Pony fans have mental problems? I don't believe it.
Whoa hey, not cool.
I said I don't believe it though.
Why the hell not! Bronies are people. We all are people before we are any subculture! Even the most unassuming happy person could be a mess on the inside so shut the fuck up!
Edit: Sorry, I didn't mean to be that angry. You just wouldn't understand.
Pony fans have mental problems? I don't believe it.
Whoa hey, not cool.
I said I don't believe it though.
Why the hell not! Bronies are people. We all are people before we are any subculture! Even the most unassuming happy person could be a mess on the inside so shut the fuck up!
Edit: Sorry, I didn't mean to be that angry. You just wouldn't understand.
I've been so depressed lately that I've actually been considering ECT.
The bad, bad thing is that many people report terrible memory loss. Some people have reported that they lost years of memory. Jonathan Cott wrote a book about his experience with ECT that caused him to lose fifteen years of his memory. Many people have stories like this. There was, in fact, a study by Duke University in 2008 that determined that, even people who did not believe they suffered cognitive loss after ECT, in fact suffered measurable cognitive loss.
BUT - here's the question ; if a person is so hampered by depression that he can't effectively use his cognitive ability in the first place, what harm is there in losing some of that ability?
How close are we to just being able to have nanobots just infest our brains and fix our brain chemistry and be dine with it? Do I have time to wait?
While I'm. Not depressed I am dealing with some feelings of despair. I've got a mountain of debt from my divorce, just wrecked my car (was going to replace, 11 years old) I don't get to see my daughter as much as I want to and the one thing holding me down is the $2K I have to pay my ex every month for 5 more years. If that one thing went away everything else would sort itself out.
My one hope is that she moves out of town and my daughter moves in with me.
Part of the problem also is that I have to work nights at work to make the numbers work. Which leads to less time with my kid...
Actually, Johns Hopkins has this deal they call "Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation". It's supposed to avoid all the bad things about ECT while still giving the benefits of "re-setting" your brain. Basically, they move an ultrapowerful magnet all around your head to polarize your little neurons and induce weak electrical currents in your brain.
The only problem is, it's still pretty experimental, and most insurances won't pay for it. However, they say that they've had good results.
Actually, now that I see that written down, it almost sounds like those magnetic bracelets they try to sell on TV. That can't be right, can it? They're going to be shooting enough magnetism into your brain that it actually does something, right?
I still want the nanobots. When can we reasonably expect the nanobots?
To me, depression bouts can come when I least expect them or want them, and I've been known for having really bad ones - Viga can attest to at least two of them.
However, in my case, said dep bouts (which often last about a day) are part of the whole ordeal of having a thyroid gland condition. So when I feel one coming, I crank up the volume to DragonForce (it's my musical Prozac) or some Siam Shade, and if it's really bad, I take a slightly more natural option to alcohol or meds: Chocolate. I dunno if it's a placebo effect or not, but it's helped me often.
I had to go to psychology sessions in 2009-2010. It kinda helped, but not in the way I hoped it would. I also had to take Prozac for a time because I can get anxious, therefore I get eh munchies, therefore I put on weight. I don't like it, though, and I stopped going to the doctor that prescribed me that med. I prefer to overcome those bouts on my own.
However, I can't say I'm totally over the last spells of depression. They can get really bad, and I admit I've tried to kill myself before, but after a dear friend of mine did commit suicide, I promised on her tomb that I wouldn't try to do it again. I've felt like dying several times, but I've kept my promise to Adriana.
The wife and I are on bad terms. She is going to spend T'giving out-of-state. I'm uninvited.
Aside from having frozen pizza for T'giving dinner, which doesn't really bother me by itself - I've had plenty of crappy holidays - I'm concerned about being alone for many days in a row. One of the things that's kept me from suicide more than once is the concern that I don't want someone to find and "save" me. If I was alone for that long, this concern really wouldn't be a factor.
So, I'm going to be really looking for reasons to stay safe. So far, I don't have many.
If it makes you feel better I can make a stupid claim that is easy to counter?
You can't seriously have no one to hang with for turkey day. Go visit your own family members or see some friends. I don't enjoy the three hour drive to my dad's place but I'll do it to avoid spending the day alone.
