Dude. I didn't even know you could toss and turn so hard you almost died. That's rough; keep us updated if you don't mind. We'll be sending good thoughts your way.
Does she have meningitis relating to the injury of the spinal tissue? That's terrible! I hope she pulls through!
Vomiting episode, agonizing neck pain, and fever makes it a dead ringer for spinal meningitis, but you usually only see connective-tissue based SM in lupus patients if I understand what I've read correctly. Still seems like that's what's happening.
Hang tight, man. Best wishes for a quick recovery. It sounds like they got her to the hospital in the nick of time.
Does she have meningitis relating to the injury of the spinal tissue? That's terrible! I hope she pulls through!
Vomiting episode, agonizing neck pain, and fever makes it a dead ringer for spinal meningitis, but you usually only see connective-tissue based SM in lupus patients if I understand what I've read correctly.
My best friend just broke up with her boyfriend, someone I also considered a best friend but who decided to cheat on her. You know how people point to a relationship and say, "That's how I know love works?" Their relationship was (or I suppose, seemed like) one of those circumstances, and now it's over.
I woke up to Moebius's death and my faith in relationships shaken to the core. Also, my screenplay is now worthless. Fuck.
For some people any relationship is a means to an end. They may or may not be aware of it. For other people, "being in a relationship" is the end unto itself. And I would say I fall into the third category, people that "just happen to be in a relationship" but are not necessarily trying to get anything out of it one way or another. It's just happenstance. And any of them can seem like the other kinds to various people at various different times, partners can have disparate intentions, and things can change over time.
I spend a whole lot of time asking myself "why I do thing" and "why I like to do thing" which is both an incredible advantage and disadvantage. I'm overwhelmingly in-your-face honest about my intentions in all things.
Anyway, your "faith" in relationships doesn't have to be so broken, I think it just needs to be more fluid. It's not a thing that lends itself credibly to science, logic, and skepticism (yet at least). Maybe they were in the kind of relationship you imagined for a time, or at least they both thought they were, and things changed.
Eh. He accused her of being the reason he cheated and isn't accepting that his actions aren't okay despite three years of them being mostly perfect. My faith in relationships isn't broken, merely shaken, as I said. For someone I trusted and considered a good friend to turn coat on another friend and be so startlingly immature about the whole thing is just more than a little bit heartbreaking.
I am not sure if this falls here but here it goes anyways. A friend of mine from a previous job got her driver's license taken away because she was driving with an expired license in Virginia. Her license was taken away according to her until she pays her fine in the DMV and she also has a court date in about 2 months, this happened while she was a designated driver of a friend that previously got in trouble due a DUI. She was a nice person during my time at my previous job and sometimes I try to catch up and we google chat ( That is how I learned about her recent happening). Since her work is close to mine and she lives in the way to mine, I send her a message that if something happens after her court date and her license is suspended that I would be more than glad to help her out. She told me that she would definitely contact me if something like that happens. She was suppose to get her license on Friday but today she told me that she was not able to. However, she got to work ok. I didn't ask how but she told me that she was at work. I now this is crazy but I feel a little bit bad that she didn't ask me for my help ( She lives in Fairfax,VA and works in Gaithersburg,MD ). I do want to help her but she told me that she will tell me later what happened. Should I clarify to her that I only want to help her because she is a friend. Do you guys think she might think that I am interested in her?
If you're worried she is pulling away from you because she is afraid you like her, don't be. She probably just got help from a convenient place (like carpooling with a coworker) and didn't need to ask. Or maybe she hooked up and got a ride from a sweet piece of tail she spent the night with. But seriously, don't sweat it. If you look like you are panicking and trying to undo some kind of damage, you'll come across as not only interested, but desperate and clingy as well.
Just did my now weekly ritual that is find some one to message on OKCupid. This is really rough on my introverted nature and never getting a reply makes me depressed. So far this whole thing is not making me any less jaded about dating, but you can't say I'm not trying.
Focus on making your profile one that will get you messages rather than the other way around.
You're into cars! There are girls who are also into cars!
Just did my now weekly ritual that is find some one to message on OKCupid. This is really rough on my introverted nature and never getting a reply makes me depressed. So far this whole thing is not making me any less jaded about dating, but you can't say I'm not trying.
Focus on making your profile one that will get you messages rather than the other way around.
You're into cars! There are girls who are also into cars!
Fact. Ric Ocasek is married to one of the most beautiful women on earth for just this reason!
