So people, if things go well with Violin Girl and we start dating: is there an appropriate time to tell her that I really haven't dated before? My friends were telling me to only bring that up if there is a heart-to-heart discussion, but to sort of say half-truths about it like "I haven't done this in a long time" at other times.
Don't even worry about that. No one wants to talk about exes or your history until they really know you. Up till then, the most they want to know about your past is that you aren't presently a vector for an STI.
Be straight up honest and just say, "I haven't been in a serious relationship before." That could be interpreted lots of ways, but she probably won't ask for clarification. Hopefully she'll get the idea and you won't have to awkwardly expand on that later, but I'd say make sure she understands at least the basics right around when you start dating, essentially.
Don't lie. That's a good way to fuck things up right from the onset. Saying that you "haven't had something like that in AWHILE" implies past experience and is therefore still partially lying, and is really not the kind of first impression you want to give. Stick with simple truths. Always. There is no point in lying to get someone to like you. It'll only make them mad at you when they figure it out. Also lying about small things is dumb. If admitting to something is inconvenient but ultimately won't really hurt you, there's not really a point to lying about it when asked.
Lying and hiding things create distrust. Distrust breaks relationships. This is true in ALL relationships, whether you're talking about dating or not.
Went to go see Rock of Ages on campus with Violin Girl. We talked to each other through the entire movie and then for a while afterwards. She's just so easy to talk to.
I want to get an Armored Personnel Carrier and bring it to a drive-in movie. I know how to achieve this, except for the 75 grand necessary to buy the only street-legal APC in the MA area.
Star Wars Girl (after blowing me off) has been supplanted by Grizzly Bear Girl, who is altogether cooler and more interesting.
[+1]
Things that occurred at the festival yesterday:
1) We drank Schafly Pumpkin Ale at the best beer bar in the town. 2) We talked about WOOFing, preserving meat and vegetables, and the importance of the FDA and the downsides of monoculture. We both proclaimed the present method of growing bananas "fucked up." 3) She's an urban planning major with a minor in landscape architecture; we talked a lot about urban farming and beekeeping. 4) Pete's beef bacon was discussed. 5) Listed our favorite Animal Collective albums. Concluded that "Grass" is our favorite song, but Strawberry Jam is our favorite album. 6) We both teared up and were overwhelmed at the Grizzly Bear set. 7) Noted that The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock is our favorite poem ever. 8) Got pizza, agreed to get barbecue next week.
Anyone who went through it will tell you that during the 4th and 5th grades, my life was the longest most boring episode of House you'll ever see, in that about half the time was spent me reporting symptoms and doctors saying "fuck, I don't know."
Anyone who went through it will tell you that during the 4th and 5th grades, my life was the longest most boring episode of House you'll ever see, in that about half the time was spent me reporting symptoms and doctors saying "fuck, I don't know."
My daughter is still sort of doing this except that we've given up on hearing "Fuck, we don't know". We've been sort of taking a break from doctors for a bit but we need to get back on that circuit with the new year and figure out her chronic pain issues and what we're going to do about her ongoing steroid dependency. She's also suddenly bruising even when her blood clotting factors test high, so that's interesting.
Comments
Just be yourself and be honest.
Also lying about small things is dumb. If admitting to something is inconvenient but ultimately won't really hurt you, there's not really a point to lying about it when asked.
Lying and hiding things create distrust. Distrust breaks relationships. This is true in ALL relationships, whether you're talking about dating or not.
Just don't fake it. If there's chemistry, there is. If it doesn't work, it doesn't. Poop. I'm sick and thinking hurts now so BYE.
It's college; no assumptions are made.
1) We drank Schafly Pumpkin Ale at the best beer bar in the town.
2) We talked about WOOFing, preserving meat and vegetables, and the importance of the FDA and the downsides of monoculture. We both proclaimed the present method of growing bananas "fucked up."
3) She's an urban planning major with a minor in landscape architecture; we talked a lot about urban farming and beekeeping.
4) Pete's beef bacon was discussed.
5) Listed our favorite Animal Collective albums. Concluded that "Grass" is our favorite song, but Strawberry Jam is our favorite album.
6) We both teared up and were overwhelmed at the Grizzly Bear set.
7) Noted that The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock is our favorite poem ever.
8) Got pizza, agreed to get barbecue next week.
fuck. my heart, just ugh
EDIT: We also discussed why (500) Days of Summer isn't actually a romantic comedy and it's bullshit that people hate Summer. Uncomfortably meta.