I see no reason why someone who feels they are unwelcome to participate in a debate should be lauded.
Agreed.
I believe Ro and I were gently ribbing Axel, not lauding him.
I said that I would choose not to participate in this debate because you people tend to disagree with me. While normally I feel that I can provide helpful perspectives for people, I don't think anyone on this forum has been changed a lot by anything I've added (or caused). While I participate in the arguments when I get angry, I've realized my perspective isn't helpful to most people here. Maybe I'm bad at arguing. Or maybe my opinion just isn't worthwhile. Or maybe it just doesn't fit here. I have no idea.
I said that I would choose not to participate in this debate because you people tend to disagree with me.
You can't have a debate when everyone agrees with you ^_~
While normally I feel that I can provide helpful perspectives for people, I don't think anyone on this forum has been changed a lot by anything I've added (or caused).
Axel, that's true most of the time for most people. Being able to actually change your mind when you actually should is really hard for anyone to do.
While I participate in the arguments when I get angry,
Definitely not the best entry criterion.
I've realized my perspective isn't helpful to most people here. Maybe I'm bad at arguing. Or maybe my opinion just isn't worthwhile. Or maybe it just doesn't fit here. I have no idea.
While I don't think those things are true, if you don't think it's worth your time to argue, that's entirely up to you; especially if you don't enjoy it.
While I don't think those things are true, if you don't think it's worth your time to argue, that's entirely up to you; especially if you don't enjoy it.
One can learn to argue. It is simple enough - it's like a martial art for the mind. And this forum is an excellent place to spar.
While I don't think those things are true, if you don't think it's worth your time to argue, that's entirely up to you; especially if you don't enjoy it.
One can learn to argue. It is simple enough - it's like a martial art for the mind. And this forum is an excellent place to spar.
Trust me, I know how to argue, I do it a lot. I just am realizing (and re-realizing, and RE-realizing) that my arguments here aren't usually...Constructive. Or a good use of my time. I like talking with you all about stuff. But when it comes to my moral stances, I tend to be different than most of you. Hence I wouldn't get into an argue about moral relativism, because my view on morals is different enough that I don't think I can provide a perspective that any of you will view as enlightening/helpful. You'll just disagree with me to varying degrees. While plenty of people on here have been fun to debate with, others it just kinda sucks. I won't keep doing it if it's not fun/important to me.
I like talking with you all about stuff. But when it comes to my moral stances, I tend to be different than most of you. Hence I wouldn't get into an argue about moral relativism, because my view on morals is different enough that I don't think I can provide a perspective that any of you will view as enlightening/helpful. You'll just disagree with me to varying degrees.
Perhaps, although I'd note that I am not really a moral relativist; the argument might be more interesting than you expect, though it's not a discussion the forum seems to want at the moment. Another thing to note is that arguing is a two-way street, so even if we don't get anything out of your points, you might get something out of ours.
Overall, though, if it's not worth your time, then clearly you shouldn't do it.
While I don't think those things are true, if you don't think it's worth your time to argue, that's entirely up to you; especially if you don't enjoy it.
One can learn to argue. It is simple enough - it's like a martial art for the mind. And this forum is an excellent place to spar.
First you start with the "your mom", then you get to solipsism.
I'm having coffee with Facebook Girl tomorrow. Realistically, there's nothing to worry about. In actuality, I've only been on Zoloft for three days, so it hasn't kicked in yet. My anxiety problems are making my heart feel like it's going to burst out of my chest and start a fun little Djembe circle with the white Rastafarian kid down the street.
Did I mention that I went to Shakespeare in the Park with the girl I really like? She's unfortunately not interested in dating, but she did say she likes me. So I guess that's something.
Finally met up with the person I saw online. It wasn't really awkward, and we were conversing fairly smoothly, but... I just can't see myself going through with it! They were way more conventionally attractive than I am, and fairly interesting, but this person was far too feminine, was way too outwardly active, and said stuff like "YOLO!" and "Mah BITCHUZZ", etc.
I think I may be the one doing the rejecting, and I feel really bad about it. Is that superficial of me?
Who cares if it's superficial? If it bother's you it bother's you. I only see a problem with it if you turn around and start complaining that you can't find anyone afterwards.
If someone likes you, and wants to be with you, and you turn them down? That's a really great way to build confidence. There's nothing wrong with making someone slightly bad or disappointed to not end up in a relationship you might find annoying and stressful. Turning her down now is the non-dick move, not the dick move.
On the other side of this equation, about a year after a big bad breakup, I was kinda dating a girl and I said (paraphrasing here) "How about we become a proper couple?" She was also getting over another relationship, and turned me down.
And my thought process was something like "Yes! I win! I was the one who wanted to be in a real relationship and she didn't! I'm the one who has moved on from previous bad relationship first!" (despite her bad breakup being months before and mine being more than a year before).
In that case her turning me down was the best thing for both of us. But it gave me a huge boost in confidence, and that was exactly what I needed right then. A few months later I got together with Pola, and we were a couple for five years. The relationship with Pola was likely far better than anything that might have worked out between Zelda and me, not because Zelda wasn't really cool, but it obviously wasn't a good time for us to get together.
Comments
I like talking with you all about stuff. But when it comes to my moral stances, I tend to be different than most of you. Hence I wouldn't get into an argue about moral relativism, because my view on morals is different enough that I don't think I can provide a perspective that any of you will view as enlightening/helpful. You'll just disagree with me to varying degrees.
While plenty of people on here have been fun to debate with, others it just kinda sucks. I won't keep doing it if it's not fun/important to me.
Overall, though, if it's not worth your time, then clearly you shouldn't do it.
Ohhhh well.
I'M NOT THAT BAD AT THIS YOU GUISE
Did I mention that I went to Shakespeare in the Park with the girl I really like? She's unfortunately not interested in dating, but she did say she likes me. So I guess that's something.
I think I may be the one doing the rejecting, and I feel really bad about it. Is that superficial of me?
Confidence is pretty much all there is to dating. Fake it until you make it truly does apply here. You'll find another.
On the other side of this equation, about a year after a big bad breakup, I was kinda dating a girl and I said (paraphrasing here) "How about we become a proper couple?" She was also getting over another relationship, and turned me down.
And my thought process was something like "Yes! I win! I was the one who wanted to be in a real relationship and she didn't! I'm the one who has moved on from previous bad relationship first!" (despite her bad breakup being months before and mine being more than a year before).
In that case her turning me down was the best thing for both of us. But it gave me a huge boost in confidence, and that was exactly what I needed right then. A few months later I got together with Pola, and we were a couple for five years. The relationship with Pola was likely far better than anything that might have worked out between Zelda and me, not because Zelda wasn't really cool, but it obviously wasn't a good time for us to get together.
Don't feel bad. Feel awesome.