Girls account for roughly 50% of the population, so all the people who whine about there being no single women need to realize that either there are a ton of polygamists, or they are just mistaken.
There are totally car girls! My sister is one (although she has been more into motorcycles lately.) She is cuter than me, super smart, played Half Life and NS, and turned down graduating early so she could spend most of her senior year taking automotive-tech at the local trade school. She's been dating the same guy since she was 14, so this does apply to you, but I'm just saying, I know first hand what it is like to live with a total car geek.
Girls account for roughly 50% of the population, so all the people who whine about there being no single women need to realize that either there are a ton of polygamists, or they are just mistaken.
This is true if you account for all of the people on earth that there is someone out there. But it is not true once you start to narrow down the pool of people using reasonable criteria.
There are indeed some, perhaps many, people that are extremely picky. You know the kind of people that only want to date a supermodel who will sweep them off their feet in some sort of unrealistic television romance scenario. Those people obviously have a problem. Not only are they crazy, but they are looking for a person that does not exist, and never has existed.
I'm saying that even if you just limit yourself realistically, the odds are high that a person for you might not exist. Let's just list some realistic limitations that a reasonable non-picky person might use to filter potential suitors.
Is single. Speaks a language that you also speak. Lives in the same general geographic area. Is roughly the same age. Is of the desired gender and sexual orientation. Doesn't have wildly opposed religious or political views. Isn't crazy or already filled with some major drama. Doesn't smoke. Isn't a drug addict. Wants to date someone. You like them. They also like you. You share some common interests. There is at least some level of mutual physical/sexual attraction. Some circumstance results in you meeting this person.
Even if you live in densely populated area the number of people that fit those criteria can be very small. Depending on who you are, and where you live, it can even be zero. Because of the age restriction, it's not like new people are going to enter the playing field. At our age the person you are looking for is already living somewhere on this Earth. The only real way to expand the playing field is to move around geographically.
The other option is to settle for someone who does not meet those basic criteria. Maybe you give the smoker a chance to quit. Maybe you help out the crazy person with their issues. Maybe you find someone you don't share anything in common with, and be like the "IBM spouses." Maybe you manage to make the extreme long distance thing work. If you are willing to accept that kind of challenge, you greatly increase the odds of finding someone, but at what cost? You have to decide for yourself if it's worth it.
The final problem is that we happen to be nerdy here. While the overall population is 50/50 male/female, the nerd population is maybe 80/20. There are actually a lot more nerdy females than there used to be, but many of them skew younger. There are plenty of 23 year old nerdy girls, which doesn't help you at all if you are a middle aged nerdy guy. There's also no shortage of 23 year old nerdy guys to compete with. If we had been born 5-10 years later, we would have had so many nerd girls at all the conventions. Instead, we are already "the old guys."
That brings in the creep factor. You can also be Stevie B and break the age barrier. But isn't it better to do nothing than to be a total sleazeball? That is the other problem with nerdy guys, they are too nice. They either are scary fanboys that nobody talks to, or they are smart and cool and avoid doing anything creepy or sleazy at all costs. That makes it extremely hard to find the right person even if all the stars are aligned. Imagine Fluttershy and Flutterguy. Two people so nice will have almost no chance of getting together, even if they are perfect for each other, without some third party directly intervening and pushing them along.
I think George needs to focus less on finding a girl that likes cars or nerdy things. If he can find one, great, but it will be very hard. Instead, he should focus on his other love, alcohol. It will be extremely easy to find a girl who loves to drink. Unlike the nerd population which skews male, the alcohol loving population is as close to 50/50 as you can get.
In my hometown, there was this cool monthly get together of car fanatics in a shopping center parking lot. A bunch of car-nuts would drive up, chat, show off what they were working on, and since they never did anything inappropriate (not to mention spent a ton of money), the store owners encouraged them to come. I used to work with a girl who always went with her girlfriends (even though she drove a beat-up Volkswagen), and eventually I got her to admit they went to go meet boys.
