Depression and Such

Viga

Wondering if I'm alone on this.

I have been in help for a few weeks, but I have major relapses. Jed, stopped me from dying today. I'm so melo D.

I think I'll read that book recommended in the Dating thread.

George Patches

I would never have pegged you as depressed, you always seem so happy and upbeat when i see you. And you rocked at Spot-It.

EDIT: Oh, and you're hardly alone. Have you read the forums lately? :P

Dragonmaster Lou

Wow... glad to hear you're okay...

Anrild

You're not alone, although I've made a point to not talk to my friends about my issues as of this past year. I've had too many people tell me I'm being dramatic for attention without bothering to actually understand, and I got tired of people misinterpreting things or feeling responsible or that I was a burden, and found it easier to just not tell people. Eventually I found this didn't really work and ended up breaking down on my Costume Design professor (as he's the professor I see on a day-to-day basis, and he voiced worry about how I seemed to be doing), and I admitted to having hid HUGE issues from everyone as to not make it a problem for others or to be judged by the people I'm obligated to work with as part of the theater.

Edit: That said, although we haven't talked much, I think you're awesome and want to do what I can to help you get through stuff if you need an open and impartial ear, I'm here for you.

Coldguy

Hey Viga I hope you are going through everything you can in this. I have been in a spout before and still have some effects of it myself, just remember if you ever need to talk to someone we will be here for you to help as much as we can. You can do it!

Nuri

I have major relapses too. In fact, I'm in danger of possibly fucking up my grades this semester because of a really bad one I'm still getting over. Being a happy person has nothing to do with episodic depression. I recently found out that failing to medicate my ADD complicates the treatment of the depression (because it's all about balancing brain chemicals). So now I have to find an ADD drug to add to my depression drug so that everything will actually work. Stupid brains are so complicated. >_<

I'm glad you are getting help. It's good that you have Jed to support you. Having support is really, really important.

Axel

Depression is something I very regularly deal with. It's genetic, got it from my Dad.

I've never wanted to kill myself, but I have regularly felt useless and like a waste of space. There is no combat to it I know, but meds can be helpful, though I've seen that road fail before. It's careful, you have to take good care of it.

Honestly, the best medicine is to surround yourself with things you enjoy. I was given the chance at a life time to be accepted into the Game Design program at RIT, and depression doesn't stop me from knowing that I have a chance I can't screw up. Maybe your schooling isn't ideal, I don't know, it could be. But from what I've seen of your life, you do cool things, and that should be enough to inspire you to ignore your depression. In my experience, it doesn't go away easily, sometimes at all. I still deal with it. I don't expect it to go away without meds, which I'm still shaky about.

However, even if you're still having depression, you can accomplish daily tasks. If it gets to a point where you don't think you can accomplish daily tasks, medicine might be required. The fact that you're going to therapy is good, and makes you a stronger person than me.

Omnutia

Days like yesterday, death doesn't seem so bad. I'm a stranger in my own home and don't have much in the way of friends in the country I can reach out to. Life's gone so wrong, it doesn't seem to matter any more.
More than anything, just being able to do something, for better or worse, is what I want.

I'm going to sleep this off.

Anrild

Medications are a VERY good thing, being on the right ones are what counts. Oddly enough, my birth control treats my depression. Being off of it for a few months severely messed me up, and I'm definitely feeling less anxiety and unwanted depressive thoughts now that I'm back on it. Hormones and chemicals are complicated, like Nuri said. I can understand medication anxiety, this was a major issue I had to get past a few years back. But honestly, distractions aren't going to make chemical problems go away.

George Patches

I get really depressed by the fact that I only seem to have casual friends here in DC. I have people to hang out with, but if I don't suggest we hang out, we never do. No one ever seems to contact me wanting to hang out.

ninjarabbi

I get really depressed by the fact that I only seem to have casual friends here in DC. I have people to hang out with, but if I don't suggest we hang out, we never do. No one ever seems to contact me wanting to hang out.

I hear ya there pal.

Dromaro

Wondering if I'm alone on this.

You're never alone, despite how it may feel. Words can be of little use when you're in it but trust me, there are people who care, even if they aren't the best at showing it. Stay strong, FRCF friend.

Sail

One of my best friends ever tried to commit suicide in junior year of high school. One of the scariest moments of my life when I found out about that. I can't stand the thought that I might have lost her.

