Don't get me wrong. I love the Cos. But having him stand in the middle of an arena and yell platitudes at me about why I should Change the World and Make It a Better Place is not my idea of a good time.
First: Money is the only thing that motivates me at work. Deal with it. I am not here to change the world or make the company the best it can be. I am here to provide labor in return for cash. Cash. Moolah. The green.
One of my saddest memories is working construction for a K-Mart over the summer after my freshman year at RIT. Every morning, they'd line up all the employees and make them sing a cheer. If they didn't do it loud enough, they'd make them do it again. There was this misguided notion that they could improve morale with anything other than money.
It was degrading. The looks on their faces were such a mix of rage and sorrow, coupled with impotence.
If I ran a K-Mart, my "morning cheer" would amount to "You all hate being here, and so do I. Someday, I hope you'll get the opportunity to get a leg up and get the hell out of here. If you can't, or until you do, I'll do my best to make this experience as painless as possible."
You should go and cosplay. Dress as Dr. Cliff Huxtable. Wear an awesome sweater and carry around a backpack full of Jello pudding snack packs that you hand out to people. Or just to mess with everyone cosplay as something that has nothing to do with the convention at all. Like be a jedi or storm trooper.
Assuming everyone pays this $1.95 instead of the $9.95 for the office, and that they fill the place up, that's $40,000. How can they possibly afford to pay the speaking fees for all of these people as well as pay for the venue?
Assuming everyone pays this $1.95 instead of the $9.95 for the office, and that they fill the place up, that's $40,000. How can they possibly afford to pay the speaking fees for all of these people as well as pay for the venue?
"If you really want to go in style, get VIP tickets! We'll get you right in front of the stage, in on the action and super close to the superstars!
Also, remember to order The GET MOTIVATED! Seminar workbook for you and everyone in your office. The workbook is loaded with inspirational articles written by our celebrity speakers and informative articles to help you achieve success. You'll also get interactive outlines of the speakers' presentations, a certificate of completion suitable for framing and much more."
Assuming everyone pays this $1.95 instead of the $9.95 for the office, and that they fill the place up, that's $40,000. How can they possibly afford to pay the speaking fees for all of these people as well as pay for the venue?
Terry Bradshaw alone asks more than 40 grand for a speaking engagement.
In fact, looking at the list only makes it more likely that this is shady as fuck - Bradshaw - $40,000 and up Brian Tracey - $20,000 (And also has his own seminar about how to become a motivational speaker, and charge people a shitload of money for your happyvibes) Goldie Hawn - $50,000 and up Colin Powell - Not explicitly stated where I've found, but varies by location, and seems to be in the $50,000 and up range. Has been noted previously to have charged up to $200,000. Also, they Call him General Colin Powell, which is inaccurate - he retired in the 80s, and thus, no longer holds any such rank. Bill Cosby - $100,000 and up. Rick Belluzzo - Presumably no fee on this occasion, as he runs the company that is throwing the whole deal. Rudy Giuliani - $100,000 and up, plus private jet travel to and from location. Stanley McChrystal - $30,000 to $100,000. Again, he's retired, so it's not in any way accurate or honest to call him a General - He does not hold that rank at this time. Lou Holz - $50,000 and up.
So, Basically, for a single engagement with all of those speakers, live, would cost $440,000 in speaker's fees alone. Add to that Travel expenses, accommodation, and sundries, plus venue and staff hire. On top of that - most of these people work through agencies other than GET MOTIVATED SEMINARS.
Doing a brief investigation, this has me interested.
I think I am going to puke. My boss just sent me an email saying he is sending our office to some dumbfucking motivational seminar in May, featuring Bill Cosby, Terry Bradshaw, Goldie Hawn, Colin Powell, and others.
First: Money is the only thing that motivates me at work. Deal with it. I am not here to change the world or make the company the best it can be. I am here to provide labor in return for cash. Cash. Moolah. The green.
Second: I am not a rah-rah-sis-boom-bah kind of guy. I do not cheer. I do not clap. Do not send me to some high-energy bullshit conference, because that's not me. I am not going to be engaged or involved in some stupid motivational talk. It just won't happen.
Third: DANGER, WILL ROBINSON. TICKETS ARE $1.95 PER PERSON OR $9.95 FOR AN ENTIRE OFFICE. DANGER. DANGER. DANGER.
Do you at least get paid to go to this? If so, bring a book and relax or something. Find ways to sneak out like saying you're going to the bathroom, and instead just sit in the lobby and read that book...or something. Or can you use a sick day? I mean... if you get sick, you could risk getting the famous people sick, and that would be bad.
Alrighty, then, that wasn't too hard - Looks like this is the classic Timeshare scam, AKA, A bait-and-switch combined with High-pressure sales and marketing. You can get tickets that cost extra - VIP tickets, which are vastly more expensive, $24.95 dollar workbooks($4.95, but you can only buy one by paying a $20 dollar membership fee. At the door tickets are hundreds of dollars, And the Famous motivational speakers are only a small portion of the event - The bait - and after a famous speaker get the crowd going and motivated, they're quickly switched out for a succession of get rich quick scams, timeshares, and other high-pressure sales scams, seminars, and the like - including a regular speaker at these events, Phil Towne, who peddles the Investools stocks software and market strategies program, which I don't need to be Rym to tell you is an utter fucking scam(Though, rym, I would appreciate if you could explain how and why in better than I'm capable of), to the point where they've been investigated by the Securities and trading commission. As soon as the crowd's enthusiasim starts to wane, they trot out another famous speaker to get them stoked again, and out come the Multi-level marketers, Morgage and real estate schemers and stock market system peddlers once more.
