I often find myself breaking life down into a series of good events followed by bad events ad infinitum. It can get really depressing, but the other side of that coin is that every bad event is an omen of good things to come.
Not exactly depression, and certainly nothing clinical, but lately I think I've been developing a bad case of anxiety.
It started socially. At first I thought it was just the usual hormonal "I'm scared to talk to girls" thing, but then I noticed that it applied to everyone. I've been scared shitless to talk to anyone outside of my circle of five our six friends. It's not because people are hostile to me. Buy and large, people are nothing but pleasant to me. I'll almost always have something they find interesting to say, even if it's hidden behind a bunch of bullshit they don't care about, they still appreciate it.
Now there's a whole new set of admins that don't know me who are telling me to freak out about college. I'm not sure that it's worth it anymore. I can't tell if there are any schools I would like that would accept me. My GPA is in the shitter and I don't think my SAT scores are going to be as astronomical as my neuro-psychologist had promised. It's probably because I go to an exam school, so I'm surrounded by over-achievers and am presented with schools for overachievers (for example, I despise Harvard, and something like %140 of BLS students apply there), but I'm starting to think that college is not both a good idea and feasible for me.
Anyway, none of this is concrete, I just wanted to get it off my chest and see if any of you had advice you were willing to share.
I was joking about that Buddhism article, but Buddhism itself is no joke. There's plenty of supernatural stuff and woo-woo associated with it, but appraoched from a rational angle Buddhism is essentially psychotherapy with more poetry. Look into how Bhuddists pursue inner peace through the Eightfold Path and you will find practices which can work wonders for anxiety.
I was joking about that Buddhism article, but Buddhism itself is no joke. There's plenty of supernatural stuff and woo-woo associated with it, but appraoched from a rational angle Buddhism is essentially psychotherapy with more poetry. Look into how Bhuddists pursue inner peace through the Eightfold Path and you will find practices which can work wonders for anxiety.
I know. My dad's Buddhist. I'm familiar with the Eightfold Path. It's very good, but not for me.
I was joking about that Buddhism article, but Buddhism itself is no joke. There's plenty of supernatural stuff and woo-woo associated with it, but appraoched from a rational angle Buddhism is essentially psychotherapy with more poetry. Look into how Bhuddists pursue inner peace through the Eightfold Path and you will find practices which can work wonders for anxiety.
Freaking out about anything is generally bad, and you shouldn't freak out about college - and moreover, keep in mind that there's nothing really worth freaking out about there. If you want to go to college, there will be some accredited college that will accept you, even if it's not Harvard or Yale or one of the other "top-tier" schools. There is an enormous number of colleges in the United States, and chances are you can find one you'll like that will take you. The big state schools are actually fairly good bets - most of the well-known ones (Michigan, Illinois, Penn State, OSU (please don't go to OSU), USC...) have a number of very good programs and accept a lot of students, especially out-of-staters who will give them money.
Don't give up on going to college just because "oh, you're not going to get into one." If you don't think college is worth it, that's ultimately your decision, but I am going to very strongly recommend higher education because it will 1) let you meet a lot of interesting people with new perspectives, 2) get you away from home, and 3) give you a more gradual (and relatively safe) introduction to "real life" where you can deal with outstanding issues without too much trouble.
Just apply to Michigan. Do it for me? (Really, do it for yourself, but it will make me happy)
It's the establishment for me. My dad converted when I was about eight, so while he didn't try to push it onto me, he told me a lot about it from a very young age. It's conventional wisdom for me, and right now I am very strongly against conventional wisdom. Later in life, maybe I'll try it again and find help in it, but right now I need at least the pretense of dissent.
Freaking out about anything is generally bad, and you shouldn't freak out about college - and moreover, keep in mind that there's nothing really worth freaking out about there. If you want to go to college, there will be some accredited college that will accept you, even if it's not Harvard or Yale or one of the other "top-tier" schools.
I don't want a "top-tier" school. In my experience, those are filled with bourgeois assholes with no understanding of life out academia and Tom Lehrer. Save for MIT, of course, but they're special.
There is an enormous number of colleges in the United States, and chances are you can find one you'll like that will take you. The big state schools are actually fairly good bets - most of the well-known ones (Michigan, Illinois, Penn State, OSU (please don't go to OSU), USC...) have a number of very good programs and accept a lot of students, especially out-of-staters who will give them money.
