It could be because he matured as he stated or perhaps she doesn't fully know why, but I'm sure she has an idea but doesn't know how to express it yet. He also stated he is improving himself/character/relationships with people, and that could be another reason to.
Did you ask her specifically Knox?
Regardless, good on you. It's good to see that you guys set the boundaries and guidelines of the relationship and are in agreement. Let's hope it leads to you guys living closer for more sexy rumpus.
@Axel - Perhaps I should have been more clear. When I said "she didn't know why she wanted me", it was meant in a sexual way. The friendship base was already there. Of course, seeing as how we are very good friends already, and we share a lot of mutual friends, it is a valid concern for me if things do end up going bad down the road. I think Ro has it right. You ask someone what kind of person they are attracted to, and they can tell you, but they can never really tell you why they do, it's just that certain people make the right chemicals go off in their brains.
ADDENDUM: Also, there is a difference between not knowing why and not having a reason. I know perfectly well what not having a reason means, since that was me in my first relationship. I had no reason to go out with her beyond "well, she asked me out, so why not?" And as such, it didn't take very long for me to realize that it wasn't worth my time since I had no reason to stay with her. I certainly don't know why it makes me smile when Katie snort-laughs. She says most people she meets find it annoying, but I think it's fucking adorable.
@Ro - I didn't ask her about it, it just kind of came up in conversation yesterday. Among our friends it has become a bit of a joke since a lot of them were convinced that when we first met we would hit it off, so now they just jab at us with "I TOLD YOU SO" a lot. So we were laughing about that and she just mentioned that last year when we were both at a wedding between the two people that we actually met through, she literally had to ask other people if I was in attendance because she didn't recognize me. Physically, the only differences I had from the last time we met were I grew my hair out some and I had new glasses, but even then she had a hard time believing it was me I had changed so much just in the "aura" I gave off. And if it weren't for the fact that we got royally shitfaced that night, we probably would've hooked up right then. As it were, that would have to wait a few months, luckily after I was out of my first relationship.
Mosquito: We bought it from a furniture shop. It's in two sections, and the material on each half didn't match exactly, being a very slight shade different. As it was ex-display and non-matching, it only cost 700 euro. That's the best 700 my ex-girlfriend ever spent!
Knox: Congratulations! Good luck with the long distance relationship part. I really mean it.
Luke's dating update time!
But you know what? Things are going so well it might soon turn into "Luke's Relationship Update". After an amazing 5 days, we're going to see how a week apart works out, and if we can cope with that little dose of reality, we've pretty much decided to spend more time together.
Anyway, yesterday she came over to hang out for a while before driving me and my work gear over to her place for the night. I needed to do some work, and tidy, and pack, so I had to find something to distract her from me so she would stop distracting me from my work. So I did a "Does she think Tim Minchin is awesome?" test. Sit her in front of YouTube, and tell her to click through his videos. As it turns out, she thinks he's amazing. Box ticked.
And other things happened last night, which are way too private to chat about here, but touched me in a very strange and beautiful way.
Regardless, good on you. It's good to see that you guys set the boundaries and guidelines of the relationship and are in agreement. Let's hope it leads to you guys living closer for more sexy rumpus.
Knox: Congratulations! Good luck with the long distance relationship part. I really mean it.
Thanks guys. That means a lot coming from others who are much more experienced in this than I am. It's already been pretty tough being far apart, even before we agreed to make our relationship semi-official, but I'm pretty sure we'll get through it. Both of us are doing whatever we can to get her a job in Seattle ASAP, and then she'll be able to move into my neighborhood.
I asked a girl out a few days ago, she said we should just be friends. I told her I'm OK with that because she's a great friend. Tonight I was invited to dinner by her roommates; she said one thing to me and didn't make eye contact all night. Lovely.
On the upside I'm taking the money I set aside to buy us a good dinner and using it to buy myself an awesome dinner.
I asked a girl out a few days ago, she said we should just be friends. I told her I'm OK with that because she's a great friend. Tonight I was invited to dinner by her roommates; she said one thing to me and didn't make eye contact all night. Lovely.
On the upside I'm taking the money I set aside to buy us a good dinner and using it to buy myself an awesome dinner.
Had a similar problem. Girls don't believe that just friends is cool.
