I know that feel. Also, any friend who demands all of your free time (or really, any of it, especially using the quote you mentioned) during an incredibly stressful period, especially a theater event, is being really selfish. Friends support other friends endeavors, and know when to give someone a break.
I know that feel. Also, any friend who demands all of your free time (or really, any of it, especially using the quote you mentioned) during an incredibly stressful period, especially a theater event, is being really selfish. Friends support other friends endeavors, and know when to give someone a break.
He didn't know what was going on in my life, nor did he really care to listen. He just kept demanding to know what it was he did that offended me.
In the time I haven't talked to him, I have: -Gotten in a car wreck -Gone through exams while on strong medication because of said wreck -Had my dad go through medical tests -Had those tests result in surgery, with complications -Read 4-5 plays per week, writing a paper for each -Other homework, including but not limited to a set design with a model box, another play analysis, and other accompanying paperwork -Made costumes for productions -Tried to make time here and there to hang out with my closest friends
And I haven't even started stage managing yet. A lot of times it's a choice on the weekends between having a little downtime for myself, getting homework done, or seeing a friend, maybe two. And I don't think prioritizing my closest friends first is wrong.
...But he still managed to make me feel like a downright shitty person.
Thanks guys. I'm just pretty worn out. This was supposed to be my chill weekend and between him and taking care of my friend throwing up last night and this morning, I'm starting to think that constantly busy might be a happy alternative.
Edit: That kind of belittles the good parts of the weekend, and there WERE good parts, but most of them involved hiding from most people and watching Ryan play Mass Effect, or going to see plays/movies with a person or two.
Thanks guys. I'm just pretty worn out. This was supposed to be my chill weekend and between him and taking care of my friend throwing up last night and this morning, I'm starting to think that constantly busy might be a happy alternative.
Hey, I'm a big fan of letting my work consume me when I don't want to deal with the world. Maybe that's unhealthy, maybe it's not, I don't really care; there's something to be said that my books and data don't judge or hassle me as long as my calculations and conclusions are right at the end of the day.
Also, you know how to reach me if you need to. Whenever you need to vent to someone friendly and entirely removed from your social situation, feel free.
Look at it this way, at least you have friends that will hassle you if you aren't around. I don't really have any friends where I live, all my friends who really care about me are out of state. Kinda depressing. Oh, but that guy sounds like a shitty friend. My reaction to what you said even if I had gone to you with "why do you hate me now" would have been, "oh...shit...sorry".
WUB: Thank you, you've been a really good far-away-friend.
Part of my problem when I get really involved in things is that I tend to forget who I need to talk to and when and about what and I just call on who's convenient and who, more importantly, consistently has been making me smile. Taking risks on someone that things were difficult with when I'm spread thin just isn't appealing.
Letting work consume me is kind of an obligatory coping mechanism at this point; I have no other choice unless I were to let my work fall by the wayside in favor of other ways of dealing. But I think diving into what I need to get done academically is going to be the most constructive and healthy at the moment. Maybe it's not ALWAYS what's healthy, but right now it certainly is.
In this guy's case, I tried to apologize and I tried to say I had honestly been busy, but he was too caught up being angry to listen. To an extent, sure, they're excuses... but I also tried to tell him that if he really wanted to fix things, that wasn't the way, and he continued to jump down my throat.
I know that feel. Also, any friend who demands all of your free time (or really, any of it, especially using the quote you mentioned) during an incredibly stressful period, especially a theater event, is being really selfish. Friends support other friends endeavors, and know when to give someone a break.
He didn't know what was going on in my life, nor did he really care to listen. He just kept demanding to know what it was he did that offended me. [...] And I haven't even started stage managing yet. A lot of times it's a choice on the weekends between having a little downtime for myself, getting homework done, or seeing a friend, maybe two. And I don't think prioritizing my closest friends first is wrong.