Don't give up on going to college just because "oh, you're not going to get into one." If you don't think college is worth it, that's ultimately your decision, but I am going to very strongly recommend higher education because it will 1) let you meet a lot of interesting people with new perspectives, 2) get you away from home, and 3) give you a more gradual (and relatively safe) introduction to "real life" where you can deal with outstanding issues without too much trouble.
Just apply to Michigan. Do it for me? (Really, do it for yourself, but it will make me happy)
I'm not saying I won't, I'm just saying I'm questioning it. Part of it is that I'm afraid that learning how the world works in theory will give me very impractical and unrealistic beliefs. Jennifer is in grad school right now, and she has nothing but horror stories regarding that in particular. I'm at least going to take a year off or something, as a way of taking "Intro to Cold Harsh Reality."
I do still have 7 weeks left in the BLS "college search" course, so I'm sure that will help me a lot. But right now, I'm afraid of the prospect of four years of academic bullshit.
Grad school is a whole different ballgame, for the record. Don't let those horror stories scare you (unless you're going to grad school). If you're looking for a soft intro to college, take some transfer electives at a community college. It's cheap, it'll get your GPA up, and it'll give you an idea of what higher eduction is all about.
I honestly, with my whole heart, recommend taking at least a year in Community College. In Massachusetts (for once, I can give advice without having to qualify it with "this may be different where you are"!) you can take what's called the "transfer block". Two years, fairly easy, good slow intro to college, and you get priority transfers in to any state university.
That said, I kinda recomend against a year off. Speaking from my own experience, and the experience of a few other people my age, "one year" becomes "two years", then "three years"... etc. Taking a year off, it's very easy to get sidetracked by life.
The stuff that caused me to say that said being said, college is painfully easy, both in terms of entry and in terms of getting grades. I did little but screw around playing video games in high school, and I got in to BSU and pretty much made dean's list with basically no trouble. If you're super worried about your GPA not being good enough, the best plan is to do what I say in the first paragraph: take a year or two at a community college taking basic classes.
High School and College are such different beasts that there's no real comparison. People who excel in college tend to be those who did "only OK" or worse in high school.
(Sorry if this is a bit disogranized and rambly; I just woke up)
I don't want a "top-tier" school. In my experience, those are filled with bourgeois assholes with no understanding of life out academia and Tom Lehrer. Save for MIT, of course, but they're special.
Going into the college search with preconceived notions like the one above is the thing I would advise against more than anything else.
I don't want a "top-tier" school. In my experience, those are filled with bourgeois assholes with no understanding of life out academia and Tom Lehrer. Save for MIT, of course, but they're special.
Don't knock them until you at least visit them. I attended a "top-tier" school (Brown), and found it was nothing at all like that. Then again, Brown does have the rep of being the hippie of top-tier schools.
I think a better statement might be that, for a lot of geeks, college is much easier than one might expect.
Depends on the college, the major, your background, etc.
I had really poor study habits going into college, but I didn't need good study habits for high school. However, I got my ass thoroughly kicked in college because of the habits and nearly failed out until I got my head screwed on straight. However, I took a couple classes at a local college (a regular 4-year one, not a community college) during my time off getting my head screwed on straight and found them vastly easier than the classes I was taking at my regular college. So YMMV here.
I don't want a "top-tier" school. In my experience, those are filled with bourgeois assholes with no understanding of life out academia and Tom Lehrer. Save for MIT, of course, but they're special.
Going into the college search with preconceived notions like the one above is the thing I would advise against more than anything else.
I'm not speaking from stereotypes and second-hand anecdotes, I'm speaking from interacting with actual Harvard students. I meet plenty of alumni that are cool, but students and professors almost always piss me off.
EDIT: Forgot to mention that I know this is probably unfair to the rest of the "top-tier" schools, but too bad for them, they're either bourgeoisie, on scholarships, or stupid enough to go to a college they can't afford.
It's cheap, it'll get your GPA up, and it'll give you an idea of what higher eduction is all about.
I expected college to be much more serious than it was. I went to a midwest state school that's now in the SEC. I actually failed out later, not earlier, because I could not find fucks to give anymore. Too easy isn't always a good thing.
