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Dating

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  • Well its not as bad as it sounds. Shes more just really open than anything else. I know her really well and I know shes not a slut, but I'm more worried it would just be weird.
    Do it, or at least try to do it. It may increase your confidence, or crush your ego. I don't know you well enough to make a call.
    What can I say? Penises aren't pretty, but they're strangely appealing. I have doubts as to whether or not a lesbian relationship would quell my particular frustrations.
    Niiiiice.

  • edited November 2011
    I am having dinner with someone I like next week. She insisted on waiting till she had some cash and could pay her own way, so I don't know if it's a date, or if we're both just testing the waters, or if she just explicitly does not want it to be a date.
    I'd say she's testing the waters. When it's the third outing then you can start asking.

    Good on you.
    Post edited by Ametto on
  • Well its not as bad as it sounds. Shes more just really open than anything else. I know her really well and I know shes not a slut, but I'm more worried it would just be weird.
    Do it, or at least try to do it. It may increase your confidence, or crush your ego. I don't know you well enough to make a call.
    I would add a recommendation for losing one's V-card to someone experienced - things are the most problematic when neither of you know what you're doing.

  • I would add a recommendation for losing one's V-card to someone experienced - things are the most problematic when neither of you know what you're doing.
    Yuuuuup.
  • edited November 2011
    I am having dinner with someone I like next week. She insisted on waiting till she had some cash and could pay her own way, so I don't know if it's a date, or if we're both just testing the waters, or if she just explicitly does not want it to be a date.
    I'd say she's testing the waters. When it's the third outing then you can start asking.
    Just because she's paying her own way doesn't mean it's not a date. If you think you'll make things awkward by asking beforehand whether it's a date (and you won't), ask her whether she would like to have dinner again at the end of the evening. If she immediately responds yes, it was probably a date.

    Post edited by Linkigi(Link-ee-jee) on
  • edited November 2011
    I am having dinner with someone I like next week. She insisted on waiting till she had some cash and could pay her own way, so I don't know if it's a date, or if we're both just testing the waters, or if she just explicitly does not want it to be a date.
    I'd say she's testing the waters. When it's the third outing then you can start asking.
    Just because she's paying her own way doesn't mean it's not a date. If you think you'll make things awkward by asking beforehand whether it's a date (and you won't), ask her whether she would like to have dinner again at the end of the evening. If she immediately responds yes, it was probably a date.

    I agree her paying her own way doesn't mean it's not a date. Because it's windupbird, I felt it be probably be better for him to ask later down the line so that he won't feel pressured.
    Post edited by Ametto on
  • I am having dinner with someone I like next week. She insisted on waiting till she had some cash and could pay her own way, so I don't know if it's a date, or if we're both just testing the waters, or if she just explicitly does not want it to be a date.
    I'd say she's testing the waters. When it's the third outing then you can start asking.
    Just because she's paying her own way doesn't mean it's not a date. If you think you'll make things awkward by asking beforehand whether it's a date (and you won't), ask her whether she would like to have dinner again at the end of the evening. If she immediately responds yes, it was probably a date.

    I agree her paying her own way doesn't mean it's not a date. Because it's windupbird, I felt it be probably be better for him to ask later down the line so that he won't feel pressured.
    WindUpBird: Hardcore repping self-esteem issues on the FRCF since 2008. :P

  • Of the little that I know you, you come off shy. I made a recommendation off that knowledge.
  • Of the little that I know you, you come off shy. I made a recommendation off that knowledge.
    Both a good recommendation and a wise observation.

  • So I just found out I'm actually at the "best friend's with benefits" stage, slightly disappointed, but still, better than being single.
  • The best part of being a bio student is that you know it's never your heart. That'd be silly; the heart doesn't process complex emotions and deal with hormonal shifts! The brain handles all of that.

    ...The worst part of being a bio student is that knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less.
  • So I just found out I'm actually at the "best friend's with benefits" stage, slightly disappointed, but still, better than being single.
    I had no idea that was a stage. How did you find out?
  • So I just found out I'm actually at the "best friend's with benefits" stage, slightly disappointed, but still, better than being single.
    I had no idea that was a stage. How did you find out?
    Told her I loved her... so we had a little talk; loving her was fine, just don't fall in love with her; she loves me too, but is not in love with me, and she doesn't want me to get hurt and regret loving her...

    A little bit confusing, but I think I get it. Still new to this poly thing.

    I'm actually flattered to be considered one of her best friends, she is that cool to me.
  • Just got dumped about two weeks ago. First time being single in two and a half years. Being on the rebound isn't as exciting as I expected - not nearly as many shocking confessions of desire or bus trips to the frozen tundras of Canada to reconnect with old friends from high school/battles with my nega-self. Maybe it's because my girlfriend took every single female friend with her in the great social life schism. So it goes...

