is the Baha`i faith. Those guys are due for some.
But thanks.
Axel, if you're right, I'll back you up. If you're wrong, ...
Or, if you don't want "right" and "wrong" in the mix:
I'll try to consider your arguments independently of your person.
EDIT: Bet you weren't prepared for that!
Don't want an argument, pfft.
I've had the reverse situation. An ex of mine always tried really hard to get me to kiss and make out with other girls. (And ultimately, of course, a threesome, but he said he would be happy just watching.) He tried getting me drunk, tried pulling the "if you really love me you'll do it" card, etc. I asked him what he'd do if I went lesbian and left him, and I think he was serious when he got all excited at the notion. I just couldn't get it into his head that I had no interest in engaging in more-than-friendly actions with other girls. I just don't get this obsession with lesbians that guys have. Every now and then when I mention that my best friend is a girl (surprise!) I get the "have you ever experimented?" question from guys. This behavior is really insulting to all girls, no matter our sexual preferences. I just don't get it.
It's insulting to all girls because it's a shameless attempt to pry into our privacy, and therefore incredibly disrespectful. I've had both strange guys and girls think that they can ask me all manner of questions once they find out I'm gay. "Do y'all use a strap?" was one of the worst, asked by another girl at a place I used to work. (And yeah, I worked in a shithole).
They're just as boring as everyone else in a relationship. They're people, not magical fairies that come down out of the sky and do it for your pleasure.
And most guys need to get it through our heads that "lesbian" means "I don't have any romantic or sexual interest in you. I may like you as a friend, but that's about it".
It's good to be able to recognize these problems and fix the situation before it gets worse. Sometimes the solution sucks, but it's better than dragging yourself through hell only to get more of the same.