Going to therapy has really helped my this year. It's good to have a neutral party in your life to talk to. I still have the relapses, but it's been about two months since my last attempt.
Doing something accomplishing does help too. Putting my all into comics give me a bit of purpose. My goal is to get all the stories I want to tell out of me before I think of dying again. Creativity is probably my escapism. It's healthier than a more passive activity.
The depression has been at bay for a bit. Still looking into meds though.
So, I'm going to be really looking for reasons to stay safe. So far, I don't have many.
When I run out of reasons, I have someone to remind me. Usually that is Jed.
I don't know much about you except for your forum self, but there has to be a reason.
Been depressed lately due to school studying. Too many stupid damn hoops to jump through, and studying for unnecessary tests. I've change majors already, I wish I could just drop this class because I know it's pointless and what's worse is that I can't download the powerpoints because his private website is broken.
I've also realized, I have a pretty abnormal fear of my brother. He's four years older than me, (Which is apparently the best age gap to screw with your sibling) and I've been noticing that I only really hang out with him to make him happy. He's definitely more physically imposing than me and more likely to lash out. But I've also noticed, when I talk with other people I can really get into discussion and topics. Yet with my brother, I tend to stutter and loose concentration easily and most of his ways of talking with me is to reference something with both liked 5 to 10 years ago. (Like bad movies or rap music) I've worried myself because I'm wondering if he's depressed because of his random bouts of anger, but lately his dickishness has been too much to bare.
It gets dark over here really early, and I've been having massive mood-swings more than usual. It's like a really mild manic-depression. My drinking on nights out doesn't really help things; I'll stay way up until something bad happens in the course of the evening, and then when something bad does inevitably happen, the crash is almost unbearable.
I'm trying to cope by starting a diary comic like American Elf along with certain other artistic pursuits, because the events of the other night were pretty fucking awful. Luckily I seem to have cycled up since then.
I hesitate to think about how bad this could be if the medication I was on was not indicated for cyclothymia. I'm actually pretty confident that this is indeed cyclothymia made manageable by the addition of said drug; my high times are nearly manic (rapid speech, extreme optimism, hyperproductivity, decreased sleep, aggression, a host of other things), and my low points are acutely dysphoric (sleep twelve hours, eat a sandwich, dick around on Reddit all day in my PJs, lather, rinse, repeat). Couple that with a history of depression on both sides of the family and the fact that cyclothymia may be genetic, and I'm well-set to inherit just this sort of behavior.
Skyrim would make my life better, but there's no gaming rig here. So I'm just going to spend three weeks backpacking, and spend four of those days in Amsterdam.
@Steve: Actually, a good idea, but I'm at the point where my depression/anxiety/panic (and even agoraphobia) are affecting my focus/concentration/reaction time enough so that I shouldn't be driving.
@Viga: Thanks, but, as I get older, the reasons really become fewer and fewer.
The good thing about my depression is that, in a way, it actually prevents suicide because suicide would require some form of action and, right now, it's hard for me to even have the motivation to type this.
Sorry - I know I say this kind of stuff a lot, but it's been on my mind more and more. Things are closing in and options are getting fewer and farther between.
Also - sorry for the double post, but since I can't add to the first post, a double post is what you'll get.
If you do get up the energy to try to kill yourself, and you fail, your life is going to suck even harder than it does now. So don't bother. You are better off suffering through it and waiting until you feel like doing something.
Comments
Edit: Sorry, I didn't mean to be that angry. You just wouldn't understand.
WORSHIP ME MORTAL! Oh sure, next you're going to tell me that furries are weirdos.
_cause I'm not that mean_
The bad, bad thing is that many people report terrible memory loss. Some people have reported that they lost years of memory. Jonathan Cott wrote a book about his experience with ECT that caused him to lose fifteen years of his memory. Many people have stories like this. There was, in fact, a study by Duke University in 2008 that determined that, even people who did not believe they suffered cognitive loss after ECT, in fact suffered measurable cognitive loss.
BUT - here's the question ; if a person is so hampered by depression that he can't effectively use his cognitive ability in the first place, what harm is there in losing some of that ability?
How close are we to just being able to have nanobots just infest our brains and fix our brain chemistry and be dine with it? Do I have time to wait?
My one hope is that she moves out of town and my daughter moves in with me.
