I've asked some people how to make more friends (going back to that social anxiety thing), and they always respond with answers that seem to assume that I know how to talk to people. So now I ask a slightly different question: how do I get to know people/make small talk?
Usually, people really respond to being listend to. If you find a good pace of asking questions and listening to the answers, you'll go a long way. The pace is the tricky bit, since its different contextually. Remember that questions not always have to be about them, noone like to be interrogated by strangers. Stuff like, have you seen this movie - what is your opinion on it, and then listening to the answer is often the kit that makes friends.
Also, often its easier for people when they feel that there is common ground, wich is why a lot of friends meet in clubs or around hobbies. Wich also keeps some of the awkwardness at bay. (Like, what would all the skateboarders do if they had to talk all that time they spent pissing about on their boards together, and then when they talk they talk about that. wich gives buffer time to become comfortable.)
Kinda. It makes enough sense for me to try it instead of be a neurotic mess.
The thing I'm still confused by: when/where am I supposed to talk to people and are there restrictions on who I should talk to? As a nerd, a Greg, and a person so socially dysfunctional they were diagnosed with Aspberger's for two years in elementary school, I've never understood such conventions.
Generally anywhere at any time. Avoid obvious danger signs (inebriation, obvious anger, etc.) and use common sense, but generally, if someone is wearing some sort of Geek Cred item that I recognize, I start by mentioning that, unless there's a social convention against talking where I am (class, movie theater, library, aforementioned danger signs).
I don't worry about people thinking about suicide. I've been thinking about how to kill myself since I was eight. For me, it's always been more of a puzzle than actual desire for suicide.
Trust me kid, that's not my motivation. When I think about suicide it's because I can't cope with whatever awful thing has been going in my head and I want to die so I can get some peace and quiet. If somebody says they want to kill themselves you should probably worry about them.
So I've really come to recognize that I do have ADHD, because the symptoms with my lack of focus, depression, and lack of energy have really hit at an all time high. My house is a mess and my school life has been as stressful as possible. Mostly from driving to school three times a day and my hardest class has a lot of reading and BS Grading, plus a shitty, flippant teacher. I know that this isn't my worst semester, but it generally feels like it.
So in order to get medication and to speed up the process, I think I'll have to go to the Disability Services Section on Campus to get a chance of a diagnosis and medication to hopefully help me out. I really think I do need some of it, because I'm either most efficient when I'm tipsy or if I've been awake for 12+ hours when I finally feel energized/focused enough to do work. But...going to that building and getting the screening is something I generally fear. Mostly because I feel like, this is it, I'm labeling myself as inferior. I have a complex where I really won't ask important questions, because I'm afraid of people really looking at me as stupid. But I know I have to tackle it.
If I could ask any of you for advice, how do you get the drive to go to a doctor, admit your illness, and potentially get medication? (I'll be put through the ringer, I know several students who pop Adderalls to get a studying boost) It gives me that fear that on a technical scale, like all my papers will be labeled as "this person takes psychological meds" which is just going to make things harder.
I feel it, and I want to tackle it but I have that looming fear that admitting into a physician will make things worse.
Your papers won't be labeled as anything that they aren't already -- unless you're going to some weird police state sort of school, your professors aren't even supposed to have access to that information. Privacy laws make it so that such information is restricted to a select set of administrators. Last year I told my teachers the parts of my depression they needed to know, because the school couldn't legally do so on my behalf wtihout me doing paperwork that would've been more time consuming than just telling them.
You also shouldn't worry too much about being ineligable for medication due to who you associate with. I was hanging out with my school's resident hard drug dealers when I was put on Prozac. "Know[ing] several students who pop Adderalls to get a studying boost" is not going to be a problem.
And don't view this as "admitting you're inferior." You're brimming with so much awesome, your brain doesn't know what to do with it. The meds are just awesome limiters, so that your brain and society as a whole can handle the ammount of awesome you are. I know that doesn't make much sense and might be a little egotistical, but it's better on both accounts than whatever backwards logic your depression is using instead.
"Inferior" and "out of control" are two different things. Most people don't stay on psychoactive medication their whole lives. I don't plan on being on anti-depressants forever, anyway. It's just a tool to get your brain straight while you learn how to use it.
It's not depression, but I've been struggling lately to not Hulk out on people who waste my time or through ignorance cause me more work. It's hard not to be irritable when people sandpaper you all day. The anger is just always there, waiting to be tapped.
Today was my first day taking Lexapro for general anxiety disorder. I noticed some light-headedness shortly after taking it but I hope that will clear up after taking it for a few days.
Today was my first day taking Lexapro for general anxiety disorder. I noticed some light-headedness shortly after taking it but I hope that will clear up after taking it for a few days.
