Are We?

Victor Frost

For the first time ever, me asking a girl out on a date worked out, but not how you'd think.
At Mikomicon, I won a pair of tickets to go see Death Note 2 (Dubbed, Live action). So today I followed a gut feeling and asked a girl out. I don't know much about her but we play cards before the teacher gets there.
Me: Hey, I've got a question for you: Do you like movies?
Her: Yeah.
Me: Well, I won a pair of tickets to this movie screening on the 16th, and I was wondering if you'd be interested in going with me?
Then things went sour.
Her: Oh no...
Me: Uh oh. Do you?...
Her: Yeah, I'm sorry.
Then there was a back and forth apology of her apologizing to me, and me apologizing for not asking.
Well, her friend asked what movie it was and I told them. Turns out they are both into anime. So it seems my gut got a memo that read as such:

"Hello Victors Gut, We have an intuition for you to follow. See that girl? Yeah her. Ask her out. It seems She's into anime (don't tell Victor), and she's actually a really nice person. Oh wait, she has a *end transmission*"

But an ancillary benefit came out of it; The girl who asked which movie it was, said "If you don't find someone else to go with you, I'd love to go!"
So now I have a date.
And it seemed the universe knows this somehow, because on the way to the parking lot where I was being picked up, A squirrel climbed up my back and rode on my shoulder. The birds seemed chirpier too. I bet if I had waited long enough, me and at least a dozen other people would have broken out in a musical chorus complete with complicated dance routine and omnipresent background music.

Exaggeration aside (the squirrel part actually happened though), What do I do now? I don't have a car, so, what? Do I just meet here there? Do I bring something to give her?
On an aside, there was this other girl who I know much more about than this girl. If this date goes well, is it okay for me to ask that other girl out too?
I have no idea how to proceed. Help me, wiser, older, more experienced ones. Your my only hope. *hologram flickers out*

Rochelle

Call her to talk about transportation details. The fact you don't have a car isn't a bad thing. If she has a car and offers to drive, tell her you'll pay for popcorn and what not. If she doesn't drive and live near you, maybe you guys can meet up and either walk there or take public transportation. If that doesn't work, just meet her there.

I don't think you should bring anything like flowers, just offer to pay for candy and that should be fine.

(I could help but smile and feel excited for you as I read your post. It was pretty cute.)

Omnutia

And now we wait for everything to go wrong. Sonic contracts rabies from the squirrel, the tape accidentally gets cut with legend of the overfiend, etc..

Churba

I know it sounds stupid, but just chill, dude. Be yourself. Don't worry about if she grooves to you or not, if she doesn't, hey, you have a new friend, hopefully, and if she does, well my old son, you're winning!

Also, to expand on what Ro said, Be a gentleman. Offer to pay, hold doors where you can, don't drink too much, and don't swear too much, even if she does.

Last of all - Don't go into it with any expectations. She might not see it as a date - she might see it as "Cute guy has tickets to Death Note 2. Cute guy is Cute. Bonus, he is, far as I know, personable. Let's see how things go, and play it by ear." Hell, she might even be on another forum herself asking "This georgeous dark haired geek asked me to go to a showing of death note 2 - What do I do?"

Now, as for the other girl, well, I'd keep that one in your top pocket, so to speak. If the date goes well, then it would probably be pretty uncouth to ask the other girl out. However, provided these two girls are not connected, then it would be acceptable to ask her out if your previous date goes badly. Do not at any point mention the above point to either of the girls.

CHOIS CHOIS CHOIS

Is this your first date? Lucky!

Viga

Be yourself. You're already a charismatic guy. Be nice to her and offer to pay for some candy or popcorn. If neither of you have a car why not bus it or walk it. That can also be conversation time to get to know her. Maybe there will a spark!

Churba

Maybe there will a spark!

And then your X-box will transform and kill you.

Erwin

Be this guy:

Viga

Actually, that would probably be good cosplay for you.

Erwin

He is the only one that can pull a white hair like that :P

Rochelle

What Churba said. I wanted to add more to my post, but the debates were close at hand. Anyways, good luck on your date. Let us know what happens.

Oh yeah, if you were thinking about getting her flowers, you should bring Pocky instead. That could be the anime fan girl equivalent to flowers. ^_~

Churba

That could be the anime fan girl equivalent to flowers. ^_~

Tastes better, too. Downside - Flowers are somewhat less addictive than crack. Pocky, not so much.

