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The Rules of Scott Rubin

gomidoggomidog
edited July 2008 in Everything Else
This needed its own thread.
«134567…11

Comments

  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    edited July 2008
    Rule # 36.05: Scott Rubin's taste in books is too absurdly refined for him to be satisfied with the offerings of any human library. In order to save time, Scott Rubin consumes entertainment by pillaging the dreams of sleeping human writers and artists.
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    Unwritten Rules of Scott Rubin:1. No person, living or dead, is as smart as Scott Rubin.
    1a. All persons older than Scott Rubin are not as smart as Scott Rubin.
    1b. All persons younger than Scott Rubin are not as smart as Scott Rubin.
    1c. Exception - only Douglas Rushkoff is smarter than Scott Rubin.
    I remember distinctly that Scott once said, "I'm wish I was as smart as that guy." Followed directly by Rym saying, "Scott, you have an intellectual hard-on for Douglas Rushkoff. The same way that I have a creative hard-on for Neil Gaiman."
    2. Scott Rubin may not post an Achievement, or through inaction allow an Achievement to be posted.
    3. Scott Rubin must obey the orders of Brandon DeCoster, except where such orders would conflict with the Second Rule.
    15. Political and economic events that affect the general populace will not affect Scott Rubin.
    26. Scott Rubin has a plan for all of us.
    105. Scott Rubin should stop and smell the roses every once in awhile; for although Scott Rubin is for all purposes immortal, he retains some basic human needs, relaxation being chief among those.
    Unwritten Rule of Scott Rubin #492:
    The amount of effort put into disagreeing with Scott Rubin is directly proportional to the percent of Scott's correctness on said topic.
    Scott Rule 44:
    If it does not contain a naked Greek man, then it is not art.
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    Rule 23.06(a)(2) Scott Rubin must feed.
  • AndrewAndrew
    Rule 23.06(a)(2) Scott Rubin must feed.
    Rule 23.06(a)(3) When in close proximity of a human female, Scott Rubin is allowed to command said female to cook for him.
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    Rule 72:
    If there is any skin irritation that can be picked or scratched, it must be picked or scratched any time it is noticed regardless of any external circumstance (including restaurants or the presence of food and/or utensils used to prepare food).
  • VigaViga
    Rule 357.1 No matter how straight he actually is the evidence will always pile up to be the opposite.
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    Rule 23.06(a)(2) Scott Rubin must feed.
    Rule 23.06(a)(3) When in close proximity of a human female, Scott Rubin is allowed compelled to command said female to cook for him.
    Fixed it! ^_^
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    edited July 2008
    Rule 8:
    Scott will not respond to any human being during his morning routine until it is fully complete and he has breakfasted. (Seriously, try saying hello to him in the morning while he is checking his daily websites - and woe betide you if you dare to ask him what he is reading).
    Post edited by Kate Monster on
  • AndrewAndrew
    edited July 2008
    Rule 12.08 Section 3 Subsection 12 Paragraph 5: MegaMan is the greatest game franchise in existence. Anyone who blasphemes this rule is subject to Rules of Retribution as listed in Rule 13.18
    Post edited by Andrew on
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    Rule 12.08 Section 3 Subsection 12 Paragraph 5: MegaMan is the greatest game franchise in existence. Anyone who blasphemes this rule is subject to Rules of Retribution as listed in Rule 13
    Ooh, I am looking forward to Rule 13!
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    Rule 89(12)(a)(xv)
    If you are not happy, there is something wrong with you. This defect is of your own creation, and no outside circumstances may in any way impact your emotional status without your consent.
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    edited July 2008
    Rule 92.023 (A)(c)(iv) Scott Rubin is doom'd for a certain term to walk the night, and for the day confined to fast in fires, untill the foul crimes done in his days of nature are burnt and purged away.
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • RochelleRochelle
    Rule 32.89 Trilobites are the cutest thing around, even more so than puppies and kittens.
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    Rule 92.023 (A)(c)(iv) Scott Rubin is doom'd for a certain term to walk the night, and for the day confined to fast in fires, untill the foul crimes done in his days of nature are burnt and purged away.
    I almost peed a little.... wow!
  • ErynEryn
    Rule 33: By decree of Scott Rubin, castles are awesome.
    Rule 33a: Except those weird Turkish castles.
    Rule 33b: Castles made out of LEGO are doubly awesome, and quite possibly sacred.
  • AndrewAndrew
    Rule 65.87 (3)(xvii) Alas! If thou desires to play the role of another, thy must adhere to the rules of the almighty Luke Crane. Reference Appendix Alpha-3 for further information.
  • AndrewAndrew
    edited July 2008
    Rule 31.09 (A)(i) Section:"Dating Protocols"
    -Records Missing-
    Post edited by Andrew on
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    Rule 3.09 (A)(i) Section:"Dating Protocols"
    -Records Missing-
    Ouch!
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    Rule 117(xxx) Section Heading: Sexuality, Subsection: Attraction, Article 306:
    Long, thick socks are more attractive than any other item of clothing, particularly those made of wool.
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    edited July 2008
    Rule 42 Scott Rubin will rise again in England's hour of greatest need.

    Rule 56 Scott Rubin has the proportionate strength of a boll weevil.
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • AndrewAndrew
    Rule 56 Scott Rubin has the proportinate strength of a boll weevil.
    Corollary: When in doubt, Scott Rubin must always choose the lesser of two weevils.
  • ErynEryn
    edited July 2008
    Rule 116: Satisfactory moshpit activity, as decided by Scott Rubin, consists of several members of the male persuasion colliding with one another repeatedly without cessation for no less than a well-spent six-hundred seconds (or, more colloquially, "a bunch of guys bumpin' into each other and not stoppin' for a good ten minutes").
    Post edited by Eryn on
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    edited July 2008
    Rule 48 Scott Rubin is not a sandwich. One should not attempt to eat Scott Rubin nor should one place Scott Rubin in the 'fridge for later.
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • ErynEryn
    edited July 2008
    Rule 2: If any of these rules are broken or modified, then you are playing a completely different Scott Rubin.
    Post edited by Eryn on
  • jccjcc
    Rule 33: By decree of Scott Rubin, castles are awesome.
    Rule 33a: Except those weird Turkish castles.
    Rule 33b: Castles made out of LEGO are doubly awesome, and quite possibly sacred demonic.
    Fixed!
    image
  • AndrewAndrew
    Rule 0: start_kernel()
  • HungryJoeHungryJoe
    Rule 57 Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Scott Rubin.
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    edited July 2008
    Rule 57(a)
    If condition persists for more than two weeks or worsens, discontinue use of Scott Rubin immediately and consult your doctor.

    Rule 74
    Scott Rubin is not a toy.
    Post edited by Kate Monster on
  • CremlianCremlian
    Rule 57 Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Scott Rubin.
    Actually all women should be warned ahead of time of lasting side effects of Scott Rubin exposure.
  • Kate MonsterKate Monster
    Rule 57 Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Scott Rubin.
    Actually all women should be warned ahead of time of lasting side effects of Scott Rubin exposure.
    What? Balding due to involuntarily ripping out your own hair in frustration?
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