In my experience, you'll have what I call "styrofoam brain" for a couple weeks; it feels like all your senses are muted and you'll probably feel vaguely stoned and euphoric. This is normal, as your body is adjusting to your new neurochemical baseline. I also have some morning nausea, but that diminishes the longer you're on the drug. These effects can surge back if you accidentally discontinue, so set an alarm on your phone.
I really hope it works for you. Lexapro changed my life and improved it 100-fold. Keep us posted! Also, feel free to ask me questions about the drug and its effects. I've done a huge amount of independent research and wrote down some of my experiences so that I better understand escitalopram and what it does.
I struggled with the idea of inferiority for a while, but being not-depressed is nice! So it became easier to shrug off those notions. Reading scientific literature on the actual nature of these brain quirks also helped. Anyone who thinks there is a normal from which to judge others is fooling themselves.
That happened to me once, but they were friends of the same friend, and one of them he met in a psych ward. Can't say I was surprised, but it does remind you of the true spontaneity and chaos of our own personal lives.
You're telling me. One was a friend of an internet friend but it always sucks when something like that happens either way. The other one is what really got to me, because she had just seen him last night.
I get the feeling that about half of my numerously diagnosed phsychological issues come from lack of food, sleep, and sex. Could've seen that one coming.
Biochemistry, bro. If fucked up shit's going on in your head, and you want to stop it, you just gotta find out which chemicals you need and what stimulates those processes.
This is true, but I know people who know that much about biochem, and they've explained to me the shit I need to know for my issues. Surely you've got someone or something similar.
I finally took the "leap" and agreed to my parents request to get on meds for my depression. I'm super scared about what it can do to me as I've seen people turn into zombies on those kind of drugs. >_<
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Also, often its easier for people when they feel that there is common ground, wich is why a lot of friends meet in clubs or around hobbies. Wich also keeps some of the awkwardness at bay. (Like, what would all the skateboarders do if they had to talk all that time they spent pissing about on their boards together, and then when they talk they talk about that. wich gives buffer time to become comfortable.)
Did that make any sense at all?
The thing I'm still confused by: when/where am I supposed to talk to people and are there restrictions on who I should talk to? As a nerd, a Greg, and a person so socially dysfunctional they were diagnosed with Aspberger's for two years in elementary school, I've never understood such conventions.
Start somewhere safe, and expand from that. Would probably be my safest bet. Personally Ive always found schools to be a pretty hostile environment.
If you are in to games, maybe try a games club. Or if you are in to music, the indie music store/thingie.
So in order to get medication and to speed up the process, I think I'll have to go to the Disability Services Section on Campus to get a chance of a diagnosis and medication to hopefully help me out. I really think I do need some of it, because I'm either most efficient when I'm tipsy or if I've been awake for 12+ hours when I finally feel energized/focused enough to do work. But...going to that building and getting the screening is something I generally fear. Mostly because I feel like, this is it, I'm labeling myself as inferior. I have a complex where I really won't ask important questions, because I'm afraid of people really looking at me as stupid. But I know I have to tackle it.
If I could ask any of you for advice, how do you get the drive to go to a doctor, admit your illness, and potentially get medication? (I'll be put through the ringer, I know several students who pop Adderalls to get a studying boost) It gives me that fear that on a technical scale, like all my papers will be labeled as "this person takes psychological meds" which is just going to make things harder.
I feel it, and I want to tackle it but I have that looming fear that admitting into a physician will make things worse.
You also shouldn't worry too much about being ineligable for medication due to who you associate with. I was hanging out with my school's resident hard drug dealers when I was put on Prozac. "Know[ing] several students who pop Adderalls to get a studying boost" is not going to be a problem.
And don't view this as "admitting you're inferior." You're brimming with so much awesome, your brain doesn't know what to do with it. The meds are just awesome limiters, so that your brain and society as a whole can handle the ammount of awesome you are. I know that doesn't make much sense and might be a little egotistical, but it's better on both accounts than whatever backwards logic your depression is using instead.
I really hope it works for you. Lexapro changed my life and improved it 100-fold. Keep us posted! Also, feel free to ask me questions about the drug and its effects. I've done a huge amount of independent research and wrote down some of my experiences so that I better understand escitalopram and what it does.
Heartburn leads to throat issues. Throat issues lead to hate. Hate leads to suffering.
But for reals, anxiety problems can make you tense up and have weird effects. You should maybe talk to a psychiatrist if you have good insurance.
Also, a friend of mine accidentally discontinued and has the blues again. I took a picture of myself with Lexapro on my tongue to cheer her up:
Stay treated, bros.
My dad swears by them but I'm still uneasy...