That's really frustrating when that happens. I have really nice friends, but sometimes I don't think they realize how busy and stressed out I get, and get really put out when I neglect to hang out with them for a time. Not only am I really busy, but because I am busy I need time alone to decompress and collect myself. Socialization is also a little stressful. Anyway, sometimes they get sad and mad and start asking if I hate them and stuff. Me needing to sleep off the effects of the week becomes dramatic. It's really frustrating and makes me more stressed and guilty. Of course, I don't mind if people are around as long as I don't have to do anything. As long as I can just kind of exist without putting any effort in.
Of course, I don't mind if people are around as long as I don't have to do anything. As long as I can just kind of exist without putting any effort in.
All of what you said reflects really well how I feel, but particularly this. Part of the reason I hadn't picked to hang out with that particular friend is that he's very high energy/high maintenance, and I always just feel more exhausted when he leaves. I have four or five good friends who's time I've been investing in because I can relax around them and not have to do or expect much. They also keep me motivated and are understanding. It's really a matter of what type of person is my priority and why.
My girlfriend's little brother just overdosed. This is the third immediate family member she's lost, and the second in the past six months. Fucking hell...
My girlfriend's little brother just overdosed. This is the third immediate family member she's lost, and the second in the past six months. Fucking hell...
It's unspeakable. He was only 17 years old. I don't know what to do or say.
Just be with her. Just being physically present means a lot to people going through things like that. If you need to say something, I feel like you'll know what it is at the time.
Hang tight, man. We're here for you if you need advice or support.
So I got to get a better look at my Theology book report today. Due to his policy with collected assignments, I've only been able to look at it in class, but hopefully I'll be able to scan it at some point, because his corrections are beautifully shitty. At least he gave me an 80, but I definitely deserved higher.
Keep in mind that my teacher gave the class a list of books to choose from, then made us check with him after we chose our book, so clearly he should have no problem with the book itself. He also claims to have read every book on the list.
My book is Evolution & Eden. The focus is on unifying evolution with Catholic teachings of Original Sin. Most of the book is about the history of the Church's teachings on this topic, followed by the author's ideas. The point of the book is that it IS NOT OFFICIAL CATHOLIC TEACHING.
Basically, every time I wrote about the traditional view on a topic, he wrote something to the effect of "this is not what modern Christians believe". Every time I mentioned something we learned about in class, he wrote "we talked about this in class" as if I was wrong to mention it. But, best of all, whenever I wrote what the author's beliefs were, he commented that it wasn't modern Catholic teaching. That's the whole fucking point. He made sure to state several times that I have a very poor understanding of Catholic teachings and clearly haven't been paying attention in class. I wrote down some of my favorite comments he made:
me: "Throughout history, science has proven to be a very effective method of learning about the world..."
him: "very weak generalization, just look at medicine alone and you destroy this argument"
me: "Science is able to explain the origin of the universe in a way that does not require a god."
him: "that depends how you define God"
At one point, I quoted from the book I wrote the report on, cited it and everything, and he underlined it and started arguing against the guy. What the fuck?
He underlined a sentence where I was stating some of the author's beliefs and wrote that I clearly formed my opinion about the book before I even read it.
I wrote that if one teaching of a religion is shown to be wrong, then the religion as a whole is wrong, but not necessarily every belief it holds is. He underlined the second part and wrote "confusing", then circled the first part and said that it was wrong ("all of geography is not wrong just because they found out the earth is round").
Keep in mind that my teacher believes in evolution. The only explanation I can think of for this shit is that he decided from the get-go that he hated me and I hated everything about Catholicism, and so everything I said was clearly wrong and evil. It's not like there's a clear viewpoint from the comments. It's like he looked at each statement I made, decided it was wrong, then figured a bullshit way to pretend it was wrong.