Victor Frost

Maybe there will a spark!

And then your X-box will transform and kill you.

Haha, both a transformers joke and a webcomic joke. Very cool.

Actually, that would probably be good cosplay for you.

Next anime con, totally.

That could be the anime fan girl equivalent to flowers. ^_~

Tastes better, too. Downside - Flowers are somewhat less addictive than crack. Pocky, not so much.

Heh, I could be her sugar daddy, literally.

To clarify, although she said what she said, I've yet to formally ask her out. So, since my next class with her is on Tuesday, I've got plenty of time to chill.

Is this your first date? Lucky!

Yeah, I know. Honestly, I was thinking this day would never come. Alas, Lady Luck has rolled her dice in my favor and, oh, the wonder of it all.

MrRoboto

Don't stare at her boobs, mouth, ass, hips.

LISTEN and ENGAGE in conversation, not just "huh", "yeah", etc.

Don't be needy or over anxious.

Smile, a lot.

Churba

To clarify, although she said what she said, I've yet to formally ask her out. So, since my next class with her is on Tuesday, I've got plenty of time to chill.

A good opportunity to hang out on neutral turf, mate. Rock up after class and see if she wants to go and grab a cup of tea or something, hang out. You know, get to know her before you head out to the showing.

Kate Monster

On an aside, there was this other girl who I know much more about than this girl. If this date goes well, is it okay for me to ask that other girl out too?

If your date goes well with the first girl, then you should ask the first girl out again. If it doesn't go well or several dates in it stops going well, then ask girl #2 out. Follow one situation to its conclusion, then begin another. You do not want to lead either of them on, and you could end up blowing a good situation if you grasp for another.

TheWhaleShark

Don't stare at her boobs, mouth, ass, hips.

LISTEN and ENGAGE in conversation, not just "huh", "yeah", etc.

Don't be needy or over anxious.

Smile, a lot.

Don't overthink things. Just go with the flow and act naturally. Don't try; just be.

Unless you're a creepy stalker or something. In that case, be someone else.

EDIT: DO NOT try to date two girls at once. Odds are pretty good that you'll just wind up screwing things up with both of them.

Omnutia

Informing one of them, in no uncertain terms, that you just want to be friends and hang out before telling the other you want to date them is advisable, as is leaving a gap between doing so. In addition, if you get turned down by the one you ask to date you, wait between a fortnight and a month before asking the other.

Rym

Informing one of them in no uncertain terms that you just want to be friends and hang out before telling the other you want to date them is advisable. In addition, if you get turned down by the one you ask to date you, between a fortnight and a month before asking the other.

Nah. Don't even think on that level. Just do and live and hang out and have fun. If you commit to a relationship, that's one thing, but asking people out on dates is no different than asking people to do anything social. If you like two girls, just hang out with both of them as the opportunity presents, just like you do with all of your other friends.

If it's a "date" just because you're spending time with someone you like who happens to be of the opposite (or the same, depending on your tastes) sex, then I "dated" a few dozen women in college. ^_~

Omnutia

But by that logic you've been in a long term relationship with Scott for some time.. oh, wait.
I thought a date was determined by what kind of things you did and how you act when you're together. I must investigate further if I am to make sure the humans do not suspect my disguise..

Rym

I thought a date was determined by what kind of things you did and how you act when you're together.

Lots of the things I've done with female friends had all of the trappings of "dates." I just don't really make the distinction. Is it a "date" just because we watched Transformers together overnight? How about because we went out to get some food at three in the morning? Saw a play? Played Soul Calibur all night? Went for a drive? Is doing laundry together more or less of a "date" than getting dinner?

Does flirting make it a date? If so, then I've dated just about everyone I know.

I've found that calling it a "date" and then treating it differently or acting differently is generally a silly idea. Of course, I also feel that trying to "date" someone shouldn't be any different than simply trying to be their friend. If you separate your romantic interests from your friendship interests, you're doing it wrong.

Andrew

Does flirting make it a date? If so, then I've dated just about everyone I know.

Key Phrase here: "everyone I know", not every girl I know.

