Sorry - I know I say this kind of stuff a lot, but it's been on my mind more and more. Things are closing in and options are getting fewer and farther between.
Also - sorry for the double post, but since I can't add to the first post, a double post is what you'll get.
Joe, you've helped me through at least one very low point before, and I know that even though we've never properly met, if you were gone, I'd really miss you. I'm sure other people on the board feel the same. Please call that number, or call someone you can rely on.
Remember how this turned out for Ethan? You've got an advantage over him, in that you're not actually trapped and isolated - you just need some help to get you to realize that.
Hey - I'm okay. Don't worry about me. I just kind of naturally think about this stuff. I have all my life. It doesn't help when you have a close family member who chose that way out. It kind of sticks in your mind as a possibility - BUT you also know how it affects others, so the result is that you think about it a lot, and you might even talk about it some, but when you actually think about what it would mean to everyone you know afterwards - you know that you will never actually do it.
Things are low right now, but it's not a major crisis. I have some friends who will check up on me during Thanksgiving to make sure I'm okay.
Also, as I always say, I'm not going to be motivated enough to actually act on anything. What will most likely happen is that I will just not get out of bed for the whole weekend except to attend to the dog, or if I can work up the motivation to get out of bed, I'll just play Xbox. I haven't played anything in about six months, and I have squirreled away some games I want to play for just such a situation.
Also, I have appointments with both my psychologist and my psychiatrist tomorrow.
Things look glum, but I WILL live to see the Singularity, goddammit. I want to be uploaded into a virtual world like in Ready, Player One and, hopefully, the coders can just truncate the depression/anxiety stuff.
This has gotten me through many a tough time - the hope to live to see shiny new tech. So far, it has been a tremendous help. I can lose faith about my prospects for being happy, but I can always count on the tech progressing to points I want to be present to see.
So seriously - don't worry. I'm sorry I've been so moody and gloomy lately. But hey - Holden Caulfield has nothin' on me, right?
Viga you're not alone, I suffered from depression for over a year, and I'm pretty sure I'm still depressed today but I'm not gonna let that slow me down (or force me to be on drugs). I'm kicking my own ass to do things, but that's not for everybody.
Please, it's just a phone call and a conversation.
I'll have the conversation. I never said I wouldn't. I just said not to worry. I'll be fine.
If it weren't a big deal, you wouldn't have posted anything. Call.
Well, you're right. It is kinda a big deal. It's really fucked things up, if you want to know the truth. But as i said before, this isn't the worst I've ever been. There have been much worse times than these and I've gotten through them fine. I'll call and I'll be fine. Don't worry.
Sure, but we're probably going to worry anyhow. Don't worry about us worrying. It's a good thing, because it shows concern and camaraderie. No, you're not being a burden.
This is the kind of support a lot of people need and never get in their families. This is why there's so much solitude nowadays, and why people turn over to the Internet. Someone among the data jungle cares. And it's not just one person.
The internet has, indeed, made the world a smaller place and brought people together.
Until around last February, I was really depressed. I never let it on to my family or friends, but I was honestly in the worst slump of my life. Even thinking about it makes me feel melancholy. I got out of it after I started watching My Little Pony. That show struck a real chord with me and made me feel genuinely happy. It still, does, which I find amazing. I couldn't tell you why, though.
I woke up with a crushing sadness today after only 3 hours sleep. My spidey sense is telling me something bad may happen and I am supposed to have lunch with my mom today.
In other news, my inability to land a job is really starting to wear heavy upon me. I would like a job, some stable income so I don't have to worry about food or rent anymore, and for this bullshit fog in my head to go away. It's times like these where in really glad I don't own a gun...
Depression is kicking in full force right about now. Stress from the possibility of failing at least one class combined with not knowing what to do with my life or why I'm even in college is really bringing me into a dark place. Plus I still can't figure out how I feel about people. I just really don't like being around them for any extended period of time, even with close friends. Despite that I still find myself lonely. Ugh. And somehow despite my misanthropic tendencies I still find myself often intentionally being girl's shoulder to cry on and I can't tell if I'm some weird guy who gets a power trip from it, or if I'm just a genuinely nice guy. Also I have insomnia/messed up sleep schedule and that makes it all worse. Basically I'm fucked in the head.