Get Motivated then, on top of what they collect from tickets and booklets, take a comission from every single scam product sold at the seminar, and with convention halls of 20-50 thousand, you can bet that's no small amount of suckers in every crowd.
Also, in a slightly amusing twist for your line of work, Jason(My impression is that you're a journalist, I might be wrong, I can't recall clearly what you do), is that Media are generally banned from the events entirely, and when I had a quick word to my ever-present partner-n-really-good-crimes Max, he noted that his journalism professor was actually promptly threatened with legal action if he dared publish a story on them that told the simple truth of the matter about the scams being peddled, and what actually happens on the day.
My Advice - Do Not go, and if it doesn't threaten your job or relations with your boss, tell your boss about this being a scam, tell him what happens there, and provide some evidence alongside that, if necessary.
BMW Racing Engineer 1 - "I can't see how we can make these cars any cooler without compromising performance." BMW engineer 2 - "DaDaNaNaNaNaNaNa DaDaNaNaNaNaNaNa"
Well, looks like Benjamin Beever's been struck from the UK teaching register for unacceptable professional conduct - apparently, because he slapped a lass on the thighs and rubbed her stomach. He was also accused of tickling her, but that wasn't proven. Also, Shoving a year 7 student, grabbing another student by the wrist, intimidating an IT technician, allowing students to climb and jump from a wall without protective equipment, and using the word bollocks in an email.
Though, by all reports, he seemed a pretty good bloke, and apparently ran an after school class in juggling and circus skills. Seems all a very strange situation.
Oh, and also, here's an Arkansas bluegrass cover of the Mario theme.
Comments
There are people dyin'. But if you care about the living...
It was degrading. The looks on their faces were such a mix of rage and sorrow, coupled with impotence.
If I ran a K-Mart, my "morning cheer" would amount to "You all hate being here, and so do I. Someday, I hope you'll get the opportunity to get a leg up and get the hell out of here. If you can't, or until you do, I'll do my best to make this experience as painless as possible."
Also, remember to order The GET MOTIVATED! Seminar workbook for you and everyone in your office. The workbook is loaded with inspirational articles written by our celebrity speakers and informative articles to help you achieve success. You'll also get interactive outlines of the speakers' presentations, a certificate of completion suitable for framing and much more."
In fact, looking at the list only makes it more likely that this is shady as fuck -
Bradshaw - $40,000 and up
Brian Tracey - $20,000 (And also has his own seminar about how to become a motivational speaker, and charge people a shitload of money for your happyvibes)
Goldie Hawn - $50,000 and up
Colin Powell - Not explicitly stated where I've found, but varies by location, and seems to be in the $50,000 and up range. Has been noted previously to have charged up to $200,000. Also, they Call him General Colin Powell, which is inaccurate - he retired in the 80s, and thus, no longer holds any such rank.
Bill Cosby - $100,000 and up.
Rick Belluzzo - Presumably no fee on this occasion, as he runs the company that is throwing the whole deal.
Rudy Giuliani - $100,000 and up, plus private jet travel to and from location.
Stanley McChrystal - $30,000 to $100,000. Again, he's retired, so it's not in any way accurate or honest to call him a General - He does not hold that rank at this time.
Lou Holz - $50,000 and up.
So, Basically, for a single engagement with all of those speakers, live, would cost $440,000 in speaker's fees alone. Add to that Travel expenses, accommodation, and sundries, plus venue and staff hire. On top of that - most of these people work through agencies other than GET MOTIVATED SEMINARS.
Doing a brief investigation, this has me interested.
Or can you use a sick day? I mean... if you get sick, you could risk getting the famous people sick, and that would be bad.
Get Motivated then, on top of what they collect from tickets and booklets, take a comission from every single scam product sold at the seminar, and with convention halls of 20-50 thousand, you can bet that's no small amount of suckers in every crowd.
Also, in a slightly amusing twist for your line of work, Jason(My impression is that you're a journalist, I might be wrong, I can't recall clearly what you do), is that Media are generally banned from the events entirely, and when I had a quick word to my ever-present partner-n-really-good-crimes Max, he noted that his journalism professor was actually promptly threatened with legal action if he dared publish a story on them that told the simple truth of the matter about the scams being peddled, and what actually happens on the day.
My Advice - Do Not go, and if it doesn't threaten your job or relations with your boss, tell your boss about this being a scam, tell him what happens there, and provide some evidence alongside that, if necessary.
BMW engineer 2 - "DaDaNaNaNaNaNaNa DaDaNaNaNaNaNaNa"
I could watch this for a good period of time.
Though, by all reports, he seemed a pretty good bloke, and apparently ran an after school class in juggling and circus skills. Seems all a very strange situation.
Oh, and also, here's an Arkansas bluegrass cover of the Mario theme.