In those sorts of classes, the professor typically has to be the devil's advocate to every student (or should be at least).
me: "Throughout history, science has proven to be a very effective method of learning about the world..."
him: "very weak generalization,
This I can buy, it's such a broad statement. What is proven, what is history, what is learning...
blockjust look at medicine alone and you destroy this argument"
But that deserves to be called "very weak generalization" right back.
me: "Science is able to explain the origin of the universe in a way that does not require a god."
him: "that depends how you define God"
Like the above, your quoted sentence is really insufficient. I wouldn't have taken his angle though, I would have attacked the idea that science explains the origin of the universe more likely.
At one point, I quoted from the book I wrote the report on, cited it and everything, and he underlined it and started arguing against the guy. What the fuck?
Yeah that's definitely what-the-fuck territory.
He underlined a sentence where I was stating some of the author's beliefs and wrote that I clearly formed my opinion about the book before I even read it.
I can't comment.
I wrote that if one teaching of a religion is shown to be wrong, then the religion as a whole is wrong, but not necessarily every belief it holds is. He underlined the second part and wrote "confusing", then circled the first part and said that it was wrong ("all of geography is not wrong just because they found out the earth is round").
I'm going to assume you explained this more fairly than that. What does it mean for something to be wrong? And religions are themselves quite broad thing. In a very poor formulation of your argument, you could be saying that if any premise of an argument is false, the conclusion is false, but that's a fallicy. So he's sort-of right there... if that's actually what you said.
Your second thought, that individual beliefs have thier own value for that very same reason.
Keep in mind that my teacher believes in evolution. The only explanation I can think of for this shit is that he decided from the get-go that he hated me and I hated everything about Catholicism, and so everything I said was clearly wrong and evil. It's not like there's a clear viewpoint from the comments. It's like he looked at each statement I made, decided it was wrong, then figured a bullshit way to pretend it was wrong.
That is, probably, what he did. Because that's part of his role in this kind of thing. Except for the bullshit part. But that might be subject to interpretation.
For the "one teaching of a religion is shown to be wrong" part, this part came after I talked about how religions are a combination of "factual" and "non-factual" beliefs. Statements like "there is a god" are factual, even if they aren't provable or are proven to be false. Because science also deals with the factual, they should mesh. This led to me saying that if one (factual) belief of a religion is shown to be wrong (false), then the religion as a whole is not correct, but in that same sentence said that this doesn't mean that every belief it holds is false.
As for the devil's advocate part, most of his comments weren't "this is false" or "this is faulty logic" or anything like that. For the most part, if I wrote "this is what the traditional Catholic teaching was" or "this is what the author says", he wrote "that is not modern Catholic teaching". If I wrote something that is a modern Catholic teaching and we went over in class, he wrote "we talked about this in class" as if that invalidated it. He ignored what I was actually saying.
Yeah. I typed this up while angry, too, so it's probably not very well written. I'll see if I can get a chance to scan the actual paper sometime. Unfortunately, he keeps all assignments, and I'm not sure if he'd respond well to "can I borrow this to scan it?"
That's an odd policy if he says that you cannot. You should absolutely be able to get a copy so you can (in theory) at least improve upon your argument. The only paper I never got back was one for a final in a class... and that was because i'm lazy (though years later, I wish I had, because I still have some questions on it).
Yeah. I typed this up while angry, too, so it's probably not very well written. I'll see if I can get a chance to scan the actual paper sometime. Unfortunately, he keeps all assignments, and I'm not sure if he'd respond well to "can I borrow this to scan it?"
Tell him you'd like a photocopy of your work with his comments for your records. If he persists in saying no, tell him that you're looking to use his feedback constructively to help with college essays. If he still persists, go to an administrator; if your school won't allow you to see the reason why you pulled a certain grade, there is a significant problem.
Sorry you got stuck with a shitty religion teacher; they seem to run the gamut in Catholic schools. My sophomore religion teacher was a kind-hearted, incredibly intelligent man with a sharply logical mind, who despite his flaws (some latent Catholic homophobia), had a profound impact on how I interpret religion, approach teaching, and treat people. I still consider him a friend and mentor; he was the type of teacher who would accept disagreements with students and admit that he was wrong or did not know the answer to a question. He was excellent.
