George, meeting girls is tough. So far, it's only happened to me as a result of two things: 1. Being in a photoshoot with a girl at a convention, and then SURPRISE! She's in my major at college. This was more luck than anything. 2. OKcupid. She messaged me. She's also as weird as I am. *Shrug*
OkCupid worked for me because I was brutally honest. Located here.
You just have to hope that someone who's interested in someone offbeat and different wanders by.
If OkCupid really doesn't work for you, then...I have no clue. Honestly.
Another point: If you think you're not involved in drama, you almost definitely are and are just oblivious. Obviously this happened to Scott, it's happened to me, it's likely happened to quite a few people that will read this.
Nah, that was all a long time ago. There's been no drama of any note in a long, long time.
But no drama involves me currently, or has for some time, as I simply don't care and don't engage.
George, meeting girls is tough. So far, it's only happened to me as a result of two things: 1. Being in a photoshoot with a girl at a convention, and then SURPRISE! She's in my major at college. This was more luck than anything. 2. OKcupid. She messaged me. She's also as weird as I am. *Shrug*
OkCupid worked for me because I was brutally honest. Located here.
You just have to hope that someone who's interested in someone offbeat and different wanders by.
If OkCupid really doesn't work for you, then...I have no clue. Honestly.
I felt I was really honest and up front. I think the part of the problem is the DC area has some many single guys that are frankly speaking more awesome than me. They're better looking, make more money, and have climbed Everest a few times because they were bored. I'm decided average aside from my intelligence. And I live in Manassas, which is the fucking outer rim territory for DC. Seriously, it's where the South begins.
I think the best thing to do is just differentiate yourself from the average guy, in a sense. You might not be more awesome, but what about you makes you better? You may have to play off stereotypes, but if it get's the point across, it does.
George, meeting girls is tough. So far, it's only happened to me as a result of two things: 1. Being in a photoshoot with a girl at a convention, and then SURPRISE! She's in my major at college. This was more luck than anything. 2. OKcupid. She messaged me. She's also as weird as I am. *Shrug*
OkCupid worked for me because I was brutally honest. Located here.
You just have to hope that someone who's interested in someone offbeat and different wanders by.
If OkCupid really doesn't work for you, then...I have no clue. Honestly.
I felt I was really honest and up front. I think the part of the problem is the DC area has some many single guys that are frankly speaking more awesome than me. They're better looking, make more money, and have climbed Everest a few times because they were bored. I'm decided average aside from my intelligence. And I live in Manassas, which is the fucking outer rim territory for DC. Seriously, it's where the South begins.
If you don't think you are awesome, why would a lady think you are awesome? And if a lady doesn't think you are awesome, why would they want to date you?
Scrym, don't forget that you two are both older and far more content with your lives than say, us punk kids who are still in/fresh out of college. Being proactive can potentially cause drama; being assertive can potentially cause drama; ditto with being adventurous, strong-minded, different, among others. Drama is not necessarily exclusive to stubborn, ignorant, or selfish people... and shaking things up a little bit can pay off in spades... like it did for me this weekend :^) .
@Axel, nice profile. Sounds like being brutally honest worked out well for you. It's an angle not everyone is willing to take, but it's definitely better than having to come out to someone about just how nerdy you are.
And George, my best advice to you is break out of your shell a little without the intention of meeting women. Have as big a social circle as possible, including family, friends, co-workers, hobbyists, etc. Remember that with every friendship you create/rekindle, you're also gaining a large number of potential acquaintances... some of which will surely be cute, single girls.
And George, my best advice to you is break out of your shell a little without the intention of meeting women. Have as big a social circle as possible, including family, friends, co-workers, hobbyists, etc. Remember that with every friendship you create/rekindle, you're also gaining a large number of potential acquaintances... some of which will surely be cute, single girls.
Dude, totally this. Most of the girls that I have promising banter with are girls that I meet through my friends, or girls from high school I reconnected with. It's nice.
My hobbies are so predominantly male (guns and cars) that I just haven't met any single girls this way. :P And it seems like everyone in my group of friends is with someone so no dice there too.
My hobbies are so predominantly male (guns and cars) that I just haven't met any single girls this way. :P
Then you hang out with male-gun-and-car-friend. Male-gun-and-car-friend may be happily married to knitting-and-watercolor-girl. While kicking back beers and grilling steaks with gun-and-car-friend, he gets the idea of introducing you to knitting-and-watercolor-wife's friend, watercolor-and-pottery-girl, who has trouble meeting single guys because of her female-centric hobbies.
While - as ever - he could have been slightly more tactful or descriptive about it, the man has a point. Gotta love yourself before someone else will, or at least look like it. And I'm not talking about a quick hand shandy before you meet new people.
But if you do, wash your hands. We're not barbarians, after all.
Tips for better social experiences and create a better view of you. Don't talk about how crappy your life is on public internet sites (this place doesn't count) and when you are talking especially with other single or non-single women (or whatever you are trying to pick up) Also, take advantage of any invitation to go anywhere that will put you in a place with new people, Observe your surroundings and don't be afraid to talk to anyone you notice a hint of common ground with. Like Chase was saying all weekend, he talks to people all the time because of the book he is reading or they are reading on the subway.
