I've never ever heard a guy complain "Aw man... I thought we were just going to hang out and have a good time, but that girl was just trying to get in my pants!" I'm not saying it's not possible, or that it has never happened. But uh... I've never heard of it from anyone I know.
I've had at least a handful of girls try and make moves on me that I was definitely not interested in. Not exactly "get in your pants" but pretty close.
So dinner and a movie didn't happen last night, but fireworks on the beach at the Polynesian are happening tonight. I feel like that is more than an adequate (and romantic) trade-off.
Yesterday a semi-new female friend asked if I would hang out with her while she did work. I helped her a little bit and we also took a video game break and had a good time. Then we stayed up 'til 5am watching Firefly. When we woke up this morning, we slept in and cuddled a good bit. It was nice.
It may not happen again or go anywhere, or it might. I'mma ride it out. Just happy 'cause cuddles.
I have done an empirical study on date movies, and I conclude that watching Secretary together is highly correlated with sexual activity for a certain subset of the population.
I once made a move on a girl while we watched someone else play Silent Hill.. Speaking of romantic movies :-p
Hey dude, one of the more memorable experiences in my early romantic endeavors occurred while watching Back to the Future 2. I won't lie, I still get a semi when I listen to Johnny-B-Goode.
I once made a move on a girl while we watched someone else play Silent Hill.. Speaking of romantic movies :-p
Hey dude, one of the more memorable experiences in my early romantic endeavors occurred while watching Back to the Future 2. I won't lie, I still get a semi when I listen to Johnny-B-Goode.
I have done an empirical study on date movies, and I conclude that watching Secretary together is highly correlated with sexual activity for a certain subset of the population.
So, I was kind of down due to my lack of romantic life. I even took to writing to keep my brain busy and to force myself not to think about it. About a week ago I was approach for a supervisor position. Suffice to say that I am not thinkng about my love life or lack of anymore. I think that is a good thing.
So I feel like things with Maddison are going nicely, we've had a few nights in which we just hang out on her couch under a blanket together and watch a movie. I need to actually make a move to see what is exactly going on here, but she made physical contact first by hugging me at the end of the night on Monday.
Just simple things like while you're sitting under the blanket having your legs touch or something similar is a good gauge. If she pulls her leg away when it bumps into yours, just say it's fine and don't move any further. If she just leaves her leg there with your leg touching hers, leave that and don't progress any further.
Or something similar to that, so long as you're not physically harassing or assaulting her basically. XD
Pretty much, if you show that you're okay with that level of physical contact and she is too, she may feel fine going for the head on your shoulder level of cuddles. Pretty much, if you start, let her push it further, and then maybe you push it a little further, etc. Alternating like this until you find the level at which you're comfortable right then and there.
And eventually, at some point, you have to kiss her.
On Monday night, she was playing Candy Crush. I told her that I had never played it, so we spent a pretty decent amount of the night playing it on her iPad, got super close on the couch, and then proceeded to not move from those spots while waiting for more lives. I don't think the physical contact is necessarily the problem, I think it's just me finally manning up and making a move.
I know that's sort of shitty and cynical and I don't really mean it at face value, but with all the sensitivity in the past 5-10 years over whether unwelcome advances are in and of themselves assault, etc, I don't know how any college kid knows how the hell to conduct themselves in these situations anymore. I'd be paranoid as hell.
Then again, when I was young, it was always the girls making the moves because I was WAY too shy.
Just simple things like while you're sitting under the blanket having your legs touch or something similar is a good gauge. If she pulls her leg away when it bumps into yours, just say it's fine and don't move any further. If she just leaves her leg there with your leg touching hers, leave that and don't progress any further.
Axel, this kind of in depth advice reads as really creepy.
Just simple things like while you're sitting under the blanket having your legs touch or something similar is a good gauge. If she pulls her leg away when it bumps into yours, just say it's fine and don't move any further. If she just leaves her leg there with your leg touching hers, leave that and don't progress any further.
Axel, this kind of in depth advice reads as really creepy.
I think taken out of context it almost sounds like grooming, but honestly I'm not sure what other advice would be better. Romantic relationships are about incremental advances and feeling each other out.
I guess you could go the 1990s United States ultra-PC method and ask explicit permission for each specific act, such as putting a hand on a shoulder, but that seems pretty cumbersome and very likely to be counterproductive and creepy seeming itself.
This whole topic is a minefield for the past decade.
Just simple things like while you're sitting under the blanket having your legs touch or something similar is a good gauge. If she pulls her leg away when it bumps into yours, just say it's fine and don't move any further. If she just leaves her leg there with your leg touching hers, leave that and don't progress any further.
Axel, this kind of in depth advice reads as really creepy.
Now that I'm more awake I agree.
It's more about personal experience. Not saying to force anything. Just saying read the comfort level. Be unafraid to advance the level of physical contact, but also don't go too forward. If one level of physical touch has been achieved and you initiated, wait for them to advance further. If they initiate a level, you can initiate one.
It's not meant to be creepy, just sort of basic ideas.
But again, Ryan mentioned that the physical contact thing doesn't seem to be an issue. So in that case, yes, just making a move is the important part.
Not to mention how, as geeks/nerds/whatevs we tend to want to break things down into parts and procedures, which can unintentionally make things like talking about romancin' sound creepy and sterile.
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It may not happen again or go anywhere, or it might. I'mma ride it out. Just happy 'cause cuddles.
Or not.
Depends.
I'm kinda curious if the new 50 shades movie will be a good 'date' movie....
DAMN THIS COFFEE, I CAN'T STOP USING CAPS!
Plus I do the dom thing better, so, it's almost awkward to watch.
But for a new date who has so-far played it rather vanilla? I guess that film could be a good precursor.
About a week ago I was approach for a supervisor position. Suffice to say that I am not thinkng about my love life or lack of anymore.
I think that is a good thing.
Or something similar to that, so long as you're not physically harassing or assaulting her basically. XD
Pretty much, if you show that you're okay with that level of physical contact and she is too, she may feel fine going for the head on your shoulder level of cuddles. Pretty much, if you start, let her push it further, and then maybe you push it a little further, etc. Alternating like this until you find the level at which you're comfortable right then and there.
And eventually, at some point, you have to kiss her.
I'm just super intimidated by it.
Unless you are married. When you are married all bets are off.
2. Don't be unattractive
I know that's sort of shitty and cynical and I don't really mean it at face value, but with all the sensitivity in the past 5-10 years over whether unwelcome advances are in and of themselves assault, etc, I don't know how any college kid knows how the hell to conduct themselves in these situations anymore. I'd be paranoid as hell.
Then again, when I was young, it was always the girls making the moves because I was WAY too shy.
I guess you could go the 1990s United States ultra-PC method and ask explicit permission for each specific act, such as putting a hand on a shoulder, but that seems pretty cumbersome and very likely to be counterproductive and creepy seeming itself.
This whole topic is a minefield for the past decade.
It's more about personal experience. Not saying to force anything. Just saying read the comfort level. Be unafraid to advance the level of physical contact, but also don't go too forward. If one level of physical touch has been achieved and you initiated, wait for them to advance further. If they initiate a level, you can initiate one.
It's not meant to be creepy, just sort of basic ideas.
But again, Ryan mentioned that the physical contact thing doesn't seem to be an issue. So in that case, yes, just making a move is the important part.