Guys, Scott has a fundamental inability to empathize with people experiencing something he has never gone through. You're not going to "get through" to him because that's not how his brain works. He saw "I have no job" and figured that this must be the main topic of the thread conversation because he doesn't understand depression.
Guys, Scott has a fundamental inability to empathize with people experiencing something he has never gone through. You're not going to "get through" to him because that's not how his brain works. He saw "I have no job" and figured that this must be the main topic of the thread conversation because he doesn't understand depression.
Guys, Scott has a fundamental inability to empathize with people experiencing something he has never gone through. You're not going to "get through" to him because that's not how his brain works. He saw "I have no job" and figured that this must be the main topic of the thread conversation because he doesn't understand depression.
So basically we need to put him though A Prince and the Pauper scenario? Sounds good to me!
The problem is, from what I've seen, that Scott fundamentally lacks the kind of personality that can feel low self confidence. It's like describing getting hit in the balls to a girl; they can understand the words, but they lack the ability to fundamentally understand it on a visceral level.
(Meanwhile, every guy reading this post just flinched a bit, myself included)
What is up with the hating on me? I'm not one of those people who thinks people with actual depression can just get over it. Like I said, I just clicked on all the threads. Someone posted about not being able to find a job, so I said how to get a job. Just happened to be the depression thread, now you are all hating on me. If I was a depressed person, which I thankfully am not, you wouldn't be helping.
The problem is, from what I've seen, that Scott fundamentally lacks the kind of personality that can feel low self confidence. It's like describing getting hit in the balls to a girl; they can understand the words, but they lack the ability to fundamentally understand it on a visceral level.
(Meanwhile, every guy reading this post just flinched a bit, myself included)
It's like feeling like you have to throw up, while someone is strangling you.
What is up with the hating on me? I'm not one of those people who thinks people with actual depression can just get over it. Like I said, I just clicked on all the threads. Someone posted about not being able to find a job, so I said how to get a job. Just happened to be the depression thread, now you are all hating on me. If I was a depressed person, which I thankfully am not, you wouldn't be helping.
woah woah, what? You care what other people think of you?
What is up with the hating on me? I'm not one of those people who thinks people with actual depression can just get over it. Like I said, I just clicked on all the threads. Someone posted about not being able to find a job, so I said how to get a job. Just happened to be the depression thread, now you are all hating on me. If I was a depressed person, which I thankfully am not, you wouldn't be helping.
We're not trying to hate, man, you're just trying to help in a highly ineffective way. People were trying to fill you in on what you might not be familiar with, but it took a bit of a left turn. It's not unappreciated, it's just also not terribly helpful.
Scott's job searching advice may seem callous, but it is solid advice and was obviously kindly meant.
Back on the subject at hand, my warning to all is this: Be careful with self-diagnosing any mental/emotional disorders. I certainly understand the plight of those that can't afford/aren't insured for counseling or therapy, so they may seek to diagnose and "treat" the problem on their own. However, these are very specific conditions that can be confused by a layman. A person may experience symptoms of depression, but have a a different medical disorder with its own specific treatments (be it counseling, behavior modification, medication, diet, etc.). I speak from personal experience; I thought I was struggling with "depression" when in actuality I had a thyroid disorder and cyclothymia (a mild bipolar disorder). Thankfully there are free/cheap resources to at least get some professional input and figure out what the precise issue/disorder/etc. might be. Keep in mind that just because you have symptoms of depression, you may not be clinically depression or - more importantly - your clinical depression may be a symptom of another medical issue.
On a side note, I may change my graduate studies and go for something in the psychology/counseling field. I am having trouble making up my mind, but my deadline is January 1st. Wish me luck. ^_^
Last night I drank half a bottle of rum, among other things. I threw up on my bed, and my friends took me to the ER, but I was fine, so one of my mates took me back home and made sure I got to bed alright. The entire room reeks of vomit. I have a cut on my right palm, and my left ribs are sore. Dunno why.
