Some people don't want to be helped, and some people must be allowed to fail.
THIS. Fucking... this. I can't possibly relay to you how many friends I've tried to help out of similar situations, and they ALL, without FAIL, don't listen to a WORD that I/you say. Accept the brutal truth that you can't change a damn thing about her or her actions right now, and GET THE FUCK OUT. She is going to fail, one way or another. Unless it gets dangerous (actually dangerous, mind you), just back out altogether. Nothing good at all can happen from you having any contact with her right now.
Maybe I'm overreacting. The guy is a criminal, but he only counterfeited. I don't think he has weapons or anything, I just think he will continue to try to fuck with her. Apparently he really wants to date her and won't leave her alone about it. I think she likes the attention, but she dislikes everything else.
Axel, seriously, dude. You have to stop caring about this girl, and you have to stop posting about her, and talking to her. She's obviously a fucking plank if she'll buy things for a criminal and let herself be manipulated but won't date the guy because she only wants one side of the attention. You got manipulated, she's trying to play someone who's playing her, she doesn't give two fucks about you and is a bitch. This is becoming really goddamn cut and dry: you have to give up on her, forget about her, and accept the fact that you actually got off really easy instead of getting trapped in a fucked-up relationship where you were getting gamed for favors and attention.
I hate to sound like a dick; I would like to think that I am, in fact, not an asshole, even though I undoubtedly sound like one to you. I like you, I really do. But look: how are you going to forget this girl if you won't even try? Do yourself a favor: don't write about her, don't talk about her, don't think about her. It's summer now: take that mental energy, and do productive things with it.
I won't be reading or responding to any more posts where you mention her, so you won't hear this out of me again. Note this, though: I went through a period where the only girl I ever "loved" had made it clear that she was absolutely uninterested in me, and I was despondent. But I stopped thinking about her, devoted my time to other activities, and after a few weeks, I was back to status quo, and weeks after that, we were friends again and still are. So I can say, with the absolute certainty and clarity of painful experience, that you need to stop all of this shit. Now.
It's not summer yet. She's still around. Once I go back home this should stop.
She's not as much of a bitch as you make her out to be, she does these things very unintentionally, though I think you are in the right direction with her motives, she just doesn't realize it actively. Not sure if that's better or worse.
I know I need to forget it, but it hurts. I can't just shut off caring about her, I've never cared about anyone as much. Maybe that makes me obsessed like she once said, but oh well. I will learn to move on eventually.
It's not summer yet. She's still around. Once I go back home this should stop.
No, it bloody well should stop now. I'm really not sure how I can convey how much I am really not joking. This woman - especially for you right now - is like a band with planet cracking speaker stacks who play from a spaceship located conveniently far away: Disaster Area.
And yes, when I say these things, I am trying to look our for you, because you are a good person, even though I am about to be very hard on you and you will not like me for saying it to you. And do not mistake this for anger, but utter frustration and despair.
When I say there is literally nothing good that can come from this, I am not in any way taking the piss. We're not the ones who made her out to be a crazy bitch, you are, by telling us about how she's behaving,which is in the manner of a textbook crazy.
I'm not sure how much more clearly we can say it - The best thing, not just for you, but for both of you and everyone involved with the pair of you, is for you to listen to us when we say you should fuck off away from this situation and then at top speed, off you do indeed fuck.
I am one hundred percent serious about this - You are Fucking this up, and if you chose to proceed down this path, you WILL lose her entirely, she WILL hate you, you WILL harm her emotionally very directly, you WILL harm yourself, and you WILL fuck up your own life, her life, and the lives of everyone involved with the pair of you, and I'm sorry, you do not have the right nor duty to fuck up the lives of everyone around you because you feel bad.
Yes, That's right, this isn't for her, it's for you. YOU feel bad because you're not protecting her from this guy who is apparently fucking with her, YOU feel bad because she's getting upset and things are not going well for her, YOU feel bad because YOU think she's not in control, unbalanced and making bad decisions, and I'm afraid that is NOT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. You, My young friend, Lost your vote in how she runs her life when you broke up.
I say again - You are directly hurting her by choosing and continuing this path of action, Namely interfering in what is in no way your business.
I am not - take note - insulting you. I am not saying, in any way, that you're a selfish dickhead of a person, or that you're doing this intentionally, or that you're a bad person. You're a fine guy, and will become a fine man. But you are not doing the right thing here, and you are not only making a mistake by proceeding along this course - which is forgivable - you are ignoring every warning and advisory to stop doing what you're doing because it's doing the exact opposite of a good thing, for no rational or sensible reason, which is certainly not. The reason you are currently being kicked up the arse and told very plainly what you're doing is because I and others have tried being nice, and tried being straight with you, and you have utterly ignored it. This is very much the last resort to try and get you to stop fucking everything up horribly and hurting everyone around you and yourself, which nobody but you will be entirely fucking responsible for.