ALSO try and make more local friends before going after a particular chick. A local chick might be put off by the fact that you don't have a social group (ALSO, for some reason geek women tend towards being loners :-p)
While this isn't about girls, I've been fostering friendships that have taken 3 to 4 years to blossom into more then acquaintances. Plus be persistent, most of the relationships I ended up in were after I had given up or had figured it was just going to be a friendship, in general people have some level of attraction to you as long as you keep yourself looking decent and behave semi-rationally/normally Oh and if you go to a party always bring some food or liquor.
Also wait till they are alone with no witnesses to get them alone and stabb....... I mean... What?
It's true, though. People can sense confidence, and it's a turn on for most people. It's like artists with art: Never act like you think your art is bad or other people will treat you like it is. I guess the only way to meet people is to constantly do stuff with groups of strangers and talk to everyone. It's painful if you are shy, but it is the only way. If you don't feel confidence, you have to fake it. Start conversations and let the other person do a lot of the talking. Make simple promt questions like "what do you do?" Figure out your interests and what makes you unique and highlight that somehow. It's like a sport where you train your muscles, being social is. You meet girls the same way you meet any people: be where people are.
Also, George, you are not a bad looking guy at all. You have nice skin, you are tall and thin, and you have pretty brown eyes. You don't have to worry about that aspect of things. Rym says he has seen girls checking you out at cons, so there's that.
Confidence overrides nearly everything else. It almost doesn't matter what you look like. If you're a socially capable guy (you don't pick your nose, drool, or insult people routinely) and don't have festering sores on your face, confidence is really all it takes.
Confidence, and the willingness to be rejected about 90% of the time. This ratio goes down for underwear models, but for most of us it's around 90%. Focus on the 10% and don't fall in love at first sight.
Can't believe I'm saying this, but Scott has a point. You are constantly saying you're not awesome (in this thread at least) so how can you be awesome if you don't think you are? I don't know you that well, but the few times we've met, you seem to me to be just as cool/nerdy/awesome as every other guy in the FRC group. Girls want to see confidence, so don't say bad things about yourself! If you really want to feel more awesome, why not put the girl thing aside and get into some awesome activities? You will feel awesome for doing awesome things, and maybe you'll accidentally stumble upon an awesome girl in your adventures. (I always say the best ones come along when you're not looking for them)
Edit: I totally just fell for the not being on the last page thing, again :-P
Comments
1. Being in a photoshoot with a girl at a convention, and then SURPRISE! She's in my major at college. This was more luck than anything.
2. OKcupid. She messaged me. She's also as weird as I am. *Shrug*
OkCupid worked for me because I was brutally honest. Located here.
You just have to hope that someone who's interested in someone offbeat and different wanders by.
If OkCupid really doesn't work for you, then...I have no clue. Honestly.
But no drama involves me currently, or has for some time, as I simply don't care and don't engage.
I think the best thing to do is just differentiate yourself from the average guy, in a sense. You might not be more awesome, but what about you makes you better? You may have to play off stereotypes, but if it get's the point across, it does.
@Axel, nice profile. Sounds like being brutally honest worked out well for you. It's an angle not everyone is willing to take, but it's definitely better than having to come out to someone about just how nerdy you are.
And George, my best advice to you is break out of your shell a little without the intention of meeting women. Have as big a social circle as possible, including family, friends, co-workers, hobbyists, etc. Remember that with every friendship you create/rekindle, you're also gaining a large number of potential acquaintances... some of which will surely be cute, single girls.
Go George!
You just gotta do a little legwork. Also, get rid of the Lonely Driver complex. Shit is way too Initial D.
But if you do, wash your hands. We're not barbarians, after all.
Step 1 in getting people to like you is to like yourself. Step 2 is, in essence, telling people that they should like you.
Don't talk about how crappy your life is on public internet sites (this place doesn't count) and when you are talking especially with other single or non-single women (or whatever you are trying to pick up) Also, take advantage of any invitation to go anywhere that will put you in a place with new people, Observe your surroundings and don't be afraid to talk to anyone you notice a hint of common ground with. Like Chase was saying all weekend, he talks to people all the time because of the book he is reading or they are reading on the subway.
ALSO try and make more local friends before going after a particular chick. A local chick might be put off by the fact that you don't have a social group (ALSO, for some reason geek women tend towards being loners :-p)
While this isn't about girls, I've been fostering friendships that have taken 3 to 4 years to blossom into more then acquaintances. Plus be persistent, most of the relationships I ended up in were after I had given up or had figured it was just going to be a friendship, in general people have some level of attraction to you as long as you keep yourself looking decent and behave semi-rationally/normally Oh and if you go to a party always bring some food or liquor.
Also wait till they are alone with no witnesses to get them alone and stabb....... I mean... What?
You meet girls the same way you meet any people: be where people are.
Confidence, and the willingness to be rejected about 90% of the time. This ratio goes down for underwear models, but for most of us it's around 90%. Focus on the 10% and don't fall in love at first sight.
Edit: I totally just fell for the not being on the last page thing, again :-P