After not talking to her for a few weeks, I think I just secured a date with Facebook Girl for lunch? And she asked me what the best date of Pitchfork was and then bought tickets to that day? And then we exchanged phone numbers and she asked when I get back to the US?
Things are just weird in general. No relationship prospects for six months followed by multiple prospects at once. This probably means that if I applied for a job across the country right now, I'd probably get an offer. Drama always comes in threes or some-such thing.
Things are just weird in general. No relationship prospects for six months followed by multiple prospects at once. This probably means that if I applied for a job across the country right now, I'd probably get an offer. Drama always comes in threes or some-such thing.
Maybe it is just your outlook, things tend to go better when you think they will.
This is such a beautiful idea, but after many many breaks ups and dumpings, I don't try to do this anymore. Seriously, it's very hard to do this. It's hard to care about, give time to, and keep in touch with someone.
Doing this may seem easy, as it's easier to make small changes in your life they dramatic ones, but it will bring you pain and annoyance when these people either move on with their lives or are still attached.
People control their own emotions, you control your own happiness. Don't put your self into situations that will only bring yourself pain. I know it makes it seem like your being an asshole telling them that it's over and "we are done, like done done". But it really isn't. Your not a dick when you care about your own well being. They entered into a relationship with you, and they are adults as well. They knew what could happen. You don't have to protect them or their feelings, they will do that themselves.
All of the people I have tried to stay close with or keep talking to haven't really made my life better in any regard after we broke up. Eventually I just ended up dropping them when I realized this. I don't strive for this fantasy situation anymore where I go back to being their friend, because really it's not worth it.
After not talking to her for a few weeks, I think I just secured a date with Facebook Girl for lunch? And she asked me what the best date of Pitchfork was and then bought tickets to that day? And then we exchanged phone numbers and she asked when I get back to the US?
I don't even know. My life is so fuckin' weird.
Didn't I tell you that chilling works. Now, did you run?
You want weird? About a week ago, I went to a seder with some of my roommates. Got fabulously drunk, like you do, and went back to my suite at about 1 AM. My lesbian suitemate and I were hanging out on the couch and cuddling (we're known to cuddle often), and suddenly she starts making out with me.
I was, to say the least, incredibly confused. Rolled with it, as makeouts are awesome, but I am still very confused by the whole experience.
Awesome, awesome to the max! Now here is a question for you all So, last tuesday I kind of organize a happy hour at the last minute with my friends and a new co-worker with her roomates. It suddenly came to us that the restaurant we went for happy hour does not have a proper happy hour so the first people that arrived to the place (me included) decided to just drink wine. Later on my new co-worker arrives with her roomates, her roomates are very attractive by the way. We got round table on the corner so everyon had a chance to talk to each other. One the roomates sits next to me, and I started talking to her. I mean what else was I suppose to do. Sit there and not do anything? She seems cool, so we kept on talking. It was just talking and I didn't try any moves or anything like that. Suddenly by the end of the night my new co-worker comes and sit next to her roomate and fills her glass of wine to almost the limit. By that time we almost finished 3 bottles between at least 4 people. I do not remember well what I said but it was close to this "I will match that because I lady does not drink alone". And then I pour as much Pinot Noir on my glass as she had on hers. I thought it was what I gentleman was suppose to do. She said " I will drink to that" and we drunk all the wine. So the evening ended and we just left saying that we all should do this again. It was pretty late, about 10:30 and the next day we had to go to work. Also that girl I was chatting is a primary school teacher so she definately had to leave. I didn't even care to ask for her number. She was cool, but I am pretty sure I would see her again, so why the rush, right? So, today my friend at work told me, "Dude, you were trying to hard with that chick on Tuesday". I was kind of surprise of that, since I didn't even trying. Do you guys think I was "trying to hard"? I forgot to tell you all that suddenly during a conversation she did say that "I would have pity sex with you", for something that happened to me in Peru during my vacation, but that is a story for another time (I was not the one that started telling that story).
I could see someone saying you were trying too hard if she was the only person you talked to most of the night, although it's more understandable due to it being a seating arrangement thing at a restaurant, instead of a party where one should mingle.
I could see someone saying you were trying too hard if she was the only person you talked to most of the night, although it's more understandable due to it being a seating arrangement thing at a restaurant, instead of a party where one should mingle.
I did tried to talk with the rest of the guys and girls, but there was so much noise our conversations were always interrupted :O
Without being there first-hand I can't truly weight in, but my anecdotal evidence suggests that for a lot of people they just assume you are "trying" just because you're in that situation... and when they are in that situation they just assume everybody is "trying". You were trying in as much as you honestly felt you were trying, that's all there is to know about it. Her making that statement may tell you more about her than you.
You want weird? About a week ago, I went to a seder with some of my roommates. Got fabulously drunk, like you do, and went back to my suite at about 1 AM. My lesbian suitemate and I were hanging out on the couch and cuddling (we're known to cuddle often), and suddenly she starts making out with me.
