YouTube is going wonky. It took three attempts to upload a video, and now it is taking ages to process. And I really wanted to show this video to someone tonight!
I don't know what kind of work you're doing, but have you ever considered using something like Dropbox? I use it for my work files, so it's constantly backing up every time I save -- and it also saves every revision for something like three weeks with the free version, forever if you pay. It's saved my ass multiple times when I've accidentally deleted (and then saved) huge chunks of a page I'm drawing.
So I finally gathered up the courage to express my feelings to a girl I've liked for a really long time. As I expected, she did not feel the same way at all. It's nice to get that off my chest, but now it just feels like I got kicked in the nuts. Especially when we spent most of the night talking about these other guys she doesn't know at all that she expects to have sex with at some point. Just another case of my brain knowing the way of the world, but my gut doesn't want to fucking accept it.
And, of course, this leads me right back to where I was a couple years ago, feeling like I'm fucking worthless as a person and there is something horribly wrong with me. I know full well that there is not a single person I've ever met who would say that I'm anything but a nice guy, intelligent, and some would say funny. Yet I am 24 years old and a virgin. It's not like I've never done anything, I just haven't gotten all the way yet, or had a girlfriend whatsoever for that matter. I know I'm saying too much, and you guys probably don't care, but fuck it, I'm in a bad place and I need to tell someone.
It's just... really hard you know? Assuming you're a guy, you meet a girl, right? You really connect with her, you find her easy to talk to and interesting, the way she looks at you makes you feel like she sees you in the same way. But, you have a problem, cause she's already got a boyfriend. But you don't really care about that, since you don't know what their relationship is like, in fact, upon first glance it doesn't seem they get along very well at all. So you keep on flirting over the next couple of weeks, just to see if there's a little gap you wedge into. But nothing happens, so you stop being so overt about it, and just wait and see, continue to poke where you can. And over the course of a year and more, it seems like your tactics are working to some degree. She snuggles with you when her boyfriend decides not to come out that night. She goes with you on weekend trips where you share a room and a bed. She goes out to eat and drink with you and it's just the two of you, chatting it up and having fun. And through it all you see the relationship she has with her boyfriend crumble away until, finally, they split up. You don't know if she knows what you're thinking, but all of your friends do, and you know that over the course of that year, you have been told countless times what a great couple you make. You agree with them. So then you finally ask. And she says no.
Fuck.
TL;DR - I'm sad and depressed, but most likely it'll be gone by the morning.
So I finally gathered up the courage to express my feelings to a girl I've liked for a really long time. As I expected, she did not feel the same way at all. It's nice to get that off my chest, but now it just feels like I got kicked in the nuts. Especially when we spent most of the night talking about these other guys she doesn't know at all that she expects to have sex with at some point. Just another case of my brain knowing the way of the world, but my gut doesn't want to fucking accept it.
And, of course, this leads me right back to where I was a couple years ago, feeling like I'm fucking worthless as a person and there is something horribly wrong with me. I know full well that there is not a single person I've ever met who would say that I'm anything but a nice guy, intelligent, and some would say funny. Yet I am 24 years old and a virgin. It's not like I've never done anything, I just haven't gotten all the way yet, or had a girlfriend whatsoever for that matter. I know I'm saying too much, and you guys probably don't care, but fuck it, I'm in a bad place and I need to tellsomeone.
It's just... really hard you know? Assuming you're a guy, you meet a girl, right? You really connect with her, you find her easy to talk to and interesting, the way she looks at you makes you feel like she sees you in the same way. But, you have a problem, cause she's already got a boyfriend. But you don't really care about that, since you don't know what their relationship is like, in fact, upon first glance it doesn't seem they get along very well at all. So you keep on flirting over the next couple of weeks, just to see if there's a little gap you wedge into. But nothing happens, so you stop being so overt about it, and just wait and see, continue to poke where you can. And over the course of a year and more, it seems like your tactics are working to some degree. She snuggles with you when her boyfriend decides not to come out that night. She goes with you on weekend trips where you share a room and a bed. She goes out to eat and drink with you and it's just the two of you, chatting it up and having fun. And through it all you see the relationship she has with her boyfriend crumble away until, finally, they split up. You don't know if she knows what you're thinking, but all of your friends do, and you know that over the course of that year, you have been told countless times what a great couple you make. You agree with them. So then you finally ask. And she says no.
Fuck.
TL;DR - I'm sad and depressed, but most likely it'll be gone by the morning.
I am totally feeling your pain right now. I'm going to pour myself a drink and toast to your chances.
