It has now been four summers since Rym and Scott asked for guest episodes to fill the schedule while they went to Otakon and the annual Jersey shore trip. I recorded one, but it has never been used. Anyone want to hear a Tuesday episode about the German competitive puzzle games Set and Ricochet Robots?
It has now been four summers since Rym and Scott asked for guest episodes to fill the schedule while they went to Otakon and the annual Jersey shore trip. I recorded one, but it has never been used. Anyone want to hear a Tuesday episode about the German competitive puzzle games Set and Ricochet Robots?
I told Rym to use it just recently. You know how that turned out.
How insulting is it to ask for separate checks at the end of a first date? It wasn't a horrible date, but it wasn't good enough that I felt the need to pick up the check.
How insulting is it to ask for separate checks at the end of a first date? It wasn't a horrible date, but it wasn't good enough that I felt the need to pick up the check.
First dates sold be dutch anyway, right? Unless, you really wanted to impress the other.
How insulting is it to ask for separate checks at the end of a first date? It wasn't a horrible date, but it wasn't good enough that I felt the need to pick up the check.
It might be a generational thing (I am an old man at 40), but I'd think it would be quite insulting. I'd like to think my younger self would pick up the tab, drop the not-so-great date off (no smoochy-smoochy or fucky-fucky unless you are a right bastard/bitch), and go home. Any interest shown by the other party later would be gently but firmly deflected.
I'd say very insulting. If you don't want a second date, ask to split the bill. Thankfully on my last bad date (which I only got into accidentally) I didn't pay for her food, but that was just the course of the bad date, not any plan on my part.
First dates sold be dutch anyway, right? Unless, you really wanted to impress the other.
They should be, but often they're not. I'm not sure how I feel about needing to add a disclaimer before a first date.
I offer to pay if I'm interested in the person, and I think the date is going well. If she accepts them I assume ,often incorrectly, that she feels the same way. If she declines and pays her share, I get that she's not intersted.
If you don't want a second date, ask to split the bill.
This was my intent. I agree it's insulting, but I don't feel like spending money someone I'm not interested in seeing again.
First dates sold be dutch anyway, right? Unless, you really wanted to impress the other.
They should be, but often they're not. I'm not sure how I feel about needing to add a disclaimer before a first date.
I offer to pay if I'm interested in the person, and I think the date is going well. If she accepts them I assume ,often incorrectly, that she feels the same way. If she declines and pays her share, I get that she's not intersted.
It's funny - I don't think I've ever paid for someone else's meal during the first few dates. Once we're "dating," I tend to pay for meals more frequently.
I offer to pay if I'm interested in the person, and I think the date is going well. If she accepts them I assume ,often incorrectly, that she feels the same way. If she declines and pays her share, I get that she's not intersted.
I think it's only gentlemanly to pay on the first date.
Actually, the women I've been most interested in believe in gender equality. She should be just as likely to pay as me, or we would go dutch. This is precisely how it goes with my friends. I might pick up one meal, the friend might pick up the next, and sometimes we'll split just for the fuck of it.
I am not interested in a woman who carries the expectation or desire that I pay for her meal, unless she's willing to do the same later. It implies she buys into a gender imbalance which I do not buy.
I have met some women who find a man offering to pay for their food insulting. They are independent and make money, so their interpretation is that a male is devaluing their work and monetary gain. It'd be like saying "Well that's cute that you have a job and make your own money and can pay for this meal now, but eventually you'll be my bitch and I'll be paying everything for you later anyway." I can absolutely see this interpretation. The whole concept of man paying for woman's food comes from a time when that was exactly the case.
When I offer to pay for the meal of someone I'm not close enough friends with (first date would count), I always say "you can get the next one."
On the rare few times I've gone on a date, it's always been dutch, with the understanding going in that it's going to be dutch. And I think that's the big point; if you're both going in with the understanding that it is what it is, then there should be no drama.
It has now been four summers since Rym and Scott asked for guest episodes to fill the schedule while they went to Otakon and the annual Jersey shore trip. I recorded one, but it has never been used. Anyone want to hear a Tuesday episode about the German competitive puzzle games Set and Ricochet Robots?
Aww man, other people know Ricochet Robots? I've only played it once, but I'd love to hear other peoples thoughts on it.
It has now been four summers since Rym and Scott asked for guest episodes to fill the schedule while they went to Otakon and the annual Jersey shore trip. I recorded one, but it has never been used. Anyone want to hear a Tuesday episode about the German competitive puzzle games Set and Ricochet Robots?
Aww man, other people know Ricochet Robots? I've only played it once, but I'd love to hear other peoples thoughts on it.
