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Life After Divorce
Okay, so I went through painful despair and depression, and after much drama and acrimony, we decided to just divorce. We are both too tired of drama, and the pain and the hurting and the ... FLAVEN to be anything than agreeable at this point. We've settled all property questions and I have the dog. BUT - in Maryland, even a simple divorce is difficult. Maryland just became a no-fault state in October of 2011, and still requires you to prove that you've lived separate and apart for twelve months before you can eve file.
SO - I moved back to Kentucky, where you only need to be separated for ninety days (after establishing residency) before filing, and, since I know everyone in this partiicular "city", I don't believe they'll even hold me to that. It sucks in many ways, but it will be easier to do trial work here, which is what I like most of all anyway. The entire time I worked in DC, I only did one trial. They spend most of their time dreaming up ways to avoid trial. Here, it's totally different. Of course, there are few historic buildings and not many skyline views, but you can buy a 4,000 square-foot house in the middle of town for 280K (actual house listing I saw this week). When there are about 4,000 unemployed attorneys in DC, this place doesn't sound so bad.
Oh yeah - the internet kinda makes a lot of physicality moot anyway, doesn't it?
Please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes. I'm typing this on my phone.
Also, if anyone knows any female geeks who are looking for dates, I am teh availables.
SO - I moved back to Kentucky, where you only need to be separated for ninety days (after establishing residency) before filing, and, since I know everyone in this partiicular "city", I don't believe they'll even hold me to that. It sucks in many ways, but it will be easier to do trial work here, which is what I like most of all anyway. The entire time I worked in DC, I only did one trial. They spend most of their time dreaming up ways to avoid trial. Here, it's totally different. Of course, there are few historic buildings and not many skyline views, but you can buy a 4,000 square-foot house in the middle of town for 280K (actual house listing I saw this week). When there are about 4,000 unemployed attorneys in DC, this place doesn't sound so bad.
Oh yeah - the internet kinda makes a lot of physicality moot anyway, doesn't it?
Please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes. I'm typing this on my phone.
Also, if anyone knows any female geeks who are looking for dates, I am teh availables.
Post edited by HungryJoe on
Comments
You also have this odd way of making Kentucky sound temporarily appealing.
2) see rule number 1.
3) be happy you both work and don't have kids. Alimony, child support and custody issues prevent the sort of clean break required for healing.
Use it to pick up attractive young undergraduate women. Ideally, they should also have no tops.
Avoid the ones named Mattie. You know where that goes.
/but seriously, best wishes and I hope it works out
//move to New York!
@ Steve - Good advice, but I've been lonely for too long. I'm dating the first acceptable woman I find. I want to find someone who doesn't need to be told the difference between Captain Marvel and Captain Mar-Vell. Of course, that actually may take much longer than the year you mention just in the finding.
Also - I'm having a ball doing things she would not like, such as getting everything in black. Black sheets, black shower curtains, black furniture, etc. If I want a motor cycle, I can damn well get a motorcycle. If I want a pet crow (or raven, ferret, goat, owl, etc.), I can damn well get one. This list can go on and on.
If you feel like talking, or gaming, or whatever feel free to let me know. Or if you want to talk motorcycles (don't get a crotch rocket, you will die. Also don't get a Harley, because you are not an asshole) or whatever.
Also, black everything? Are you going into an emo phase, gonna start writing music about ravens and the darkness within?
Joe, hang in there. You know we support you.
2. Make sure she has some similar interests.
3. Refer back to 1.
4. ??
5. Profit
My fiance doesn't really have any interests that are similar to mine (although we're both very curious about the world around us and are therefore both interested in sciences), but our personalities are incredible compatible. We're both curious about things, tackle problems from a logical and practical perspective, use humor as a tool constantly, and generally just mesh well. I don't know if this relationship will last hundreds of years, but so far it seems like a winning combination.
I do sympathize with what you are going through. A friend of my brother's recently had his marriage of 9 years end with divorce, and while he's remaining positive, you do go through a certain timeframe of anger and trying to put pieces together. But I'm glad that the decision was mutual and you may benefit career wise from a separation. We are open here to listen to and comfort you. Most people get tired of repeating or having such a typical lifestyle, that conflict just kind of stews within us. That, and monogamy is really, REALLY hard and against human nature.
Communication. Free exchange of ideas, loves, hates, and just about everything else will make things go smoother. Once I got over being afraid of letting my nerdy side show, things got a lot smoother. I could play video games, buy nerdy posters, etc. and she'd enjoy them with me (as much as she could) rather than me having a secret shame.