I had my wisdom teeth removed on Friday. The good news is that the prescribed pain killers are incredibly effective at reducing the pain from the surgery. The bad news is that they cause stomach pain that is at least equal to the surgical pain.
Additionally, the surgeon also cut my lip and face a bit, so I look like a chipmunk that was in a knife fight.
So I'm house sitting for my girlfriend whilst she is on a field course. She has three cats and a dog, all animals I have had dealings with in the past. I'm left to my own devices for a week. Essentially I get to bum around, skate, read and catch up on some work. As such I don't need to worry about some things, such as shutting the door when I pee or putting on trousers. Normally this wouldn't present much of a problem had I not taken the cats into account. In the space of one day I had two epic fails.
The first involved me waking up at silly bugger o'clock due to a cat falling asleep on my face. I haven't had a cat in at least 10 years and the one that I did have was really low maintenance. This cat is not low maintenance its like a fucking child, I have to carry that mother fucker to his food. So Max, the cat, follows me to the bathroom. I tell him to bugger off and go to the loo. My first mistake was not shutting the door. So I'm taking a pee as you do, being a man, kinda tiered and all that. As I look down I see that Max has not leaned over the rim and is looking at the water. Thats fine I tell him to bugger off again and carry on. I look down again and Max is still there so I move him away with a foot. He climbs up my foot, and my leg, and my chest. I have stopped peeing at this point and am trying to avoid my jungle book being turned in to a collage by the cat. This lazy fucking cat is now climbing round my body as I try to grab hold of him. This goes on for a couple of minutes till I manage to get hold of the cat. The cat looks at me, dead in eye, and lets lose this foul stream of angry lemonade. I then throw the cat in the bath to avoid getting splooge on my He-man T. Max takes offence at this and jumps at me. I put Max in the laundry hamper and go to bed. Fuck this cat.
The second happened just after sod-this-o'clock, around 9ish. After a night of pussy in my face (the bad kind) and avoiding fiery water (again bad kind) I come down stairs to eat me some pop tarts. Going through the morning ritual I put my tarts in the oven and a wait the pop, feed the dog and cats and trundle around. it is during my trundle that I notice Fluff (original name from a woman who is a zoologist) is sitting on the banister. Extending the olive branch to the feline race I give him a stroke. Its like their is a V8 in this cat the way it is purring so I assume all is well. Maxwell, after I freed him from his fortress of solitude comes down and rubs on my legs. All is well in my world. I hear my tart pop (a rarity trust my girlfriend), my coffee is ready and for once in this godless land it is sunny. I am content. That is till I hear the sound of dogs feet on wooden floor. This is the herald of the pain train, it is Augustus vagoo blasting Cole declaring its arrival. Dylan the spaniel rounds the corner at a brisk trot. I should explain now that he doesn't chase cats to hurt them. He cases them because he wants to be a cat. The cats do not want him to join their clique, apparently they are exclusive. As he rounds the corner Dylan lets out an excited back and bounds (think Pepe le Pew) towards the tow cats. The take one look and make their moves. Max having become familiar with my chest has decided that now it is bereft of a He-Man to use my chest hair like a cargo net and climbs on up. This alone would cause me to question the validity of Odin's beard but alas this was only the beginning. The originally named Fluff takes one look at the dog and decides that the banister is not the safest place, it was, and decided that my head was better, it wasn't. He now jumps on to my head. I am blind, I have a cat on my face, one now entangled in my chest and a spaniel trying to climb my leg but only succeeding in furiously emptying his wiffle pouch all over the smooth, varnished wooden floor. For a small dog he can piss like a horse. All this information was lost to me as i battled with the cat on my face. If I had the joy of sight I would have noticed that my capering was taking me closer and closer to the salty lakes that had gathered. When my foot contacted with the foul brew my world shifted, not in a good way like 'oh wow I met this girl, she's amazing, I'm taking up Tai Chi', more 'Oh bugger I've slipped in piss'. And slip I did straight onto my back with a hearty thud that sent reverberations across the house. The floor might be wooden on the surface but this is a thin vainer, covering the concrete bitch that lurks beneath. To say that I swore would be an understatement, I created a new language so that I could curse the quadrupeds that lead to my downfall.