It has now been four summers since Rym and Scott asked for guest episodes to fill the schedule while they went to Otakon and the annual Jersey shore trip. I recorded one, but it has never been used. Anyone want to hear a Tuesday episode about the German competitive puzzle games Set and Ricochet Robots?
Aww man, other people know Ricochet Robots? I've only played it once, but I'd love to hear other peoples thoughts on it.
I'm not proud of being male, straight, or white, if anything I'm deeply ashamed of my privilege and the way people like me have fucked up society.
You can't control what members of your group do. You can only control what you do. I guess be cool and proud of yourself if you are a nice person, don't feel bad for who you are. The problem is when you are proud BECAUSE you are male/straight/white/etc. It's not like I walk around saying "I'm proud that I am straight!" but that is a part of who I am and I will not be ashamed of something that I can't change. I will be proud of myself for the deeds I do. I will not feel proud or ashamed of things that are not my fault. Also, Patriotism is just love for or devotion to one's country. It's just national favoritism, and can run the gamut from "My country is cool and great!" to nationalistic fervor.
You can't control what members of your group do. You can only control what you do. I guess be cool and proud of yourself if you are a nice person, don't feel bad for who you are. The problem is when you are proud BECAUSE you are male/straight/white/etc. It's not like I walk around saying "I'm proud that I am straight!" but that is a part of who I am and I will not be ashamed of something that I can't change. I will be proud of myself for the deeds I do. I will not feel proud or ashamed of things that are not my fault.
George Carlin had a big long joke about this, but basically I agree with Emily here. The idea that somehow you're worse than somebody else because you're white/male/a geek/straight/purple with orange liverspots is no different, fundamentally, than thinking that somebody else is worse off because they're any of those things. Racism/sexism/discrimination based on sexual orientation turned inward is only about a half step better than those things turned externally, and only then because at least you're not lynching people for it.
We don't progress from bad origins by destroying those who did the evil; we do it by progressing beyond the need for it.
It's funny - I don't think I've ever paid for someone else's meal during the first few dates. Once we're "dating," I tend to pay for meals more frequently.
My two relationships have been this way too. But at the same time, I wouldn't really consider anything I've done with either girl an actual "date". Either way, both girls have been insistent about paying for themselves cause they don't want to feel like they're being dependent on someone. So I don't really have to worry about it since they're the ones who ask for the separate checks.
I'd like to take this opportunity to laugh at the fact that the posts trying to tell me I don't have to feel bad about belonging to oppressive classes are interspersed with a discussion about gendered expectations for picking up the tab.
I'd like to take this opportunity to laugh at the fact that the posts trying to tell me I don't have to feel bad about belonging to oppressive classes are interspersed with a discussion about gendered expectations for picking up the tab.
Except you don't belong to oppressive classes. Are you currently keeping slaves? Are you currently saying that we shouldn't let blacks get hire up in the workforce? Are you saying that women are stupid? No. A whole bunch of guys in the (unfortunately recent) past said and did those things, and they happened to look like you. Just because someone with a penis is saying that women should throw themselves on a funeral pyre because her husband died doesn't mean that I'm bad by association because I have a penis. I can only be "bad" (I'm going very simplistic good and evil by the standards of the Northeast of the United States of America, just because it makes this easier) if I personally perform an action that's bad, or personally use a bad system to get an advantage. But that's the thing. I'm not. Other people with similar genotypes, or who shared a few genetic markers for skin tone, did those things. They are the oppressive class. You're just a nice guy with a bad case of liberal guilt.
I'd like to take this opportunity to laugh at the fact that the posts trying to tell me I don't have to feel bad about belonging to oppressive classes are interspersed with a discussion about gendered expectations for picking up the tab.
The dating discussion has a non-male chauvinist slant. The social convention is that the one extending the invitation ("would you be free to join me for dinner?") is the one expected to pay, absent some other understanding. Since typically the man made the invitation, he would be on the hook. The woman was free to accept or decline the invitation, and incurred no obligation (body or soul) beyond being polite company for the evening.
Fortunately, the tradition that women will sit in silence awaiting invitations seems to have more or less died. It was waning when I was a teenager. Nothing to do with women being weaker, but with the traditional expectations of who would initiate a date. The modern way is better.
You see the sails of a sailing ship before you see the hull as it passes over the horizon.
Also, I think you can see the earth's shadow on the moon during a lunar eclipse, and mathematically plotting the motion of planets in the sky means that the earth can only be round and rotating around the sun. You can see the curvature of the earth without going into space with a plane.