Last week, Dina and I celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary. While technically it's on the 12th, due to work and school schedules, it made more sense to do it when we had time available. I had gotten her a Victoria's Secret gift card, and I couldn't tell if the girl at the counter was being playfully flirty or was serious. Her- Oh, who is the gift for? Me- My wife Her- *smiling* I could model something for you. Me- Nah, I'd rather play it safe and go with a gift card. Her- *As she is handing be the shopping bag* What has she got that I don't have? Me- Spending 19 years cultivating a wonderful mix of friendship, passion and confidence. *I smiled, did an about face and left whistling "Driver's High".
Heh, I've been told "I just want to be friends before" and that relationship lasted about 2 years. Don't necessarily write someone off that says that :-p The trick is to be cool about it, act normally around them and don't bring it up again until the mood is right. (Or Rym is throwing up in a bathroom)
So I met a guy at game group I just instantly clicked with while geeking out. My first thought is "Woot! A cool new friend in the city to geek out and hang with!", but he took it as: "Hot chick to geek with! I'm gonna ask for her digits!" We traded numbers and I thought nothing bad about that until the flirtation began. Oh dear...no I didn't mean...oh boy. It's always hard to let someone down, but I'm in love with someone else. So I told them, but now I probably wont have another geek bud. Sigh.
It just been so long since anyone, ever, without it being a bet, hit on me I forgot what that consists of. Usually everyone hits up my pretty friends and I get asked for info to successfully get them.
This kinda doesn't fit in this thread, but it's the closest thing to: The Thread On Having a Misunderstanding of Making Friends but Taken as Mackin' But You Genuinely Want To Be Friends but it's Not Taken As Such Because "Let's be Friends" Equals Blowing Them Off Forever.
My girlfriend and I were "just friends" for about a year. Our 8 year anniversary is coming up in a couple months. So, you know. It can go either way.
Adam and I were friends for a few months before we started dating. We've been together 9 years and married for 4. I've only dated people I was friends with first.
Hey Axel, got any more advice for me? Because I met someone for the first time on a date a few weeks ago, and I've totally fallen in love with her! It's still not an "official" or "announced" relationship yet (no facebook status changing), thoug that is more down to an unfortunate series of illnesses and maladies on both sides delaying things a bit. But I'm worried because we weren't friends first! Should I not get together with her, and try to stop it moving forwards, and spend a while as friendship-only people hanging out together first? I would hate to make a big mistake with her, as I think there's a chance this girl might be the one for me!
I think it's important that two people learn how to value each other as humans before they value each other as objects of affection. If you can do this simultaneously, then good for you. And sometimes being friends before dating doesn't ensure this will happen. I feel that it may not have happened with me for my ex-girlfriend, but I'm not really sure. I guess in terms of friendship or not friendship, it's not really that important, more that you don't simply see them romantically and only romantically. Because romantic attraction can die out. But a friendship that's deep can last for a much longer time, and will keep two people happier together longer.
I think it's important that two people learn how to value each other as humans before they value each other as objects of affection. If you can do this simultaneously, then good for you. And sometimes being friends before dating doesn't ensure this will happen. I feel that it may not have happened with me for my ex-girlfriend, but I'm not really sure. I guess in terms of friendship or not friendship, it's not really that important, more that you don't simply see them romantically and only romantically. Because romantic attraction can die out. But a friendship that's deep can last for a much longer time, and will keep two people happier together longer.
I'm going to try to put this as tactfully as possible.
I am a scientist, and I believe that all theories should be supported by ample data. Your theory sounds intriguing; however, in order to adopt it, I need to know about the experiments you have conducted to build it. To that end, how many relationships have you had total? Of those, how many started as friendships? How many did not? What is your ratio of successful:failed relationships?
That's cool then. Just like me and Pola. We're still good friends after almost seven years, even though we weren't friends before we were romantically affectionate. It's a pity that our friendship didn't keep us together after the romantic attraction ran out though. A real shame...
Oh no, I mean the opposite of what you said. Yeah.
Keep up the over-generalizations! They are a really handy guide for living your life. I think.
Comments
Did you ask her specifically Knox?
Regardless, good on you. It's good to see that you guys set the boundaries and guidelines of the relationship and are in agreement. Let's hope it leads to you guys living closer for more sexy rumpus.