As I lay there feeling the waves of pain wash over me I came to the realisation that I don't like animals at times. My fall did cause the animals a moment of unity, the three of them stood in semi-circle round me. Almost in a silent vigil. This lasted for lest than ten seconds before they resumed the chase. Heedless of the fact that I was lying in their path. I have another week of this and I can already hear Maxwell's demanding meows
Nancy "White Mouse" Wake has died today. She was a really sweet lady, super nice, charming and funny - it's really a loss to the world. The world shall miss you, Nana Wake. Link
Bullshit politics and security issues at the EJC makes HULK RAGE MAD!!!
And not just me! The main hall of the European Juggling Convention has been closed by the fire marshals. Thousands of jugglers are now milling about outside. And for some reason, I'm the go-to guy to "Find something entertaining to do to make the 7,000 jugglers in attendance happy!"
No. Fuck that. I'm already working 6 to 8 hours a day. I can't take responsibility in stopping a general revolt.
"Wait, what? There's crouching in quake 3?" There's probably a guy somewhere out there who didn't learn that you can turn blocks in tetris. I think I just lost my right to laugh at him.
Just saw a TV add where people could text a number and ask for answers to questions......they are paying for google.
I saw a version of that where you could ask questions for free on the website, and we used to amuse ourselves greatly at RavenHome by getting super stoned and asking it ludicrous questions.
I made Vegan Espresso Brownies that tasted awesome. I then shared them with my son right before his bedtime. Feeding a 2 year old coffee filled brownies before bed is an epic fail for those who like sleep, ugh.
I accidentally bumped my car into another car in our shitty Post Office Parking Lot (Which people are very known for having accidents and GETTING HIT) in. When I got out of the car, I saw that incredibly minor damage was done to the bump of the car I hit, with a paint chip falling off and a small crack in the paint. The young woman, around my age was concerned, but we were very understanding of what happened. She didn't own the car though, she had to go inside and explain to her grandmother how her car got hit.
The grandmother immediately came at me with full force of needing to know insurance information. She demanded my Driver's License ID, Basic Info, Insurance, the whole deal without telling me anything in return, and even demanding to talk to MY insurance agent who I called promptly when it happened. And she kept stressing that this incident has happened to her before, saying that a paint job on the bumper costs about 1,000 dollars. And even though it's a 2007 Maroon Vehicle, it's in shoddier condition than my 2001 Accord. What made me the most mad however, was even though I was thanked for being honest and not fleeing (Which I couldn't have), was that how one old man who GLARED at me the entire time this thing happened. He even glared at me for a good two minutes as I left the post office, got in my car, and talked to my mom for a second on the phone. It's like, he's been in that parking lot several times and seen wrecks before, but wanted to see a young person fuck up and lose money. I would have screamed at him, if the young woman didn't have a toddler with her she was caring for.
Screw you old people, for having nothing better to do than judge and cause problems. And what's just as bad was that as I was about to go, I let go of the break for a millisecond, and nearly got hit by a speeding blue truck that was leaning against my side of the parking lot. (It isn't a big enough middle area to divide, and she was intentionally leaning towards my car, she wasn't even doing anything at the post office.
Screw you old people, for having nothing better to do than judge and cause problems.
I feel your pain. I get hassle all the time from old people on the bus when ever I wear my work clothes on my commute, I'm working in a forest at the moment so I look like a lumberjack in every sense. It really kills me because you can meet some really cool old people who have awesome skills and stories and some that are just dicks.
At least the damage on the car wasn't so bad there is an upside to that at least.