Part of the problem also is that I have to work nights at work to make the numbers work. Which leads to less time with my kid...
Unless I could find her a new husband?
The only problem is, it's still pretty experimental, and most insurances won't pay for it. However, they say that they've had good results.
Actually, now that I see that written down, it almost sounds like those magnetic bracelets they try to sell on TV. That can't be right, can it? They're going to be shooting enough magnetism into your brain that it actually does something, right?
I still want the nanobots. When can we reasonably expect the nanobots?
-_-
Where is my Scotch?
However, in my case, said dep bouts (which often last about a day) are part of the whole ordeal of having a thyroid gland condition. So when I feel one coming, I crank up the volume to DragonForce (it's my musical Prozac) or some Siam Shade, and if it's really bad, I take a slightly more natural option to alcohol or meds: Chocolate. I dunno if it's a placebo effect or not, but it's helped me often.
I had to go to psychology sessions in 2009-2010. It kinda helped, but not in the way I hoped it would. I also had to take Prozac for a time because I can get anxious, therefore I get eh munchies, therefore I put on weight. I don't like it, though, and I stopped going to the doctor that prescribed me that med. I prefer to overcome those bouts on my own.
However, I can't say I'm totally over the last spells of depression. They can get really bad, and I admit I've tried to kill myself before, but after a dear friend of mine did commit suicide, I promised on her tomb that I wouldn't try to do it again. I've felt like dying several times, but I've kept my promise to Adriana.
Aside from having frozen pizza for T'giving dinner, which doesn't really bother me by itself - I've had plenty of crappy holidays - I'm concerned about being alone for many days in a row. One of the things that's kept me from suicide more than once is the concern that I don't want someone to find and "save" me. If I was alone for that long, this concern really wouldn't be a factor.
So, I'm going to be really looking for reasons to stay safe. So far, I don't have many.
You can't seriously have no one to hang with for turkey day. Go visit your own family members or see some friends. I don't enjoy the three hour drive to my dad's place but I'll do it to avoid spending the day alone.
Or pick up a copy of Skyrim
Doing something accomplishing does help too. Putting my all into comics give me a bit of purpose. My goal is to get all the stories I want to tell out of me before I think of dying again. Creativity is probably my escapism. It's healthier than a more passive activity.
The depression has been at bay for a bit. Still looking into meds though. When I run out of reasons, I have someone to remind me. Usually that is Jed.
I don't know much about you except for your forum self, but there has to be a reason.
I've also realized, I have a pretty abnormal fear of my brother. He's four years older than me, (Which is apparently the best age gap to screw with your sibling) and I've been noticing that I only really hang out with him to make him happy. He's definitely more physically imposing than me and more likely to lash out. But I've also noticed, when I talk with other people I can really get into discussion and topics. Yet with my brother, I tend to stutter and loose concentration easily and most of his ways of talking with me is to reference something with both liked 5 to 10 years ago. (Like bad movies or rap music) I've worried myself because I'm wondering if he's depressed because of his random bouts of anger, but lately his dickishness has been too much to bare.
I'm trying to cope by starting a diary comic like American Elf along with certain other artistic pursuits, because the events of the other night were pretty fucking awful. Luckily I seem to have cycled up since then.
I hesitate to think about how bad this could be if the medication I was on was not indicated for cyclothymia. I'm actually pretty confident that this is indeed cyclothymia made manageable by the addition of said drug; my high times are nearly manic (rapid speech, extreme optimism, hyperproductivity, decreased sleep, aggression, a host of other things), and my low points are acutely dysphoric (sleep twelve hours, eat a sandwich, dick around on Reddit all day in my PJs, lather, rinse, repeat). Couple that with a history of depression on both sides of the family and the fact that cyclothymia may be genetic, and I'm well-set to inherit just this sort of behavior.
Skyrim would make my life better, but there's no gaming rig here. So I'm just going to spend three weeks backpacking, and spend four of those days in Amsterdam.
@Viga: Thanks, but, as I get older, the reasons really become fewer and fewer.
The good thing about my depression is that, in a way, it actually prevents suicide because suicide would require some form of action and, right now, it's hard for me to even have the motivation to type this.
Things are closing in and options are getting fewer and farther between.
Also - sorry for the double post, but since I can't add to the first post, a double post is what you'll get.