To answer what actually happened, I went in with caution, but ultimately let her do what she wanted. No awkwardness the next morning, so I'd say it turned out fine.
For fear of starting the argument up again, I'm going to keep this brief.
Though I did notice that people were ganging up on Axel, as an observer, I couldn't help but get kinda peeved by his indignation. I don't have a particular opinion towards the subject, but the way he expressed (or didn't express) his point was aggravating, especially since he refused to defend his opinion when it was being challenged.
There are a lot of different kinds of emotional attachment. The monogamous "OMG YOU ARE THE ONE FOR ME" sort of love is just one form. A lot of people express their love in different ways and feel it in different ways. Some people can spread their love around. I've met straight guys in a poly relationship who had feelings for his male partner. It wasn't a sexual attraction, but there was emotional attachment there. It happens differently for different people.
Not to reopen this argument, but I'd just like to quote this for truth. I've been in that situation (non-sexual romance, or should I say BROMANCE) and things ended with a distinct lack of sexual tension. We're all still really awesome platonic friends.
On my current romantic front, nothing much has been happening. I've gone on a few dates, but haven't really found a spark with anyone in particular. However, some of those dates have led to awesome platonic friendship! Which is always a good thing.
I think this girl really cares about me. I don't understand it, and I don't think I deserve it, but there she is to help me up when I'm down. I don't usually let people in but she's forced her way there, and it seems like she intends to stay. I keep waiting for something bad to happen, for it all to fall apart like it always does for me, but maybe it won't this time.
Who knows? I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. Fuck me, though, I need some sleep...
If you try to avoid all the bad things that could happen, you'll miss out on a lot of great things in the process, too.
No worries there. The driving outlook behind most of my life is that things which fucking terrify me are things to be pursued on principle. Sometimes it's sort of like blindfolding yourself and walking out onto a highway strewn with roadkill and hoping that the miles-off rumbling sound isn't that of a semi but instead some sort of vehicle made out of emotional fulfillment, though.
If someone is pushing their way in, let them. The people who want to be in your life are the people who should be there.
I'll add that to my list of "Advice that will get me killed at some point."
I think what Axel's trying to get at is that the people who put in a lot of effort for you are more worth it in the long run. That if someone's willing to go through a lot to continue to care about you, they're loyal and will stick around when it turns out you really need them.
If someone is pushing their way in, let them. The people who want to be in your life are the people who should be there.
I'll add that to my list of "Advice that will get me killed at some point."
I think what Axel's trying to get at is that the people who put in a lot of effort for you are more worth it in the long run. That if someone's willing to go through a lot to continue to care about you, they're loyal and will stick around when it turns out you really need them.
Precisely. If you have to push to get someone to be in your life, they might not be worth it. But if they want to be around you no matter what, then they're the people you can count on during hard times.
Effort and creeping on someone don't have to be the same thing. If you have a friend who's always there to support you, always there when you need advice, is always up for hanging out when you just need company, and always does their best to see that you're happy and healthy, this is a devoted (perhaps in some people's minds, overly devoted/creepy) friend who you shouldn't take for granted and chances are they'll be there for you when no one else will be.
If someone is pushing their way in, let them. The people who want to be in your life are the people who should be there.
You're being very naive. Trusting people because they act like they like you and want to be around you often results in being taken advantage of. Discretion should be applied of course, but grimy people are the majority, so be careful.
If someone is pushing their way in, let them. The people who want to be in your life are the people who should be there.
You're being very naive. Trusting people because they act like they like you and want to be around you often results in being taken advantage of. Discretion should be applied of course, but grimy people are the majority, so be careful.
Perhaps. But if someone wants to be around you, there's probably a pretty good reason. Obviously, someone just trying to be your friend out nowhere is risky. But if they are providing general emotional support and being a helpful and reliable person, chances are they're worth letting in. The point is, if you were gonna seek support from someone, rather it be the person who is willing to give it than anyone else.
I think what Axel's trying to get at is that the people who put in a lot of effort for you are more worth it in the long run. That if someone's willing to go through a lot to continue to care about you, they're loyal and will stick around when it turns out you really need them.
I know, I'm just being an ass. It's harder for this to do that much harm - beyond the inevitable assholes who push their way in almost entirely to take advantage of you - without amazingly poor pattern recognition, bad luck, and a penchant for crazy people.
I think what Axel's trying to get at is that the people who put in a lot of effort for you are more worth it in the long run. That if someone's willing to go through a lot to continue to care about you, they're loyal and will stick around when it turns out you really need them.
I know, I'm just being an ass. It's harder for this to do that much harm - beyond the inevitable assholes who push their way in almost entirely to take advantage of you - without amazingly poor pattern recognition, bad luck, and a penchant for crazy people.
I agree there's a distinction of intent, but I was referring specifically to the people who do it out of real caring, even when it seems like tough-love. The lines blur sometimes, and often there are misconceptions and misinterpretations, so I can see how it's harmful to say "let anyone in if they push hard enough". That logic made me continue to be friends with someone who later told me he had regretted not raping me and how he wished to destroy both mine and my friend's lives so that I'd feel so broken I'd go back to Mr. Rape and have sex with him. Seriously fucked up people exist, and yeah, you're right, you have to learn the difference. But there are a lot of people that will just keep trying no matter what because they DO sincerely care that much. I guess my comment came from the fact that you can't take for granted the people who work hard because they want to really care, nor is it fair to automatically label someone as creepy or having misguided intentions if they really just want the best for you. So yeah, I agree, caution and discretion is good, automatic classification as crazy and creepy is not.
One of my judo senseis is deaf, and though I don't know any sign language, damned if he can't explain techniques better entirely through gestures than some of the senseis can with the benefit of words.
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Though I did notice that people were ganging up on Axel, as an observer, I couldn't help but get kinda peeved by his indignation. I don't have a particular opinion towards the subject, but the way he expressed (or didn't express) his point was aggravating, especially since he refused to defend his opinion when it was being challenged.
Sorry. Just had to get that out there.
Second time we've needed Huntyr's unerring advice in a single page.
On my current romantic front, nothing much has been happening. I've gone on a few dates, but haven't really found a spark with anyone in particular. However, some of those dates have led to awesome platonic friendship! Which is always a good thing.
Who knows? I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. Fuck me, though, I need some sleep...
So yeah, I agree, caution and discretion is good, automatic classification as crazy and creepy is not.
This, my friends, is what confidence looks like.
[Edit] Dude, he's got a ton for JoCo songs too. These are great.
BTW, that's probably the first song I've ever heard by Miley Cyrus.