Alright, people might excoriate me for this suggestion, but why not consider getting active in /r/Louisville on Reddit? There's around 1500 subscribers, occasional meet ups, and more than a few posts looking for DnD groups or comic nerds on the front page. It'd be a good way to get a feel for the geekier side of the city, at least.
Good idea, Mr. Bird. The only reason I don't do it more is that Louisville is a little over one hundred miles away. I can go there for weekends, but I can't really go there every day. I think I'll try the same thing for Owensboro, Bowling Green, or Evansville, though.
Also, OKCupid is already turning out to be much better than PlentyofFish or Geek2Geek. Thanks.
Happy to help as far as the OKCupid suggestion goes. Reddit might prove to be a decent resource for meeting Kentucky geeks; I thought you were closer to Louisville, but /r/Kentucky should have a directory of other subreddits for that state.
I used to advertise on SoulGeek. I got decent traffic from my ads there. Also, in order to view the site I signed up, and I periodically get emails from the admins alerting people that certain users are horrible spammers. That is all I know about that dating site, but it is one that exists.
Isn't OKCupid the best one, the one that was started by smart nerds and uses good algos to find matches? Seriously, I don't understand the constant need to pair up. I am one of those quirkyalone chicks who is fine by herself, but if she happens into a relationship, bonus! That doesn't mean I wasn't interested in guys or that I didn't think it would be awesome to make out with someone in high school, but I was like Scott, busy with my own interests, and having a good time of it. When I got into a relationship, it was like "Allright! More fun stuff!" What are you looking to get from a relationship? Like, what is it that you are craving so much that it is driving you nuts? If it is just talking to people and companionship, there are other things you can do than just trying to find a single person of the opposite sex to mack on. Just get out of the house and get involved. Politics, volunteer work, things like Hiking, or biking, or comic conventions. There are all sorts of communities that you could try out. I'm just saying putting the sex in the mix right away makes the primary interest sex. That could lead to some hookups, but also to drama and possibly not a fulfilling relationship. Fill your life with interesting hobbies, socialize a bunch, and how could you be lonely or bored unless you have depression chemicals, which hooking up will not fix anyway.
I like the idea of OKcupid. There match making system is really sophisticated and interesting. I just wish I got some messages or replies, but that's more a personal problem. :P
George, why do you think you need a girl friend, too? Why do you obsess about it, rather than going and befriending women?
He has befriended women. Obviously, that does not fully satisfy his needs - and I do not mean simply carnal needs. Some people greatly desire a deep and lasting connection with a mate. Friendship is a great place to start that and (I believe) is a necessary basis for truly healthy and happy long term romantic relationships; however, wanting more is valid and seeking it out (via social situations, matching sites, etc.) is the proactive approach to attaining the desired end (as opposed to moping about it or relying on "magical thinking" that a woman will just turn up at his doorstep).
There is no shame in feeling lonely, no matter how many friends one may have. Desiring a greater/different bond is just as acceptable as not desiring it; to each his/her own.
Yeah, but most of us just kind of got this way by hanging out and being casual. Most of the dating site relationships have been short.
Well I haven't had any dating site relationships yet, so we'll see how it goes. Also, I'm just not sure how else to meet the ladies even just to be friends. I don't have many friends in the area.
Yeah, but most of us just kind of got this way by hanging out and being casual. Most of the dating site relationships have been short.
The vast majority of relationships (whether initiated online or not) are short. More to the point, the entire purpose of most dating sites is to meet people and find out if you are compatible. Anecdotally, I have a few friends that met their mates or their long term partners via online dating (some after a few years of dating people that they met both off and online).
The FRC is not a great sample set. Most of us met our mates in college and paired off then or shortly afterward We were lucky enough to meet compatible people at a young age. Post-college social situations are vastly different and do not so readily provide self-selected groups based on interest and contain mostly single individuals of both genders.
Post-college social situations are vastly different and do not so readily provide self-selected groups based on interest and contain mostly single individuals of both genders.
Well. I guess that depends on your definition of readily. Here's my strategy: go to lots of cons, talk to lots of people, select a group of people from your con friends with whom you would like to live, move (far from home?) in order to live near that group of people, and then hook up with a member of that group.
You can replace "go to cons and talk to people" with "go online and talk to people" and get a pretty good substitute.
The key is the moving bit. That's harder to do in the middle of college or employment. Taking advantage of a transitional time to relocate to your self-selected group is key.
That's really what it boils down to. You have to put yourself in situations where you interact. Talk to a lot of people, hang out with compatible people, make out with super compatible people.
I mean, I am not a generally social person, but I force myself to take part in scenarios where I have to interact with a bunch of individuals I don't know, like at animation club, and it ends up being very fun! Some of them I remain friends with, maybe not FRC level, but we are chill and I would feel glad going to a movie or event with them. Example: I went to a dinner put on by Rym's company and one of the girls there was really cool. She speaks Finnish and sews/crafts a lot (even cosplays too) and is going to PAX. She was really funny and interesting. I did not go into the event expecting anything, but talking over dinner revealed that a bunch of the assembled people had interesting interests and I hope to talk to them again.
