One of my judo senseis is deaf, and though I don't know any sign language, damned if he can't explain techniques better entirely through gestures than some of the senseis can with the benefit of words.
I read this out of context and could only assume that you had some sort of incredibly romantic gay love interest.
I'm Pissed. Royally Pissed. The girl that said she needed time blocked me on facebook. I don't know when she did it, but I think it's safe to say she made up her mind.
I'm not upset that she's not interested, she has that right and I made it clear that I would be okay with it if she wasn't interested. I'm upset because there were about a dozen ways she could have just told me that she wasn't interested, but instead she chose this. I'm an easy going guy. I don't ask for much nor do I expect much. But I DO expect to be treated like a human being. You don't ignore someone hoping they go away; that's what you do to a stray dog. I want some god damned respect.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna confront her and give her a piece of my mind. I Will Not let her get out of answering me directly.
Be the bigger man and let it go. Confrontation probably won't end well.
Yeah, I might have come off as a bit abrasive, but in all seriousness, your ideals are no longer as respected by various higher powers as they once may have been. Unless you two wind up at the same party or something, don't push the issue. And if you do end up socially entrapped, well, play ball.
in all seriousness, your ideals are no longer as respected by various higher powers as they once may have been.
When did this happen? When did it become okay, when someone displays emotional interest in you, to leave them in the lurch?
Oh, you know what. I know. It's okay for women, but not for men. Because were supposed to be emotionless rocks and they're supposed to be the "delicate and sensitive" ones.
*sigh* My apologies, ladies of the forum. I'm not usually this bitter when it comes to rejection. I don't know what it is, but this really got under my skin. I thought, this once, it was going to work out. I really liked this girl and now I feel so...jilted. And you guys are probably right. I'll let it go.
It could be worse dude. I had asked out a girl that couldn't say no once. She suggested a double date with her friend, except only her friend showed up and I ended being the third wheel on a girls night out. At least your girl had the balls to not say yes when she really wasn't interested. ~_^
@Sonic: I'm actually on your side. I hate it when people aren't straight with me, and I think you SHOULD talk to her. But instead of being a double asshole about it (which would be cathartic in the moment), take the higher road and be all "Look, I can understand if you aren't interested in any sort of relationship, but you could have at least had the decency to tell me to my face instead of pulling some passive bullshit move on a social network. That's all. Have a nice day.........whore."
Look, I can understand if you aren't interested in any sort of relationship, but you could have at least had the decency to tell me to my face instead of pulling some passive bullshit move on a social network. That's all. Have a nice day....
This was really what I had in mind when I said I'd confront her. Well I'll see what happens today.
That is totally lame, Victor. I'm sorry to hear that BS happen.
Both suggestions of confronting or not confronting are solid, but if you feel the need to get some sort of closure then confront her.
Normally I would suggest something totally vindictive and cruel and say something along the lines of, "I'm happy that you did such a total bitch move and blocked me on Facebook. Just goes to show me how much of a waste of space and time you are and saved me the future hassle of dealing an insecure coward like yourself." However, I think GTMR's approach is classier.
Except that no, it's not okay when girls do it. Not any more than it is ok when guys do it. Avoid that shit like the plague once it has revealed itself. Don't buy into the gender role stereotypes.
Sorry to hear that, Sonic. The same thing happened to me with a guy. I was also angry too, cause it was kinda unexpected. But sometimes people are just immature like that.
Except that no, it's not okay when girls do it. Not any more than it is ok when guys do it. Avoid that shit like the plague once it has revealed itself. Don't buy into the gender role stereotypes.
Truth, sister!
If you do tell her off, do it politely. I think if you see her in class, just being honest and saying it hurt your feelings and that she should just tell a guy "No" next time is a good way to go. You get closure, you don't come off as a jerk, and you finish it up quickly and neatly and walk away.