Erwin

Oh, I forgot ... be yourself
and don't do this, is the only thing I think Golgo was wrong in doing:

gomidog

Lots of the things I've done with female friends had all of the trappings of "dates." I just don't really make the distinction. Is it a "date" just because we watched Transformers together overnight? How about because we went out to get some food at three in the morning? Saw a play? Played Soul Calibur all night? Went for a drive? Is doing laundry together more or less of a "date" than getting dinner?

Does flirting make it a date? If so, then I've dated just about everyone I know.

I've found that calling it a "date" and then treating it differently or acting differently is generally a silly idea. Of course, I also feel that trying to "date" someone shouldn't be any different than simply trying to be their friend. If you separate your romantic interests from your friendship interests, you're doing it wrong.

Quoted for awesome truth. Play it cool, boy, and things will be great! Try hanging out, and talking, and then maybe someday it will develop into smooching and stuff. Don't over think it. You've got a good sense of humor, just be like how you are on geekchat.

Sail

Rym, you are most wise.

And please be careful about the images you post. Now I care because I read the forums from school and really don't want to get in trouble for Golgo 13, as hilarious as it is. I assume people who are at work feel the same way.

gomidog

I know, right? I read the forums at work, and my boss sits right behind me. I was embarrassed by the Golgo sucker punching nekkid chick.

Diddgery

I read the forums at school sometimes, too, but I don't really think it's a huuuge problem. I mean, I read Watchmen at school, there's nudity in that (giant blue nudity). I read Phoenix at school, also some nudity. It's all good as long as nobody asks about it. :P Though I suppose it's much easier to see a computer screen than it is to see a panel in a comic someone's reading...

All of this advice is pretty awesome. I have not really tried pursuing any sort of "intimate" relationship with my friends of the opposite gender, mainly because at this point I don't have any interest in doing so, but I'll keep this all in mind for later use.

HungryJoe

What do I do now? I don't have a car, so, what? Do I just meet here there? Do I bring something to give her?

Can you rent a car? Better yet, can you rent a motorcycle?

Erwin

Rym, you are most wise.

And please be careful about the images you post. Now I care because I read the forums from school and really don't want to get in trouble for Golgo 13, as hilarious as it is. I assume people who are at work feel the same way.

Uups, sorry guys. I will be more careful from now on, should I put a link to the picture?

BadDeacon

Finally, something on this forum I actually know something about.

So now I have a date.

Sweet! Dates are rad.

Exaggeration aside (the squirrel part actually happened though), What do I do now?

Like others have said, chill. Clearly she wanted to go with you, so you are already off to a good start.

I don't have a car, so, what? Do I just meet here there?

You could meet there, or you could meet somewhere close and get a cup of tea or coffee or something like that beforehand. Don't worry about not having a car.

Do I bring something to give her?

NO. Just bring your charming self.

On an aside, there was this other girl who I know much more about than this girl. If this date goes well, is it okay for me to ask that other girl out too?

Yes. It is ok. In fact, it is a good thing to do. Going on a date is no big deal. Date many women!

I have no idea how to proceed. Help me, wiser, older, more experienced ones. Your my only hope. *hologram flickers out*

Other people have given good advice, and I don't know how far to go with this, but here's how you should proceed. The very first thing to do when you see her is to make a quick little joke about something. Anything. Get her to laugh, smile, and generally feel good. Give her a hug too. If she gives you a lame hug, tell her to give you a real hug. You want to break the "touch barrier" right off the bat.

Then just relax and have fun. Be yourself, and make sure you do that in a confident, charming way.

Vhdblood

On an aside, there was this other girl who I know much more about than this girl. If this date goes well, is it okay for me to ask that other girl out too?

Yes. It is ok. In fact, it is a good thing to do. Going on a date is no big deal. Date many women!

Just about everything everyone has said here is great advice, but I do have a few issues with this one. I know what Rym said and all that jazz, but I think you need to read her. If she genuinely seems interested, there's a good chance she'd be a bit jealous if her friend went on a date with you, and would probably get the idea that you don't like her. Granted, if you don't like her, by all means ask her friend on a date.

Also Sonic, how old are these girls and you (I have no idea how to correctly form that sentence in the way that I want it. Anyone wanna tell me what it's supposed to look like?) It really makes a difference when making a call such as the one above. Just a few years can have a radically different answer.