Meh. Someone will probably find you attractive. I believe I first heard this from Churba (though he probably got it elsewhere): "Different strokes for different folks." Don't worry about it. Things have a way of working themselves out.
I'm definitely not a ladies man, if you know what I mean. It's really intimidating to see all these attractive people online, including a lot of you guys!
Dude, we're attractive because (a) we're being very selective of our photos, and (b) we're projecting confidence and awesome.
But see, that awesomeness is hard to contain, and sometimes you end up with shit like this:
A Medium is sized for a 38 - 40" chest. A Large is ~42 - 44" XL is ~46 - 48" 2X is 50 - 52"
And so on.
I wear a 2X shirt, but I actually stretch out the chest when I wear it - it also fits my shoulders. 3X fits me better in the chest, but it's too large in the shoulders.
AFAIK, the average adult male in the US is around a 40 - 42" chest.
I have slightly broad shoulders and where a large usually. I would prefer a larger size but being my height it makes it annoying to even where a large much less anything bigger.
I'm generally confident with myself in-person, which makes it strange that I am so hesitant and nervous to initiate any sort of date, especially from online sources. Still, the encouragement you guys are giving is very helpful, and I really appreciate it.
You can generally count on us to encourage attitudes and activities that tend towards a net increase in sexy rumpus.
And throw a little arrogance into the mix. Part of being confident is giving people the impression that your shit in fact stinks. Sometimes, you have to make declarations about the amount of stink your shit generates. You should be able to back up most of those claims with actual stink - most people will forgive a 15 or 20% gap in stink expectation.
A lot of human interaction involves paying attention to how you sell yourself, and how someone is pitching themselves to you.
Hell yeah! That is excellent advice, actually, and I'm definitely going to try to heed it.
I guess my apprehension lies in the fact that I would be actively seeking a date, instead of coming across a date incidentally, which is where all of my dating experience comes from.
Don't think of "actively dating" as something with an on and off switch. Think of it as a process in sleep mode that knows when to turn on. Get out there, live life, exercise your mind/body/social skills, and learn those right moments to date just seem to come more frequently and more clearly (rather than being stumbled upon).
Well, when I say "actively dating", I'm generally referring to what George is doing: responding to messages on dating sites like OkCupid. I'm definitely hesitant to go that route, though I'm not entirely sure why. Have you guys had any good/bad experiences with that type of dating?
That is a great outlook on life, though, schenvets. I approve wholeheartedly.
In my experience, almost all guys wear t-shirts that are a size too big for them. I did as well, until one of my friends pointed out where the shoulders of a shirt are supposed to be.
I am currently in an... interesting situation, and will swear myself to silence on anything more than that.
Well, when I say "actively dating", I'm generally referring to what George is doing: responding to messages on dating sites like OkCupid. I'm definitely hesitant to go that route, though I'm not entirely sure why. Have you guys had any good/bad experiences with that type of dating?
That is a great outlook on life, though, schenvets. I approve wholeheartedly.
Work on being comfortable with yourself.
That said, dating is part of the process of getting comfortable with yourself. You learn about yourself through interactions with other people. So when you talk to someone you might be interested in, just be upfront about who you are, including the fact that you are still working on figuring that out. You don't need to ask permission before you do everything, but do let the person know that you're open to being corrected if you cross a line.
A really big, huge part of it is to stop worrying that you're going to do something wrong. Just don't do anything you'd be ashamed to own up to, and keep the lines of communication open. The rest will follow.
54 - 58" chest. Draw length with a bow? Just shy of 28". And my inseam is also 28". Yet I'm 6' tall.
Half your luck. I gotta use 32 inch arrows, which are not easy or cheap to find around here. Not to mention that my old bow is relatively dinky now, and I have to upgrade if I want to get back into shooting regularly - at the moment, I'm just using a bow cobbled together from my mate's spare parts, a 23 inch riser with a pair of 25-inch limbs. It is, to borrow his description, Monstrous - It's the size of a traditional longbow, damned near.
Don't think of "actively dating" as something with an on and off switch. Think of it as a process in sleep mode that knows when to turn on. Get out there, live life, exercise your mind/body/social skills, and learn those right moments to date just seem to come more frequently and more clearly (rather than being stumbled upon).
I don't think I've ever actually intended to start dating someone, I always just kinda stumbled into it. This has only ever really caused a problem twice, in both cases the person in question insisting that we have to do the traditional ask-and-answer for it to be "proper" or "official."
If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, no worries, it will when it does.
I believe I first heard this from Churba (though he probably got it elsewhere): "Different strokes for different folks."
You probably did. It's a common saying here, though.
I don't think I've ever actually intended to start dating someone, I always just kinda stumbled into it. This has only ever really caused a problem twice, in both cases the person in question insisting that we have to do the traditional ask-and-answer for it to be "proper" or "official."
My anecdote would be that the relationships I stumble into seem to be the ones that actually amount to anything. Part of that could just be my personality, but when I've gone out of my comfort zone to see people it's always been extra awkward - and I need no additional awkwardness.
Nuri, that first picture is probably my favorite picture of you of all TIME.
That was my senior photo. It's a good thing my mom is cool. I didn't bother changing for the pictures since I figured we weren't going to be buying any of their ludicrously expensive prints.
I'm glad my senior photo doesn't exist except in the form of a yearbook picture. I was the epitome of the fat, awkward high school geek.
I still don't know how to handle the question of a date vs. hanging out. That will be an interesting obstacle.
How about "both"?
Or, "I'm enjoying your company. If it leads to more, that could be cool too."
I'm a fan of "both" and "let's see." I'm nonchalant enough with everything to the point where those would come off as legitimate answers without sounding too try-hard.
Comments
"Different strokes for different folks."
Don't worry about it. Things have a way of working themselves out.
But see, that awesomeness is hard to contain, and sometimes you end up with shit like this:
You can generally count on us to encourage attitudes and activities that tend towards a net increase in sexy rumpus.
And throw a little arrogance into the mix. Part of being confident is giving people the impression that your shit in fact stinks. Sometimes, you have to make declarations about the amount of stink your shit generates. You should be able to back up most of those claims with actual stink - most people will forgive a 15 or 20% gap in stink expectation.
A lot of human interaction involves paying attention to how you sell yourself, and how someone is pitching themselves to you.
I guess my apprehension lies in the fact that I would be actively seeking a date, instead of coming across a date incidentally, which is where all of my dating experience comes from.
That is a great outlook on life, though, schenvets. I approve wholeheartedly.
I am currently in an... interesting situation, and will swear myself to silence on anything more than that.
That said, dating is part of the process of getting comfortable with yourself. You learn about yourself through interactions with other people. So when you talk to someone you might be interested in, just be upfront about who you are, including the fact that you are still working on figuring that out. You don't need to ask permission before you do everything, but do let the person know that you're open to being corrected if you cross a line.
A really big, huge part of it is to stop worrying that you're going to do something wrong. Just don't do anything you'd be ashamed to own up to, and keep the lines of communication open. The rest will follow.
If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, no worries, it will when it does. You probably did. It's a common saying here, though.
Or, "I'm enjoying your company. If it leads to more, that could be cool too."
I have nothing to say about dating.
Also when did they start letting you do crazy stuff in your senor pictures?