I think the problem is that George is shy and he seems to have a hard time talking to people he does not know at cons and stuff. Rym just talks to/invites people to game and then flirts with them. I think George waits to long to work up his nerve to ask girls anything.
I think the problem is that George is shy and he seems to have a hard time talking to people he does not know at cons and stuff. Rym just talks to/invites people to game and then flirts with them. I think George waits to long to work up his nerve to ask girls anything.
Ya think? :P George is very shy when he doesn't know people.
Joe, give okcupid a try. Half my problem is probably my terrible profile cause I suck at writing.
George just needs a wingman. We were discussing this last night. George needs a Barney (ala How I Met Your Mother) to walk up to the ladies and say, "HI. Have you met George?"
I concur on the getting out and making friends advice. If you stop focusing on trying to find a romantic relationship, you can focus on other things like making friendly relationships based on compatibility rather than "I would totally do you..." and then stumble upon someone awesome you may not have noticed.
I've always been a band nerd so I've gotten to meet and hang out with lots of people. I met Andrew at band. I didn't think much of him at first, but then we started talking a lot bc we marched next to each other, and I realized he was funny and cool. And we kept talking outside of band as friends (AIM, hehe), and I realized he was totally amazing and developed a crush. And now we're together!
Yeah, I get the friends thing and stuff. That's one of the reasons I'm here and not somewhere like Austin, TX. I already have a large group of good friends here.
However, if you suddenly go from constantly living with someone for 15 years to living by yourself, there seems to be something missing.
Comments
Also, OKCupid is already turning out to be much better than PlentyofFish or Geek2Geek. Thanks.
Seriously, I don't understand the constant need to pair up. I am one of those quirkyalone chicks who is fine by herself, but if she happens into a relationship, bonus! That doesn't mean I wasn't interested in guys or that I didn't think it would be awesome to make out with someone in high school, but I was like Scott, busy with my own interests, and having a good time of it. When I got into a relationship, it was like "Allright! More fun stuff!"
What are you looking to get from a relationship? Like, what is it that you are craving so much that it is driving you nuts? If it is just talking to people and companionship, there are other things you can do than just trying to find a single person of the opposite sex to mack on. Just get out of the house and get involved. Politics, volunteer work, things like Hiking, or biking, or comic conventions. There are all sorts of communities that you could try out. I'm just saying putting the sex in the mix right away makes the primary interest sex. That could lead to some hookups, but also to drama and possibly not a fulfilling relationship.
Fill your life with interesting hobbies, socialize a bunch, and how could you be lonely or bored unless you have depression chemicals, which hooking up will not fix anyway.
There is no shame in feeling lonely, no matter how many friends one may have. Desiring a greater/different bond is just as acceptable as not desiring it; to each his/her own.
The FRC is not a great sample set. Most of us met our mates in college and paired off then or shortly afterward We were lucky enough to meet compatible people at a young age. Post-college social situations are vastly different and do not so readily provide self-selected groups based on interest and contain mostly single individuals of both genders.
You can replace "go to cons and talk to people" with "go online and talk to people" and get a pretty good substitute.
The key is the moving bit. That's harder to do in the middle of college or employment. Taking advantage of a transitional time to relocate to your self-selected group is key.
I mean, I am not a generally social person, but I force myself to take part in scenarios where I have to interact with a bunch of individuals I don't know, like at animation club, and it ends up being very fun! Some of them I remain friends with, maybe not FRC level, but we are chill and I would feel glad going to a movie or event with them. Example: I went to a dinner put on by Rym's company and one of the girls there was really cool. She speaks Finnish and sews/crafts a lot (even cosplays too) and is going to PAX. She was really funny and interesting. I did not go into the event expecting anything, but talking over dinner revealed that a bunch of the assembled people had interesting interests and I hope to talk to them again.
I think the problem is that George is shy and he seems to have a hard time talking to people he does not know at cons and stuff. Rym just talks to/invites people to game and then flirts with them. I think George waits to long to work up his nerve to ask girls anything.
Joe, give okcupid a try. Half my problem is probably my terrible profile cause I suck at writing.
I've always been a band nerd so I've gotten to meet and hang out with lots of people. I met Andrew at band. I didn't think much of him at first, but then we started talking a lot bc we marched next to each other, and I realized he was funny and cool. And we kept talking outside of band as friends (AIM, hehe), and I realized he was totally amazing and developed a crush. And now we're together!
Just wanted to help you out, bro.
All you need to know.
However, if you suddenly go from constantly living with someone for 15 years to living by yourself, there seems to be something missing.
Also, I really, really like teh womens.