Screw you old people, for having nothing better to do than judge and cause problems.
You have to do something about it. I would have yelled, "Is there a problem?" straight at him as soon as I noticed him glaring for any long amount of time. People like that have nothing better to do than stare and judge, but they never get called out on it. There's nothing illegal about yelling at an old man that won't mind his own goddamned business.
I really should have yelled at him, when it came to it. I asked him "Do you need me to move my car so you can leave?" And he bobbed his head and gave a condescending "Well, I'd appreciate it." It almost felt like it was planned because of how he could watch me screw up and act as a witness supporting the old woman.
Unfortunately for me, my family did have to file a claim because the woman I bumped into knows AND HATES my mom, so she's going out of her way to cause all this. Calling my family's home number instead of my cell and even getting a rental car, claiming that paint damage leaves her old one incapacitated. The two women weren't even related. What a bitch, I hope someone else wrecks that car.
Unfortunately for me, my family did have to file a claim because the woman I bumped into knows AND HATES my mom, so she's going out of her way to cause all this. Calling my family's home number instead of my cell and even getting a rental car, claiming that paint damage leaves her old one incapacitated. The two women weren't even related. What a bitch, someone else wrecks that car.
You need to hide behind your insurance. Tell her to direct all communication to your insurance company as they will handle the matter. If she keeps calling, call your insurance and tell them you're being harassed by her.
Chinese IV and AP Computer Science are the same period. I called today to see what other course I could take, and Statistics conflicts with Chinese, and Anatomy and Physiology conflicts with Calculus, so I don't even know what to take now.
Chinese IV and AP Computer Science are the same period. I called today to see what other course I could take, and Statistics conflicts with Chinese, and Anatomy and Physiology conflicts with Calculus, so I don't even know what to take now.
Take a band class! (Or any other fun artsy class). That's what I did my senior year when I had an open spot. It was either that or weight lifting. :-p
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Additionally, the surgeon also cut my lip and face a bit, so I look like a chipmunk that was in a knife fight.
The first involved me waking up at silly bugger o'clock due to a cat falling asleep on my face. I haven't had a cat in at least 10 years and the one that I did have was really low maintenance. This cat is not low maintenance its like a fucking child, I have to carry that mother fucker to his food. So Max, the cat, follows me to the bathroom. I tell him to bugger off and go to the loo. My first mistake was not shutting the door. So I'm taking a pee as you do, being a man, kinda tiered and all that. As I look down I see that Max has not leaned over the rim and is looking at the water. Thats fine I tell him to bugger off again and carry on. I look down again and Max is still there so I move him away with a foot. He climbs up my foot, and my leg, and my chest. I have stopped peeing at this point and am trying to avoid my jungle book being turned in to a collage by the cat. This lazy fucking cat is now climbing round my body as I try to grab hold of him. This goes on for a couple of minutes till I manage to get hold of the cat. The cat looks at me, dead in eye, and lets lose this foul stream of angry lemonade. I then throw the cat in the bath to avoid getting splooge on my He-man T. Max takes offence at this and jumps at me. I put Max in the laundry hamper and go to bed. Fuck this cat.