Pull your head out of your arse, for fuck's sake. Nobody is asking you to stop caring about her, we're asking you to stop Interfering and trying to impose what you think is the right order of things upon them, even though you are doing it for what you think are good and noble reasons. We're doing this not only because you care about her and you are hurting her by doing what you are doing, but because we care about you too, enough to kick you up the arse when you apparently need it because you're not listening to sense, and brother, this is one of those times.
We can't stop you from doing exactly what the fuck you please, but if you care about her as much as you say, then square your shit away and stop this fuckery, because otherwise - as I've already said - you will hurt her, it will not be pretty, it will cause problems for not just the both of you but everyone around you, and as you have been warned, advised, and generally informed, you will have absolute responsibility and precisely zero excuse, And God have mercy on your soul if you get all mopey about what I have said to you and then continue to do what you have already been doing despite.
Well, not to diminish the sound advice above, but I am technically a criminal. In fact, I broke several laws this morning, and several others continuously throughout the night.
Well, not to diminish the sound advice above, but I am technically a criminal. In fact, I broke several laws this morning, and several others continuously throughout the night.
We are not talking about how you work for a wall street company Rym :-p
Well, not to diminish the sound advice above, but I am technically a criminal. In fact, I broke several laws this morning, and several others continuously throughout the night.
We are not talking about how you work for a wall street company Rym :-p
Honestly though? I work for one of the more legitimate "good guys" on Wall Street. We're so audit tight it's ridiculous. I can basically guarantee that no laws are being broken.
My personal computer, however, may have been infringing on copyrights all night long, and I may have run several red lights and a stop sign, gone the wrong way on a one-way street, and ridden my bike on the sidewalk at two junctures. Said bike is missing a bell and most of its reflectors.
Honestly though? I work for one of the more legitimate "good guys" on Wall Street. We're so audit tight it's ridiculous. I can basically guarantee that no laws are being broken.
My personal computer, however, may have been infringing on copyrights all night long, and I may have run several red lights and a stop sign, gone the wrong way on a one-way street, and ridden my bike on the sidewalk at two junctures. Said bike is missing a bell and most of its reflectors.
It's cool I was going to refer to those crimes of passion but decided to go the wall street angle (plus I got Rym to defend himself with the good guys argument he always uses :-p, your supposed to just own it Rym :-p, be like MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I have all the money and you don't or the CHEMTRAILS are being sprayed to cause cancer in the non-banking people HAHAHAHA.... IF only that wasn't true :-p) [god I read too many conspiracy theories these days]
Honestly though? I work for one of the more legitimate "good guys" on Wall Street. We're so audit tight it's ridiculous. I can basically guarantee that no laws are being broken.
My personal computer, however, may have been infringing on copyrights all night long, and I may have run several red lights and a stop sign, gone the wrong way on a one-way street, and ridden my bike on the sidewalk at two junctures. Said bike is missing a bell and most of its reflectors.
I know it has to stop. It is my own fault. Nothing you said is wrong Churba.
I just feel so empty. Right now, even negative interactions with her fill me with something where there is emptiness. I don't want our interactions to be negative, but they let me feel complete for just a bit longer. But I guess I have to stop, which is the most crushing thing for me to deal with because I am quite the wuss in this situation. I fell for her really, really hard, and I was just another person on a long list of her crushes, just also on the short list of crushes who said yes. I am in no way valued by her more than most of her other crushes despite the fact that I've been better to her than a lot of them, and it hurts, so I guess I'm trying to prove that I'm a better person by being a good friend, except I'm being a bad friend, and need to stop.
But the thought of not talking to her just depresses me to no end, so I'm not promising results, just saying that I know you're all right.
Edit: Step 1: Erase her from my phone. Step 2: Erase our Facebook messages in my inbox.
They seem like alright people. They're aren't terrible house guests, I'm more miffed about my room mate bringing home people she she just met.
I've been in the same situation and felt the same way, but you just have to roll with it. Other people can make choices too, and take a chance now and then. What's the name of the band?
I don't know what you guys are talking about. Girl seems pretty normal to me. Your crazy threshold is way, way too low.
I can tolerate a lot of crazy myself but each person has their own limit and it's clear that Axel is hitting his limit and at least now appears to be doing what he needs to do to avoid it.
Yeah, I'm not saying he shouldn't. I just think you shouldn't label someone as 'crazy' when it just looks like they've made a bad choice or two. Being fickle is also not a reason to label someone crazy. Being a teenager and not coping well with a break up, and keeping your ex around even though you broke up with them is ALSO not a reason to label someone crazy. I say if she's not burning you with cigarettes, she's not crazy.
Still, if someone's making you feel bad it's your duty to excise them from your life.
Comments
I hate to sound like a dick; I would like to think that I am, in fact, not an asshole, even though I undoubtedly sound like one to you. I like you, I really do. But look: how are you going to forget this girl if you won't even try? Do yourself a favor: don't write about her, don't talk about her, don't think about her. It's summer now: take that mental energy, and do productive things with it.