It's done. We had a break in the class, so I asked if I could talk to her for a minute. Here is a semi-transcript of the ensuing conversation. m=me H=her
M: Sooo I saw that you blocked me on facebook. H: Yeah. M: You know, if you weren't interested, that's all you had to say. I'm a pretty mellow guy. It's not like I was going to burst into a fit of rage or anything. H: Yeah, but when you asked, I felt kind of pressured. M: Pressured? H: Yeah. It's like, you wanted an answer right away. M: *her name*, When you asked for some time to think about it, I told you I'd wait. I even told you that I'd be fine either way. I meant that. H: yeah, but... M: Look, my point is that you could have just told me you weren't interested. And, while blocking someone on facebook does send that message, I was still a little hurt that you didn't feel you could say it to me to my face. H: It's just, when you asked me, I didn't know what to do. I only saw you as a friend. M: *chuckle* Yeah, I get that a lot. H: You do? M: *sigh* you have no idea. *pause* H: Are we good? M: Yeah, *name*, We're good. So how are you feeling about the final next week...
If you do tell her off, do it politely. I think if you see her in class, just being honest and saying it hurt your feelings and that she should just tell a guy "No" next time is a good way to go. You get closure, you don't come off as a jerk, and you finish it up quickly and neatly and walk away.
Yeah, if she gets yelled at it will probably just make her even MORE afraid of confrontation, and she will continue to do this to others. If she gets an honest-yet-reasonable explanation from you in a kind way, it might make her feel a little more comfortable with talking to the next guy. Not saying you HAVE to care about the next guy, but if you want to help rid the world of this kind of BS, making confrontation less scary is the first step.
Comments
- Resident-Evil Girl ditched me since last i talked about her, and then talked to me today. She has a boyfriend and apologized for leading me on.
- Interesting-Hair Girl (someone I didn't talk about here) also ditched me after a day. I swear she's actively avoiding me :P
- Physics Girl stopped talking to me, too.
But, I'm over my ex, which means I'm actually happy now. I think in an odd way she helped. I'm just glad I'm done being sad and hopeless.I'm not upset that she's not interested, she has that right and I made it clear that I would be okay with it if she wasn't interested. I'm upset because there were about a dozen ways she could have just told me that she wasn't interested, but instead she chose this. I'm an easy going guy. I don't ask for much nor do I expect much. But I DO expect to be treated like a human being. You don't ignore someone hoping they go away; that's what you do to a stray dog. I want some god damned respect.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna confront her and give her a piece of my mind. I Will Not let her get out of answering me directly.
Oh, you know what. I know. It's okay for women, but not for men. Because were supposed to be emotionless rocks and they're supposed to be the "delicate and sensitive" ones.
*sigh* My apologies, ladies of the forum. I'm not usually this bitter when it comes to rejection. I don't know what it is, but this really got under my skin. I thought, this once, it was going to work out. I really liked this girl and now I feel so...jilted. And you guys are probably right. I'll let it go.
Well I'll see what happens today.
Both suggestions of confronting or not confronting are solid, but if you feel the need to get some sort of closure then confront her.
Normally I would suggest something totally vindictive and cruel and say something along the lines of, "I'm happy that you did such a total bitch move and blocked me on Facebook. Just goes to show me how much of a waste of space and time you are and saved me the future hassle of dealing an insecure coward like yourself." However, I think GTMR's approach is classier.
Except that no, it's not okay when girls do it. Not any more than it is ok when guys do it. Avoid that shit like the plague once it has revealed itself. Don't buy into the gender role stereotypes.
If you do tell her off, do it politely. I think if you see her in class, just being honest and saying it hurt your feelings and that she should just tell a guy "No" next time is a good way to go. You get closure, you don't come off as a jerk, and you finish it up quickly and neatly and walk away.
m=me H=her
M: Sooo I saw that you blocked me on facebook.
H: Yeah.
M: You know, if you weren't interested, that's all you had to say. I'm a pretty mellow guy. It's not like I was going to burst into a fit of rage or anything.
H: Yeah, but when you asked, I felt kind of pressured.
M: Pressured?
H: Yeah. It's like, you wanted an answer right away.
M: *her name*, When you asked for some time to think about it, I told you I'd wait. I even told you that I'd be fine either way. I meant that.
H: yeah, but...
M: Look, my point is that you could have just told me you weren't interested. And, while blocking someone on facebook does send that message, I was still a little hurt that you didn't feel you could say it to me to my face.
H: It's just, when you asked me, I didn't know what to do. I only saw you as a friend.
M: *chuckle* Yeah, I get that a lot.
H: You do?
M: *sigh* you have no idea.
*pause*
H: Are we good?
M: Yeah, *name*, We're good. So how are you feeling about the final next week...
And that was that.