I do not have this shit under control.
Why the fuck am I so far away from the people who made this manageable? I'm not sure why I ever made this decision in the first place.
That goes for anyone else, as well if you want to talk about depression. Believe me - I am the KING of depression, anxiety, loneliness, melancholy, and all that stuff. We can Skype, or GoogleChat, or talk on the regular phone, whatever. Over the years, I have developed loads of strategies for dealing with depression. Some of them are stale for me, but might help you. Also, I'm nothing if not a good listener. If you can count on me for anything, you can count on me to be patient and not say you "just need to snap out of it" because I know from long, long term experience what it feels like.
Actually - this might sound like a crazy idea, but would anyone like to do an informal GeekChat type thing where, instead of just GeekChat, we had kind of a discussion group about depression and depression help/related issues? It could be kind of like group therapy without some idiot doctor charging us $$$$ to sit on metal chairs in a beige room drinking crappy coffee and without any arbitrary time limits.
Actually - this might sound like a crazy idea, but would anyone like to do an informal GeekChat type thing where, instead of just GeekChat, we had kind of a discussion group about depression and depression help/related issues? It could be kind of like group therapy without some idiot doctor charging us $$$$ to sit on metal chairs in a beige room drinking crappy coffee and without any arbitrary time limits.
Honestly, as someone who is with a manic-depressive person, I can't help but get like this sometimes. I understand the science of depression (I've gone through it myself), and I am always here to help, but it requires a lot of patience. Sometimes, I reach the point where I can't help but tell them to "just calm down" when they act out in a destructive manner. It doesn't mean that I don't empathize or understand.
You shouldn't always berate the people who have said those things, especially if they've been there to help you countless times before. Perhaps they do understand, but living with a depressive person can be quite taxing at times.
Still, I'm not going to leave, and will always be there in times of need.
_______________________________
Also, I think regularly scheduled GeekChats would be very helpful. You guys could set up a regular time to meet up and discuss your issues. You don't even have to talk about depression! Make it a regular GeekChat and talk about positive topics like games and art creation.
It may give you guys something to look forward to when you reach those low points, and will provide a support group to keep in touch with constantly.
That's certainly a good place to begin, and socialization is a critical part of managing depression. However, professional help is still a very good idea when you're struggling with these issues.
That just sounds like college to me... OK, admittedly not my college experience, but some of my friends.
I could say don't drink so much, but you're still young and haven't quite figured it out yet. If you're gonna drink, drink beer, you don't get in as much trouble that way.
That just sounds like college to me... OK, admittedly not my college experience, but some of my friends.
I could say don't drink so much, but you're still young and haven't quite figured it out yet. If you're gonna drink, drink beer, you don't get in as much trouble that way.
Yeah, definitely switching to beer. I don't want to have to be told that I was in an ambulance ever again.
Looks like my own condition has been rearing its ugly head again, as of late. I don't feel entirely like myself. I wish it didn't feel like it's always going to be such a long haul.
Yeah, I'm alright. I'm staying in bed today, and then cleaning the room. It'll be okay, pretty sure I'm just cycling.
How long have you been on the exchange? Once you hit the 4-6 month range, you will probably start to feel a bit shit about things. Not even just culture shock, it's more the change of scene, a shock to the system. Even I got a little blue the first time I lived abroad, but it went away in a month or so. Also, yeah, drinking is probably not helping.
Actually - this might sound like a crazy idea, but would anyone like to do an informal GeekChat type thing where, instead of just GeekChat, we had kind of a discussion group about depression and depression help/related issues? It could be kind of like group therapy without some idiot doctor charging us $$$$ to sit on metal chairs in a beige room drinking crappy coffee and without any arbitrary time limits.
Yeah, I'm alright. I'm staying in bed today, and then cleaning the room. It'll be okay, pretty sure I'm just cycling.
