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Fail of Your Day

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  • Crispy bacon sucks donkey nuts. Chewy bacon ftw
    I don't mean crispy to the point of bacon dust. It should still be pliable, but have a little crisp when you bite it. The microwave makes the bacon soggy.
  • Crispy bacon sucks donkey nuts. Chewy bacon ftw
    I don't mean crispy to the point of bacon dust. It should still be pliable, but have a little crisp when you bite it. The microwave makes the bacon soggy.
    Then you are doing it wrong, you can microwave your bacon from chewy to full on crispy, you can even go so crispy that it becomes brittle and its perfect for adding extra crunch to salads.
  • Then you are doing it wrong, you can microwave your bacon from chewy to full on crispy, you can even go so crispy that it becomes brittle and its perfect for adding extra crunch to salads.
    I just don't think you can do that with a microwave, but in the interest of fairness I'm willing to give it a shot. If you could post details about how you go about making perfect bacon I will attempt to replicate it in my own microwave. I love my pan fried bacon, but the microwave can be an enormous time saver when used correctly.
  • It's quite simple actually:
    -Place a plate, paper towel, microwave rack (you can find one for pennies anywhere), bacon, paper towel in that order inside your microwave.
    -Set to medium high
    -Cook for about five minutes for chewy, about three more for crispy and about three more for super crispy (depends on your oven I guess)
    -Check bacon
    -Cook for longer if needed

    I will admit that there are drawbacks with the method, as you can figure out, you can't really save the rendered fat. I will also state that oven baked bacon is by far the best way to cook bacon.
  • -Set to medium high
    This step is useless to anyone not having the exact same microwave as you. Mention watts.
  • This step is useless to anyone not having the exact same microwave as you. Mention watts.
    Frankly, the fact that he said oven is better means I won't do this. Instead I 'm just going to cook a sheet of bacon in the oven and throw it in the fridge to take as I need.
  • edited September 2009
    Please elaborate as to why is it so wrong to use the microwave? why are people so afraid of it?
    Because the heat is too high and uneven to cook the bacon. Bacon needs low heat and slow cooking to be nice and crispy without being tough.
    WTF? Do you people not know how to *cook* with a microwave? Rym and Scott's prejudice against the microwave severely impedes the ability to cook anything quickly at their house. (They don't have one.)

    A microwave lets you control the power. You can cook bacon in the microwave just fine, as long as you reduce the power to something reasonable. It amazes me how many people don't even know that you can adjust the power setting on your microwave. What do you think that button is FOR, anyway?

    Cooking anything in the microwave on HIGH is pretty much the equivalent of using the high setting on your electric burner. Know how to use your tools before you condemn them.
    Post edited by Nuri on
  • A microwave lets you control the power. You can cook bacon in the microwave just fine, as long as you reduce the power to something reasonable. It amazes me how many people don't even know that you can adjust the power setting on your microwave. What do you think that button is FOR, anyway?
    My experiences with microwaves seem to indicate that there is not adjustable power setting. All it does is cycle the element on and off to simulate different levels of heating.
  • I know, I think Scrym should have one, if just for left-overs. Sheesh.
  • edited September 2009

    My experiences with microwaves seem to indicate that there is not adjustable power setting. All it does is cycle the element on and off to simulate different levels of heating.
    Then you were using a shitty microwave, or you were doing it wrong. It's just like any other machine; there are varying degrees of quality. Microwaves also vary a lot. What is 50 power on one might be 70 power on another. I learned a lot of my microwave cooking skills from trial and error. With my own microwave, I know exactly what settings to use. Now we are using my roommate's microwave, and it is quite different from mine.
    Post edited by Nuri on
  • I packed some Yodels into my bag before heading to class this morning and when I pulled them out later in the day they were all squished.
  • edited September 2009
    Then you were using a shitty microwave, or you were doing it wrong.
    No, it's a Sharp, it's pretty good as far as microwaves go and I read the instructions.

    That's another pet peeve of mine. Why the hell are microwaves so fucking complicated to operate? Every other piece of heating equipment in my kitchen has a theme. KNOBS!!!!! Simple, easy, no misunderstanding. But the microwave, it needs two dozen buttons that no one every knows how to use unless they read the whole manual and those skills never carry over to another microwave. And why this level of complexity? So they can add a popcorn button! BIG FUCKING DEAL!!!!

    EDIT: While arguing about microwaves on the forum, I overcooked a tray of bacon in the oven. Irony.
    Post edited by George Patches on
  • Two of my friends have a microwave so old that it uses a knob. It is not what I would call "better." Still...very simple. :)

    All those extra buttons are bunk. I don't ever use them. I have a good idea of how long something should be cooked and what relative power level I should use. I rarely have a problem cooking anything in the microwave, but I do pull things out and check them occasionally when I'm making something new or something that needs to be stirred.

    My pet peeve is microwave buttons that are hard to push. I shouldn't have to get a screwdriver out and gouge a hole into the button pad for the pressure to register, and buttons should be big enough for a man's finger. If the buttons are too small for MY hands, they are damn sure going to be difficult for a guy with fat fingers.

