Great if it's real, but I'll give one advice. Meet her for the first time in a very public place with many people around. That is the way to stay safe meeting any Internet stranger for the first time.
The first time I met someone from the internet, they were in my house and I was 15 years old.
I died that day.
DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU. By following the three basic rules of Internet Person safety, you can have a safe and enjoyable experience meeting a person from the internet. Just remember:
1) Make sure a family member or friend knows who phone will be. 2) Check for closings before going to the pool. 3) If the person you meet is a girl, you are in danger; she is an impostor pretending to be from the internet. Alert the police immediately.
Okay, I'm going to lay out a scenario for you all. Imagine there is this movie. As you watch it for the first time, you love every minute of it. But at the end, the character you loved the most dies. The end. Now imagine you're watching that movie for a second time. You still love every minute of it, but it's tainted. In the back of your mind, as your favorite scenes pass by, there is this constant thought, "He's gonna die. He's gonna die."
The experience of the second viewing describes my current relationship perfectly. My girlfriend (for a few months now) is leaving to go home to Japan in two weeks. Tonight, we had a wonderful date. Dinner at a great cafe with great food, then we went to see Arrietty. Not a moment of stagnant conversation or awkward pauses; the conversation flowed perfectly, with laughter and stories from both of us the whole way through.
But whenever I looked at her, really look at her, that terrible voice from deep down inside of me came calling, "She's leaving in two weeks. She's leaving in two weeks."
I hate this. I hate this more than anything else in the world.
And the problem is I knew that this was how it was going to end from the very beginning. I knew and I invested anyway. What is wrong with me...
Don't be so dramatic. It's not like she is going to Mars or anything. How long is she going to be gone? I left for 6 months to go to Japan when I was in college, and when I came back, I was still super close to Rym. You should support her and see if she will talk to you on Skype.
Don't be so dramatic. It's not like she is going to Mars or anything. How long is she going to be gone? I left for 6 months to go to Japan when I was in college, and when I came back, I was still super close to Rym. You should support her and see if she will talk to you on Skype.
Well I read she's leaving to go home, as in Japanese national. I'm with Sonic, this does look bleak. Sorry dude.
While it's not exactly a romance, Omnom and I maintain a pretty close mateship across the seas, the breakfast club have never met in person but we're all great mates, and I've maintained a long-term relationship at what is usually a long distance for quite a while now. While I'm not giving an advisory on your situation, I'm reminding you that there are options and possibilities.
@Sonic, it is really hard to go through that man. My best friend did the same thing with a Japanese exchange student a few years ago, where they had to break up when she went home. It took him a while to accept that it was over, but he doesn't regret it at all, and I'm sure you won't either.
Also, they do have international flights. It's not like you can't go visit if you save you money and she is cool with the idea. Also, if she was an exchange student who is to say that she won't come back to the states, or you won't go over there? I mean, it doesn't sound serious enough to move to another country over her, but you can totally keep up the friendship and who knows, maybe it will all work out. Or maybe you will maintain a good online friendship, but find another partner. There are a ton of scenarios.
Ah, shit, you'll have to forgive my post. I was more than slightly intoxicated and feeling equally emo.
But yes, Emily, it's as you say. It isn't serious enough to move over there and we can try to maintain an online friendship. And, while she has said several times that I can visit her in Japan, the actual possibility of me going there is pretty slim. Not for lack of want, mind you, but from lack of ability. Financially, it would be irresponsible to go even to PAX, much less Japan because (without going into too many details) my family is in a bad way right now.
Professionally, though, I'm confident I'll see her again. We're both CTVA majors trying to make our way into broadcast. She wants to direct programs for the NHK, and I want to be a voice talent (radio or voice over), so maybe I can be one of the announcers for all those "Travel to hot springs" type shows on NHK World. That'll be a few years from now, so the relationship will likely be a friendship by then, but still.
In any case, we have fun times together, so I am going to maximize on that while she's here and let the future take whatever path it does. Sorry for my half-drunk emo-ness.
I mean, I guess it does suck, and I do feel bad for you. Luckily, you live in an era where, while physical distance does provide a barrier in relationships, it is far from insurmountable. Be friends, a good boyfriend who gave her a good exchange student experience, and it will be okay. In any case, don't stress about it, enjoy the time you have together. Even if it is just "ichigo ichie," you'll have good memories.
Just did my now weekly ritual that is find some one to message on OKCupid. This is really rough on my introverted nature and never getting a reply makes me depressed. So far this whole thing is not making me any less jaded about dating, but you can't say I'm not trying.
I had an interesting, somewhat-reaffirming talk with my online girlfriend over our distance since I had a talk with an older friend, about if I would have regrets being devoted to her and not telling others about her. I've only told three people in real life about her and even with my online friends, I was sketchy about mentioning it to her. With my college and small town crowds, I feared I would get insulting for being devoted to an online relationship on a really high emotional level.
She said some really positive and interesting remarks when I discussed it all with her. She was happy that I didn't get flack over telling more people about our relationship, but she noted two, really concerning statements during the whole thing.