The second happened just after sod-this-o'clock, around 9ish. After a night of pussy in my face (the bad kind) and avoiding fiery water (again bad kind) I come down stairs to eat me some pop tarts. Going through the morning ritual I put my tarts in the oven and a wait the pop, feed the dog and cats and trundle around. it is during my trundle that I notice Fluff (original name from a woman who is a zoologist) is sitting on the banister. Extending the olive branch to the feline race I give him a stroke. Its like their is a V8 in this cat the way it is purring so I assume all is well. Maxwell, after I freed him from his fortress of solitude comes down and rubs on my legs. All is well in my world. I hear my tart pop (a rarity trust my girlfriend), my coffee is ready and for once in this godless land it is sunny. I am content. That is till I hear the sound of dogs feet on wooden floor. This is the herald of the pain train, it is Augustus vagoo blasting Cole declaring its arrival. Dylan the spaniel rounds the corner at a brisk trot. I should explain now that he doesn't chase cats to hurt them. He cases them because he wants to be a cat. The cats do not want him to join their clique, apparently they are exclusive. As he rounds the corner Dylan lets out an excited back and bounds (think Pepe le Pew) towards the tow cats. The take one look and make their moves. Max having become familiar with my chest has decided that now it is bereft of a He-Man to use my chest hair like a cargo net and climbs on up. This alone would cause me to question the validity of Odin's beard but alas this was only the beginning. The originally named Fluff takes one look at the dog and decides that the banister is not the safest place, it was, and decided that my head was better, it wasn't. He now jumps on to my head. I am blind, I have a cat on my face, one now entangled in my chest and a spaniel trying to climb my leg but only succeeding in furiously emptying his wiffle pouch all over the smooth, varnished wooden floor. For a small dog he can piss like a horse. All this information was lost to me as i battled with the cat on my face. If I had the joy of sight I would have noticed that my capering was taking me closer and closer to the salty lakes that had gathered. When my foot contacted with the foul brew my world shifted, not in a good way like 'oh wow I met this girl, she's amazing, I'm taking up Tai Chi', more 'Oh bugger I've slipped in piss'. And slip I did straight onto my back with a hearty thud that sent reverberations across the house. The floor might be wooden on the surface but this is a thin vainer, covering the concrete bitch that lurks beneath. To say that I swore would be an understatement, I created a new language so that I could curse the quadrupeds that lead to my downfall.
As I lay there feeling the waves of pain wash over me I came to the realisation that I don't like animals at times. My fall did cause the animals a moment of unity, the three of them stood in semi-circle round me. Almost in a silent vigil. This lasted for lest than ten seconds before they resumed the chase. Heedless of the fact that I was lying in their path. I have another week of this and I can already hear Maxwell's demanding meows
Link
No. Fuck that. I'm already working 6 to 8 hours a day. I can't take responsibility in stopping a general revolt.
Does anyone who lives in a real country have a spare room I can sleep in?
There's probably a guy somewhere out there who didn't learn that you can turn blocks in tetris. I think I just lost my right to laugh at him.
House guest left milk and water in the plug in kettle...
FOR THREE WEEKS.
The grandmother immediately came at me with full force of needing to know insurance information. She demanded my Driver's License ID, Basic Info, Insurance, the whole deal without telling me anything in return, and even demanding to talk to MY insurance agent who I called promptly when it happened. And she kept stressing that this incident has happened to her before, saying that a paint job on the bumper costs about 1,000 dollars. And even though it's a 2007 Maroon Vehicle, it's in shoddier condition than my 2001 Accord. What made me the most mad however, was even though I was thanked for being honest and not fleeing (Which I couldn't have), was that how one old man who GLARED at me the entire time this thing happened. He even glared at me for a good two minutes as I left the post office, got in my car, and talked to my mom for a second on the phone. It's like, he's been in that parking lot several times and seen wrecks before, but wanted to see a young person fuck up and lose money. I would have screamed at him, if the young woman didn't have a toddler with her she was caring for.
Screw you old people, for having nothing better to do than judge and cause problems. And what's just as bad was that as I was about to go, I let go of the break for a millisecond, and nearly got hit by a speeding blue truck that was leaning against my side of the parking lot. (It isn't a big enough middle area to divide, and she was intentionally leaning towards my car, she wasn't even doing anything at the post office.
At least the damage on the car wasn't so bad there is an upside to that at least.
Unfortunately for me, my family did have to file a claim because the woman I bumped into knows AND HATES my mom, so she's going out of her way to cause all this. Calling my family's home number instead of my cell and even getting a rental car, claiming that paint damage leaves her old one incapacitated. The two women weren't even related. What a bitch, I hope someone else wrecks that car.