All you people who don't have jobs, follow these rules.
1) After breakfast, apply to a fuckton of jobs. Even if the description puts it slightly out of bounds, ignore that and apply anyway. You need to be a resume and cover letter factory. If you are having a really hard time, look in different fields or be willing to "downgrade." There are lots of jobs out there if you are willing to do them. For example, I just saw a tweet that there is an opening at the MidTown comics warehouse in NYC. It's a warehouse job, but if I really couldn't get a job, I would take that one while I kept applying to better ones. It also has room for advancement. Lifting heavy things kinda sucks, managing the warehouse is a damn good job.
2) After that, you have a whole day of free time. I hate you. I wish I had so much free time. You better be using that free time to either learn job skills and/or make things. When I mean learn, I mean really learn. Like ingesting open courseware for serious. When I mean making, I mean producing Internet media everyone will enjoy, or crafting for your Etsy store, or writing software, or making something that could potentially become your job.
3) If you are sitting around playing video games and watching Netflix, reread rules 1 and 2.
Scott's oversimplified view of the world is kinda heart-warming some times.
I've been in that spot before. Remember unemployed Scott? Oh, I haz jobz now. But I regret playing a bunch of games when I should have made more stuff instead.
Scott's oversimplified view of the world is kinda heart-warming some times.
Yeah, but I think he's missing what makes it depression in the first place.
I'm not talking about depression. I'm talking about getting a job. If you can't bring yourself to follow my plan due to depression, get professional help.
Scott's oversimplified view of the world is kinda heart-warming some times.
I've been in that spot before. Remember unemployed Scott? Oh, I haz jobz now. But I regret playing a bunch of games when I should have made more stuff instead.
Except, you know, unemployed Scott didn't have a crushing chemical imbalance that made waking up each morning seem like its own job and removed all semblance of motivation until you're basically a zombie whose only emotions are "sadness" and "worthlessness."
Scott's oversimplified view of the world is kinda heart-warming some times.
Yeah, but I think he's missing what makes it depression in the first place.
I'm not talking about depression. I'm talking about getting a job. If you can't bring yourself to follow my plan due to depression, get professional help.
So why would you post that here in the first place? Make a new thread called "How to get a job." I'm not trivializing your input on that subject, and I'm sure there are more than a few people here that could use it, but I would argue that this really isn't the place.
Scott's oversimplified view of the world is kinda heart-warming some times.
Yeah, but I think he's missing what makes it depression in the first place.
I'm not talking about depression. I'm talking about getting a job. If you can't bring yourself to follow my plan due to depression, get professional help.
Some people have more empathy than others. It doesn't help that depression is mostly not thought of as an illness and that the misconception is that we should "cheer up and shit." Some folk just don't want to understand.
This is a good explanation for those that don't understand depression.
Some people have more empathy than others. It doesn't help that depression is mostly not thought of as an illness and that the misconception is that we should "cheer up and shit." Some folk just don't want to understand.
This is a good explanation for those that don't understand depression.
I lived that comic.
Me too. People seem to range from having an intimate understanding of what it's like to struggle with depression to thinking that a person saying "I'm struggling with depression," just means, "I am sad all the time." The former category usually either have had depressive episodes or have family or friends that have. The latter either have not, or are simply oblivious to how serious it can be.
When people don't get it, I usually explain how I felt when I was depressed. "Sad and unmotivated" doesn't usually get the point across. People start to listen when you explain that you used to sleep twelve hours; make an effort not to sob uncontrollably upon waking and make an even greater effort to carry out basic elements of self-maintenance; missed meals, events with friends, and assignments due to apathy; and occasionally stared at your razor blades with a curious sense of wonder as to what digging one into your shoulder might feel like--before deciding self-harm is too much work and returning to your PC to watch Netflix, browse Reddit, and play vidya before repeating the cycle.