@ theknoxinator - I know the feeling. I am in a similar position with women, save I'm 31 and my looks are going. Chin up, brother. Life is too fucking short to let those thoughts rule you. I'm a hypocrite in a way by saying that but you have to say things if you want to believe them.
I am totally feeling your pain right now. I'm going to pour myself a drink and toast to your chances.
Thirded. Life's hard, y'know? Too many women out there say they want a good man but when a good man asks them out they turn him down flat and go back to their guys who treat them like crap. The flipside goes as well; lots of guys out there looking for the right woman, who could be right there in front of them, but they never notice because the lady doesn't turn up on their radar and the girl is too shy to make the first move. Relationships are a bitch to get started and even harder to keep going.
So I finally gathered up the courage to express my feelings to a girl I've liked for a really long time. As I expected, she did not feel the same way at all.
I've done this. I bet a lot of us have. I'm glad I did it. I would be more regretful about not having done it, and that makes all the difference.
...it seems like your tactics are working to some degree. She snuggles with you... She goes with you on weekend trips where you share a room and a bed. She goes out to eat and drink with you and it's just the two of you, chatting it up and having fun.
You do realize that these are just things friends do, right? You just described my relationship with most of the ladies I know. I'm certainly not dating all of them. It's not some "tactic" to get into a relationship. It's just what good friends do.
Too many women out there say they want a good man but when a good man asks them out they turn him down flat and go back to their guys who treat them like crap.
It's not as true as you think, that's just the perception. "Good" is relative. If you were turned down, then you weren't "good" for her, another complex person with her own complex motivations. Looking at relationships from your own perspective ("she should date me") is the absolute worst way to go about it. How about, "what does she want?"
Too many people confuse friendship with romantic interest. If you're really "just a friend," then you never really had any chance in the first place. If you "always" find yourself in this sort of situation, then you're likely confusing normal friendship with something more. Are you possibly just falling for any girl who's friendly toward you? It's a harsh question, but an illuminating one.
Hanging around hoping she'll "see the light" and date you is just this:
1) If you like someone, try to be friends with them. 2) If you are friends with someone, and you like them romantically, tell them and see what happens. 3) If you are not friends with someone, and you think you might like them romantically if you got to know them, try to be friends with them. Then go to step 2. 4) If you are not friends with someone, and you believe you truly do like them romantically despite not knowing them, you are either going to fail or are seeking sex/romance rather than a relationship. Bear that in mind, and godpeed to you. Expect trouble, and don't play a passive role. 5) Ignore all societal convention about who, how, when, and why you can date.
Especially when we spent most of the night talking about these other guys she doesn't know at all that she expects to have sex with at some point.
This particular sentence leads me to believe at least part of your problem might not be with women in general, but with your choice in women. Why the hell are you going after some chick who aspires to fuck guys she doesn't know yet? This does not seem like an intelligent or mature person.
Especially when we spent most of the night talking about these other guys she doesn't know at all that she expects to have sex with at some point.
This particular sentence leads me to believe at least part of your problem might not be with women in general, but with your choice in women. Why the hell are you going after some chick who aspires to fuck guys she doesn't know yet? This does not seem like an intelligent or mature person.
Girl wants to boff guys she doesn't know well who are probably jerks/outlaw bikers. Hence, be an emotionally distant jerk and boff and do not expect a long-term relationship.
Girl wants to boff guys she doesn't know well who are probably jerks/outlaw bikers. Hence, be an emotionally distant jerk and boff and do not expect a long-term relationship.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....It's Ladder theory time again!
Seriously though, Are you in the US and not in Alaska, women OUTNUMBER YOU. There is always another geeky girl out there who potentially will like you, you live in a time where there are actually A LOT of geeky girls, they are coming out of the woodwork. If that girl turned you down there are probably 100's of other girls that are similar for you to find.
Girl wants to boff guys she doesn't know well who are probably jerks/outlaw bikers. Hence, be an emotionally distant jerk and boff and do not expect a long-term relationship.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....It's Ladder theory time again!
Seriously though, Are you in the US and not in Alaska, women OUTNUMBER YOU. There is always another geeky girl out there who potentially will like you, you live in a time where there are actually A LOT of geeky girls, they are coming out of the woodwork. If that girl turned you down there are probably 100's of other girls that are similar for you to find.
Thanks for the support guys. After my initial reactions, I do feel better about the whole situation now. To answer some questions:
Why the hell are you going after some chick who aspires to fuck guys she doesn't know yet? This does not seem like an intelligent or mature person.
