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Dating

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  • Talk it out, talk it out, talk it out. x a million. If someone doesn't like talking about feelings and relationships, not worth it.
  • Nuri said:

    Talk it out, talk it out, talk it out. x a million. If someone doesn't like talking about feelings and relationships, not worth it.

  • Rym said:

    90% of flirting is just being friends and acting the way friends act with each other.

    This doesn't fit with my model or definition of flirting at all.
  • Rym said:

    90% of flirting is just being friends and acting the way friends act with each other.

    This doesn't fit with my model or definition of flirting at all.
    What you don't understand is that Rym flirts with pretty much every single one of his friends. Tru-fac
  • The flirt glands are stored in the eyebrows. Mo-facs
  • Andrew said:

    Rym said:

    90% of flirting is just being friends and acting the way friends act with each other.

    This doesn't fit with my model or definition of flirting at all.
    What you don't understand is that Rym flirts with pretty much every single one of his friends. Tru-fac
    I also flirt with many of my friends, but that doesn't help when giving advice about flirting. 90% of flirting ISN'T being friends and acting like normal friends act. It's maybe 10% about being friends and acting like friends act, and 90% about having confidence in your own human desirability.
  • Andrew said:

    Rym said:

    90% of flirting is just being friends and acting the way friends act with each other.

    This doesn't fit with my model or definition of flirting at all.
    What you don't understand is that Rym flirts with pretty much every single one of his friends. Tru-fac
    Yes. Including the man-friends.

    Gay chicken is a constant in our universe. You gotta be willing to go the distance.
  • Going for speed is optional.
  • Even when you're alone in a time of need.

    Especially then.
  • Those are the times when you might just need some Cake.
  • Those are the times when you might just need some Cake.

    Too bad it is non-factual.
  • Nuri said:

    Andrew said:

    Rym said:

    90% of flirting is just being friends and acting the way friends act with each other.

    This doesn't fit with my model or definition of flirting at all.
    What you don't understand is that Rym flirts with pretty much every single one of his friends. Tru-fac
    Yes. Including the man-friends.

    Gay chicken is a constant in our universe. You gotta be willing to go the distance.
    I was once thrown out of McGreggors near RIT along with another student for a game of gay chicken. We were also told to please put our clothes back on.

    I. Don't, Lose.
  • So I was on two different dates in a row where the feedback received was "There's no chemistry". Rethinking my dates over the years this could apply to every date I've ever had.

    Anyone have any suggestions?
  • Bring an erlenmeyer flask.
  • I don't know if that is something you can advise for.
  • Keep at it.
  • Statistics is on your side.

    On a note relevant to this thread, I reactivated my OKCupid profile and reinstalled Tinder. My OKCupid profile needs some updating.
  • I installed Tinder but I was lazy and didn't want to make much of a bio until later. You'd be surprised how many matches you get when all you have written is "Don't message me if you don't like Bruce Springsteen".
  • edited April 2016
    Because of course that's what you wrote. lol
    Post edited by Victor Frost on
  • Statistics is on your side.

    On a note relevant to this thread, I reactivated my OKCupid profile and reinstalled Tinder. My OKCupid profile needs some updating.

    Hitting 40 this year, stats aren't that in my favor.
  • Pegu said:

    Yeah be yourself and all that but I have no idea about flirting.

  • Pegu said:

    Yeah be yourself and all that but I have no idea about flirting.

    Why do I like that voice so much. Kristen Schaal has the same mannerisms....
  • Wyatt said:

    Keep at it.

    Yep. Not having chemistry is not a bad thing. If you had chemistry with every person you met, you'd literally have thousands of friends by now.
  • Wyatt said:

    Keep at it.

    Yep. Not having chemistry is not a bad thing. If you had chemistry with every person you met, you'd literally have thousands of friends by now.
    Not having chemistry with ANYONE seems to be the pattern.
  • Raithnor said:

    Wyatt said:

    Keep at it.

    Yep. Not having chemistry is not a bad thing. If you had chemistry with every person you met, you'd literally have thousands of friends by now.
    Not having chemistry with ANYONE seems to be the pattern.
    This is going to be the overwhelming pattern of your life. This is entirely normal for people who aren't fictional characters like Barney Stinson.
  • It's hard to get chemistry with people. When people realize that, then it's not such a barrier. And sometimes reactions take longer to kick off where others are immediate.

    It stands to reason tho that some thought about what type of personality you think would be attractive and that you want to be a good fit for is one potential path forward if you feel self improvement is the way to go.

    I tend to think I'm kinda shitty to be around for many people, a lot of the time at least, and sometimes I want to work on that. Or sometimes I don't have the fucks to give... but I try to think of what my personality is and if I need to adjust it to fit with the type of person I might want to be with, romantically or otherwise.

    But yes sample size might have to grow as well.
  • Only force chemistry in your professional life and only for a short time when you absolutely need it.

    I don't suggest it in you personal life. Well unless it's for family events.
  • So when you all say chemistry you all are referring to what exactly? Being charming? dressing well? Being a good listener, not be boring or acting bored? Break it down if you will. Nerds need more data than most. The dating concept of having 'chemistry' is a bit nebulous.
  • When two people have chemistry, they feel a natural pull towards each other where they want to progress to further intimacy. Simple as that. You can have a great time hanging out with someone, but not feel any kind of romantic or sexual pull towards them. You just don't feel like you naturally want to progress to that level. That's what not having chemistry is.
  • No. Chemistry refers to the sparks that fly due to the interaction between two people.

    One person doesn't have chemistry and the other person is attracted to that chemistry. Two people must each have something the other finds intriguing, and chemistry happens when they mix.
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