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Dating

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  • edited May 2012
    I'm hoping that once I'm on something to fix my brain chemistry, I'll just constantly be the wisecracking, hypersocial, flirtatious intellectual I morph into when I'm a bit hypomanic. Girls really seem to like that guy. They kiss him apropos of nothing and grab his junk out of curiosity. He could probably get me some dates, and he dresses really well.

    That's the me I wish I always was. Depression blows (understatement of the century given how dark my moods have been for the past few months), but hypomania is fucking incredible. It's literally the best feeling I have ever felt.
    Post edited by WindUpBird on
  • What it is a matter of, then?
    Gender, mostly.

  • What it is a matter of, then?
    Gender, mostly.
    I suppose that could make things a little difficult if you're not looking for a heterosexual relationship, or your social group will be weirded out if you ask a dude out who's straight.

    Speaking frankly, though, I've never been weirded out in the handful of times that a guy has come onto me; I always wind up rather flattered but politely demure. The only time I've ever been weirded out was when this really creepy dude made clear his desire to either have sex with me or my female friend, but that was just a factor of that guy being really goddamned sleazy.
  • Well, then.
  • Speaking frankly, though, I've never been weirded out in the handful of times that a guy has come onto me; I always wind up rather flattered but politely demure.
    Yeah, same. The one time I got weirded out was when I was in Little Tokyo standing outside a ramen bar where a creepy older man asked me if I wanted to check out his ramen noodle.
  • Yeah, the risk of "coming onto" someone that may not even be geneticaly interested is highly limiting. It is definitely more complicated than just meeting as many new acquaintances as possible and socializing.
  • Does anyone have experience rejecting someone on OkCupid? We've been hitting it off pretty well, but certain things started rubbing me the wrong way. How would you guys go about expressing disinterest in a nice and polite way?

    I know how to be tactful and such, but I'm curious what you guys would do.
  • Does anyone have experience rejecting someone on OkCupid? We've been hitting it off pretty well, but certain things started rubbing me the wrong way. How would you guys go about expressing disinterest in a nice and polite way?

    I know how to be tactful and such, but I'm curious what you guys would do.
    Most people just stop replying without saying anything.
  • Well, I'd also like to at least remain friends with this person.
  • Well, I'd also like to at least remain friends with this person.
    That's just not the way okcupid works.
  • Just be honest and tell them you only want to be friends. I will say that regardless of how nice and polite it is you likely will not end up being friends with this person in the long run.
  • edited June 2012
    Yeah, I figured as much. Oh well. I feel really bad, but such is life.
    Post edited by VentureJ on
  • Today is the first anniversary of mine and Juliane's first date. We didn't officially become a couple for a week or so after, but we've both decided that the first meeting, and the first time we kissed (for it was on the first date) should be the official anniversary.

    We first met via OkCupid, and after a few messages back and forth decided to meet for drinks and then dinner. She was my first date, and I was her second. We hit it off right away, and we still haven't run out of things to talk about. She is awesome, and she thinks I'm awesome too.

    When we properly became a couple I told her "Get yourself a passport, because if you're with me you'll need one." We went on our first trip together in September, a cruise in the Mediterranean, our second in January, with a visit to England to see my family members. Our third was five weeks in Africa.

    Because we got through all of that without us causing stress for each other, Juliane decided she'd like to move in with me properly. Before then we'd just lived at my apartment while I was in Berlin, and she'd only go to her place when I was away.

    So since May she's only been living at my place (though spending weekends at her parents' place if I'm not about). Everything is going just great. I'm very happy.
  • And now for the next image that people are going to way over analyze rather than just chuckling at the stereotype humor. :P

    image
  • Hey, I've been known to flirt like that too. Except it's not called flirting, it's just called being shy.
  • edited June 2012
    Dating question for the girls here:

    So in several days I'll be back in the States with an opportunity to see this girl I've been chatting with. I have her contact details, but she also works at a clothing store I frequent, and I need new clothes (no joke, I've lost six inches off my waist since getting to the UK). Is it OK to just drop in, or do I stand to weird her out? Should I text her first and see what's up?

    This is all very terra incognita for me.
    Post edited by WindUpBird on
  • edited June 2012
    It's not a pretense, just a convenient coincidence. Drop in, buy some clothes and say hi.

    (Caveat: I'm not a girl)
    Post edited by Linkigi(Link-ee-jee) on
  • Well, I'd also like to at least remain friends with this person.
    That's just not the way okcupid works.
    Bullshit. I've meet a half dozen girls on that site that I'm friends with. Some are closer then others, but you can make friends from a dating site.