I was, to say the least, incredibly confused. Rolled with it, as makeouts are awesome, but I am still very confused by the whole experience.
She probably thinks you'd be hot in a skirt or something. Or she wanted to see what it was like to make out with a dude. I dunno.
But here's a protip: you don't do anything when you're drunk that you didn't at least consider while sober.
But here's a protip: you don't do anything when you're drunk that you didn't at least consider while sober.
I can't decide what's worse - that things happen around me when I'm drunk that would cause this sort of rule to be invented, or the fact that I already follow this rule.
I generally prefer "Anything you agree to do drunk, Do it when you're sober." Teaches you to not agree to do things when you're drunk really fast.
Today she got in touch first. She wanted to tell me that she'd bought tickets for P4K, and what day she was going. We started off talking about our problems with our colleges, and our issues with a lot of the people we're forced to be around. Then, we finally talked about high school, which ended up as a really raw discussion of some of our mutual problems (apparently, high school was fucking awful for both of us). She said that I should call or text her if I ever need help. Then, we started talking about Chicago. She ended up realizing she'd been talking to me so long that she was going to be late to class.
We're probably into the realm of "mutual oversharing," at this point. I feel like this is a good thing, but it's weird opening up so completely.
Got friend zoned by cool-friend-of-ex. Not even mad about it.
Yeah, the whole "THE FRIEND ZONE IS THE WORST TORTURE EVER EVIL WOMEN ARE EVIL" thing is just an invention of the socially awkward little penguins who don't get that people are not obliged to fuck you just because you're nice to them, and you like them. It's not really that bad, more friends is cool, and it's not like you can't have sex with friends, and just remain friends.
So what do you guys think about telling someone you're not interested when you've only just talked via messages on OKCupid? Is stop replying the normally accepted protocol here?
Comments
We should all get together and have a sexy party.
I don't even know. My life is so fuckin' weird.
This is such a beautiful idea, but after many many breaks ups and dumpings, I don't try to do this anymore. Seriously, it's very hard to do this. It's hard to care about, give time to, and keep in touch with someone.
Doing this may seem easy, as it's easier to make small changes in your life they dramatic ones, but it will bring you pain and annoyance when these people either move on with their lives or are still attached.
People control their own emotions, you control your own happiness. Don't put your self into situations that will only bring yourself pain. I know it makes it seem like your being an asshole telling them that it's over and "we are done, like done done". But it really isn't. Your not a dick when you care about your own well being. They entered into a relationship with you, and they are adults as well. They knew what could happen. You don't have to protect them or their feelings, they will do that themselves.
All of the people I have tried to stay close with or keep talking to haven't really made my life better in any regard after we broke up. Eventually I just ended up dropping them when I realized this. I don't strive for this fantasy situation anymore where I go back to being their friend, because really it's not worth it.
I was, to say the least, incredibly confused. Rolled with it, as makeouts are awesome, but I am still very confused by the whole experience.
Now here is a question for you all
So, last tuesday I kind of organize a happy hour at the last minute with my friends and a new co-worker with her roomates. It suddenly came to us that the restaurant we went for happy hour does not have a proper happy hour so the first people that arrived to the place (me included) decided to just drink wine. Later on my new co-worker arrives with her roomates, her roomates are very attractive by the way. We got round table on the corner so everyon had a chance to talk to each other. One the roomates sits next to me, and I started talking to her. I mean what else was I suppose to do. Sit there and not do anything? She seems cool, so we kept on talking. It was just talking and I didn't try any moves or anything like that. Suddenly by the end of the night my new co-worker comes and sit next to her roomate and fills her glass of wine to almost the limit. By that time we almost finished 3 bottles between at least 4 people. I do not remember well what I said but it was close to this "I will match that because I lady does not drink alone". And then I pour as much Pinot Noir on my glass as she had on hers. I thought it was what I gentleman was suppose to do. She said " I will drink to that" and we drunk all the wine.
So the evening ended and we just left saying that we all should do this again. It was pretty late, about 10:30 and the next day we had to go to work. Also that girl I was chatting is a primary school teacher so she definately had to leave. I didn't even care to ask for her number. She was cool, but I am pretty sure I would see her again, so why the rush, right?
So, today my friend at work told me, "Dude, you were trying to hard with that chick on Tuesday". I was kind of surprise of that, since I didn't even trying.
Do you guys think I was "trying to hard"?
I forgot to tell you all that suddenly during a conversation she did say that "I would have pity sex with you", for something that happened to me in Peru during my vacation, but that is a story for another time (I was not the one that started telling that story).
But here's a protip: you don't do anything when you're drunk that you didn't at least consider while sober.
I generally prefer "Anything you agree to do drunk, Do it when you're sober." Teaches you to not agree to do things when you're drunk really fast.
We're probably into the realm of "mutual oversharing," at this point. I feel like this is a good thing, but it's weird opening up so completely.