I won't be reading or responding to any more posts where you mention her, so you won't hear this out of me again. Note this, though: I went through a period where the only girl I ever "loved" had made it clear that she was absolutely uninterested in me, and I was despondent. But I stopped thinking about her, devoted my time to other activities, and after a few weeks, I was back to status quo, and weeks after that, we were friends again and still are. So I can say, with the absolute certainty and clarity of painful experience, that you need to stop all of this shit. Now.
She's not as much of a bitch as you make her out to be, she does these things very unintentionally, though I think you are in the right direction with her motives, she just doesn't realize it actively. Not sure if that's better or worse.
I know I need to forget it, but it hurts. I can't just shut off caring about her, I've never cared about anyone as much. Maybe that makes me obsessed like she once said, but oh well. I will learn to move on eventually.
And yes, when I say these things, I am trying to look our for you, because you are a good person, even though I am about to be very hard on you and you will not like me for saying it to you. And do not mistake this for anger, but utter frustration and despair.
When I say there is literally nothing good that can come from this, I am not in any way taking the piss. We're not the ones who made her out to be a crazy bitch, you are, by telling us about how she's behaving,which is in the manner of a textbook crazy.
I'm not sure how much more clearly we can say it - The best thing, not just for you, but for both of you and everyone involved with the pair of you, is for you to listen to us when we say you should fuck off away from this situation and then at top speed, off you do indeed fuck.
I am one hundred percent serious about this - You are Fucking this up, and if you chose to proceed down this path, you WILL lose her entirely, she WILL hate you, you WILL harm her emotionally very directly, you WILL harm yourself, and you WILL fuck up your own life, her life, and the lives of everyone involved with the pair of you, and I'm sorry, you do not have the right nor duty to fuck up the lives of everyone around you because you feel bad.
Yes, That's right, this isn't for her, it's for you. YOU feel bad because you're not protecting her from this guy who is apparently fucking with her, YOU feel bad because she's getting upset and things are not going well for her, YOU feel bad because YOU think she's not in control, unbalanced and making bad decisions, and I'm afraid that is NOT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. You, My young friend, Lost your vote in how she runs her life when you broke up.
I say again - You are directly hurting her by choosing and continuing this path of action, Namely interfering in what is in no way your business.
I am not - take note - insulting you. I am not saying, in any way, that you're a selfish dickhead of a person, or that you're doing this intentionally, or that you're a bad person. You're a fine guy, and will become a fine man. But you are not doing the right thing here, and you are not only making a mistake by proceeding along this course - which is forgivable - you are ignoring every warning and advisory to stop doing what you're doing because it's doing the exact opposite of a good thing, for no rational or sensible reason, which is certainly not. The reason you are currently being kicked up the arse and told very plainly what you're doing is because I and others have tried being nice, and tried being straight with you, and you have utterly ignored it. This is very much the last resort to try and get you to stop fucking everything up horribly and hurting everyone around you and yourself, which nobody but you will be entirely fucking responsible for.
Pull your head out of your arse, for fuck's sake. Nobody is asking you to stop caring about her, we're asking you to stop Interfering and trying to impose what you think is the right order of things upon them, even though you are doing it for what you think are good and noble reasons. We're doing this not only because you care about her and you are hurting her by doing what you are doing, but because we care about you too, enough to kick you up the arse when you apparently need it because you're not listening to sense, and brother, this is one of those times.
We can't stop you from doing exactly what the fuck you please, but if you care about her as much as you say, then square your shit away and stop this fuckery, because otherwise - as I've already said - you will hurt her, it will not be pretty, it will cause problems for not just the both of you but everyone around you, and as you have been warned, advised, and generally informed, you will have absolute responsibility and precisely zero excuse, And God have mercy on your soul if you get all mopey about what I have said to you and then continue to do what you have already been doing despite.
My personal computer, however, may have been infringing on copyrights all night long, and I may have run several red lights and a stop sign, gone the wrong way on a one-way street, and ridden my bike on the sidewalk at two junctures. Said bike is missing a bell and most of its reflectors.
So I rushed to class for the final and was twenty minutes late! But the class was pushed to ten thirty! I was two hours early!
I just feel so empty. Right now, even negative interactions with her fill me with something where there is emptiness. I don't want our interactions to be negative, but they let me feel complete for just a bit longer. But I guess I have to stop, which is the most crushing thing for me to deal with because I am quite the wuss in this situation. I fell for her really, really hard, and I was just another person on a long list of her crushes, just also on the short list of crushes who said yes. I am in no way valued by her more than most of her other crushes despite the fact that I've been better to her than a lot of them, and it hurts, so I guess I'm trying to prove that I'm a better person by being a good friend, except I'm being a bad friend, and need to stop.
But the thought of not talking to her just depresses me to no end, so I'm not promising results, just saying that I know you're all right.
Edit: Step 1: Erase her from my phone.
Step 2: Erase our Facebook messages in my inbox.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand it's raining. Now I get to sit in my car and wait.
Still, if someone's making you feel bad it's your duty to excise them from your life.