1. She said if I wanted to pursue happiness with someone here...that I could. And that she would support me, even though I would be sad.
While it was quite powerful, I kind of admitted to her "If I wanted to pursue happiness with someone, it would only be with you."
2. When I asked, if she would take the risk to come to here or if I were to go there. (There being Greece, pretty significant gap) and we were to become intimate, she said she would be "definitely willing to try" this kind of action.
So on one half it's hopeful, but on another sense it's kind of letting me go. It came down to a lot of mixed messages. She also established some interesting rules of "Don't mention how perverted I am. ^^;" and "Take it easy with the praise, I'm very shy and get embarrassed so easily." when it comes to openly talking about her.
Like, the love is very open and I would honestly pursue her to a level of going to Greece. I don't necessarily fear her rejection (Though, it'd suck) but I think what's held me back in the most part is how I thought other people would react. The love is definitely there with how we talk nearly every day, send fantastic presents, and have so many of the same interests, but when I think about the physical aspect of driving this relationship, I get a little concerned.
Let me just say that what works about relationships is different for everyone. One of my best friends from high school has been dating a guy from New York since they met on Myspace(which should give you an idea of how long they've been together). She is a very busy person, what with getting her physics degree and maintaining a job that she is using to be able to pay for school. They only see eachother a few times a year, but I think the arrangement works for her possibly for that exact reason. My point is that, while other people might not understand it, what works for you works for you. It doesn't make it wrong or shameful. Just do what makes you genuinely happy.
That is awesome and funny. Make me laugh and you are 1/3 of the way there! Of course, only gamers will get the joke. But it's a decent screening mechanism. Only problem is there are probably lots of girls that are potential gamers who just haven't been introduced to awesome board games yet.
Recent, slightly less drug-addled update: Her neck was fully dislocated because she was tossing and turning in her sleep, which put pressure on some tendon or other that had been through surgery before. It hurt so much that her mother described the first night as "like The Exorcist" (vomit everywhere). The doctors say that she was an inch of tissue away from being internally decapitated. I'm not entirely clear on whether or not the fever is directly related, but either way she's terribly sick, on a morphine drip, and eating turkey through a straw.
Comments
1) Make sure a family member or friend knows who phone will be.
2) Check for closings before going to the pool.
3) If the person you meet is a girl, you are in danger; she is an impostor pretending to be from the internet. Alert the police immediately.
Or maybe you will maintain a good online friendship, but find another partner. There are a ton of scenarios.
But yes, Emily, it's as you say. It isn't serious enough to move over there and we can try to maintain an online friendship. And, while she has said several times that I can visit her in Japan, the actual possibility of me going there is pretty slim. Not for lack of want, mind you, but from lack of ability. Financially, it would be irresponsible to go even to PAX, much less Japan because (without going into too many details) my family is in a bad way right now.
Professionally, though, I'm confident I'll see her again. We're both CTVA majors trying to make our way into broadcast. She wants to direct programs for the NHK, and I want to be a voice talent (radio or voice over), so maybe I can be one of the announcers for all those "Travel to hot springs" type shows on NHK World. That'll be a few years from now, so the relationship will likely be a friendship by then, but still.
In any case, we have fun times together, so I am going to maximize on that while she's here and let the future take whatever path it does. Sorry for my half-drunk emo-ness.
In any case, don't stress about it, enjoy the time you have together. Even if it is just "ichigo ichie," you'll have good memories.
She said some really positive and interesting remarks when I discussed it all with her. She was happy that I didn't get flack over telling more people about our relationship, but she noted two, really concerning statements during the whole thing.
1. She said if I wanted to pursue happiness with someone here...that I could. And that she would support me, even though I would be sad.
While it was quite powerful, I kind of admitted to her "If I wanted to pursue happiness with someone, it would only be with you."
2. When I asked, if she would take the risk to come to here or if I were to go there. (There being Greece, pretty significant gap) and we were to become intimate, she said she would be "definitely willing to try" this kind of action.
So on one half it's hopeful, but on another sense it's kind of letting me go. It came down to a lot of mixed messages. She also established some interesting rules of "Don't mention how perverted I am. ^^;" and "Take it easy with the praise, I'm very shy and get embarrassed so easily." when it comes to openly talking about her.
Like, the love is very open and I would honestly pursue her to a level of going to Greece. I don't necessarily fear her rejection (Though, it'd suck) but I think what's held me back in the most part is how I thought other people would react. The love is definitely there with how we talk nearly every day, send fantastic presents, and have so many of the same interests, but when I think about the physical aspect of driving this relationship, I get a little concerned.
"If she hasn't heard of this one German board game, she's DEAD to me!"
Might just be spam.
Now I just need to avoid thinking ahead.
or
Kidding, you'll be fine. Just don't over think it.
What if she's super eco-conscious and hates cars completely? And kicks puppies... or something...
This is a pretty high-risk situation, George.
(I love you guys for joining in on the fun. Sorry, George.)