I don't let it stop me either. I act even when I don't have confidence.
Well, that's step one. The rest is really a matter of repetition. You have to continue going forth even through your lack of confidence. It's a marathon and not a race, as the saying goes.
But like Sail said, if you've identified things you don't like about yourself, try fixing them. Just saying "low self-esteem" isn't going to cut it; you need to drill down and say "I have low self-esteem in part because of X, Y, and Z." Some of those are fixable on your own, some are fixable with therapy (and possibly medication), and some can't be fixed. But at the very least, the self-assessment is incredibly useful.
I've tried the medication, though I want to try some different medication than what was initially recommended to me. I try self-assessing, but I usually wind up going in a circle, or realizing that my low self-confidence comes from the way I think other people think about me, which I can't change.
I've tried the medication, though I want to try some different medication than what was initially recommended to me. I try self-assessing, but I usually wind up going in a circle, or realizing that my low self-confidence comes from the way I think other people think about me, which I can't change.
The realization you have to come to is that EVERYONE has these doubts and self-image problems and all sorts of fucked up shit. Get people to talk about themselves and build close bonds with them (People like to talk about themselves) You'll get insight into how they think and the problems they face and you'll realize that a good 98% of us don't know what we are doing and are just hoping to get through the day without doing something embarrassing. Once you realize everything is not staged perfectly as on TV you realize we are all wandering pretty much blind through life. Use that to free yourself and move forward.
the way I think other people think about me, which I can't change.
That's fucking bullshit, and it's fucking irrational to boot. A rational person recognizes that everyone has opinions about everyone. Their reasons are their own, and you will likely never know nor be able to change them. So, everyone else can go fuck themselves, because what's important is ultimately that you are a happy person. And how you achieve that is by being all you can possibly be, which only comes through piercing the heavens with your mighty drill.
Get some Maslow's Hierarcy of Needs up in this bitch.
I try self-assessing, but I usually wind up going in a circle
You need to learn when you're just going around and circles and stop. Or rather, stop reacting to the going around in circles business.
If the going around in circles is making it hard for you to figure out what it is that you don't like, just self-assess until you find something that you think you don't like and work on it. Making progress on self-improvement also makes you generally more confident in yourself, which helps you with further self-improvement.
The last whole page of this thread was filled with advice trying to help you, but as long as you keep responding to our "Yes, you can"s with your "No, I can't"s, nothing can be done.
I have so many insecurities. I really don't think about them that much as I once did in my youth. I've realized I'm awesome and continue to do awesome thing and improve myself and my insecurities.
Awesome stands out in a crowd. There's a reason you're the leader of the West Coast Crew. ;^)
You're claiming to be a rational person while claiming that aspects of your life whose only dependent variables are aspects of your own ideology and the amount of effort you put into improving them are somehow beyond your control. That's patent irrationality, my friend.
I have so many insecurities. I really don't think about them that much as I once did in my youth. I've realized I'm awesome and continue to do awesome thing and improve myself and my insecurities.
Awesome stands out in a crowd. There's a reason you're the leader of the West Coast Crew. ;^)
Does SoCal have its own crew? or do we elect an ambassador to represent us and accompany Ro to the PAXs?
Does SoCal have its own crew? or do we elect an ambassador to represent us and accompany Ro to the PAXs?
I wouldn't venture as far as having elected ambassadors or any formal structure, really, but to answer your question - When someone says "FRCf West coast Crew" or something similar, can you form a simple list in your mind of who they're talking about? If so, then yes, there pretty much is. (P.s - In my head, that list is pretty much the forum regulars from Cali, and Ro, who I don't know whereupon resides, and finally, there are a few attached people to them.)
Win - New place, cheaper rent, nicer house, easier to clean, back deck to smoke my pipe on, close to some shops and transport, easy to get to, big yard.
Fail - We've only just got the power and water hooked up, and currently have no TV, no Internet(other than 3G on our mobiles, and tethering is a bad idea and unnecessary in this case), and No phone(besides our mobiles).
Win - I'm super close to the Exchange(Just barely over a kilometer), and it's an Exchange TPG uses - If I go through TPG, I can get a pretty fast connection.
Fail - Since my requests that we set the whole thing up beforehand were ignored, it's not unlikely that I'll be sitting on my ring with no internet - other than being able to slip over to friends places as I am now - for about a fucking week, minimum, which essentially cripples me in looking for jobs in any worthwhile fashion, as well as being about to get news, and communicate effectively with many of my friends.
Extra fail - This wouldn't have been a problem, if the Internet and games Cafe that I spend a number of years as a very regular patron of hadn't closed down just a few weeks before.
So a few months ago I spotted an ex of mine in a bookstore. She'd really done some crappy stuff to me back in the day, and I really wanted to be able to show her that I was happy (and still gay) now. Meaning, I wanted to be spotted enjoying my life, preferably with my fiancee. Well, it didn't happen, and I figured I'd lost a good chance.
Yesterday I was at the bookstore again, and it seems she works there. It so happens that this time my fiancee was with me, and we were in fact having a great time (discussing the Very Hungry Caterpillar and Charles Dickens). Every time we'd wander into an area where my ex was working though, she'd promptly vanish. Natalie finally spotted her at a help desk and decided to go over and ask her to help her find the Very Hungry Caterpillar (which we actually couldn't find). She saw my beautiful, confident, charming fiancee approaching her, went wide-eyed, and... ran away and hid behind a bookshelf. While Natalie was getting help from someone else, my ex was spotted peeking out at her from behind said bookshelf, and then... running away out the door.