    I think the popcorn button is actually counter-productive; it contributes to people burning their popcorn more often because they push it and walk away instead of following the friggin' instructions on the bag. Likewise, the other buttons remove the necessity of actual knowledge of how to work the microwave's basic functions from the user, which makes actual *cooking* in the microwave more difficult.

    There are entire cookbooks based on making meals entirely in the microwave. It can be done. I like to make delicious chicken and potatoes that way. It is quite easy.
  • That's another pet peeve of mine. Why the hell are microwaves so fucking complicated to operate? Every other piece of heating equipment in my kitchen has a theme. KNOBS!!!!! Simple, easy, no misunderstanding. But the microwave, it needs two dozen buttons that no one every knows how to use unless they read the whole manual and those skills never carry over to another microwave. And why this level of complexity? So they can add a popcorn button! BIG FUCKING DEAL!!!!
    Eh... what's so hard about microwaves? Click all but the start button once when you get it for the first time and done, you know how the thing works from a to z. Seriously, press proper picture (these are pretty darned universal as far as I have seen microwaves), follow the microwave specific setting (either press button again or turn knob) to set temperature/wattage/whatever, turn knob/push +time buttons to set time, push start. If done, open door, some microwaves require you to click the off button.
    My pet peeve is microwave buttons that are hard to push. I shouldn't have to get a screwdriver out and gouge a hole into the button pad for the pressure to register, and buttons should be big enough for a man's finger. If the buttons are too small for MY hands, they are damn sure going to be difficult for a guy with fat fingers.
    I really want to see pictures of your microwave.
  • image
    That's what you get for your gorgeous weather the rest of the year. :P
  • Pretty sure I just didn't get the part in the sketch troupe I just auditioned for. Fuck life, need beer.
  • This fail is more on the school I work for than me.

    I work at an after school program that is run by my dad at a private school in CT. We basically look after the lower school kids (Pre K-6) who's parents cant come pick them up right at 3. Starting this year we are going to do all day "Fun Days" for most of the days when the school will be on vacation. My dad had these brochures for the fun days and for the normal program put together to be sent to the parents with the forms and information packets form the school at the beginning of the school year and planned to know exactly who would be coming the normal program and the fun days. Well we just found out that the brochures for both never went out. So we have parents from last year calling us about why Extended Day is canceled, he has to give the brochures to the teachers to pass out who, of course, don't do that. And for some reason when parents call the front office they are told Extended Day is cancelled when its not. Worse part is the blame for all of this is being put on my dad. And now its kind of scaring me that we could be cut due to low attendance.
  • Got to the dealership to pick up the van. Turned the key and the check engine light goes on.... and stays on.
    I left the dealership in my rental car that I will need to continue to rent for an unknown amount of time.
    Poop sticks.
  • Poop sticks.
    It does.
  • Got to the dealership to pick up the van. Turned the key and the check engine light goes on.... and stays on.
    I left the dealership in my rental car that I will need to continue to rent for an unknown amount of time.
    Poop sticks.
    Wonderful Korean engineering?
  • Poop sticks.
    It does.
    You made me snort iced coffee at work.
  • Got to the dealership to pick up the van. Turned the key and the check engine light goes on.... and stays on.
    I left the dealership in my rental car that I will need to continue to rent for an unknown amount of time.
    Poop sticks.
    Wonderful Korean engineering?
    No, American. It is a Dodge Caravan.
  • No, American. It is a Dodge Caravan.
    Oh no, you bought one of those! My prayers are with you. :'(
  • edited September 2009
    My parent's '96 Dodge Caravan lasted over 200,000 miles. They gave it us and we drove it for quite some time before it eventually passed on to beep-beep heaven. I regularly carted friends, dogs, luggage, and furniture (and within the lifetime of the vehicle, we will probably have a wee one that will take up space) and I wanted a car that wouldn't be incredibly inefficient with gas, so a 4 cylinder Dodge Caravan was the best option for price point, need and overall value (since I drive cars until they die). I bought it at a time when there was a great incentive that coupled nicely with my substantial employee discount. Add to that that the dealership took our trade in for a bit more than it was worth and the vehicle has a lifetime power-train warranty and it was the perfect vehicle for us.
    Post edited by Kate Monster on
  • edited September 2009
    Got my car back from the mechanic 5 days ago from extensive engine work. Today as I'm about to go to lunch, I turn the key... and nothing. Now I have to wait for the dude to come by and see if its something small that can be fixed on the spot, or if it's back to the shop.
    Post edited by MrRoboto on
  • and it was the perfect vehicle for us.
    Except for the breaking.
  • Got my car back from the mechanic 5 days ago from extensive engine work. Today as I'm about to go to lunch, I turn the key... and nothing. Now I have to wait for the dude to come by and see if its something small that can be fixed on the spot, or if it's back to the shop.
    Care to elaborate, I'm good at troubleshooting these things.
  • The key turns all the way, panel lights up, gauges move, battery is at 12volts, gas is at 50% everything works, as I turn to ignition, it stops half-way and doesn't even try to start, no sound no nothing.
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