Walker

I've been dealing with severe panic attacks and suicidal thoughts for the past six months or so. My philosophy has been that happiness may be too much to ask for right away, but I can be determined. If I stay determined to work and live, I should be OK until I can pick the pieces of my mind up off the floor. Good luck to everyone here, especially Viga and Omnutia.

Amp

I am of the view that I don't let this stuff define me. I see so many people, not saying people here but as a statement, who are depressed and that is hoe they introduce themselves and have let it become their whole person. I used to be like that and realized that it stopped me from being me. I still get bummed but its not the only thing about me.

gomidog

Brains are weird. The strangest thing is when a mental health issue is genetic. I have anxiety/OCD issues that are really clearly biologically inherited from my family, but it's kind of nice to have someone to talk to about panic attacks and realize that you are basically going through an identical problem. Anxiety sometimes causes depression when it gets really bad, but instead of not caring you worry a bunch! When I get stressed, I really obsess over my phobias and it makes life pretty sucky, and you start to think "this will go on forever!" Medicine is really helpful (SSRIs) and so is talking to a therapist. You can tell them all about whatever issues you are dealing with and you don't have to worry that they will get mad at you, or that it will cause drama. They are professional listeners and advice givers!

Good luck to those of you who are going through depression. It gets better!

no fun girl

I have major relapses too. In fact, I'm in danger of possibly fucking up my grades this semester because of a really bad one I'm still getting over. Being a happy person has nothing to do with episodic depression.

I hear you on that one.

Regarding the book, here's a 2008 article on some interesting brain science.
tl;dr: the physical state of the brain affects the mental state of the mind. and vice versa

lackofcheese

tl;dr: the physical state of the brain affects the mental state of the mind. and vice versa

What a surprise.

Viga

I would never have pegged you as depressed, you always seem so happy and upbeat when i see you. And you rocked at Spot-It.

Fake it till you make, friend. PAX was a nice diversion from my problems. Looking forward to AB is another. I'm always cool on the outside until I get around Jed or someone else I trust completely. Or sometimes I can't help but break down in front of people. It happened last semester at school. I never want to be seen as vulnerable.

Thank you, forumites, for everything. And for those like me, let's keep rooting for each other.

The science behind depression is a very interesting topic. (Science is cool!) I think I'll look into it more. Any books anyone recommends? Gotta hit up Borders before Sat anyway.

no fun girl

The science behind depression is a very interesting topic. (Science is cool!)

KapitänTim

You know your really aren't depressed and you don't need any medications to make you feel better. I will however fix it for you for a nominal fee. I can help you remove these theatans that are plaguing you.

WindUpBird

Got it genetically. SAD too, possibly ADD as well, which complicates things even further.

The worst spell in a few years was earlier this year, wherein I woke up at around 4pm, could bring myself to get out of bed, and just kind of laid there for an hour trying not to cry before calling my mom and telling her what was up. I gradually felt better, but I'm still stuck at the tail end of a spell. Still unmedicated, but I've gotten significantly better, despite being in a similar situation to Nuri's with school.

Depression is serious business. I've noticed, though, that my lifestyle decisions help a lot. For example, I feel incredible during the summers, because I can take time off, hike, backpack, and travel when I feel bad, and because I have pretty significant wanderlust, it makes me feel great. However, in school, I tend to feel trapped because I can't escape on any given weekend, and that's made worse by the fact that my school is in the middle of the cornfields of scenic central Illinois.

It's all about how you cope. I use fast cars, exploring, and book/music collecting. Other people use therapy and medicines. It's all good.

Viga

You know your really aren't depressed and you don't need any medications to make you feel better. I will however fix it for you for a nominal fee. I can help you remove these theatans that are plaguing you.

no fun girl

I'm not gonna kill myself. I'm not that stupid.

Suicide is a result of pain exceeding one's ability to cope with it. Intelligence has very little to do with that.

One's intelligence has a lot to do with how much pain you can cope with.

Seriously. having been a friend of very intelligent shooters, hangers, poisoners, and having been a jumper at some point, that misunderstanding irks me. Often suicidal decisions occur in a depressed person's recovery period, not in an emotional state, but rather a logical "this is the best way to avoid horrible time" way. It's about stress hormones and the decreased physical ability of the brain to handle them.