When people don't get it, I usually explain how I felt when I was depressed. "Sad and unmotivated" doesn't usually get the point across. People start to listen when you explain that you used to sleep twelve hours; make an effort not to sob uncontrollably upon waking and make an even greater effort to carry out basic elements of self-maintenance; missed meals, events with friends, and assignments due to apathy; and occasionally stared at your razor blades with a curious sense of wonder as to what digging one into your shoulder might feel like--before deciding self-harm is too much work and returning to your PC to watch Netflix, browse Reddit, and play vidya before repeating the cycle.
Comments
Remember how this turned out for Ethan? You've got an advantage over him, in that you're not actually trapped and isolated - you just need some help to get you to realize that.
So please get help.
Things are low right now, but it's not a major crisis. I have some friends who will check up on me during Thanksgiving to make sure I'm okay.
Also, as I always say, I'm not going to be motivated enough to actually act on anything. What will most likely happen is that I will just not get out of bed for the whole weekend except to attend to the dog, or if I can work up the motivation to get out of bed, I'll just play Xbox. I haven't played anything in about six months, and I have squirreled away some games I want to play for just such a situation.
Also, I have appointments with both my psychologist and my psychiatrist tomorrow.
Things look glum, but I WILL live to see the Singularity, goddammit. I want to be uploaded into a virtual world like in Ready, Player One and, hopefully, the coders can just truncate the depression/anxiety stuff.
This has gotten me through many a tough time - the hope to live to see shiny new tech. So far, it has been a tremendous help. I can lose faith about my prospects for being happy, but I can always count on the tech progressing to points I want to be present to see.
So seriously - don't worry. I'm sorry I've been so moody and gloomy lately. But hey - Holden Caulfield has nothin' on me, right?
Until around last February, I was really depressed. I never let it on to my family or friends, but I was honestly in the worst slump of my life. Even thinking about it makes me feel melancholy. I got out of it after I started watching My Little Pony. That show struck a real chord with me and made me feel genuinely happy. It still, does, which I find amazing. I couldn't tell you why, though.
Can't say about MLP (not a fan of it. My brother is, though).
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/11/111117202935.htm#.TsaYwil4AAg.reddit
In other news, my inability to land a job is really starting to wear heavy upon me. I would like a job, some stable income so I don't have to worry about food or rent anymore, and for this bullshit fog in my head to go away. It's times like these where in really glad I don't own a gun...
1) After breakfast, apply to a fuckton of jobs. Even if the description puts it slightly out of bounds, ignore that and apply anyway. You need to be a resume and cover letter factory. If you are having a really hard time, look in different fields or be willing to "downgrade." There are lots of jobs out there if you are willing to do them. For example, I just saw a tweet that there is an opening at the MidTown comics warehouse in NYC. It's a warehouse job, but if I really couldn't get a job, I would take that one while I kept applying to better ones. It also has room for advancement. Lifting heavy things kinda sucks, managing the warehouse is a damn good job.
2) After that, you have a whole day of free time. I hate you. I wish I had so much free time. You better be using that free time to either learn job skills and/or make things. When I mean learn, I mean really learn. Like ingesting open courseware for serious. When I mean making, I mean producing Internet media everyone will enjoy, or crafting for your Etsy store, or writing software, or making something that could potentially become your job.
3) If you are sitting around playing video games and watching Netflix, reread rules 1 and 2.
When people don't get it, I usually explain how I felt when I was depressed. "Sad and unmotivated" doesn't usually get the point across. People start to listen when you explain that you used to sleep twelve hours; make an effort not to sob uncontrollably upon waking and make an even greater effort to carry out basic elements of self-maintenance; missed meals, events with friends, and assignments due to apathy; and occasionally stared at your razor blades with a curious sense of wonder as to what digging one into your shoulder might feel like--before deciding self-harm is too much work and returning to your PC to watch Netflix, browse Reddit, and play vidya before repeating the cycle.