My senior year teacher was a hateful woman who preached a practice of open classroom dialog, and instead used her position of power as a pulpit to spit dogma and attempt to hammer dissidence out into clean, dogmatic Catholic practice. She insulted me, my family, my friends, and my intelligence multiple times in the classroom, and eventually gave D's or F's to around 60% of her students on a progress report to prove a point. Several of us in that class began a year-long campaign of derision, logical arguments, and loophole abuse that left her withered and worn, and at the end of the year, we all pulled A's in her class. We remain bitter enemies to this day and she still speaks my name with scorn and hate, according to my family and friends who still attend that school. If she ever approaches me again with another barbed comment, I yearn for the chance to tell her that she is the reason I lost my faith.
Don't let the bastards grind you down, man. You've got logic, wit, and fierce intelligence on your side. That's what colleges care about, not the bullshit theologic opinions of a monk who still practices pre-Vatican II Catholicism. Soldier on and I know you'll prevail.
Comments
Also, techie fist-bump.
Part of the second conversation was,
Me: "I honestly just don't have that much free time right now"
Him: "YOU'RE NOT BUSY EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY."
Yeah. Great. Thank you for that.
I know that feel. Also, any friend who demands all of your free time (or really, any of it, especially using the quote you mentioned) during an incredibly stressful period, especially a theater event, is being really selfish. Friends support other friends endeavors, and know when to give someone a break.
In the time I haven't talked to him, I have:
-Gotten in a car wreck
-Gone through exams while on strong medication because of said wreck
-Had my dad go through medical tests
-Had those tests result in surgery, with complications
-Read 4-5 plays per week, writing a paper for each
-Other homework, including but not limited to a set design with a model box, another play analysis, and other accompanying paperwork
-Made costumes for productions
-Tried to make time here and there to hang out with my closest friends
And I haven't even started stage managing yet. A lot of times it's a choice on the weekends between having a little downtime for myself, getting homework done, or seeing a friend, maybe two. And I don't think prioritizing my closest friends first is wrong.
...But he still managed to make me feel like a downright shitty person.
Alright, listen close: You're not a shitty person. He's a shitty friend.
Edit: That kind of belittles the good parts of the weekend, and there WERE good parts, but most of them involved hiding from most people and watching Ryan play Mass Effect, or going to see plays/movies with a person or two.
Also, you know how to reach me if you need to. Whenever you need to vent to someone friendly and entirely removed from your social situation, feel free.
Part of my problem when I get really involved in things is that I tend to forget who I need to talk to and when and about what and I just call on who's convenient and who, more importantly, consistently has been making me smile. Taking risks on someone that things were difficult with when I'm spread thin just isn't appealing.
Letting work consume me is kind of an obligatory coping mechanism at this point; I have no other choice unless I were to let my work fall by the wayside in favor of other ways of dealing. But I think diving into what I need to get done academically is going to be the most constructive and healthy at the moment. Maybe it's not ALWAYS what's healthy, but right now it certainly is.
In this guy's case, I tried to apologize and I tried to say I had honestly been busy, but he was too caught up being angry to listen. To an extent, sure, they're excuses... but I also tried to tell him that if he really wanted to fix things, that wasn't the way, and he continued to jump down my throat.
Of course, I don't mind if people are around as long as I don't have to do anything. As long as I can just kind of exist without putting any effort in.
Hang tight, man. We're here for you if you need advice or support.
Keep in mind that my teacher gave the class a list of books to choose from, then made us check with him after we chose our book, so clearly he should have no problem with the book itself. He also claims to have read every book on the list.
My book is Evolution & Eden. The focus is on unifying evolution with Catholic teachings of Original Sin. Most of the book is about the history of the Church's teachings on this topic, followed by the author's ideas. The point of the book is that it IS NOT OFFICIAL CATHOLIC TEACHING.
