Honestly, in a lot of cases for LDR's i think it's better to just keep the flirty friendship going until you are in a position to get closer. Then try it out as a LDR for a short time, if things look good then move closer. My wife and I would not have lasted if we were in a LDR with no ability to move eventually. When we did enter a relationship it was at a point where both of us were free of obligations that would have prevented either of us from making a bigger move.
I'm in an LDR right now, and I can't say it's suffering, in fact, it's going just fine. The difference is, we're somewhat open, and honest with each other about it. We talk as often as we can, use what time we have, and we're both ready(and on my end, presently working) on getting to the same location to take the D out of LDR - something I also think helps, we're not just waiting and sitting on the situation, we're both moving to change it, even if most of the moving is on my end, but that's simply a function of where in the plan we are right now.
We have our problems, and we have problems other couples don't have because of the distance and our respective lives...but we do alright. So it goes, and it goes on as so, for now. Things will change, in time.
I wish you the best of luck so you don't end up in the same rut as me.
It's not likely, ma'am. Suffice it to say, her and I are...quite peculiar sorts of people. We don't tend to fall into ruts, and the ruts we do carve for ourselves are rather different to the ones carved by - though I hesitate to use the term, but I must for lack of a better one - rather more normal people than us.
I do thank you for your well wishes, though, Sei troppo gentile.
Hrm. Last night, after waking up furious and half-asleep at about 4 AM, I got on Facebook, called her "completely fucking vile", and then blocked her. I barely remember doing that. I guess trying to sleep off the rage before I said anything wasn't the most effective plan.
I'm in an LDR right now, and I can't say it's suffering, in fact, it's going just fine. The difference is, we're somewhat open, and honest with each other about it. We talk as often as we can, use what time we have, and we're both ready(and on my end, presently working) on getting to the same location to take the D out of LDR - something I also think helps, we're not just waiting and sitting on the situation, we're both moving to change it, even if most of the moving is on my end, but that's simply a function of where in the plan we are right now.
We have our problems, and we have problems other couples don't have because of the distance and our respective lives...but we do alright. So it goes, and it goes on as so, for now. Things will change, in time.
This, except my ladyfriend is the one working on moving (to New York, hopefully).
Also, coincidentally, I originally learned of "bro-code" as "the unwritten rules of the moral code of mateship," from an Australian film.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Brilliant! I'm pretty sure I know the guy that wrote it - John Birmnigham - in a secondhand, professional sense, but I can't confirm it without chatting up a few workmates on the topic. I can tell you for sure, however, that I lived in the same house on Duke Street, for a while, but obviously well after Birmingham lived there. I've also lived in the same area as the Auchenflower house(about two minutes walk down the road), and a mate of mine lived in the Goth house, I went there a few times. Anything he's written, I recommend it strongly.
Hrm. Last night, after waking up furious and half-asleep at about 4 AM, I got on Facebook, called her "completely fucking vile", and then blocked her. I barely remember doing that. I guess trying to sleep off the rage before I said anything wasn't the most effective plan.
Your actions are perfectly valid and logical. Given what you've told us thus far, its extremely likely she was using your friend as a tool to hurt you.
That doesn't make make what he did alright though; he was obviously complicit in said action. He's brosona non grata now, and if you don't lay some hurt on him when you see him next you are definitely a much better human being than I.
Hrm. Last night, after waking up furious and half-asleep at about 4 AM, I got on Facebook, called her "completely fucking vile", and then blocked her. I barely remember doing that. I guess trying to sleep off the rage before I said anything wasn't the most effective plan.
Your actions are perfectly valid and logical. Given what you've told us thus far, its extremely likely she was using your friend as a tool to hurt you.
That doesn't make make what he did alright though; he was obviously complicit in said action. He's brosona non grata now, and if you don't lay some hurt on him when you see him next you are definitely a much better human being than I.
The man's still a person. We had a long conversation after he told me what happened, and while I want to hurt him, I'm not just going to kick his ass out of nowhere. I've been teaching him some martial arts, though, so I will be offering him an honest-to-god crash course in TKD competition sparring. He'll know what's coming, and if he's the friend I think he is he'll be up for it.
As for the girl, she ended the relationship feeling like I had rejected her and didn't love her enough, while I meant the world to her. I slipped up a few times, and there were a few days where I was really unsure about my feelings for her. She latched onto those moments and quickly forgot everything else I did for her; for a long time she couldn't even bring herself to believe that anyone loved her. Knowing that she has self-esteem issues that severe, it's just as likely that she slept with my friend because she desperately wanted somebody to make her feel wanted and worthwhile in the fallout of our relationship. That doesn't make me feel fantastic.