Also, maybe this seems unheard of in this forum, but I don't want my next girlfriend to be into the typical nerdy stuff. Life is about sampling as much as possible, and what better way to expand your horizons than to hang out with people who have different interests? It'll never be a detriment to find out that new someone loves board games, or fantasy novels, or technology, but I'd rather date somebody with other interests (like politics, art, literature, and even some guilty pleasures like chick-flicks and overpriced meals) than date a female copy of myself. The moment where you find out the girl you're talking to digs Settlers of Catan may be neat, but the feeling you get from teaching someone the game is always much, much more awesome.*
Common interests are just conversation starters ("Oh, you like My Little Pony too? Let's talk about that until we feel comfortable..."). If you really want to make something last, find someone who jives with your personality, your sense of humor, and all of those other things that cause you to enjoy what you enjoy. And yes, this may mean working on facets of your personality that seem to hamper your social abilities (like introversion or making absurdly inappropriate jokes), but in the end, those odds will be closer to Emily's 50% rather than Scott's .001%.
*EVIL SIDE NOTE: Not to mention you can indoctrinate them with your tastes, interests and biases ("Call of Duty? Oh, noooo, you don't want to try that one, honey. Now let's go play some Halo co-op. You can drive the Warthog!")
While it can be argued that common interests are "just" conversation starters, I think they're also very often an indicator of similar perspectives in the broader sense.
When I say common interest, it doesn't mean someone who is a copy of yourself. Even within the realm of nerdery there is such diversity. Look at any of the nerdy couples in this forum. Both people are geeky, but different geeky. You can have a team up of board game guy and Dr. Who girl. Maybe both people like anime, but one of them likes it way more than the other.
The thing is that when you are a geek of any kind, (even sports geek, car geek, etc.) those interests are a thing that takes a significant part of your life. In a way, they are already your lover. If someone is going to be your actual lover, then they need to be able to understand that you also love these geekeries. If they are geeky about something, anything at all, then odds are good they will accept, respect, or even share in your geekery. You must avoid at all costs the person who tries to tell you not to go to board game night, or to get rid of all your toys/comics.
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Hang tight, man. Best wishes for a quick recovery. It sounds like they got her to the hospital in the nick of time.
I woke up to Moebius's death and my faith in relationships shaken to the core. Also, my screenplay is now worthless. Fuck.
For some people any relationship is a means to an end. They may or may not be aware of it. For other people, "being in a relationship" is the end unto itself. And I would say I fall into the third category, people that "just happen to be in a relationship" but are not necessarily trying to get anything out of it one way or another. It's just happenstance. And any of them can seem like the other kinds to various people at various different times, partners can have disparate intentions, and things can change over time.
I spend a whole lot of time asking myself "why I do thing" and "why I like to do thing" which is both an incredible advantage and disadvantage. I'm overwhelmingly in-your-face honest about my intentions in all things.
Anyway, your "faith" in relationships doesn't have to be so broken, I think it just needs to be more fluid. It's not a thing that lends itself credibly to science, logic, and skepticism (yet at least). Maybe they were in the kind of relationship you imagined for a time, or at least they both thought they were, and things changed.
A friend of mine from a previous job got her driver's license taken away because she was driving with an expired license in Virginia. Her license was taken away according to her until she pays her fine in the DMV and she also has a court date in about 2 months, this happened while she was a designated driver of a friend that previously got in trouble due a DUI.
She was a nice person during my time at my previous job and sometimes I try to catch up and we google chat ( That is how I learned about her recent happening).
Since her work is close to mine and she lives in the way to mine, I send her a message that if something happens after her court date and her license is suspended that I would be more than glad to help her out. She told me that she would definitely contact me if something like that happens.
She was suppose to get her license on Friday but today she told me that she was not able to. However, she got to work ok. I didn't ask how but she told me that she was at work.
I now this is crazy but I feel a little bit bad that she didn't ask me for my help ( She lives in Fairfax,VA and works in Gaithersburg,MD ).
I do want to help her but she told me that she will tell me later what happened. Should I clarify to her that I only want to help her because she is a friend. Do you guys think she might think that I am interested in her?
You're into cars! There are girls who are also into cars!
1) was a competitive FPS player (Counterstrike was her preferred game, but she was also a big Halo fan - she was ranked in double digits on Xbox Live)
2) owned a 2007 WRX (manual transmission) and drove it like it was meant to be driven
3) was single the entire time I worked with her
4) and was smoking hot
So, they definitely exist.
There are totally car girls! My sister is one (although she has been more into motorcycles lately.) She is cuter than me, super smart, played Half Life and NS, and turned down graduating early so she could spend most of her senior year taking automotive-tech at the local trade school.
She's been dating the same guy since she was 14, so this does apply to you, but I'm just saying, I know first hand what it is like to live with a total car geek.
