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Life After Divorce

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  • The real sun has ceased hibernation and is back on the job. Just go outside.
    Says you. Yesterday it rained, then hailed like crazy, followed by more rain and winds with sun breaks.

    It's ok though. I can deal. I'm not ready for shorts weather.
  • I was just about to post about how you might as well just take a vacation to Chernobyl. Then I noticed your prediction. Good job Nostradamus.
    If I were Nostradamus, I wouldn't be so surprised that my first choice was disturbingly accurate. Then again, it's been nearly five years, and you're not exactly unpredictable. Still, with your oompa-loompa comparison, at least I can say I know the difference between Spray Tan and regular Tan on more than the purely mechanical level implied by the name.

    Then again, I must express extreme concern that I understand the way you think well enough that I can predict these things three years out. Shit is way more dangerous than a tanning bed.
    Meh. I grew up on a farm, surrounded by all kinds of shit shat out by all kinds of different species, so I have lots of natural resistances built up - but I'll probably stop going anyway, seeing as now I'm all paranoid.

    Next time I find something I enjoy, I'm not telling anyone. Maybe then I'll be able to enjoy myself without learning how dangerous my new enjoyment can be.
    Something like that, yeah.

    I don't mind telling people around here the things I enjoy, even if they want to tell me how dangerous it is. I'm not going to base what I do with myself on what the forum thinks of it - I value y'all's opinions, but that doesn't mean I have to do what you say. Calculated risks are a part of life - at one point, the cost/benefit ratio for having a session on a tanning bed was enough towards the benefit side of the equation that it was worth the small time cost for a new experience. When I had to pay for it and it was not a new experience, it did not.
  • So, here's a question: Should I bring something like flowers? I don't think so, because then she'd have to walk around the show for the rest of the day carrying flowers. Is there anything else that would be appropriate and not creepy?
    No flowers. Bring your dog. Time with poodle>flowers. I think that is good enough for now. If you wanted to be cute, you could give her a packet of wildflower seeds. It is the perfect season for that, and it is very portable. She can choose to plant or not plant them at her leisure, and you can tell her the actual rational behind it.

    A good present for later on is a book. A book says a lot about you, and it provides a lot of enjoyment. I think books are way more romantic than flowers.

    Also, just get a sunlamp and a heat pillow that you can put in the microwave. Tanning beds are way crappy for your skin and you will get wrinkly faster.
  • The man wrestled raptors for food and you think he gets wrinkles? Bwahahaha.
  • [insert anti-tanning rant here]

    Do what you want; you're old anyway. :p

    In all seriousness, flowers are awkward, cliched, and borderline prosaic for going on dates. They are best as an out of the blue gift or when going to someone's place for dinner (as is a good wine or dessert).

    For a first date don't bring a gift unless it is small and based on a piece of personal information you know about a person (a pocket-sized book of poetry by their favorite poet, a nice blend of tea if she is a tea drinker, etc.) However, gifts on a first date are tricky and -unless there is some protocol I am unaware of- unnecessary.
    Just be prompt (I am sure you will be), appropriately dressed for the activity/atmosphere (it sounds like you will be), groomed (you seem to be well manscaped), and relaxed. An enjoyable time out is its own gift.
  • She's perfect. Now I'm only afraid that I might screw things up.
  • She's perfect. Now I'm only afraid that I might screw things up.
    Awesome! I was actually thinking about how you were doing while I was in physics class the other day; I didn't want to add any pressure, so I held off on asking.

    I think you'll be fine. You're a great guy, Joe, and if you're already getting on well, things should go smoothly.
  • George just needs a wingman. We were discussing this last night. George needs a Barney (ala How I Met Your Mother) to walk up to the ladies and say, "HI. Have you met George?"
    My friend Darius does that for me, but then literally pushes me into groups of girls. It's what is colloquially called "bowling for bitches".

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