dam! well just say yes to him all the time and immediately not do anything at all then when he returns to get an update on your performance of his tasks use some thinking to fire him at someone that he can tear into who will fuck him up. Or just tell him you don't give a fuck what he has to say about whatever it is - or if you can't make him pissed off at you so he will go away just kick him in the nuts chain him to the back of your car and drive off - problem solved.
This article is very relevant to anyone in this thread who is worried that they're That Guy. TL;DR: you're probably not that bad off if you're already self-aware enough to worry that you're That Guy, and the article lists common concerns of women and some things you can do to further assure that you don't become That Guy.
I found this while browsing /r/boardgames. Five Geek Social Fallacies. It's a tidy list of several social fallacies often at the core of unpleasant group dynamics & worth a read. (Yes, I know it's really old.)
I found this while browsing /r/boardgames. Five Geek Social Fallacies. It's a tidy list of several social fallacies often at the core of unpleasant group dynamics & worth a read. (Yes, I know it's really old.)
I found this while browsing /r/boardgames. Five Geek Social Fallacies. It's a tidy list of several social fallacies often at the core of unpleasant group dynamics & worth a read. (Yes, I know it's really old.)
That is the stone cold truth.
The coldest. I'm only guilty of #4, and only partially so.
Oh man, #1. I've mostly gotten away from that, but it's still a problem in many circles.
See also The Missing Stair (a specific iteration of this problem, but worth reading).
These are definitely truthful. I believe I've distanced myself from most of these except 4, and even then I only do that partially.
I tend to find, as I've gotten older, that I don't exhibit these behaviors myself - but I have to deal with them sometimes in my various social groups.
#4 is only bad if when it doesn't work out it changes your relationships to your friends. However, in reality a lot of times if two friends don't get a long you probably will favor one over the other because of other social stuff.
#5 I tend to fall into because of being an adult, I have limited time to see anyone, so I try and maximize it. Which sometimes even annoys me :-p
I absolutely fall into #4! My wife and I have been the center of our social circles since the day we met. It helped that we were centrally located. Most people we knew from college moved away, but within a two hour circle, with us at the center. We were also the first people to have a house large enough for gatherings. Then when other people got houses, we had a kid, and that became the excuse to have everyone still come here.
We are horrible people who demand you come to our house, not us go to yours. That might be its own problem. Now that the kid is older and everyone is 30+ and settling, we've been trying to loosen up and make sure it's a bit more balanced.
#4 hasn't been a bad thing though. We've rolled new people in all the time, and encourage people to bring their friends that we don't know. We've actually gotten much closer to two couples who were originally introduced to us as friends-of-friends.
And on the topic of geek social gatherings, I didn't start going and hanging out with others outside of our friends and friends-of-friends until around 2009, when I was writing weekly board game reviews, and was trying to hit up every local gaming group within spitting distance in order to get enough plays in. In typical geek gathering fashion, I came away from all of that with I think.... only 1 person from the gaming groups who now comes and hangs out with our hodgepodge of friends.
#5 I also absolutely fall into but it rarely shows itself anymore. If people want to crash for a weekend they are absolutely welcome to. Let's do everything together! But this rarely happens now that we are older. In our mid-20s, it did lead to a few moments where my wife would turn to me on a Sunday night and say "OK, so is so-and-so ever going to leave?"
We are horrible people who demand you come to our house, not us go to yours. That might be its own problem. Now that the kid is older and everyone is 30+ and settling, we've been trying to loosen up and make sure it's a bit more balanced.
Hahah, I'm so bad about this, that a friend invited me to his board gaming night and I had them move it to my house the day of once everyone was there.... ^_^
This starts to change around age 3. Post-crib, putting a toddler to sleep at a decent hour can often lead to said toddler waking up 5 times and walking down the hall asking for a drink, bathroom trip, etc. If you go out to a friend's house, though, they wear themselves out and fall asleep in the car on the way home. Then you just transfer that slumbering rock to the bed with zero risk of it fighting sleep.
Comments
See also The Missing Stair (a specific iteration of this problem, but worth reading).
These are definitely truthful. I believe I've distanced myself from most of these except 4, and even then I only do that partially.
I tend to find, as I've gotten older, that I don't exhibit these behaviors myself - but I have to deal with them sometimes in my various social groups.
#5 I tend to fall into because of being an adult, I have limited time to see anyone, so I try and maximize it. Which sometimes even annoys me :-p
We are horrible people who demand you come to our house, not us go to yours. That might be its own problem. Now that the kid is older and everyone is 30+ and settling, we've been trying to loosen up and make sure it's a bit more balanced.
#4 hasn't been a bad thing though. We've rolled new people in all the time, and encourage people to bring their friends that we don't know. We've actually gotten much closer to two couples who were originally introduced to us as friends-of-friends.
And on the topic of geek social gatherings, I didn't start going and hanging out with others outside of our friends and friends-of-friends until around 2009, when I was writing weekly board game reviews, and was trying to hit up every local gaming group within spitting distance in order to get enough plays in. In typical geek gathering fashion, I came away from all of that with I think.... only 1 person from the gaming groups who now comes and hangs out with our hodgepodge of friends.
#5 I also absolutely fall into but it rarely shows itself anymore. If people want to crash for a weekend they are absolutely welcome to. Let's do everything together! But this rarely happens now that we are older. In our mid-20s, it did lead to a few moments where my wife would turn to me on a Sunday night and say "OK, so is so-and-so ever going to leave?"