Mostly because I've known this girl for over a year, but she never revealed this aspect of herself until earlier this week. In retrospect, my confession was really just reactionary to this new information, and it was admittedly really stupid to do in that situation. Regardless, my opinion of her has dropped this week.
Are you possibly just falling for any girl who's friendly toward you? It's a harsh question, but an illuminating one.
And a very astute one, cause that was pretty much the case here. It's not like I fall for any girl who is nice to me, but in this case, it is the reason I continued to be interested. I freely admit that I let myself get sucked into this situation because it was easy for me to just let it happen, and as you say, a lot of those things we've done are things that normal friends do. It's just that, right now, I don't have any other female friends who do. Fact of the matter is, I'm fucking lazy, and as such, I deserve what I get for what I put into it. I just let myself get trapped the same way I did during college, just in a different way this time. I'm more upset at myself than anything else.
Also Knox, hopefully you can make some new friends that are girls at PAX! ^___~
When it comes to my friends, both male and female, I always quote Jay-Z, "If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems, but the bitch ain't one." Seems like that girl would be causing a lot of problems in a relationship. So feel lucky that it really didn't work out.
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Programs with obscure required arguments..
And, of course, this leads me right back to where I was a couple years ago, feeling like I'm fucking worthless as a person and there is something horribly wrong with me. I know full well that there is not a single person I've ever met who would say that I'm anything but a nice guy, intelligent, and some would say funny. Yet I am 24 years old and a virgin. It's not like I've never done anything, I just haven't gotten all the way yet, or had a girlfriend whatsoever for that matter. I know I'm saying too much, and you guys probably don't care, but fuck it, I'm in a bad place and I need to tell someone.
It's just... really hard you know? Assuming you're a guy, you meet a girl, right? You really connect with her, you find her easy to talk to and interesting, the way she looks at you makes you feel like she sees you in the same way. But, you have a problem, cause she's already got a boyfriend. But you don't really care about that, since you don't know what their relationship is like, in fact, upon first glance it doesn't seem they get along very well at all. So you keep on flirting over the next couple of weeks, just to see if there's a little gap you wedge into. But nothing happens, so you stop being so overt about it, and just wait and see, continue to poke where you can. And over the course of a year and more, it seems like your tactics are working to some degree. She snuggles with you when her boyfriend decides not to come out that night. She goes with you on weekend trips where you share a room and a bed. She goes out to eat and drink with you and it's just the two of you, chatting it up and having fun. And through it all you see the relationship she has with her boyfriend crumble away until, finally, they split up. You don't know if she knows what you're thinking, but all of your friends do, and you know that over the course of that year, you have been told countless times what a great couple you make. You agree with them. So then you finally ask. And she says no.
Fuck.
TL;DR - I'm sad and depressed, but most likely it'll be gone by the morning.
Too many people confuse friendship with romantic interest. If you're really "just a friend," then you never really had any chance in the first place. If you "always" find yourself in this sort of situation, then you're likely confusing normal friendship with something more. Are you possibly just falling for any girl who's friendly toward you? It's a harsh question, but an illuminating one.
Hanging around hoping she'll "see the light" and date you is just this:
1) If you like someone, try to be friends with them.
2) If you are friends with someone, and you like them romantically, tell them and see what happens.
3) If you are not friends with someone, and you think you might like them romantically if you got to know them, try to be friends with them. Then go to step 2.
4) If you are not friends with someone, and you believe you truly do like them romantically despite not knowing them, you are either going to fail or are seeking sex/romance rather than a relationship. Bear that in mind, and godpeed to you. Expect trouble, and don't play a passive role.
5) Ignore all societal convention about who, how, when, and why you can date.
"That is fantastic news! Thank you for putting in the long hours to get this done.
Now you can be our Oracle 11g expert!
Now you can be our Oracle 11g expert!
AHHHHHHHHHHH! DO NOT WANT!!!
:P
Seriously though, Are you in the US and not in Alaska, women OUTNUMBER YOU. There is always another geeky girl out there who potentially will like you, you live in a time where there are actually A LOT of geeky girls, they are coming out of the woodwork. If that girl turned you down there are probably 100's of other girls that are similar for you to find.
When it comes to my friends, both male and female, I always quote Jay-Z, "If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems, but the bitch ain't one." Seems like that girl would be causing a lot of problems in a relationship. So feel lucky that it really didn't work out.
Also, get that guy a ticket to a theocracy.. *Further watching.* ..erm.. make that reality.