    @WindUpBird: I'd ask her for some cloth shopping advice. If she says to come in when she's working then do so. If not then hold off a bit. Or you can just ask her if she wants to catch up over drinks and coitis.

    (Also not a girl, but I do look good in a skirt.)
  • edited June 2012
    I agree with WyWy. Open up the opportunity to give her the chance to have her invite you to her work.

    (I am a girl, but I don't think I think like a girl. And Wyatt probably looks better than me in a skirt.)
    Post edited by Rochelle on
  • Wyatt looks pretty awesome in a skirt, I'll give him that. Thanks for the input, guys.
  • I'd send a text ahead, Much like Wyatt suggests. Don't be too specific about when you're dropping in, even if you know exactly, just kinda send the text, and show up later on, preferably at a time where the shop is quieter.

    (Only a girl on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and special occasions)
  • Well, I'd also like to at least remain friends with this person.
    That's just not the way okcupid works.
    Bullshit. I've meet a half dozen girls on that site that I'm friends with. Some are closer then others, but you can make friends from a dating site.
    That just hasn't been my experience thus far, but I'd rather it weren't.
  • I'm so stupidly in love with my girlfriend...I know at this point, I'll have to meet her in real life at some time. We know what we look like, sound like, etc...but I'm wondering how do we set-up the meet-up. Sadly, it probably won't happen until next year I assume (Due to monetary/time issues on both sides), but we are planning/fantasizing on such a crazy level.
  • edited June 2012
    I'm so stupidly in love with my girlfriend...I know at this point, I'll have to meet her in real life at some time. We know what we look like, sound like, etc...but I'm wondering how do we set-up the meet-up. Sadly, it probably won't happen until next year I assume (Due to monetary/time issues on both sides), but we are planning/fantasizing on such a crazy level.
    Advice - Be careful, take it slow, and get used to each other in person before you move in with each other, despite how much you love each other and know each other now. And there will be some bumps, because there are thing you get which you simply can't observe when you're not standing there with them in the flesh, because they don't think to mention it online - some of those things are bad, some of those things are good, so take that as an advisory, rather than a warning.
    Post edited by Churba on
  • I'm so stupidly in love with my girlfriend...I know at this point, I'll have to meet her in real life at some time. We know what we look like, sound like, etc...but I'm wondering how do we set-up the meet-up. Sadly, it probably won't happen until next year I assume (Due to monetary/time issues on both sides), but we are planning/fantasizing on such a crazy level.
    Advice - Be careful, take it slow, and get used to each other in person before you move in with each other, despite how much you love each other and know each other now. And there will be some bumps, because there are thing you get which you simply can't observe when you're not standing there with them in the flesh, because they don't think to mention it online - some of those things are bad, some of those things are good, so take that as an advisory, rather than a warning.
    Don't worry, this isn't us moving in or settling long plans, I'm more like talking about hanging out for a weekend to a full week. I'm a bit concerned about the sexual tension, but I'm not too worried about it. I mostly look at us hanging out as "What happens, happens." But I would want to correlate her visiting here at the same time as a concert, festival, convention, or trip to say Washington DC to look at the museums (Which she loves). And we're both crazy into food/cooking, so we are thinking about what to eat, make, etc.

    I do find it funny when I started posting this, The Oatmeal created this comic: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/living_significant_other
  • And we're both crazy into food/cooking, so we are thinking about what to eat, make, etc.
    I think a week of just hanging out and cooking with each other sounds great. If a concert or an event happens to take place at the same time, that's gravy.
    @WindUpBird: I'd ask her for some cloth shopping advice. If she says to come in when she's working then do so. If not then hold off a bit. Or you can just ask her if she wants to catch up over drinks and coitis.
    I agree with Wyatt here. On a side note, she will probably know where all the really good deals are too.
  • Don't worry, this isn't us moving in or settling long plans, I'm more like talking about hanging out for a weekend to a full week. I'm a bit concerned about the sexual tension, but I'm not too worried about it. I mostly look at us hanging out as "What happens, happens." But I would want to correlate her visiting here at the same time as a concert, festival, convention, or trip to say Washington DC to look at the museums (Which she loves). And we're both crazy into food/cooking, so we are thinking about what to eat, make, etc.
    Sexual tension? Ah, you got a week, plenty of time to resolve that neatly.

  • Asked a friend for a date, got a friend-date. Oh well.
  • Asked a friend for a date, got a friend-date. Oh well.
    *pat on the back*
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