I finished writing my song, and I'm looking forward to performing it on Sunday. I changed the name from "Don't put your dick in the crazy girl!" to something a friend of mine said when he read the lyrics of the first verse and chorus. He said "Make sure it doesn't come off as bitterly autobiographical." I thought I'd make it even more bitterly autobiographical than before.
Bitterly Autobiographical
There's a big difference between women and men, when guys look for girls, and girls look for guys. I'll give some advice to the girls now and then But boys, let me take this time to make you more wise.
When you find a hot girl, who's quirky, and cool. And your stars align in the zodiac Here's my advice, and you might think I'm a fool, But make sure she not a nymphomaniac.
A sex crazed girlfriend sounds pretty great, In theory maybe, but in practice no. Cos if leave town for more than two days straight: When she's not fucking you, she has others on the go.
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl Don't put your dick in the crazy girl Don't put your dick in the crazy girl Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Now maybe you will say, I have this the wrong way, You don't want her as a girlfriend You just want an easy lay.
Still Don't put your dick in the crazy girl Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
She has no inhibitions And she knows all the positions But she's on first name terms with the STD clinicians.
So Don't put your dick in the crazy girl.
Let me address one point before you complain I don't want to come across as misogynistic Being totally utterly fucked up in the brain That's not an exclusively female characteristic
I've just I've never been at home alone with a guy Who's threatening to kill himself with a knife Saying "If you don't have sex with me, I want to die" A man might say or do that, but not so far in my life.
But there was this one girl, who was totally mad And I wish that somebody had told the younger me, "Luke, here's some advice, it's the best you've ever had, As soon as you suspect that she's not thinking clearly...
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
She might be good at fucking At licking and at sucking But soon you'll get the practice in at dodging and at ducking.
So Don't put your dick in the crazy girl Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
You think "I've nothing to fear!" But you see this scar right here? Lock away your knives and make your scissors disappear.
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
This might sound overly dramatic But soon you'll be locking yourself away safely in your attic Avoid a life that's so traumatic Traumatic Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
There's a much better girl out there for you, Luke, don't you see, it's obvious
The attributes of a perfect girlfriend doesn't include crazy So watch out for the signs on this short list
If she sits you down, and tells you that you're dumped, and then says No I'm only joking, I just wanted to see how you'd react. She's crazy break up with her right now
If her default form of communication when things aren't going well in your relationship is attempted suicide. She's crazy break up with her right now
It's not your job to help a crazy girl, Leave that to a shrink, cos there's nothing you can do She'll just leave you scarred, both inside and out And leave you fucked up for around about a year. Or two. Or three.
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Like, right now. Why are you even on the Internet? Are you doing anything that is not setting up a date? Because if you are, stop whatever you're doing.
Moral of last night: Girl will like you better than dbag if you're totally not interested. Girl will make out with you once dbag leaves. Girl will suddenly become uninterested once you show a shred of interest and walk her to the subway.
Moral of last night: Girl will like you better than dbag if you're totally not interested. Girl will make out with you once dbag leaves. Girl will suddenly become uninterested once you show a shred of interest and walk her to the subway.
I thought I'd give a quick update on my current relationship. Juliane and I got together six and a half months ago, and things are going really well. Having a girlfriend who lives in the same city as me is waaaaay less stressful than anything even slightly long distance. We spend a lot of time hanging out together. I like her singing, and she likes my songs. She's even slowly learning to juggle. The sex started out just okay, as she didn't have a lot of experience, but it's improved massively over time and is now consistently the best ever. I mean the level is consistently higher than any other long term relationship of mine. We've yet to have any kind of argument or even a disagreement. We traveled together in September and had a lot of fun, and plan to go on a big trip to East Africa in March. I'm spending some of Christmas with her parents, and in the new year we are going on a 9 day trip around the UK, visiting most of my family too.
Things are looking good!
Which is why I feel comfortable writing a song with the lyrics I posted above. Strange how life works out.
Most of what Luke said is pretty much how Katie and I are, also six months in. One big difference though is that Katie is moving into my new place along with me. In normal circumstances we wouldn't have moved in together so soon, but her current living situation is bad enough that she pretty much lives at my place anyway. This just formalizes it.
Sex with your bro's ex soon after break-up can fall under the "solidarity" exception if said sex is used to exact revenge for your friend. However, for this exception to be used the bro must kick the ex out after his satisfaction but before hers. Bro must also call other bro immediately afterwards and relate the details of her humiliation.
Sex with your bro's ex soon after break-up can fall under the "solidarity" exception if said sex is used to exact revenge for your friend. However, for this exception to be used the bro must kick the ex out after his satisfaction but before hers. Bro must also call other bro immediately afterwards and relate the details of her humiliation.
Article 150. No sex with your bro's ex. It is never, EVER permissible for a bro to sleep with his bro's ex. Violating this code is worse than killing a bro.
Comments
Bitterly Autobiographical
There's a big difference between women and men,
when guys look for girls, and girls look for guys.
I'll give some advice to the girls now and then
But boys, let me take this time to make you more wise.
When you find a hot girl, who's quirky, and cool.
And your stars align in the zodiac
Here's my advice, and you might think I'm a fool,
But make sure she not a nymphomaniac.
A sex crazed girlfriend sounds pretty great,
In theory maybe, but in practice no.
Cos if leave town for more than two days straight:
When she's not fucking you, she has others on the go.
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Now maybe you will say,
I have this the wrong way,
You don't want her as a girlfriend
You just want an easy lay.
Still
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
She has no inhibitions
And she knows all the positions
But she's on first name terms
with the STD clinicians.
So
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl.
Let me address one point before you complain
I don't want to come across as misogynistic
Being totally utterly fucked up in the brain
That's not an exclusively female characteristic
I've just I've never been at home alone with a guy
Who's threatening to kill himself with a knife
Saying "If you don't have sex with me, I want to die"
A man might say or do that, but not so far in my life.
But there was this one girl, who was totally mad
And I wish that somebody had told the younger me,
"Luke, here's some advice, it's the best you've ever had,
As soon as you suspect that she's not thinking clearly...
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
She might be good at fucking
At licking and at sucking
But soon you'll get the practice in
at dodging and at ducking.
So
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
You think "I've nothing to fear!"
But you see this scar right here?
Lock away your knives and make
your scissors disappear.
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
This might sound overly dramatic
But soon you'll be locking yourself away safely in your attic
Avoid a life that's so traumatic
Traumatic
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
There's a much better girl out there for you,
Luke,
don't you see,
it's obvious
The attributes of a perfect girlfriend
doesn't include crazy
So watch out for the signs
on this short list
If she sits you down, and tells you that you're dumped,
and then says No I'm only joking,
I just wanted to see how you'd react.
She's crazy
break up with her right now
If her default form of communication
when things aren't going well in your relationship
is attempted suicide.
She's crazy
break up with her right now
It's not your job to help a crazy girl,
Leave that to a shrink, cos there's nothing you can do
She'll just leave you scarred, both inside and out
And leave you fucked up for around about a year.
Or two.
Or three.
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Don't put your dick in the crazy girl
Insomniac by kces17
How can I say no to that?
That was a really cute song.
But she made a song for you so date her I guess!
She just wants to cure your insomnia so she can stab you while you slumber.
Things are looking good!
Which is why I feel comfortable writing a song with the lyrics I posted above. Strange how life works out.