(Sorry to break in from the other thread.)

WindUpBird

Often suicidal decisions occur in a depressed person's recovery period, not in an emotional state, but rather a logical "this is the best way to avoid horrible time" way. It's about stress hormones and the decreased physical ability of the brain to handle them.

This. A lot of pain can be handled intelligently. But internal pain from chemical inbalances is inherently irrational. You can't reason your way out of it, in much the same way a schizophrenic can't say, "These voices are just an imbalance, God isn't telling me to burn myself and kill people."

ninjarabbi

I know I've got some mental issues since it runs in the family. I don't think I need counseling but I probably will end up on some medication in the future. Though the idea that depression is only a chemical condition and isn't emotional. Yes there are plenty of people that beyond all odds are depressed and need medication, but sometimes life just deals you shit and its depressing. Oddly enough what seems to help me the most is talking to more depressed people than me. I guess by trying to help them it sort of puts my things in perspective and lets me hear things I probably wouldn't normally say to myself. I know a lot of my depression is just environmental or just caused by shit in my life. Being cooped up indoors all winter long not being able to really go anywhere gets to me, even being the introvert that I am. And plus I don't like a lot of the things my friends like up here and the things I like a few and far between. It just gets to me. I also have the problem that I seem to be (in my opinion) a combination of lazy and OCD, meaning that I'm messy but the mess I make bothers me a lot and it takes me forever to clean it. It bothers me to the point I can't get anything done but its still hard for me to actually go and clean it up very well. I've gotten panic attacks from this stuff before. Basically I just have a bunch of mental issues that I need to change before I go crazy.

I've also remember hearing somewhere that suicide actually can be a helpful idea in a way. I don't remember where I heard it but the idea was that its always there as a last resort. The key is not to actually do it. But the fact that its there can take some of the pressure off. I guess its like keeping a pack of cigs around while you're trying to quit smoking.

Churba

I've also remember hearing somewhere that suicide actually can be a helpful idea in a way. I don't remember where I heard it but the idea was that its always there as a last resort. The key is not to actually do it. But the fact that its there can take some of the pressure off. I guess its like keeping a pack of cigs around while you're trying to quit smoking.

Actually, oddly enough, it seems that Smoking helps me control my depression a bit, and going without fucks me up severely. Last time I tried to quit smoking, I was actively considering putting a .308 round through my scone. About two seconds after I lit up - the all trace of that impulse vanishes.

ninjarabbi

I've also remember hearing somewhere that suicide actually can be a helpful idea in a way. I don't remember where I heard it but the idea was that its always there as a last resort. The key is not to actually do it. But the fact that its there can take some of the pressure off. I guess its like keeping a pack of cigs around while you're trying to quit smoking.

Actually, oddly enough, it seems that Smoking helps me control my depression a bit, and going without fucks me up severely. Last time I tried to quit smoking, I was actively considering putting a .308 round through my scone.

Well nicotine has been known to relax people. And I think just the action of smoking can be relaxing too. Sometimes just a little ritual like that can help.

no fun girl

Various factors can trigger a depressive downward spiral, best responded to with a variety of "therapies," whether the coping mechanisms sub/consciously absorbed from others, or straight up medical help. My main concern is that I don't see depression being recognized as more than "just in your head": an ironically trivializing statement. For some people, dismissal of emotions is an effective coping method. (I separate that from "mind over matter" which implies awareness of the material issue, and strikes me as similar to "intention"-based therapies.) But for others, that can make the symptoms worse, especially if one has learned poor coping skills from similarly troubled family members. Plus, western culture is still battling the romanticized image of depression as the artist's blessing/curse.

I look forward to the day where a depressive episode is seen like an infection. Something that anyone can have now and then, and can treat before it gets serious.

TheWhaleShark

.308 round

Hey, funny enough, that's what I wanted to use too. You have good taste in ammunition.

I don't quite remember what it was that made me not want to kill myself anymore, but I do remember that it was a hell of a struggle to go from that point to being a functioning person. If I had my choice in doing it all over again, I'd be in therapy from the moment I felt I was having problems dealing with my emotions.

Churba

Hey, funny enough, that's what I wanted to use too. You have good taste in ammunition.

Call it force of habit - .308 is almost identical in size and ballistics to 7.62.