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  • Well, thats what I should expect from the internet. *listens on repeat*
  • I finished writing my song, and I'm looking forward to performing it on Sunday. I changed the name from "Don't put your dick in the crazy girl!" to something a friend of mine said when he read the lyrics of the first verse and chorus. He said "Make sure it doesn't come off as bitterly autobiographical." I thought I'd make it even more bitterly autobiographical than before.

    Bitterly Autobiographical

    There's a big difference between women and men,
    when guys look for girls, and girls look for guys.
    I'll give some advice to the girls now and then
    But boys, let me take this time to make you more wise.

    When you find a hot girl, who's quirky, and cool.
    And your stars align in the zodiac
    Here's my advice, and you might think I'm a fool,
    But make sure she not a nymphomaniac.

    A sex crazed girlfriend sounds pretty great,
    In theory maybe, but in practice no.
    Cos if leave town for more than two days straight:
    When she's not fucking you, she has others on the go.

    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl

    Now maybe you will say,
    I have this the wrong way,
    You don't want her as a girlfriend
    You just want an easy lay.

    Still
    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl

    She has no inhibitions
    And she knows all the positions
    But she's on first name terms
    with the STD clinicians.

    So
    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl.



    Let me address one point before you complain
    I don't want to come across as misogynistic
    Being totally utterly fucked up in the brain
    That's not an exclusively female characteristic

    I've just I've never been at home alone with a guy
    Who's threatening to kill himself with a knife
    Saying "If you don't have sex with me, I want to die"
    A man might say or do that, but not so far in my life.

    But there was this one girl, who was totally mad
    And I wish that somebody had told the younger me,
    "Luke, here's some advice, it's the best you've ever had,
    As soon as you suspect that she's not thinking clearly...

    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl

    She might be good at fucking
    At licking and at sucking
    But soon you'll get the practice in
    at dodging and at ducking.

    So
    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl

    You think "I've nothing to fear!"
    But you see this scar right here?
    Lock away your knives and make
    your scissors disappear.

    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl




    This might sound overly dramatic
    But soon you'll be locking yourself away safely in your attic
    Avoid a life that's so traumatic
    Traumatic
    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl


    There's a much better girl out there for you,
    Luke,
    don't you see,
    it's obvious

    The attributes of a perfect girlfriend
    doesn't include crazy
    So watch out for the signs
    on this short list

    If she sits you down, and tells you that you're dumped,
    and then says No I'm only joking,
    I just wanted to see how you'd react.
    She's crazy
    break up with her right now

    If her default form of communication
    when things aren't going well in your relationship
    is attempted suicide.
    She's crazy
    break up with her right now


    It's not your job to help a crazy girl,
    Leave that to a shrink, cos there's nothing you can do
    She'll just leave you scarred, both inside and out
    And leave you fucked up for around about a year.
    Or two.
    Or three.

    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
    Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
  • edited December 2011
    Somebody improvised me a song on her ukulele last night, asking me out in the process.

    Insomniac by kces17

    How can I say no to that?
    Post edited by Walker on
  • Don't you even think about saying no. She can sing well.
  • If someone did that for me, I would absolutely melt. You need to date this girl.
  • You need to date this girl.
    Like, right now. Why are you even on the Internet? Are you doing anything that is not setting up a date? Because if you are, stop whatever you're doing.

    That was a really cute song.

  • edited December 2011
    She got up at 6:30 this morning to help me out at the farmer's market because I haven't been feeling well. It went wonderfully.
    Post edited by Walker on
  • I refuse to listen to the song because I feel like I'd be invading someone's privacy, though I'm not sure whose.

    But she made a song for you so date her I guess!
  • edited December 2011
    She got up at 6:30 this morning to help me out at the farmer's market because I haven't been feeling well. It went wonderfully.
    If someone did that for me, I would absolutely melt. You need to date this girl.
    QFT. This one's a keeper.
    Post edited by Victor Frost on
  • Do it! GO!
  • Daaaaaaaaaawwwwwww
  • edited December 2011
    Daaaaaaaaaawwwwwww
    Post edited by George Patches on
  • "If it's too good to be true..."

    She just wants to cure your insomnia so she can stab you while you slumber.
  • Moral of last night: Girl will like you better than dbag if you're totally not interested. Girl will make out with you once dbag leaves. Girl will suddenly become uninterested once you show a shred of interest and walk her to the subway.
  • edited December 2011
    Moral of last night: Girl will like you better than dbag if you're totally not interested. Girl will make out with you once dbag leaves. Girl will suddenly become uninterested once you show a shred of interest and walk her to the subway.
    In summation: bitch(es) be crazy.

    Post edited by TheWhaleShark on
  • I thought I'd give a quick update on my current relationship. Juliane and I got together six and a half months ago, and things are going really well. Having a girlfriend who lives in the same city as me is waaaaay less stressful than anything even slightly long distance. We spend a lot of time hanging out together. I like her singing, and she likes my songs. She's even slowly learning to juggle. The sex started out just okay, as she didn't have a lot of experience, but it's improved massively over time and is now consistently the best ever. I mean the level is consistently higher than any other long term relationship of mine. We've yet to have any kind of argument or even a disagreement. We traveled together in September and had a lot of fun, and plan to go on a big trip to East Africa in March. I'm spending some of Christmas with her parents, and in the new year we are going on a 9 day trip around the UK, visiting most of my family too.

    Things are looking good!

    Which is why I feel comfortable writing a song with the lyrics I posted above. Strange how life works out.
  • Indeed. And you sir, are a lucky dude.
  • Most of what Luke said is pretty much how Katie and I are, also six months in. One big difference though is that Katie is moving into my new place along with me. In normal circumstances we wouldn't have moved in together so soon, but her current living situation is bad enough that she pretty much lives at my place anyway. This just formalizes it.
  • Just got back from seeing The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo with Ukulele Girl. 'Twas lovely, as expected. :3
  • His awesome what?
  • Are you expecting perfect grammar from a puppy?
  • His awesome what?
  • His awesome what?
    Depends on who you're asking. ;D
  • Sex with your bro's ex soon after break-up can fall under the "solidarity" exception if said sex is used to exact revenge for your friend. However, for this exception to be used the bro must kick the ex out after his satisfaction but before hers. Bro must also call other bro immediately afterwards and relate the details of her humiliation.
  • edited December 2011
    That's fucked up. No.
    Post edited by gomidog on
  • Sex with your bro's ex soon after break-up can fall under the "solidarity" exception if said sex is used to exact revenge for your friend. However, for this exception to be used the bro must kick the ex out after his satisfaction but before hers. Bro must also call other bro immediately afterwards and relate the details of her humiliation.
    What the hell?
  • It's all part of the code. This exception is rarely used.
  • Uh, no?
    Article 150. No sex with your bro's ex. It is never, EVER permissible for a bro to sleep with his bro's ex. Violating this code is worse than killing a bro.
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