It almost like he took us saying "We love you" as if it was a farce.
It is a difficult change of life for older generations. My aunt, who is not so old, is dealing with this right now in a less extreme context. She feels the youth go to the internet to find all answers, making parents and similar social structures moot. She isn't sure what her purpose should be.
Your grandpa probably does not want to face how out of control of his own life he is. While nurses might be one thing, a nursing home is completely different. Nursing homes carry a social stigma that really can make one feel absurdly useless and helpless. It's even worse when the discussions make someone feel like he or she might be a burden. No matter how political you get, it would be very easy to feel like a burden to the family that is trying to put you in a nursing home.
I'm not saying anybody is right here. There is simply no political or friendly way to deal with an issue like this, unless the person is volunteering to go into a retirement home in the first place.
Today I spent more time about the destructive-enabling parts of my mother's family. Like my shitty uncle has practically swindled my grandfather out of 300k for the past 30 years, and losing it all in hookers, drugs, and gambling. There's a lot of guilt and self-esteem issues within the family as a whole, and I think the only reason my mom is still doing all this, is "Well, they are family and I just have to deal with the cards that were dealt to me.".
...It hurts because, you don't want this stress to consume a whole other person into complications or illness.
The irony here, as it has also been pointed it in the comments to the artice, is of course that the complaint triggering it was about the books showing "principles contrary to the Bible", when the Bible is a book filled with rape, murder, disaster, death, racism, and absolutely ludicrous killings and depictions thereof.
Today I spent more time about the destructive-enabling parts of my mother's family. Like my shitty uncle has practically swindled my grandfather out of 300k for the past 30 years, and losing it all in hookers, drugs, and gambling. There's a lot of guilt and self-esteem issues within the family as a whole, and I think the only reason my mom is still doing all this, is "Well, they are family and I just have to deal with the cards that were dealt to me.".
I wonder why your folks view you as having to have any role in this. There is nothing you personally can do to make the situation better, so why are you allowed (and allowing) this to consume you to this degree? I have this to some degree with one of my parents and their siblings with respect to my grandmother and various and sundry other issues: they are all more or less nuts. At this point I am older and can look on them as a side show, not relevant to my day-to-day life (especially now I have caller ID and can answer only calls I care to).
While it is not really my concern, I can give one example of the adult that emerges from this parenting process (me). Your parents (in my case, one of my parents) get so accustomed to laying their problems on you that you will eventually find yourself going out of your way to avoid contact. They take and take and eventually you will not want to give any more. This problem concerns, and will be solved by, your mother, father, uncle and grandfather; you should not have to have a role except perhaps as the victim. It is unfortunate that people's folks will have this crap out in front of those who care (i.e., love all the involved parties), but cannot do anything and should not be expected to. Unless you are sitting on a pile of cash, and it wouldn't hurt your future prospects to provide resources, you should feel free to step back and let them stew.
If you value the relationship between your folks and your (future) self, draw a bright-line boundary here. It is not you concer, nor is it your problem to solve. If you want to see someone's thoughts on this subject, you could go to the library/bookstore/torrent and read "Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It is never too early to shape your relations with you parents and to defend your sanity.
The irony here, as it has also been pointed it in the comments to the artice, is of course that the complaint triggering it was about the books showing "principles contrary to the Bible", when the Bible is a book filled with rape, murder, disaster, death, racism, and absolutely ludicrous killings and depictions thereof.
One resource for this is the American Library Association's Banned Books Week site. Among other things, it has a lists of most challenged books and the reasons. Many/most are right-wing nitwits who don't like anything that questions authority or whatever traditional roles they cling to. There are a smaller number of nitwits from the left who would ban books that fail to meet their political views. Most notable there are those who would ban Twain's Huck Finn, often without having read it, based on its have the word nigger. Find a less sympathetic group of people into whose mouth Twain puts that word, and you will see how he uses it to amplify the message.
Hey The South, this is why everyone thinks your a bunch of inbred retards.
à ² _à ² Missouri is not The South. Also stop being a dick and making sweeping generalizations.
Clearly I was referring to everyone else living there and not a forum member. James and Lisa are still awesome, despite living in Texas for some reason. :P
Racial segregation in schools was a serious problem in the mid century.
Yeah, but the character is a black boy perfectly integrated into an otherwise white school. There is never any mention of his race. There's no reason why it would possibly be bad. Basically, the guy's saying "You can't draw black people in white schools 'cause we want black people in white schools." It doesn't make any sense!
Just having a black character in a piece of media back then was a pretty huge political statement. Even somebody pro-integration might have balked at politics in the funny papers; keep in mind that at the time Peanuts was cutting edge satire by comparison to the rest of cartoons and, though the content of the strip is completely inoffensive to our perspective, it was at the time it was revolutionary. Shultz made a potent and powerful political point with the inclusion of a coloured character in the classroom in an age before Doonsberry and the like blurred the lines between the political cartoon and the comics page, and it's easy to forget that.
Not my fail, but the Fail of a local museum; the Page Museum, A.K.A. "The La Brea Tar Pits".
See, they had a timeline which was divided into two halves. The top half was stuff happening in terms of species going extinct or coming to rise, etc. The bottom half was historic events or things that would put those years into perspective for us.
What did they have as one of the big markers for 2000 years ago? The crucifixion of christ. Not "the supposed crucifixion of Christ", not "The crucifixion of Christ - according to the bible", just "The Crucifixion of Christ" like it was a FACT.
While the rest of the museum was pretty good, this... -20 respects.
Comments
Your grandpa probably does not want to face how out of control of his own life he is. While nurses might be one thing, a nursing home is completely different. Nursing homes carry a social stigma that really can make one feel absurdly useless and helpless. It's even worse when the discussions make someone feel like he or she might be a burden. No matter how political you get, it would be very easy to feel like a burden to the family that is trying to put you in a nursing home.
I'm not saying anybody is right here. There is simply no political or friendly way to deal with an issue like this, unless the person is volunteering to go into a retirement home in the first place.
...It hurts because, you don't want this stress to consume a whole other person into complications or illness.
Hey The South, this is why everyone thinks your a bunch of inbred retards.
While it is not really my concern, I can give one example of the adult that emerges from this parenting process (me). Your parents (in my case, one of my parents) get so accustomed to laying their problems on you that you will eventually find yourself going out of your way to avoid contact. They take and take and eventually you will not want to give any more. This problem concerns, and will be solved by, your mother, father, uncle and grandfather; you should not have to have a role except perhaps as the victim. It is unfortunate that people's folks will have this crap out in front of those who care (i.e., love all the involved parties), but cannot do anything and should not be expected to. Unless you are sitting on a pile of cash, and it wouldn't hurt your future prospects to provide resources, you should feel free to step back and let them stew.
If you value the relationship between your folks and your (future) self, draw a bright-line boundary here. It is not you concer, nor is it your problem to solve. If you want to see someone's thoughts on this subject, you could go to the library/bookstore/torrent and read "Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It is never too early to shape your relations with you parents and to defend your sanity.
Go make me a banana fritter on your bonfire.
The dumpster where I have to take the trash to.
I hate wasps.
See, they had a timeline which was divided into two halves. The top half was stuff happening in terms of species going extinct or coming to rise, etc. The bottom half was historic events or things that would put those years into perspective for us.
What did they have as one of the big markers for 2000 years ago? The crucifixion of christ. Not "the supposed crucifixion of Christ", not "The crucifixion of Christ - according to the bible", just "The Crucifixion of Christ" like it was a FACT.
While the rest of the museum was pretty good, this... -20 respects.