How long have you been on the exchange? Once you hit the 4-6 month range, you will probably start to feel a bit shit about things. Not even just culture shock, it's more the change of scene, a shock to the system. Even I got a little blue the first time I lived abroad, but it went away in a month or so. Also, yeah, drinking is probably not helping.
About three months now. Just beginning to miss people back home. As for the drinking, yeah. That was almost definitely triggered by my depression, not the other way around. I'm not drinking anything alcoholic for at least two weeks.
On the plus side, that was almost definitely the low point of that particular depressive phase. Knowing how my moods have been working lately, that means I'm about to rebound to euphoric good moods with little need for sleep and a huge amount of creative energy. Fun.
Comments
(Meanwhile, every guy reading this post just flinched a bit, myself included)
I berate thee, Scott.
Back on the subject at hand, my warning to all is this:
Be careful with self-diagnosing any mental/emotional disorders. I certainly understand the plight of those that can't afford/aren't insured for counseling or therapy, so they may seek to diagnose and "treat" the problem on their own. However, these are very specific conditions that can be confused by a layman. A person may experience symptoms of depression, but have a a different medical disorder with its own specific treatments (be it counseling, behavior modification, medication, diet, etc.).
I speak from personal experience; I thought I was struggling with "depression" when in actuality I had a thyroid disorder and cyclothymia (a mild bipolar disorder).
Thankfully there are free/cheap resources to at least get some professional input and figure out what the precise issue/disorder/etc. might be.
Keep in mind that just because you have symptoms of depression, you may not be clinically depression or - more importantly - your clinical depression may be a symptom of another medical issue.
On a side note, I may change my graduate studies and go for something in the psychology/counseling field. I am having trouble making up my mind, but my deadline is January 1st. Wish me luck. ^_^
Last night I drank half a bottle of rum, among other things. I threw up on my bed, and my friends took me to the ER, but I was fine, so one of my mates took me back home and made sure I got to bed alright. The entire room reeks of vomit. I have a cut on my right palm, and my left ribs are sore. Dunno why.
I do not have this shit under control.
Why the fuck am I so far away from the people who made this manageable? I'm not sure why I ever made this decision in the first place.
That goes for anyone else, as well if you want to talk about depression. Believe me - I am the KING of depression, anxiety, loneliness, melancholy, and all that stuff. We can Skype, or GoogleChat, or talk on the regular phone, whatever. Over the years, I have developed loads of strategies for dealing with depression. Some of them are stale for me, but might help you. Also, I'm nothing if not a good listener. If you can count on me for anything, you can count on me to be patient and not say you "just need to snap out of it" because I know from long, long term experience what it feels like.
Actually - this might sound like a crazy idea, but would anyone like to do an informal GeekChat type thing where, instead of just GeekChat, we had kind of a discussion group about depression and depression help/related issues? It could be kind of like group therapy without some idiot doctor charging us $$$$ to sit on metal chairs in a beige room drinking crappy coffee and without any arbitrary time limits.
You shouldn't always berate the people who have said those things, especially if they've been there to help you countless times before. Perhaps they do understand, but living with a depressive person can be quite taxing at times.
Still, I'm not going to leave, and will always be there in times of need.
_______________________________
Also, I think regularly scheduled GeekChats would be very helpful. You guys could set up a regular time to meet up and discuss your issues. You don't even have to talk about depression! Make it a regular GeekChat and talk about positive topics like games and art creation.
It may give you guys something to look forward to when you reach those low points, and will provide a support group to keep in touch with constantly.
Also, WuB, I would lay off the sauce.
I could say don't drink so much, but you're still young and haven't quite figured it out yet. If you're gonna drink, drink beer, you don't get in as much trouble that way.
Also, yeah, drinking is probably not helping.
On the plus side, that was almost definitely the low point of that particular depressive phase. Knowing how my moods have been working lately, that means I'm about to rebound to euphoric good moods with little need for sleep and a huge amount of creative energy. Fun.