It also means - you have an interesting personality, but you are kinda homely. Therefore, I don't want to let you stick your parts in me, because you don't turn me on.
Also, dating does not ruin friendships necessarily.
Also, dating does not ruin friendships necessarily.
I agree, however the trend is you will be less close then you were before a relationship after one. Mainly because one or the other was probably putting a lot more energy into trying to get into the relationship.
A girl and I fell for each other, but she wanted to take it slow. So we did; our relationship went undefined, but we were becoming more and more intimate, and I grew to trust her. We helped each other through some rough days, and she was finally getting over her most recent heartbreak. I adored her, she said she adored me, and it seemed like the first relationship of mine that would actually get off the ground. All seemed well.
Tonight she told me that she's been dating somebody else for the past few days. She doesn't mind that he has cheated on all of his girlfriends because "she doesn't want a permanent relationship right now", and she's breaking off our relationship because she "doesn't want to hurt" me.
I'm trying really fucking hard not to verbally tear this girl limb from limb right now.
I'm trying really fucking hard not to verbally tear this girl limb from limb right now.
Better than feeling all pathetic about yourself and sad that a girl dumped you, imo. At least you know it's BS what happened and you don't deserve it.
Sorry to hear this shit happened. Sounds like the girl is making a bad decision and knowingly will get hurt. The question is, do you want to be the shoulder to cry on when it happens?
Gaahh. I told you about this. The situation seemed bad from the start.
Look, here's my advice, if you want to get in a relationship, the ideal time is after the 'adoration' and all the crap you consider 'love' wears off. When that biochemical hi is gone if you can still bear to talk to her, then it's a good sign. Otherwise recognize that your emotions are real, but they aren't the truth and keep your head on straight.
By following that simple plan you can avoid a huge shit storm. Also don't be afraid to walk away from a bullshit relationship. I don't mean give up immediately, but if there's no effort on the other end then there's not a lot you can do.
Gunter, I'm so sorry that happened. I know it probably doesn't help much, but I had to get up and leave the laptop for awhile to fully wrap my head around the rage I was feeling. I think you're handling this well, and that's awesome. I would have resorted to the below-the-belt stuff immediately.
I would have resorted to the below-the-belt stuff immediately.
There's a lot of pity and empathy mixed in with the rage. I'd hate to get into it, but we're fucked up in very similar ways; she's just way more fucked up than I am. Going below the belt wouldn't feel right.
Make a better choice in a partner next time, how did you not see this coming? Dating a girl who's damaged goods is a situation that has a definite expiration date.
Make a better choice in a partner next time, how did you not see this coming? Dating a girl who's damaged goods is a situation that has a definite expiration date.
Yeah, Like you've never fucked up. Sit the fuck down and let the guy have his lesson.
This sort of thing really doesn't happen between guys since we're a lot more upfront about literally everything. Although misunderstandings still happen.
Although you're right, you never learn until after you fuck up.
I'm going to give some kind of cold, but very useful, advice.
So we did; our relationship went undefined
Without knowing anything else, this is a bad sign. It's one thing if both parties agree to take a relationship slowly; this still requires the defining of the relationship in some capacity. Whenever you talk about "taking things slowly," you need to figure out what you mean when you say "things."
If the relationship stays in that nebulous undefined area, one or both of you are clearly too insecure to actually move it somewhere. That, or one or both of you are getting played.
Basically, if someone isn't comfortable directly addressing 1)what the relationship is right now and 2)if it has potential to go somewhere, then you should stay the fuck away from that person. Non-committal wishy-washy answers are often an indication of a non-committal wishy-washy person.
I'm sorry that shit sucks. It does. I've been there too. Just pick yourself up and keep trying.
Do you think she ever considered you to be her "boyfriend" to begin with? If not you really didn't break up, regardless of what one-sided feelings you had.
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Also, dating does not ruin friendships necessarily.
Ceci, N'est pas une Pipe.
Tonight she told me that she's been dating somebody else for the past few days. She doesn't mind that he has cheated on all of his girlfriends because "she doesn't want a permanent relationship right now", and she's breaking off our relationship because she "doesn't want to hurt" me.
I'm trying really fucking hard not to verbally tear this girl limb from limb right now.
Sorry to hear this shit happened. Sounds like the girl is making a bad decision and knowingly will get hurt. The question is, do you want to be the shoulder to cry on when it happens?
(if that is what you meant)
Overall, good on you for knowing better and having that rationality stuff.
Look, here's my advice, if you want to get in a relationship, the ideal time is after the 'adoration' and all the crap you consider 'love' wears off. When that biochemical hi is gone if you can still bear to talk to her, then it's a good sign. Otherwise recognize that your emotions are real, but they aren't the truth and keep your head on straight.
By following that simple plan you can avoid a huge shit storm. Also don't be afraid to walk away from a bullshit relationship. I don't mean give up immediately, but if there's no effort on the other end then there's not a lot you can do.
Gunter, I'm so sorry that happened. I know it probably doesn't help much, but I had to get up and leave the laptop for awhile to fully wrap my head around the rage I was feeling. I think you're handling this well, and that's awesome. I would have resorted to the below-the-belt stuff immediately.
Although you're right, you never learn until after you fuck up.
If the relationship stays in that nebulous undefined area, one or both of you are clearly too insecure to actually move it somewhere. That, or one or both of you are getting played.
Basically, if someone isn't comfortable directly addressing 1)what the relationship is right now and 2)if it has potential to go somewhere, then you should stay the fuck away from that person. Non-committal wishy-washy answers are often an indication of a non-committal wishy-washy person.
I'm sorry that shit sucks. It does. I've been there too. Just pick yourself up and keep trying.