Basically, every time I wrote about the traditional view on a topic, he wrote something to the effect of "this is not what modern Christians believe". Every time I mentioned something we learned about in class, he wrote "we talked about this in class" as if I was wrong to mention it. But, best of all, whenever I wrote what the author's beliefs were, he commented that it wasn't modern Catholic teaching. That's the whole fucking point. He made sure to state several times that I have a very poor understanding of Catholic teachings and clearly haven't been paying attention in class. I wrote down some of my favorite comments he made:
me: "Throughout history, science has proven to be a very effective method of learning about the world..."
him: "very weak generalization, just look at medicine alone and you destroy this argument"
me: "Science is able to explain the origin of the universe in a way that does not require a god."
him: "that depends how you define God"
At one point, I quoted from the book I wrote the report on, cited it and everything, and he underlined it and started arguing against the guy. What the fuck?
He underlined a sentence where I was stating some of the author's beliefs and wrote that I clearly formed my opinion about the book before I even read it.
I wrote that if one teaching of a religion is shown to be wrong, then the religion as a whole is wrong, but not necessarily every belief it holds is. He underlined the second part and wrote "confusing", then circled the first part and said that it was wrong ("all of geography is not wrong just because they found out the earth is round").
Keep in mind that my teacher believes in evolution. The only explanation I can think of for this shit is that he decided from the get-go that he hated me and I hated everything about Catholicism, and so everything I said was clearly wrong and evil. It's not like there's a clear viewpoint from the comments. It's like he looked at each statement I made, decided it was wrong, then figured a bullshit way to pretend it was wrong.
TL;DR Fuck you, Brother
I can't comment.
I'm going to assume you explained this more fairly than that. What does it mean for something to be wrong? And religions are themselves quite broad thing. In a very poor formulation of your argument, you could be saying that if any premise of an argument is false, the conclusion is false, but that's a fallicy. So he's sort-of right there... if that's actually what you said.
Your second thought, that individual beliefs have thier own value for that very same reason.
That is, probably, what he did. Because that's part of his role in this kind of thing. Except for the bullshit part. But that might be subject to interpretation.
As for the devil's advocate part, most of his comments weren't "this is false" or "this is faulty logic" or anything like that. For the most part, if I wrote "this is what the traditional Catholic teaching was" or "this is what the author says", he wrote "that is not modern Catholic teaching". If I wrote something that is a modern Catholic teaching and we went over in class, he wrote "we talked about this in class" as if that invalidated it. He ignored what I was actually saying.
Sorry you got stuck with a shitty religion teacher; they seem to run the gamut in Catholic schools. My sophomore religion teacher was a kind-hearted, incredibly intelligent man with a sharply logical mind, who despite his flaws (some latent Catholic homophobia), had a profound impact on how I interpret religion, approach teaching, and treat people. I still consider him a friend and mentor; he was the type of teacher who would accept disagreements with students and admit that he was wrong or did not know the answer to a question. He was excellent.
My senior year teacher was a hateful woman who preached a practice of open classroom dialog, and instead used her position of power as a pulpit to spit dogma and attempt to hammer dissidence out into clean, dogmatic Catholic practice. She insulted me, my family, my friends, and my intelligence multiple times in the classroom, and eventually gave D's or F's to around 60% of her students on a progress report to prove a point. Several of us in that class began a year-long campaign of derision, logical arguments, and loophole abuse that left her withered and worn, and at the end of the year, we all pulled A's in her class. We remain bitter enemies to this day and she still speaks my name with scorn and hate, according to my family and friends who still attend that school. If she ever approaches me again with another barbed comment, I yearn for the chance to tell her that she is the reason I lost my faith.
Don't let the bastards grind you down, man. You've got logic, wit, and fierce intelligence on your side. That's what colleges care about, not the bullshit theologic opinions of a monk who still practices pre-Vatican II Catholicism. Soldier on and I know you'll prevail.