I wonder how many people here can tell me why the earth is round and how to prove it without outer space photography, without looking it up.
Ah, well let's do it the original way. Put a stick in the ground and measure the angle of the shadow at noon. Now, either travel north or south for about 3-5 days by camel, horse, or somesuch. Do it again. The angle is different.
EDIT: I think you might need a third measurement to prove surface of a sphere rather than surface of a square, but I feel like the rising and falling of the sun adds something extra to eliminate that need somehow. DBL EDIT: oh apparently the stick shadow thing is how you measure the earth's circumference as well. Here are some other answers.
Except you don't belong to oppressive classes. Are you currently keeping slaves? Are you currently saying that we shouldn't let blacks get hire up in the workforce? Are you saying that women are stupid? No. A whole bunch of guys in the (unfortunately recent) past said and did those things, and they happened to look like you. Just because someone with a penis is saying that women should throw themselves on a funeral pyre because her husband died doesn't mean that I'm bad by association because I have a penis. I can only be "bad" (I'm going very simplistic good and evil by the standards of the Northeast of the United States of America, just because it makes this easier) if I personally perform an action that's bad, or personally use a bad system to get an advantage. But that's the thing. I'm not. Other people with similar genotypes, or who shared a few genetic markers for skin tone, did those things. They are the oppressive class. You're just a nice guy with a bad case of liberal guilt.
You can be a part of the oppressive class whilst fighting against the oppression. You can admit that your group (which is difficult to leave) does bad things without thinking yourself bad as an individual. It is similar to my feelings about being an American. I cannot control the entire country's behavior, but I can try to influence it in a positive direction. I admit that some of my country's behavior is very bad, but that does not mean my behavior is bad in the same ways. As for the fruits of the dire cruelty of past generations (such as the statistical economic privilege that comes with being white and American), the damage is already done. There is nothing to do but try and patch up the wounds, and gradually erase your group's special privilege a little bit at a time in the name of equality. No use hating yourself or feeling guilty. As long as you are conscious of the remaining problems and personally act to right them, you should not be blamed.
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But I haven't dated in 25+ years.
I offer to pay if I'm interested in the person, and I think the date is going well. If she accepts them I assume ,often incorrectly, that she feels the same way. If she declines and pays her share, I get that she's not intersted. This was my intent. I agree it's insulting, but I don't feel like spending money someone I'm not interested in seeing again.
I think you have the right idea Wyatt.
I am not interested in a woman who carries the expectation or desire that I pay for her meal, unless she's willing to do the same later. It implies she buys into a gender imbalance which I do not buy.
I have met some women who find a man offering to pay for their food insulting. They are independent and make money, so their interpretation is that a male is devaluing their work and monetary gain. It'd be like saying "Well that's cute that you have a job and make your own money and can pay for this meal now, but eventually you'll be my bitch and I'll be paying everything for you later anyway." I can absolutely see this interpretation. The whole concept of man paying for woman's food comes from a time when that was exactly the case.
When I offer to pay for the meal of someone I'm not close enough friends with (first date would count), I always say "you can get the next one."
http://www.lukeandpola.com/audio/GeekNights%20-%20Ricochet%20Robots%20and%20Set.mp3
CommentAuthor Apreche- CommentTime Jul 27th 2011
permalinkquoteAlso, Patriotism is just love for or devotion to one's country. It's just national favoritism, and can run the gamut from "My country is cool and great!" to nationalistic fervor.
We don't progress from bad origins by destroying those who did the evil; we do it by progressing beyond the need for it.
Fortunately, the tradition that women will sit in silence awaiting invitations seems to have more or less died. It was waning when I was a teenager. Nothing to do with women being weaker, but with the traditional expectations of who would initiate a date. The modern way is better.
Also, I think you can see the earth's shadow on the moon during a lunar eclipse, and mathematically plotting the motion of planets in the sky means that the earth can only be round and rotating around the sun. You can see the curvature of the earth without going into space with a plane.
EDIT: I think you might need a third measurement to prove surface of a sphere rather than surface of a square, but I feel like the rising and falling of the sun adds something extra to eliminate that need somehow.
DBL EDIT: oh apparently the stick shadow thing is how you measure the earth's circumference as well. Here are some other answers.
As for the fruits of the dire cruelty of past generations (such as the statistical economic privilege that comes with being white and American), the damage is already done. There is nothing to do but try and patch up the wounds, and gradually erase your group's special privilege a little bit at a time in the name of equality. No use hating yourself or feeling guilty. As long as you are conscious of the remaining problems and personally act to right them, you should not be blamed.