It's probably not much comfort, but there's not a whole hell of a lot you can do in a situation like that. What you've posted so far points to someone with massive insecurity and trust issues. It becomes an irrational self-defeating cycle, where they won't allow themselves to believe what you say or even trust their own feelings, because they want to feel defeated. It's ugly, terrifying, and well beyond the abilities of another to control.
I'm writing a new song. I have no music as yet, but I have the first verse and chorus. I've got some thoughts about the direction I'll take the second verse, but would love some ideas from the forum.
It's called: Don't Put Your Dick In The Crazy Girl
There's a big difference between women and men, when guys look for girls, and girls look for guys. I'll give some advice to the girls now and then But boys, now's the time, I'll make you more wise.
When you find a hot girl, who's quirky, and cool. And your stars align in the zodiac Here's my advice, and you might think I'm a fool, But make sure she not a nymphomaniac.
A sex crazed girlfriend sounds pretty great, And theoretically that might be so. But practically it's not, and let me set you straight, When she's not fucking you, she has others on the go.
So, Don't put your dick in the crazy girl Don't put your dick in the crazy girl From experience I speak In bed she's a freak But your relationship is doomed If you're away for just a week. Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Hey Luke, you say, You take this the wrong way, I don't want her as a girlfriend I just want an easy lay.
Still, Don't put your dick in the crazy girl Don't put your dick in the crazy girl She has no inhibitions And she knows all the positions But she's on first name terms with the STD clinicians. Don't put your dick in the crazy girl.
So I've been seeing this girl for a little more than a month and we chat on AIM/text messages everyday. What are the rules for christmas? I know something she wants but have been told it might be too expensive. ($30 - $40)
So I've been seeing this girl for a little more than a month and we chat on AIM/text messages everyday. What are the rules for christmas? I know something she wants but have been told it might be too expensive. ($30 - $40)
I wouldn't gift yet. A simple Merry Christmas would do. maybe a card at most.
So I've been seeing this girl for a little more than a month and we chat on AIM/text messages everyday. What are the rules for christmas? I know something she wants but have been told it might be too expensive. ($30 - $40)
Comments
I've lived it not only first-hand, but seen how my mother suffered through that too.
We have our problems, and we have problems other couples don't have because of the distance and our respective lives...but we do alright. So it goes, and it goes on as so, for now. Things will change, in time.
I do thank you for your well wishes, though, Sei troppo gentile.
Also, coincidentally, I originally learned of "bro-code" as "the unwritten rules of the moral code of mateship," from an Australian film.
EDIT - Here's his blog.
That doesn't make make what he did alright though; he was obviously complicit in said action. He's brosona non grata now, and if you don't lay some hurt on him when you see him next you are definitely a much better human being than I.
As for the girl, she ended the relationship feeling like I had rejected her and didn't love her enough, while I meant the world to her. I slipped up a few times, and there were a few days where I was really unsure about my feelings for her. She latched onto those moments and quickly forgot everything else I did for her; for a long time she couldn't even bring herself to believe that anyone loved her. Knowing that she has self-esteem issues that severe, it's just as likely that she slept with my friend because she desperately wanted somebody to make her feel wanted and worthwhile in the fallout of our relationship. That doesn't make me feel fantastic.
It's called:
Don't Put Your Dick In The Crazy Girl
There's a big difference between women and men,
when guys look for girls, and girls look for guys.
I'll give some advice to the girls now and then
But boys, now's the time, I'll make you more wise.
When you find a hot girl, who's quirky, and cool.
And your stars align in the zodiac
Here's my advice, and you might think I'm a fool,
But make sure she not a nymphomaniac.
A sex crazed girlfriend sounds pretty great,
And theoretically that might be so.
But practically it's not, and let me set you straight,
When she's not fucking you, she has others on the go.
So,
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
From experience I speak
In bed she's a freak
But your relationship is doomed
If you're away for just a week.
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Hey Luke, you say,
You take this the wrong way,
I don't want her as a girlfriend
I just want an easy lay.
Still,
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
She has no inhibitions
And she knows all the positions
But she's on first name terms
with the STD clinicians.
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl.
Awwww, I love christmas....
*clueless*