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The Rules of Scott Rubin

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  • It's implied. That's why you listen to my podcast, not the other way around.
    I don't listen to the shows anymore.
  • I don't listen to the shows anymore.
    And that's why you are so confused about what video games to buy.
  • edited July 2008
    And that's why you are so confused about what video games to buy.
    Did I say I was confused? I don't think so...

    Rule 212: Scott's intelligence is only surpassed by is blinding arrogance.
    Post edited by Andrew on
  • edited July 2008
    Rule ∞
    Scott Rubin is the bone of his Podcast
    The Microphone is his body, the Internet is his blood.
    He has created over a thousand podcasts.
    Not known to post production
    Nor known to editing.
    Having withstood pain to create many podcasts.
    Yet his hands will never record anything.
    He has no regrets, this is the only path.
    His whole life has been Unlimited Podcast Works."

    Rule ⑨:Scott Rubin is the Strongest.
    Post edited by Airpi on
  • Rule 17:
    Gravity is not a law if Scott Rubin determines that it is not for the purposes of stimulating a "debate" that is actually an argument based on a false premise that Scott Rubin does not actually believe, just to be an asshole - with the unfortunate side-effect of turning off co-eds that thought Scott Rubin was cute until Scott Rubin opened his mouth.
    Please tell me this actually happened. Please, please? I have a friend who is his very own worst enemy when it comes to the courtship of ladies because he feels that he must, in essence, "1up" them at every turn for them to like him. This includes starting arguments where there are none and taking positions in said arguments that should not exist in the mind of a rational human being.
  • Rule 17:
    Gravity is not a law if Scott Rubin determines that it is not for the purposes of stimulating a "debate" that is actually an argument based on a false premise that Scott Rubin does not actually believe, just to be an asshole - with the unfortunate side-effect of turning off co-eds that thought Scott Rubin was cute until Scott Rubin opened his mouth.
    Please tell me this actually happened. Please, please? I have a friend who is his very own worst enemy when it comes to the courtship of ladies because he feels that he must, in essence, "1up" them at every turn for them to like him. This includes starting arguments where there are none and taking positions in said arguments that should not exist in the mind of a rational human being.
    Yes, it happened. I believe more than once, but I am certain of at least one instance.
  • Who said you have the same quality judgment skills that I have?
    Who ever said you had quality judgment skills at all?
    It's implied. That's why you listen to my podcast, not the other way around.
    I listen to a lot of shows that review movies, games, theatrical shows, etc. that I don't agree with because it is entertaining. Also, just because some people agree with you on a subject of taste doesn't make you correct.

    Rule # 98
    (a) There is not subjectivity. There is only what Scott Rubin likes and what Scott Rubin does not like.
    (b) What Scott Rubin likes equals what is good, high-quality, of merit, and interesting. What Scott Rubin does not like equals bad, poor quality, devoid of merit, and uninteresting.
    (c) Both (a) and (b) apply to the universe and all that dwell within it.
    (d) Scott Rubin's word not only describes what exists, but solidifies it place in existence.

    Rule 201
    Those that have podcasts must be correct in all areas of taste. If two podcasters disagree on an are of taste, see Rule 98.
  • --Even though he is 100 years older, Chuck Norris can still kick Scott Rubin's ass.
  • edited July 2008
    --Even though he is 100 years older, Chuck Norris can still kick Scott Rubin's ass.
    Rule #24
    Unless you are under the age of 3, you can kick Scott Rubin's ass in a bare fisted fight.
    Post edited by Kate Monster on
  • --Even though he is 100 years older, Chuck Norris can still kick Scott Rubin's ass.
    Rule #24
    Unless you are under the age of 3, you can kick Scott Rubin's ass in a bare fisted fight.
    Well, of course! In a fists-only fight, I'm not allowed to use any of my special biting attacks.
  • What about thepity defense?
    That's not the pity defense. That's just my 100% eyeball protection defense. Unlike bosses in video games, I make sure it is impossible to hit my weak spots.
  • That's not the pity defense. That's just my 100% eyeball protection defense. Unlike bosses in video games, I make sure it is impossible to hit my weak spots.
    I hate people who turtle.
  • That's not the pity defense. That's just my 100% eyeball protection defense. Unlike bosses in video games, I make sure it is impossible to hit my weak spots.
    I hate people who turtle.
    You play to win the game. Do whatever it takes to win.
  • You play to win the game. Do whatever it takes to win.
    Stalemate != win.
  • edited July 2008
    What about thepity defense?
    That's not the pity defense. That's just my 100% eyeball protection defense. Unlike bosses in video games, I make sure it is impossible to hit my weak spots.
    This isn't a stabby sword, a dagger, or an arrow. We are talking Nerf and pseudo-Nerf weaponry here. Closing your eyes is enough to prevent most damage, and a one armed defense suffices at close range. I make the point that you no longer defend any other sensitive bits in this position, and therefore have a fairly low actual defense overall.

