My GeekNights persona is not quite what I am actually like. So too with Scott. You guys get a tiny slice of how we are, tilted more toward outrage and entertainment. On GeekNights, we are actors.
There are no words anyone could say to me over dinner that could on their own cause me to lose my cool in any capacity.
I'd like to believe that I can have an unbreakable cool in any situation, but I know there are a few politics-related weak points that will make me very angry. To sum up: if you assert to me that public education should not exist (and yes, I know people who will claim this), I will attempt to reason for approximately a minute and then punch you in the face.
I could sit here and try to give you the words that could be (honestly) said by people that would make you get elevated above your cool head, but it's literally the most pointless endeavor. My end-all argument is that anyone making your argument is full of themselves and is willfully cutting themselves off.
You say you have no energy to deal with "drama" people. I say that I have a refusal to limit myself to such a small group of like-minded people. Exposure to lots of people has helped me in many ways. I think people are worth the energy, if you give them the chance.
I could trivially make Rym upset, however he knows me to well to not believe any of the stupid shit that came out of my mouth.
Your arrogance makes we want to try you, but I know that invariably dinner would just result in us having a nice talk about games and bikes.
I think we've found the final round of the FRCF Gaming Grand Prix -- in this case, pronounced as it is spelled.
Eh. Deep talk is so much more entertaining than goading a person into anger. If someone thinks intentionally trying to make you angry is entertaining, don't hang.
You say you have no energy to deal with "drama" people. I say that I have a refusal to limit myself to such a small group of like-minded people. Exposure to lots of people has helped me in many ways. I think people are worth the energy, if you give them the chance.
Why would you willfully surround yourself with people who stress you out? There are lessons to learn from racists, and bigots, dictators, and drama queens, but I don't want to learn those lessons by *knowing those people*.
Be chill and surround yourself with chill people, so you can share your passions and learn from them, rather than dwelling on relatively small personal problems. When people are stressing, let them figure that shit out on their own.
EDIT: Don't want to seem like a hypocrite, here. It's important to listen to friends when they vent. But, people should vent and then let things rest. Work through your shit, get help from people, but don't make mountains out of molehills.
I do too! But, there's a limit. Talking about a human relationship can easily transition from productive problem-solving, to dwelling. You gotta talk through the problems and then let people process.
I'm not saying surround yourself with stressful people. I'm saying don't cut off someone because they've been through shit that makes them "drama." Know how much you can handle and be willing to help them. I don't think you can ever say that cutting yourself off from all of those kinds of people doesn't limit you. I think it's very limiting. Lots of people have different things to teach you. Even if you wind up creating drama you didn't want, you learn and can handle more. And you can dig through to people's cores of themselves past the drama and uncover a soul with whom you can learn something from.
tl;dr: Humans are complicated and everyone has value in being known, even if they can cause drama.
You say you have no energy to deal with "drama" people. I say that I have a refusal to limit myself to such a small group of like-minded people. Exposure to lots of people has helped me in many ways. I think people are worth the energy, if you give them the chance.
I think you underestimate how much older I am than you. The block, I have been around it.
There comes a time in your life where there are enough people in your orbit that it is a physical impossibility to expend energy toward all of them. You have to filter. You have to pick and choose.
All other things being equal, I'll choose the non-flipping-out person over the flipping-out person. Sure, it's arbitrary. But, I'm missing something no matter who I chose to spend time with.
You say you have no energy to deal with "drama" people. I say that I have a refusal to limit myself to such a small group of like-minded people. Exposure to lots of people has helped me in many ways. I think people are worth the energy, if you give them the chance.
I think you underestimate how much older I am than you. The block, I have been around it.
You are about 10-15 years older than me. You were at RIT a full decade before me.
I realize you've been around the block, dealt with drama, and have decided to remove it from your life in all capacities you can handle. I'm saying if I chose to do that I would remove meaningful people from my life. Your rule is not absolute and guaranteed to be an optimal way for living. If that is your choice, I will not begrudge you it, though I will argue it is limiting.
Edit: Alternative theory: I create drama and therefore am bothered by your theory inherently. I can't reasonably determine this about myself as I am biased.
Axel, read critically the exchange you've had with Rym and realize that this is increasingly becoming an argument about "you being right" rather than "how to handle people."
I've seen the road most drama people lead you down.
Axel, read critically the exchange you've had with Rym and realize that this is increasingly becoming an argument about "you being right" rather than "how to handle people."
Interesting that this topic would come up as I just wrote a blog post about it last week. Without going over the whole thing again, I fully agree with Rym and Scott. Drama is stupid and I actively ignore people who have it. The energy it takes to avoid these kinds of people, for me, is effectively zero. Rym and Scott probably have it a little harder because they have public personas that invite more interactions with those people, but even if it takes a little bit of energy to do so, it's nothing compared to the alternative.
Removing drama people from your life entirely is, admittedly, limiting. But so is time. Time > drama people, always.
Comments
EDIT: Ninja'b by Rym. Bill O'Reilly, Anne Coulter, Rand Paul, anyone who's anti-vaccine...
I would happily debate any of those people over dinner. I guarantee that if anyone flips out, it would be them.
There are no words anyone could say to me over dinner that could on their own cause me to lose my cool in any capacity.
If the former, then it is a reflection of reality, and there is no reason to flip out.
If the former, it is a false reflection, and not worthy of further consideration.
You say you have no energy to deal with "drama" people. I say that I have a refusal to limit myself to such a small group of like-minded people. Exposure to lots of people has helped me in many ways. I think people are worth the energy, if you give them the chance.
Be chill and surround yourself with chill people, so you can share your passions and learn from them, rather than dwelling on relatively small personal problems. When people are stressing, let them figure that shit out on their own.
EDIT: Don't want to seem like a hypocrite, here. It's important to listen to friends when they vent. But, people should vent and then let things rest. Work through your shit, get help from people, but don't make mountains out of molehills.
[Edited post to reflect this]
tl;dr: Humans are complicated and everyone has value in being known, even if they can cause drama.
There comes a time in your life where there are enough people in your orbit that it is a physical impossibility to expend energy toward all of them. You have to filter. You have to pick and choose.
All other things being equal, I'll choose the non-flipping-out person over the flipping-out person. Sure, it's arbitrary. But, I'm missing something no matter who I chose to spend time with.
I realize you've been around the block, dealt with drama, and have decided to remove it from your life in all capacities you can handle. I'm saying if I chose to do that I would remove meaningful people from my life. Your rule is not absolute and guaranteed to be an optimal way for living. If that is your choice, I will not begrudge you it, though I will argue it is limiting.
Edit:
Alternative theory: I create drama and therefore am bothered by your theory inherently. I can't reasonably determine this about myself as I am biased.
I'm just happy to have meaningful friendships, even if those friends have a drama.
Removing drama people from your life entirely is, admittedly, limiting. But so is time. Time > drama people, always.