There are indeed some, perhaps many, people that are extremely picky. You know the kind of people that only want to date a supermodel who will sweep them off their feet in some sort of unrealistic television romance scenario. Those people obviously have a problem. Not only are they crazy, but they are looking for a person that does not exist, and never has existed.
I'm saying that even if you just limit yourself realistically, the odds are high that a person for you might not exist. Let's just list some realistic limitations that a reasonable non-picky person might use to filter potential suitors.
Is single. Speaks a language that you also speak. Lives in the same general geographic area. Is roughly the same age. Is of the desired gender and sexual orientation. Doesn't have wildly opposed religious or political views. Isn't crazy or already filled with some major drama. Doesn't smoke. Isn't a drug addict. Wants to date someone. You like them. They also like you. You share some common interests. There is at least some level of mutual physical/sexual attraction. Some circumstance results in you meeting this person.
Even if you live in densely populated area the number of people that fit those criteria can be very small. Depending on who you are, and where you live, it can even be zero. Because of the age restriction, it's not like new people are going to enter the playing field. At our age the person you are looking for is already living somewhere on this Earth. The only real way to expand the playing field is to move around geographically.
The other option is to settle for someone who does not meet those basic criteria. Maybe you give the smoker a chance to quit. Maybe you help out the crazy person with their issues. Maybe you find someone you don't share anything in common with, and be like the "IBM spouses." Maybe you manage to make the extreme long distance thing work. If you are willing to accept that kind of challenge, you greatly increase the odds of finding someone, but at what cost? You have to decide for yourself if it's worth it.
The final problem is that we happen to be nerdy here. While the overall population is 50/50 male/female, the nerd population is maybe 80/20. There are actually a lot more nerdy females than there used to be, but many of them skew younger. There are plenty of 23 year old nerdy girls, which doesn't help you at all if you are a middle aged nerdy guy. There's also no shortage of 23 year old nerdy guys to compete with. If we had been born 5-10 years later, we would have had so many nerd girls at all the conventions. Instead, we are already "the old guys."
That brings in the creep factor. You can also be Stevie B and break the age barrier. But isn't it better to do nothing than to be a total sleazeball? That is the other problem with nerdy guys, they are too nice. They either are scary fanboys that nobody talks to, or they are smart and cool and avoid doing anything creepy or sleazy at all costs. That makes it extremely hard to find the right person even if all the stars are aligned. Imagine Fluttershy and Flutterguy. Two people so nice will have almost no chance of getting together, even if they are perfect for each other, without some third party directly intervening and pushing them along.
I think George needs to focus less on finding a girl that likes cars or nerdy things. If he can find one, great, but it will be very hard. Instead, he should focus on his other love, alcohol. It will be extremely easy to find a girl who loves to drink. Unlike the nerd population which skews male, the alcohol loving population is as close to 50/50 as you can get.
Also, maybe this seems unheard of in this forum, but I don't want my next girlfriend to be into the typical nerdy stuff. Life is about sampling as much as possible, and what better way to expand your horizons than to hang out with people who have different interests? It'll never be a detriment to find out that new someone loves board games, or fantasy novels, or technology, but I'd rather date somebody with other interests (like politics, art, literature, and even some guilty pleasures like chick-flicks and overpriced meals) than date a female copy of myself. The moment where you find out the girl you're talking to digs Settlers of Catan may be neat, but the feeling you get from teaching someone the game is always much, much more awesome.*
Common interests are just conversation starters ("Oh, you like My Little Pony too? Let's talk about that until we feel comfortable..."). If you really want to make something last, find someone who jives with your personality, your sense of humor, and all of those other things that cause you to enjoy what you enjoy. And yes, this may mean working on facets of your personality that seem to hamper your social abilities (like introversion or making absurdly inappropriate jokes), but in the end, those odds will be closer to Emily's 50% rather than Scott's .001%.
*EVIL SIDE NOTE: Not to mention you can indoctrinate them with your tastes, interests and biases ("Call of Duty? Oh, noooo, you don't want to try that one, honey. Now let's go play some Halo co-op. You can drive the Warthog!")
The thing is that when you are a geek of any kind, (even sports geek, car geek, etc.) those interests are a thing that takes a significant part of your life. In a way, they are already your lover. If someone is going to be your actual lover, then they need to be able to understand that you also love these geekeries. If they are geeky about something, anything at all, then odds are good they will accept, respect, or even share in your geekery. You must avoid at all costs the person who tries to tell you not to go to board game night, or to get rid of all your toys/comics.