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Fail of Your Day

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  • edited December 2009
    There. Happy story. Change and everything.
    I forgot, you also need convict. Not that it can't have a happy ending.
    I think you mean conflict, so I will point out that there was conflict. It is the equivalent of the man vs. man literary conflict. It's dog vs. dog. Internal conflict of emotional baggage vs new family that eventually resolves in a happy way.
    Post edited by Nuri on
  • In an update to a recent FOTD:
    The Manga Guide to Anal Masturbation for Guys has reached #3 on Amazon Japan.
    I guess it would make sense to buy that on amazon. No weird looks in the bookstore.
  • I prefer to buy my controversial materials in person and stare the clerk in the eye while they are ringing me up.

    Besides, if you're worried about people finding out, an anonymous store clerk isn't really going to be a big deal. If you pay for it in cash, it's not traceable to you. Credit card purchases online are traceable.
  • Besides, if you're worried about people finding out, an anonymous store clerk isn't really going to be a big deal. If you pay for it in cash, it's not traceable to you. Credit card purchases online are traceable.
    But when it's nothing illegal and only your dignity is at stake, online stores are superior!

    That sounded like Scott Rubin in my head, ewwwww...

    And now for the epic to this post of fail, the unemployment map.
  • I bet it is all hardcore yaoi fangirls wanting to watch. Ookie.
  • I bet it is all hardcore yaoi fangirls wanting to watch. Ookie.
    That thought is more than a little disturbing.
  • It is the equivalent of the man vs. man literary conflict. It's dog vs. dog.
    So, you're saying it's a dog-eat-dog world out there? ^_~
  • Why does every dog story have to be sad? Why can't someone write a story like, "There was this dude who had a dog. They were good friends and they were happy together. Every now and then they'd go to the park and hang out, where they were even happier. THE END."
    Because stories where there are no changes aren't really stories.
    Okay. How about this:

    "There was this dude who had a dog. They were good friends and they were happy together. Every now and then they'd go to the park and hang out, where they were even happier.

    Dude had a wife. One day when they were in the park, some teabaggers were protesting along with those God-Hates-Fags idiots. They all got into a fight and accidentally hurt dude's wife. Now, dude and his dog roam the countryside exacting revenge upon teabaggers and God-Hates-Fags idiots."
  • Dude had a wife. One day when they were in the park, some teabaggers were protesting along with those God-Hates-Fags idiots. They all got into a fight and accidentally hurt dude's wife. Now, dude and his dog roam the countryside exacting revenge upon teabaggers and God-Hates-Fags idiots."
    Go on...
  • Not that this is actually a serious discussion about story structure or anything, but this is a fun video where story structure is explained by Jack Black. As the Story Wizard.
  • edited December 2009
    Dude had a wife. One day when they were in the park, some teabaggers were protesting along with those God-Hates-Fags idiots. They all got into a fight and accidentally hurt dude's wife. Now, dude and his dog roam the countryside exacting revenge upon teabaggers and God-Hates-Fags idiots."
    Go on...
    Dude eschews firearms in his crazed revenge, opting for edged weapons so he can be more like his canine pal. He favors a bowie knife, a pair of sais, and a katana while his buddy relies on his fangs. Seeing some room for improvement, dude takes some dental classes and fashions a set of razor sharp "fronts" for his pal's teeth. Teabaggers say that the teeth modifications are too "caustic", but dude doesn't care.

    Together they hack and slash teabaggers all over this great land. The streets and parks become filled with the blood of a thousand idiots. No one has to move the goalposts anymore because they slide on their own in a sea of gore.
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • If this crusader was Cory Doctorow and this story a comic book, I would give a paycheck for a copy.
  • Together they hack and slash teabaggers all over this great land. The streets and parks become filled with the blood of a thousand idiots. No one has to move the goalposts anymore because they slide on their own in a sea of gore.
    This is sounding less like a a feel-good movie involving dogs and more like a twisted power fantasy.
  • Together they hack and slash teabaggers all over this great land. The streets and parks become filled with the blood of a thousand idiots. No one has to move the goalposts anymore because they slide on their own in a sea of gore.
    This is sounding less like a a feel-good movie involving dogs and more like a twisted power fantasy.
    Well, the power fantasy makes me feel good, so it's still a feel- good story.
  • edited December 2009
    Together they hack and slash teabaggers all over this great land. The streets and parks become filled with the blood of a thousand idiots. No one has to move the goalposts anymore because they slide on their own in a sea of gore.
    This is sounding less like a a feel-good movie involving dogs and more like a twisted power fantasy.
    How's this:

    A lonely man wakes up to find dog at door. Dog takes immediate interest in man, but is cold and hungry. After petting the dog for a while as he warms himself by the fire, the man goes to his fridge to find food for the pup, but realizes that the fridge is empty. He puts the dog on a leash and they go off in search of food. After a series of hilarious capers involving pirates, a zany scientist, and an angry mob (among others), the man and his dog finally reach the market, where the man buys a nice steak for his dog and an slab of bluefin tuna for himself. Upon returning home, they both settle down in front of the fire and each enjoy their raw foods, and each falls asleep next to his new best friend.
    Post edited by WindUpBird on
  • That's nice. Why can't Pixar do a nice story like that instead of stories calculated to make people cry?
  • That's nice. Why can't Pixar do a nice story like that instead of stories calculated to make people cry?
    You mean like the original Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc., Cars, Ratatouille, and a bug's life?
  • edited December 2009
    All of those movies made me cry. Actually, all of those movies were shown in theaters where things flew into my eyes and made my eye water. WindUpBird's movie would be better than all of those movies put together if he added in some Terminators and a Predator.
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • The zany scientist builds hunting androids powered by steam dynamos.
  • Okay, this deserves a double post. I was just informed that a friend from high school presently enrolled in the Naval Academy as a freshman will be shipping out to Afghanistan under the new troop surge. He doesn't know when, he doesn't know for how long, he just knows that he's going.

    Mr. President, I am disappoint.
  • You mean like the original Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc., Cars, Ratatouille, and a bug's life?
    I cried at the beginning of Nemo, a couple parts of Monsters Inc. near the end, Cars when they showed the town fading over the years, and Ratatouille at numerous points for no good reason other than that it was really good. Of course, I cry at weird things like the Lilo and Stitch trailer, the wolf and goat movie On a Stormy Night, and numerous books, so I should not be used as a good example. I'm usually not a crybaby, but I can get really emotionally involved in entertainment and stories, and have one of those nice, feel good cries.
    That's nice. Why can't Pixar do a nice story like that instead of stories calculated to make people cry?
    Because John Lasseter has said straight up that his goal in life is to make people cry their eyes out with his movies and then get happy. He really likes yanking on the heartstrings. I want to grow up to make people cry at movies, just like him!
  • I'm usually not a crybaby, but I can get really emotionally involved in entertainment and stories, and have one of those nice, feel good cries.
    It's ok, it's because you have a uterus...

    *hides*
  • edited December 2009
    That's hysterical~! I'm hysterical~!

    My dad cries at the end of Beauty and the Beast, so I figure it's genetic.
    Post edited by gomidog on
  • Because John Lasseter has said straight up that his goal in life is to make people cry their eyes out with his movies and then get happy.
    Do you have a link for this? I'm not challenging you or anything, I just want to show it to my wife to prove that those movies are calculated to make people cry.
  • I remember reading an article where he talked about that, but all I could find right away was this quote.
    We make the kind of movies we want to see, we love to laugh, but I also believe what Walt Disney said 'for every laugh there should be a tear'. I love movies that make me cry, because they're tapping into a real emotion in me, and I always think afterwards 'how did they do that?
  • My dad cries at the end of Beauty and the Beast, so I figure it's genetic.
    Mine does, too. And my mom, but she cries at eeeeeeeeeeeverything. Natalie also cries at Beauty and the Beast. I guess it tugs at you if you can relate to loving someone that much.

    Just wondering, what was it in Arashi no Yoru ni that made you cry? :P
  • I shed a single man tear at the end of Up.
  • I studied from 5 PM until 2 AM for the calc test I just took. The test ended up being 9 questions long...for 20% of my grade and 100pts. A huge amount of material I studied (two entire sections worth) just straight-up was not on the test, and there were two integral I had almost no idea how to do. I likewise made at least one error (regarding the bounds) in setting up an integral for a solid of rotation. I'm probably looking at an 80%, 85% if I'm lucky.

    This, combined with another exam tomorrow and the rapid onset of winter, means I am literally feeling all the stress on top of me. My skin has been crawling since 11 last night.
  • Chin up Bird! We're rooting for you! We all know how tough this time of year can be at school. After another couple of weeks of stress, you'll have a nice break. Try to look forward to that.
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