ADDENDUM: Also, there is a difference between not knowing why and not having a reason. I know perfectly well what not having a reason means, since that was me in my first relationship. I had no reason to go out with her beyond "well, she asked me out, so why not?" And as such, it didn't take very long for me to realize that it wasn't worth my time since I had no reason to stay with her. I certainly don't know why it makes me smile when Katie snort-laughs. She says most people she meets find it annoying, but I think it's fucking adorable.
@Ro - I didn't ask her about it, it just kind of came up in conversation yesterday. Among our friends it has become a bit of a joke since a lot of them were convinced that when we first met we would hit it off, so now they just jab at us with "I TOLD YOU SO" a lot. So we were laughing about that and she just mentioned that last year when we were both at a wedding between the two people that we actually met through, she literally had to ask other people if I was in attendance because she didn't recognize me. Physically, the only differences I had from the last time we met were I grew my hair out some and I had new glasses, but even then she had a hard time believing it was me I had changed so much just in the "aura" I gave off. And if it weren't for the fact that we got royally shitfaced that night, we probably would've hooked up right then. As it were, that would have to wait a few months, luckily after I was out of my first relationship.
Knox: Congratulations! Good luck with the long distance relationship part. I really mean it.
Luke's dating update time!
But you know what? Things are going so well it might soon turn into "Luke's Relationship Update". After an amazing 5 days, we're going to see how a week apart works out, and if we can cope with that little dose of reality, we've pretty much decided to spend more time together.
Anyway, yesterday she came over to hang out for a while before driving me and my work gear over to her place for the night. I needed to do some work, and tidy, and pack, so I had to find something to distract her from me so she would stop distracting me from my work. So I did a "Does she think Tim Minchin is awesome?" test. Sit her in front of YouTube, and tell her to click through his videos. As it turns out, she thinks he's amazing. Box ticked.
And other things happened last night, which are way too private to chat about here, but touched me in a very strange and beautiful way.
On the upside I'm taking the money I set aside to buy us a good dinner and using it to buy myself an awesome dinner.
Regardless, lame on them.
Her- Oh, who is the gift for?
Me- My wife
Her- *smiling* I could model something for you.
Me- Nah, I'd rather play it safe and go with a gift card.
Her- *As she is handing be the shopping bag* What has she got that I don't have?
Me- Spending 19 years cultivating a wonderful mix of friendship, passion and confidence. *I smiled, did an about face and left whistling "Driver's High".
So I met a guy at game group I just instantly clicked with while geeking out. My first thought is "Woot! A cool new friend in the city to geek out and hang with!", but he took it as: "Hot chick to geek with! I'm gonna ask for her digits!" We traded numbers and I thought nothing bad about that until the flirtation began. Oh dear...no I didn't mean...oh boy. It's always hard to let someone down, but I'm in love with someone else. So I told them, but now I probably wont have another geek bud. Sigh.
It just been so long since anyone, ever, without it being a bet, hit on me I forgot what that consists of. Usually everyone hits up my pretty friends and I get asked for info to successfully get them.
This kinda doesn't fit in this thread, but it's the closest thing to: The Thread On Having a Misunderstanding of Making Friends but Taken as Mackin' But You Genuinely Want To Be Friends but it's Not Taken As Such Because "Let's be Friends" Equals Blowing Them Off Forever.
I think it's important that two people learn how to value each other as humans before they value each other as objects of affection. If you can do this simultaneously, then good for you. And sometimes being friends before dating doesn't ensure this will happen. I feel that it may not have happened with me for my ex-girlfriend, but I'm not really sure. I guess in terms of friendship or not friendship, it's not really that important, more that you don't simply see them romantically and only romantically. Because romantic attraction can die out. But a friendship that's deep can last for a much longer time, and will keep two people happier together longer.
I am a scientist, and I believe that all theories should be supported by ample data. Your theory sounds intriguing; however, in order to adopt it, I need to know about the experiments you have conducted to build it. To that end, how many relationships have you had total? Of those, how many started as friendships? How many did not? What is your ratio of successful:failed relationships?
Oh no, I mean the opposite of what you said. Yeah.
Keep up the over-generalizations! They are a really handy guide for living your life. I think.