I had wanted some sort of closure from this, ideally. I'd thought that I just wouldn't get any, and I was ok with that. I'm ok with this too. Somehow it's even a little more satisfying to see that she hasn't really changed since we last saw each other, where I've grown a lot.
I wanted to play video games instead of doing homework for today. A freak windstorm knocked out the university's power which canceled classes all day. We in the business call this gambling.
Fail: Will be recalibrating my ipod touch nike plus sensor tomorrow for a more accurate distance reading. Win: It is only one mile so I can beat my previous time
Boo-yah: I started listening to Neutral Milk Hotel again for the first time in too long. Fail: I can't get any school work done because I have all of these songs stuck in my head and the temptation to search for Youtube videos of them is too strong.
Fail: The RIT registration system can't fucking handle all the freshmen trying to get their courses at once. Registration started at 6:00AM, hour and a half later, people are still getting 503, 'far as the eye can see.
Boo-Yah: Still managed to get into ALL of the sections/classes I wanted. SHITYES.
Boo-yah: I just wrote an awesome (in my opinion) cover/parody/tribute to Tim Minchin's Dark Side, called Light Side. It turns out it's really easy to write a good song if you can leach off the genius of another artist.
Fail: I my finger is now bleeding because I got a bit to "into" the guitar playing, and I've sprayed blood everywhere.
Fail 2: It took me 3 hours to write the whole thing, and I've still not had breakfast.
Comments
But like Sail said, if you've identified things you don't like about yourself, try fixing them. Just saying "low self-esteem" isn't going to cut it; you need to drill down and say "I have low self-esteem in part because of X, Y, and Z." Some of those are fixable on your own, some are fixable with therapy (and possibly medication), and some can't be fixed. But at the very least, the self-assessment is incredibly useful.
Or just be miserable.
Get some Maslow's Hierarcy of Needs up in this bitch.
If the going around in circles is making it hard for you to figure out what it is that you don't like, just self-assess until you find something that you think you don't like and work on it. Making progress on self-improvement also makes you generally more confident in yourself, which helps you with further self-improvement.
You're claiming to be a rational person while claiming that aspects of your life whose only dependent variables are aspects of your own ideology and the amount of effort you put into improving them are somehow beyond your control. That's patent irrationality, my friend.
It felt pretty good
Fail: Now I feel the need to go down to 6 minutes 50 seconds :O
Booh-yah: I'm drunk so I don't care that much.
Win: Now I know better :S
(P.s - In my head, that list is pretty much the forum regulars from Cali, and Ro, who I don't know whereupon resides, and finally, there are a few attached people to them.)
Win - New place, cheaper rent, nicer house, easier to clean, back deck to smoke my pipe on, close to some shops and transport, easy to get to, big yard.
Fail - We've only just got the power and water hooked up, and currently have no TV, no Internet(other than 3G on our mobiles, and tethering is a bad idea and unnecessary in this case), and No phone(besides our mobiles).
Win - I'm super close to the Exchange(Just barely over a kilometer), and it's an Exchange TPG uses - If I go through TPG, I can get a pretty fast connection.
Fail - Since my requests that we set the whole thing up beforehand were ignored, it's not unlikely that I'll be sitting on my ring with no internet - other than being able to slip over to friends places as I am now - for about a fucking week, minimum, which essentially cripples me in looking for jobs in any worthwhile fashion, as well as being about to get news, and communicate effectively with many of my friends.
Extra fail - This wouldn't have been a problem, if the Internet and games Cafe that I spend a number of years as a very regular patron of hadn't closed down just a few weeks before.
Yesterday I was at the bookstore again, and it seems she works there. It so happens that this time my fiancee was with me, and we were in fact having a great time (discussing the Very Hungry Caterpillar and Charles Dickens). Every time we'd wander into an area where my ex was working though, she'd promptly vanish. Natalie finally spotted her at a help desk and decided to go over and ask her to help her find the Very Hungry Caterpillar (which we actually couldn't find). She saw my beautiful, confident, charming fiancee approaching her, went wide-eyed, and... ran away and hid behind a bookshelf. While Natalie was getting help from someone else, my ex was spotted peeking out at her from behind said bookshelf, and then... running away out the door.
I had wanted some sort of closure from this, ideally. I'd thought that I just wouldn't get any, and I was ok with that. I'm ok with this too. Somehow it's even a little more satisfying to see that she hasn't really changed since we last saw each other, where I've grown a lot.
I'm awesome.
Fail: Sore shoulder
Win: It is only one mile so I can beat my previous time
Fail: I can't get any school work done because I have all of these songs stuck in my head and the temptation to search for Youtube videos of them is too strong.
Boo-Yah: Still managed to get into ALL of the sections/classes I wanted. SHITYES.
Fail: I my finger is now bleeding because I got a bit to "into" the guitar playing, and I've sprayed blood everywhere.
Fail 2: It took me 3 hours to write the whole thing, and I've still not had breakfast.