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The Rules of Scott Rubin

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  • edited July 2008
    Rule 57(a)
    Rule 74
    Scott Rubin is not a toy.
    Rule 74 (a) Sccott Rubin is harmful if swallowed.

    Rule 74(b) Scott Rubin should be kept away from children under the age of 3.
    Post edited by Your Mom on
  • edited July 2008
    Rule 6: Scott Rubin will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. His life is his own.
    Rule 6a: Scott Rubin is not a number. He is a free man.
    Rule 6b: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
    Post edited by Eryn on
  • Rule 8 Do not feed Scott Rubin after midnight.
  • Rule 8 Do not feed Scott Rubin after midnight.
    Why not? He is already a grouchy gremlin!
  • edited July 2008
    Why not? He is already a grouchy gremlin!
    Don't you remember if you feed them after midnight they will spawn more. Do you really want more Scott Rubins around? Or was that just adding water?
    Post edited by Rochelle on
  • Rule G If Scott Rubin persists for more than four hours, consult a physician.
  • What did the Chinese guy say was worse? Him being wet or him being on fire?

    http://www.oldeenglish.org/podcast/mogwai
  • Rule 57(a)
    Rule 74
    Scott Rubin is not a toy.
    Rule 74 (a) Scott Rubin is harmful if swallowed.

    Rule 74(b) Scott Rubin should be kept away from children under the age of 3.
    Rule 74(c) If worn as a hat, Scott Rubin may present a choking hazard. Prevent small children and crazy fangirls from doing so.
  • Rule 871, Section Heading: Parenting, 4.16(S)
    Survival of the fittest can and must be applied to all aspects of child rearing. If the child comes to harm, it is obviously inferior and does not deserve to live.

    Rule 871, Section Heading: Parenting, Subsection: Appropriate Activities
    79(B)(ii)
    Racing involving cars and other motorized vehicles are not only acceptable, but also encouraged, activities for young children.
  • Rule VII Every penny spent on that fancy office chair, from which Scott Rubin telepathically controls his minions and maintains his vast estates, was justified.
  • Rule 839: Do not stare directly at Scott Rubin without the proper equipment.

    Rule 840: Scott Rubin may cause drowsiness. Do not take while operating heavy machinery.

    Rule 4080: Scott Rubin is shady.
  • Some extensive fieldwork there, Mrs. M! What's your methodology? Hunting blind set up in his closet? Some sort of tag and release monitoring maybe?
  • Rule 86, Section Heading: Sandwiches
    62(i) Scott Rubin has no affliation with the sandwich commonly known as the "ruben", except that he is a Jew and that he enjoys eating said sandwich.
  • Some extensive fieldwork there, Mrs. M! What's your methodology? Hunting blind set up in his closet? Some sort of tag and release monitoring maybe?
    I've wired in monitoring devices throughout Scott Rubin's nervous system.
  • Some extensive fieldwork there, Mrs. M! What's your methodology? Hunting blind set up in his closet? Some sort of tag and release monitoring maybe?
    I figure a Jane Goodall/living with the apes approach is more reasonable.
  • and that he enjoys eating said sandwich.
    I actually don't like them.
  • and that he enjoys eating said sandwich.
    I actually don't like them.
    Wait... out of all the statements made about you, this is the one you dispute?!!
    Rule 86, Section Heading: Sandwiches
    62(i) Scott Rubin has no affliation with the sandwich commonly known as the "ruben", except that he is a Jew and that he enjoys eating said sandwich that the meat is not corned beef, but is in fact shavings from his various skin rashes and warts.
    There, fixed it! ^_^
  • Rule X Scott Rubin gained his powers through accidental exposure to gamma radiation, and must now wander from town to town while he is pursued Army researchers intent upon using him for scientific experiments.
  • and that he enjoys eating said sandwich.
    I actually don't like them.
    He doesn't like them, but he does apreche-e-ate them.
  • He doesn't like them, but he does apreche-e-ate them.
    "Rym"shot.
  • He doesn't like them, but he does apreche-e-ate them.
    "Rym"shot.
    Tee-hee, you guys are silly!
  • edited July 2008
    Tee-hee, you guys are silly!
    Apart from this whole thread being silly? :P
    Post edited by Rochelle on
  • Rule 824.17
    If everyone likes something, Scott Rubin must not like it.
    (a) If all of his friends concur that a certain science-fiction space drama created by Joss Whedon is wonderful, he will instantly develop a dislike to said show, regardless of its obvious awesomeness.
  • Tee-hee, you guys are silly!
    Apart from this whole thread being silly? :P
    I have a thing for puns and word play. ^_^
  • Rule ש Scott Rubin does not have a girlfriend because he hasn't yet met a girl who is sufficiently rubenesque for him.
  • edited July 2008
    Scott Commandments:
    1) I am the Lord your Scott;
    2) You shall have no other scotts before me;
    3) You shall not make for yourself an idol, unless it is of Scott and you sacrifice orangey to it;
    4) You shall not make wrongful use of the name of Scott Rubin, unless it amuses Scott Rubin or his hetero-life-partner and lesser god, Rym;
    5) Remember the Scottath and keep it holy, by playing Burning Wheel;
    6) Honor your father and mother, unless Scott disagrees with them;
    7) You shall not murder, unless commanded by Scott;
    8) You shall not commit adultery, unless Scott finds you attractive and you happen to be married - and then you may only commit adultery with Scott Rubin while wearing woollen socks;
    9) You shall not steal from Scott Rubin;
    10) You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor, unless you watched him beat Scott at a video game, and Scott later decides that he in fact won the video game - at which time you must agree with Scott's revisionist history of said video game winning;
    11) You shall not covet your neighbor's house, unless it is the Geek Haus which is so awesome that it must be coveted;
    12) You shall not covet your neighbor's wife unless you are Scott Rubin and you have a hot neighbor that happens to be married.
    Post edited by Kate Monster on
  • Rule ש Scott Rubin does not have a girlfriend because he hasn't yet met a girl who is sufficiently rubenesque for him.
    You are killing me, here! ^_^
  • Rule 3:
    Do not have any other Scotts before me.
    I have a gripe with this rule! :P
  • edited July 2008
    Rule 47856: Machine wash hot. Wash separately from Rym. Non chlorine bleach only. Tumble dry on high. Warm iron.

    Rule 34: See this thread

    Rule 63: See this thread
    Post edited by Viga on
  • First rule about Scott Rubin, don't talk about Scott Rubin.
    Rule 34:See this thread
    Damn you! I was just about to do a rule 34 reference. Fuck it I still am.
    Rule 34: If it Scott Rubin exists, there is porn of it him. No exceptions.
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