    I have zero qualms about aiming low.
    Post edited by Your Mom on
  • edited July 2008
    What about thepity defense?
    That's not the pity defense. That's just my 100% eyeball protection defense. Unlike bosses in video games, I make sure it is impossible to hit my weak spots.
    Your right, that's not the pitty defense, the pitty defense is when I am about to dunk you in the ocean and you just sit there and feign death or look really pittiful thus causing me to move on to someone who will put up a fight :-p
    Post edited by Cremlian on
  • What about "I'll pee! I'll pee!"
  • What about "I'll pee! I'll pee!"
    That's threats of offense, not defense.
  • edited July 2008
    I make sure it is impossible to hit my weak spots.
    Rule 18 Scott Rubin's entire body is a weak spot.
    Post edited by HungryJoe on
  • edited July 2008
    Rule Pink: If something bad happens, Scott says it's your fault.
    Post edited by Jason on
  • What about "I'll pee! I'll pee!"
    That is my defense. No, really, ask Mr. MacRoss.
  • Rule Pink: If something bad happens, Scott says it's your fault.
    Rule Purple: If it's Scott fault, it's still your fault!
  • edited July 2008
    Rule Pink: If something bad happens, Scott says it's your fault.
    Rule Purple: If it's Scott fault, it's still your fault!
    Rule Blue: All mistakes relating to the posting of the podcast are Rym's fault.
    Post edited by Sail on
  • Rule triangle: It's too cold. It's too hot. I'm tired. I'm hungry. Those bubbles hurt my throat. Dole ruined my breakfast.
  • edited July 2008
    Rule Circle: Soda is the devil! So are alcoholic beverages!

    (This is one of the funniest threads here! ^_^)
    Post edited by Viga on
  • Rule Circle: Soda is the devil! So are alcoholic beverages!
    So does that mean that a Rum and Coke is like Kryptonite to Scott?
  • Rule Orange: Scott can kill with a stare. Particularly vegetation.
  • Rule Yellow: All eggs must not be runny whatsoever. They must have the McDonalds' egg consistency to be 100% approved by Scott Rubin.
  • Rule Neo-moronic Green Tetrahedron of DOOOM, from subsection Greater White Fox of the Wide Plains of section Two thousand three hundred and twenty million twelve in the 87th print of the 21st book of Works by the Greater Scott Rubin as told by Scott Rubin: Scott's Box.
    Rule Neo-moronic Green Tetrahedron of DOOOM (a), from subsection Greater White Fox of the Wide Plains of section Two thousand three hundred and twenty million twelve in the 87th print of the 21st book of Works by the Greater Scott Rubin as told by Scott Rubin: Scott's Box concerns itself with informing it's followers about the comics worth ones time or small change, once every month.
    Rule Neo-moronic Green Tetrahedron of DOOOM (b), from subsection Greater White Fox of the Wide Plains of section Two thousand three hundred and twenty million twelve in the 87th print of the 21st book of Works by the Greater Scott Rubin as told by Scott Rubin: Scott's Box follows the Google formula of eternal beta.
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