The point above about actually getting to know a school is pretty important. The one thing that trumps that is getting to know yourself and what you want.
I don't want a "top-tier" school. In my experience, those are filled with bourgeois assholes with no understanding of life out academia and Tom Lehrer. Save for MIT, of course, but they're special.
Going into the college search with preconceived notions like the one above is the thing I would advise against more than anything else.
I'm not speaking from stereotypes and second-hand anecdotes, I'm speaking from interacting with actual Harvard students. I meet plenty of alumni that are cool, but students and professors almost always piss me off.
I've asked some people how to make more friends (going back to that social anxiety thing), and they always respond with answers that seem to assume that I know how to talk to people. So now I ask a slightly different question: how do I get to know people/make small talk?
I try to ask a lot of questions. When people ask me questions, I try to give them answers they don't expect. If they only give me answers I expect, I usually stop talking to them.
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It started socially. At first I thought it was just the usual hormonal "I'm scared to talk to girls" thing, but then I noticed that it applied to everyone. I've been scared shitless to talk to anyone outside of my circle of five our six friends. It's not because people are hostile to me. Buy and large, people are nothing but pleasant to me. I'll almost always have something they find interesting to say, even if it's hidden behind a bunch of bullshit they don't care about, they still appreciate it.
Now there's a whole new set of admins that don't know me who are telling me to freak out about college. I'm not sure that it's worth it anymore. I can't tell if there are any schools I would like that would accept me. My GPA is in the shitter and I don't think my SAT scores are going to be as astronomical as my neuro-psychologist had promised. It's probably because I go to an exam school, so I'm surrounded by over-achievers and am presented with schools for overachievers (for example, I despise Harvard, and something like %140 of BLS students apply there), but I'm starting to think that college is not both a good idea and feasible for me.
Anyway, none of this is concrete, I just wanted to get it off my chest and see if any of you had advice you were willing to share.
The big state schools are actually fairly good bets - most of the well-known ones (Michigan, Illinois, Penn State, OSU (please don't go to OSU), USC...) have a number of very good programs and accept a lot of students, especially out-of-staters who will give them money.
Don't give up on going to college just because "oh, you're not going to get into one." If you don't think college is worth it, that's ultimately your decision, but I am going to very strongly recommend higher education because it will 1) let you meet a lot of interesting people with new perspectives, 2) get you away from home, and 3) give you a more gradual (and relatively safe) introduction to "real life" where you can deal with outstanding issues without too much trouble.
Just apply to Michigan. Do it for me? (Really, do it for yourself, but it will make me happy)
I do still have 7 weeks left in the BLS "college search" course, so I'm sure that will help me a lot. But right now, I'm afraid of the prospect of four years of academic bullshit.
That said, I kinda recomend against a year off. Speaking from my own experience, and the experience of a few other people my age, "one year" becomes "two years", then "three years"... etc. Taking a year off, it's very easy to get sidetracked by life.
The stuff that caused me to say that said being said, college is painfully easy, both in terms of entry and in terms of getting grades. I did little but screw around playing video games in high school, and I got in to BSU and pretty much made dean's list with basically no trouble. If you're super worried about your GPA not being good enough, the best plan is to do what I say in the first paragraph: take a year or two at a community college taking basic classes.
High School and College are such different beasts that there's no real comparison. People who excel in college tend to be those who did "only OK" or worse in high school.
(Sorry if this is a bit disogranized and rambly; I just woke up)
I had really poor study habits going into college, but I didn't need good study habits for high school. However, I got my ass thoroughly kicked in college because of the habits and nearly failed out until I got my head screwed on straight. However, I took a couple classes at a local college (a regular 4-year one, not a community college) during my time off getting my head screwed on straight and found them vastly easier than the classes I was taking at my regular college. So YMMV here.
EDIT: Forgot to mention that I know this is probably unfair to the rest of the "top-tier" schools, but too bad for them, they're either bourgeoisie, on scholarships, or stupid enough to go to a college they can't afford. It won't get my GPA up because: Believe me, we've looked into it.
The point above about actually getting to know a school is pretty important. The one thing that trumps that is getting to know yourself and what you want.
There’s A Hole In Your Bucket, Dear Lover, Dear Lover
Wait, does that not help this analogy?