    I might be going to my friend's girlfriend's birthday party next week. She's very determined to set me up with someone. She was also very quick to mention there'd be lots of "her friends from therapy" there. Something tells me this won't end well...
  • Wait, I don't get it. Is this some American semantics thing? What's the difference between 'loving someone' and 'being in love with someone'?
  • edited November 2011
    I think he means romantic vs. "platonic" love. Sounds like she "loves" him as a friend rather than "loves" him like a boyfriend.
    Post edited by Sail on
  • And that is why in Spanish we do not use the word "amar" so often as it is used in English.
    Is kind of interesting, for example:
    I love coffee would translate "me gusta el cafe" instead of "Yo amo el cafe". Seriously we rarely use that word, "amar" is a extremely strong word in Spanish.
  • edited November 2011
    And that is why in Spanish we do not use the word "amar" so often as it is used in English.
    Is kind of interesting, for example:
    I love coffee would translate "me gusta el cafe" instead of "Yo amo el cafe". Seriously we rarely use that word, "amar" is a extremely strong word in Spanish.
    I'm pretty sure that goes for nearly every non-English language. Dutch, for example, as well.
    Post edited by Bronzdragon on
  • edited November 2011
    And that is why in Spanish we do not use the word "amar" so often as it is used in English.
    Is kind of interesting, for example:
    I love coffee would translate "me gusta el cafe" instead of "Yo amo el cafe". Seriously we rarely use that word, "amar" is a extremely strong word in Spanish.
    Also "te quiero," "te deseo," etc. Spanish is well-equipped to deal with distinct forms of love (platonic, fillial, romantic, erotic, etc). That's why I tried to make "lurve" from Annie Hall happen a while back, but it didn't catch on.

    Post edited by WindUpBird on
  • And that is why in Spanish we do not use the word "amar" so often as it is used in English.
    Is kind of interesting, for example:
    I love coffee would translate "me gusta el cafe" instead of "Yo amo el cafe". Seriously we rarely use that word, "amar" is a extremely strong word in Spanish.
    Also "te quiero," "te desiero," etc. Spanish is well-equipped to deal with distinct forms of love (platonic, fillial, romantic, erotic, etc). That's why I tried to make "lurve" from Annie Hall happen a while back, but it didn't catch on.

    Well, "te deseo" has more of a sexually romantic desire in it. While "te amo" is a mixture of sex, passion, soul, and self, that is why is so dangerous :O
  • And that is why in Spanish we do not use the word "amar" so often as it is used in English.
    Is kind of interesting, for example:
    I love coffee would translate "me gusta el cafe" instead of "Yo amo el cafe". Seriously we rarely use that word, "amar" is a extremely strong word in Spanish.
    Totalmente cierto.

    My experience with love has been extremely limited and overall, atrocious. Ten years of unrequited love have turned me into a nonbeliever.
  • And that is why in Spanish we do not use the word "amar" so often as it is used in English.
    Is kind of interesting, for example:
    I love coffee would translate "me gusta el cafe" instead of "Yo amo el cafe". Seriously we rarely use that word, "amar" is a extremely strong word in Spanish.
    Also "te quiero," "te deseo," etc. Spanish is well-equipped to deal with distinct forms of love (platonic, fillial, romantic, erotic, etc). That's why I tried to make "lurve" from Annie Hall happen a while back, but it didn't catch on.

    Well, "te deseo" has more of a sexually romantic desire in it. While "te amo" is a mixture of sex, passion, soul, and self, that is why is so dangerous :O
    Yeah, I don't think I've ever had cause to use "te amo." Just never occurred to me. And I've never needed to use "te deseo" (foreveralone.jpg), which is why I made that typo and had to edit that post.

  • I think he means romantic vs. "platonic" love. Sounds like she "loves" him as a friend rather than "loves" him like a boyfriend.
    This.
  • Met a nice girl on Okcupid and we've been chatting on AIM for two weeks now and recently through text messages. Thinking about asking her out soon. Hoping I won't be so awkward when I try.
  • Met a nice girl on Okcupid and we've been chatting on AIM for two weeks now and recently through text messages. Thinking about asking her out soon. Hoping I won't be so awkward when I try.
    If she's on OKCupid, she's probably expecting to be asked out, so it probably won't be awkward. Just say "I'd like to take you to dinner/a movie/etc."

    Went over to the girl I mentioned above's apartment to hang out this evening - we made out. A lot. Suffice it to say, I'm incredibly happy with my life right now.

  • This is how it begins, my friend. Soon you will be spending nights, waking up, and laying next to each other going on your laptops.

    Totally not what I'm doing right now or anything.
  • Jesus, I didn't read this thread for like 4 days and it is filled with some of the best comments ever.....

    Not exactly dating advice but a pretty funny observation in my life. Since I've been married for the last two months, I've started talking to a lot of single girls again and have suddenly been inserted into an old role that i used to play as the comfortable non-threatening male who will listen about relationship problems and exploits and give advice. It's kinda funny that I've gone full circle, I guess for a while I was too dangerous :-p
  • It's kinda funny that I've gone full circle, I guess for a while I was too dangerous :-p
    MD ScoJo?

  • It's kinda funny that I've gone full circle, I guess for a while I was too dangerous :-p
    MD ScoJo?
    ScoJo 13.
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